Josh’s eyes swept over her hair and face. The intensity of his gaze made her catch a breath and hold it. “My mom would approve. Natural beauty is a rare thing.”
Emmy bit at her cheek. Her face flushed. “Thank you.”
Dinner progressed smoothly as they took time to learn about each other and tease a bit. Emmy was grateful that the conversation never went to her past. Josh was careful not to dredge up the memories of Grayson’s death. She was also happy she stopped shaking and settled down to eat the delicious food.
As they exited the restaurant, he took her hand and Emmy felt the oddest sensation—the comfort of home intermingled with such excitement that she got butterflies. The ride home passed too quickly, and before she knew it they were standing on her doorstep.
Josh leaned close, and her breath caught in her throat. He brushed the hair from her face, then framed her cheek with his large palm. “Thank you for going with me,” he whispered.
“Thank you for dinner,” Emmy stammered, unable to think straight with his blue gaze searing through her.
He pressed his lips to her cheek. Fire raced through her, and she had to force herself not to turn in to the kiss. He backed away, his hand dropping to his side. His smile made her breathing even more erratic. “Could I stop by tomorrow after work?”
She nodded several times.
“It might be kind of late.”
“I don’t sleep.”
A question lit his eyes. “Not that late, maybe about nine.”
Emmy blushed. “Sounds great. I’ll see you then.” She gave him a little wave before unlocking the door and letting herself in. Leaning around the sidelight, she watched him walk to his truck, wishing he wouldn’t have been such a gentleman by only kissing her cheek.
15
EMMY WAS HOME FROM PRACTICE by eight. The minutes slowly clicked by. Finally, at nine-fifteen, the doorbell rang. She rushed to the door. Josh stood there with a huge smile showing off his dimples. He held out his hand. “Wanna take a walk on the beach?”
Emmy had a hard time thinking with his large hand engulfing her smaller one. “Sure.”
She set the alarm and locked her door with the code. Josh walked slowly, his thumb tracing across the back of her hand. Emmy trembled, his touch doing odd things to her insides. The sun had just set. Emmy loved the beach this time of night—the seagulls settling down, the waves crashing softly, and few people. It was a little bit chilly, but she hardly noticed that with Josh’s warmth next to her.
“I miss walking on the beach at night.”
“Did you used to walk on the beach a lot?” he asked.
“Almost every night; Grayson knew I loved it.” His hand clenched hers tighter and the thumb stopped its provocative movements. She sighed. “But I haven’t dared since.”
Josh didn’t say anything until they were almost to the water’s edge. They were the only ones on the beach, and it was growing dark with only a sliver of a moon rising. He tugged her around to face him and wrapped his free arm around her back. “If you’d let me, I’d take you on a walk on the beach every night.”
Emmy stared up into his deep blue eyes, mesmerized. He didn’t move and seemed to be holding his breath just like she was. “I’d like that a lot,” she whispered.
Josh’s smile came out. Emmy gasped at the beauty of this man. His tanned skin crinkled around his mouth and the corners of his sapphire eyes. And dang if those dimples didn’t reveal themselves. Emmy leaned closer without meaning to.
“Do you feel it too?” Josh whispered, closing the small gap between them until she could almost taste the warmth and manliness of him.
“What?” she asked, feeling so many things right now she wasn’t sure how to distinguish one from another—attraction, desire, safety—all intermingling into a pull she couldn’t fight if she wanted to.
“The … feeling between us. I’ve never been drawn to someone like this.” He traced his fingers down her cheek, his hand on her back urging her closer. Their bodies were in full contact, their lips inches apart as he leaned down.
She studied his full lips and had to agree that whatever lured her to him was a completely new and amazing experience. “Yes,” she admitted. “I feel it.”
He was tantalizingly close, but he didn’t move, and her breath quickened in anticipation. His eyes searched hers, and just like that night she hit her head, he was questioning. “Emmy?”
“Please,” she whispered back.
He gave a brief grin before covering the distance. His mouth worked in rhythm with hers, producing the most amazing sensation. The attraction that had almost overwhelmed her before now melded into the perfect combination of joy and desire. Emmy wrapped her arms around his broad back, pulling him closer, if that were possible.
He lifted her onto her toes, deepening the kiss until she moaned with pleasure. She lost herself completely in the kiss, the way he tasted of toothpaste, the way his hands moved almost hungrily over her back, nothing mattered but Josh. He finally lowered her back onto her feet, broke contact, and just held her close, his cheek resting against her hair.
“Oh, Emmy.” He groaned softly and lifted her chin until she stared into those blue eyes. “I’ve never—”
He didn’t finish the sentence but captured her mouth again. Much, much later, he broke away and Emmy took long, deep breaths, trying to clear her mind of this lightheaded, happy sensation. Josh was sweeping her away faster than any ocean current could. She loved the way he said he’d never—but then she realized she’d never, ever felt this way about anyone. Not even her husband. That thought was like being dumped in the cold ocean. She started shivering, despite the warmth of Josh’s strong embrace.
“I’d better go back,” she murmured against his chest.
“Oh.” He pulled away slightly so he could study her. “Okay.” He ran his hands down her arms. “Are you cold?”
Emmy’s teeth began chattering. She’d just gone through the most exhilarating experience of her life, and the guilt over never responding like this to Grayson as well as the loss of Josh’s lips on hers had her shivering like a recovering addict.
“Emmy?” Josh held her at arm’s length. “Are you okay?”
“No,” she admitted.
“What’s wrong?” His eyes clouded, his mouth turned down. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, I moved too fast.”
“No!” His kiss was something she’d cherish, though it was the cause of her inner turmoil.
He smiled softly. “I’m glad you don’t regret it already.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever regret that kiss.” She attempted a smile, but it came out lopsided.
“What is it, sweetheart? You can tell me.”
His term of endearment pushed her over the edge. She buried her head in his chest as tears crested her eyelids. Josh held her close until she stopped quivering. Finally she gained enough composure to look up at him.
“What is it? I’ll be here for you, Emmy.”
She shook her head. “You terrify me, Josh.”
“What?” His arms dropped to his side. His eyes widened.
Emmy worked to control her breathing, but her breaths were coming faster and faster as she fought the tears that wanted to surface. “I’ve never felt like that before. I want to be with you so much it’s a physical ache.”
Josh smiled and reached out to her again.
Emmy held up a hand. “You’ve got to give me time to process all of this. It feels better than … Christmas to be in your arms. It’s the most amazing sensation in the world.”
He studied her with a solemn expression. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“I’m scared,” she finally admitted. “Scared that you’re just some shooting star. You’re going to burn out and leave me.”
“What? You’re not making sense. I’ve been waiting, just hoping you’d feel the way I do. Even before I met you officially, I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”
“But that’s just the problem. It’s all …
wrong. I was attracted to you when I was married.”
He inhaled sharply.
“You see why I feel so guilty?”
Josh blinked quickly as if trying to dispel the image. Finally he whispered, “My wife cheated on me. When I found out you were married, I did everything in my power to forget about you. I swore I’d never be the kind of person to break up a marriage.”
Emmy licked her lips and placed her hand on his forearm. “I’m so sorry.” She hung her head, dropping her hand. “I tried everything to make my marriage good, but honestly Josh … it never felt like this. What if this magic between us dims and I can’t bring it back?” Like I couldn’t create it with Grayson?
Josh studied her for several uncomfortable seconds. “Emmy, even if you felt something for me when you were married, you didn’t act on it. In fact, you bit my head off when I approached you.”
Emmy blushed. “I remember that.”
“Me too.” He stepped closer and held out his hand.
It was such a kind invitation, not pushy, not trying to reignite the passion, just being there for her. Emmy grasped his fingers, warmth spreading through her at the intimacy of even this small touch.
“We don’t have to have all the answers. We’ve both been through hard things. But I do know that I want to get to know you better. I want you in my life.”
Emmy smiled.
“Can we at least give us a try and see what happens?”
Emmy was pretty sure fireworks were going to happen when he looked at her like she was the only thing that mattered to him. A try could lead to so much more. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that, but found herself nodding.
They continued their walk along the beach. Josh shared more about his childhood and how he’d recovered from his brief marriage. Emmy didn’t know what to make of her overly active hormones when she looked at, thought about, or touched this man, but she did know he was an extremely good person and she wanted to get to know him better.
16
EMMY CARESSED THE PIANO KEYS, playing “Claire de Lune” for the thousandth time. Rain fell softly outside, muting the world and creating a bubble where the music floated her away from her fear and worries. She became so lost in the familiar notes that she daydreamed about Josh. She couldn’t wait to see him again, but at the same time she worried. She’d never imagined kissing someone could feel that amazing. What if it was just temporary sizzle and sparks? She wanted the comfortable, safe love she had with Grayson, but she also wanted something more. They were different men. Couldn’t she have a different relationship with Josh without losing her love for Grayson, without betraying his memories?
Her fingers stilled on the keys at the end of the song. She sat there, the silence drifting over her. A tapping just a bit louder than the rain on the back patio yanked her from her relaxed state. Someone was out there. Could have been out there the entire time she played. Could have been listening to her. Her hands grew clammy against the piano.
She wanted to call the police and cower under a blanket until they came, but her legs were in motion before her brain caught up. She exploded across the living room, flung open the back door, and searched the murky evening. She couldn’t see anyone, but he was there. She knew it.
She screamed into the night. “I’m not afraid of you! You hear me? You killed my husband, but you can’t make me afraid!”
The shrill house alarm split the air, and Emmy jumped. She knew whoever had been there would be long gone, but she was still going to try to find him. Ignoring a young couple on the beach watching her like she should be in the loony bin, she slammed and deadbolted the door, then called the security company and the police. She wasn’t going to let fear control her any longer.
q
Emmy giggled as she watched the bar scene with Gaston and his cronies play out on the stage—her stage. They sang too loudly and thought themselves hilarious. It was great. Kelton was absolutely perfect as Gaston.
A throat cleared at her side. “Emmy?”
She turned to see Shane towering over her. His dark hair was combed back and his beard had been trimmed. She smiled. “You’ve done a fabulous job with the sets, Shane. Thank you.”
He revealed crooked teeth with a soft grin. “I’m so glad you like them.”
“I do.” She turned back to the stage. He stood next to her until she grew a bit uncomfortable. “Is there anything else you need?”
“Would you like to go to Mo’s after practice with me?”
Emmy took a slow breath. She had to let him down easy because she couldn’t replace him at the theater. He was such a nice man, always taking care of the actors’ needs and never looking for a thank-you.
“No, I can’t.” She hated the pained look in his eyes and rushed on, “It’s just too soon. I haven’t recovered from …” She swallowed and looked away. She was such a liar. She’d recovered enough to think about Josh nonstop and to kiss him. But lying was better than hurting Shane’s feelings.
His shoulders slumped. “I understand, but when you’re ready, I’ll be here.”
He held her gaze for a moment longer before turning and shuffling toward backstage. Emmy refocused on the raucous singing, wishing she could’ve avoided that entire interaction.
17
JOSH WATCHED THE THEATER ENTRANCE through a soft drizzle, anxious for the moment Emmy would appear. He brushed the rain off his face. Was he being too forward coming to see her again so soon? He didn’t want to scare her off when he knew she had reservations.
She exited the door full of happiness, gesturing with her hands and laughing at Timothy, the guy who always acted opposite her. A flash of jealousy stabbed him. She probably spent more time with Timothy than she had her husband. The actor was the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome, plus he shared her passion for performing. Emmy was not only beautiful and talented, she was also wealthy. Josh was a public servant who didn’t really understand her talent or social status. Did he have a chance of finding a place in her life?
Emmy clicked her keyless entry, then paused before opening her door. She glanced in Josh’s direction and lit up for a moment. Timothy said something, and she lost her smile. She nodded to Timothy before walking purposefully to Josh’s side.
“Hey. How are you?” He raised a hand in tentative greeting.
Emmy grabbed his arm and tugged him toward the side of the building. When they were under an overhang and protected from the rain and anyone watching, she said, “What are you doing here?”
“I—” Josh stammered.
Her smooth skin wrinkled at the forehead. Her eyes shot him a questioning glance. “Listen, you can’t just show up all the time. It’s like you’re stalking me.”
His eyebrows rose. Stalking? He wanted to protect her and love her and she thought of him as a stalker? It was as if the kiss had never happened and they were back to zero. He was getting sick of her pushing him away every time he thought he’d made progress. “Yeah, because me and Timothy and every guy in the audience can’t help ourselves so we follow you around like puppies.”
She didn’t respond, just elevated one shoulder. Her dark eyes full of questions.
“I’m not one of your fans who can’t see straight when they’re around you.” Now he was lying, but he hated the jealousy eating away at him. She’d been embarrassed to see him. She probably was dating Timothy.
Her mouth flapped open. “I know you’re not. I just thought …” He watched her face change to a lovely shade of pink. She studied the wooden planks under their feet and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. This other guy asked me out and I lied to him and said I wasn’t ready to date. Then seeing you here. I feel guilty about kissing you and—” She pushed out a long breath. “—enjoying it so much. I don’t want to forget Grayson. I don’t know if I’m ready to move on. I’m just … confused.”
Josh deflated. It wasn’t fair to be upset at her when she was obviously struggling, but he had no clue how to help her move past her
husband’s memory. He gently touched her cheek and then tilted her chin up. “I’m sorry too. I was excited to see you again, and then to have you think I’m stalking you—”
She shook her head, dislodging his fingers. “I don’t. It’s just …” She exhaled before saying, “I’m not ready to date. I should’ve told you the other night. This doesn’t feel right.”
Josh studied her eyes as she spoke. Her words didn’t match the intensity of her gaze. Of course she was an expert at acting, saying things she didn’t mean, but he didn’t think she was being truthful with him. He gulped, terrified that if his instincts were wrong, he would force her to reject him outright. “You’re lying to me, Emmy. You like me, and it scares you.”
Emmy blinked, then leaned closer to him and whispered, “Josh, this isn’t real. You and I are like something people dream of, something from Hollywood.”
Josh smiled at that. Touching her felt better than anything Hollywood could conjure up. He’d watched her from afar and then stayed away since Grayson’s death, fighting his desire to be with her. It was reassuring that she recognized the pull between them.
“I know what a real relationship is,” she said. “I’ve been in one.” Her eyes darkened and filled with pain and guilt.
Josh held her gaze. It hurt him to know the pain she was going through, missing her husband and probably feeling like she was betraying him. And it felt like his stomach was being gouged out when he thought of her with Grayson, Timothy, or anyone else.
“But you and I.” She pointed at him. “We’re all sparkles and tingles and that isn’t real, that fizzes out. I know. I dated other men besides Grayson, and one of us would get bored and move on. I just can’t do that again.”
Josh’s shoulders rounded, but something in her gaze told him to fight. The rain dripping off the roof insulated them in their own world. He took a step toward her and cupped her face in his palm. “Are you honestly telling me that it has ever felt this good?”
Shadows in the Curtain (Destination Billionaire Romance) Page 8