Poppy's War

by Lily Baxter

  ‘So you’re back,’ Violet said, reaching across Poppy to snatch an egg and cress sandwich. ‘Couldn’t keep away from the old place, I suppose.’

  ‘How are you, Violet?’

  Violet flashed her left hand in front of Poppy’s face. ‘Got engaged to a Yank. We’re getting married next month and I’m going to live in Texas. Not bad for a village girl, eh?’

  Poppy was about to congratulate her when she saw Guy heading towards them. His expression was stony and her heart sank.

  ‘Poppy, can I have a word?’

  Chapter Seventeen

  VIOLET SHOT A knowing glance at Poppy. ‘Still kowtowing to the boss, are you?’ She sauntered off, teetering on ridiculously high heels.

  Poppy eyed Guy warily, wondering if she had done something wrong. ‘Yes, Guy?’

  ‘Not here. Wait for me in Father’s study. I’ll just make sure that Pamela is coping.’

  ‘All right.’ Poppy watched him as he strode off towards the drawing room where Marina was holding court from her wheelchair. As Poppy made her way to the study, she wondered what it was that could not be said in public. She hesitated before entering the room. It had been Mr Carroll’s private domain from which he conducted all his business and it seemed like trespassing to go in without seeking his permission. Plucking up courage she opened the door and went inside.

  Edwin’s desk was still neatly laid out exactly as he liked it and there was a pile of unopened correspondence on the blotter. She caught a faint whiff of the bay rum he had used on his hair and the Acqua di Parma aftershave that he favoured above all others. He might be dead, but the room was still patently his. She paced the floor, feeling like a schoolgirl waiting for the headmistress to chastise her for some minor misdemeanour. It seemed like hours but the grandfather clock in the corner showed that she only waited for five minutes before the door opened to admit Guy.

  He smiled apologetically. ‘Sorry, Poppy. I got waylaid by one of Father’s friends. It’s been a terrible shock for everyone.’ He perched on the edge of the desk, motioning her to take a seat.

  She remained standing, clasping her hands behind her back. ‘What did you have to say to me? I really ought to get back and help.’

  ‘They can look after themselves.’ He paused, staring at her intently. ‘What are you doing here, Poppy?’

  Taken aback, she blinked and swallowed hard. ‘I–I came because Pamela asked me to.’

  ‘I know that, and she had no right to impose on your good nature. What bothers me is that you’ve given up your nursing training to come down here and act as an unpaid servant. My sister hasn’t given you a salary, has she?’

  Poppy shook her head. Cold fingers clutched at her insides, squeezing her stomach so that she felt sick. So this was business after all. ‘I came as a friend. Your family took me in and looked after me and I …’

  ‘That’s rubbish and you know it. My family treated you like dirt.’

  ‘You didn’t, and Amy was kindness itself.’

  ‘Amy has a good heart but I’m as much to blame as anyone else. I saw what was going on and I was too wrapped up in my own affairs to do anything about it.’

  ‘You encouraged me to ride.’

  A wry smile curved his lips and his expression softened. ‘Even that was based on self-interest, Poppy. I needed to have my horse exercised and you were the perfect answer.’

  ‘I could have ridden Romeo. Why are you talking like this, Guy? Have I done something wrong?’

  He stood up and walked to the window. ‘Only to yourself. Why did you let Pamela persuade you to come here in the first place? I thought you were happy and settled with your family and your – your friend.’

  ‘If you mean Dennis, that’s all he is – a friend. I know he behaved badly in Lyon’s Corner House, and I told him so, but that’s just Dennis. As to my family, well, Mabel is my sister-in-law but it’s not the same as … oh, you know what I mean.’

  He stared resolutely out of the window. ‘I’m beginning to and I’ve no right to feel sorry for myself when I think of what you must have gone through. Losing your family when you were little more than a child must have caused you unimaginable pain.’

  ‘It did, but I’m grown up now.’

  He turned slowly, meeting her troubled gaze with a steady look. ‘I can see that, which is why I don’t want you to make a dreadful mistake. You shouldn’t have given up everything for us, it’s all wrong. My family will suck you in and spit you out as it pleases them.’

  ‘I don’t believe it. You’re not like that or we wouldn’t be having this conversation now.’

  ‘Beware of the Carrolls. We’re a self-centred bunch used to having our own way. I don’t want to see you taken in.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Guy. I came here of my own free will. I want to help you, I really do.’

  He hesitated, gazing at her with a perplexed frown as if seeing her properly for the first time. ‘I should be packing you off to London to continue your training, but the truth is that I’m glad you’re here, and not just for Mother’s sake.’

  Suddenly it was difficult to breathe. ‘So you want me to stay?’

  ‘Of course I do. More than you could possibly imagine, but …’ He hesitated again. ‘How old are you, Poppy?’

  ‘Sixteen, but I’ll be seventeen next April. I’m perfectly capable of making up my own mind.’

  ‘I know you are, and I also know that you love Squire’s Knapp as much as I do.’

  ‘I do, don’t I? It wasn’t until I returned to London, that I realised how much I was going to miss Rupert and everyone.’ She dropped her gaze, unable to look him in the eyes in case he guessed her secret.

  ‘Even Mother?’

  His smile was infectious and Poppy could not help smiling back. ‘Even Mrs Carroll. She was good to me in her way, and I hate to see her laid low by the wretched stroke.’

  ‘You know too that you’re the only one who can deal with her, and you’ve got young Rupert eating out of your hand. I don’t know how you do it Poppy Brown, but my family is suddenly dependent on you.’

  This made her laugh outright. ‘Who’d have thought it? But seriously, Guy. What do you want me to do? Am I to be a sort of housekeeper cum nurse, or what?’

  He moved swiftly round the desk to take her hands in his. ‘Just be here for them, and for me. You’re very young and I know I shouldn’t ask this of you, but I’m certain that Squire’s Knapp will be as safe in your hands as in my own.’

  When the last guest had left the house Poppy began clearing the table in the dining room with the help of Jean and Mavis. Edie, as usual, was out tending to the livestock.

  Mavis piled plates on a tray, scraping leftover scraps into an enamel dish to feed to the pigs. ‘That went well, I suppose, as far as wakes go.’

  Poppy was only half listening. Her mind was fully occupied with what had passed between Guy and her in the study. It was not so much what he had said, but the look in his eyes and the timbre of his voice had made her feel wanted, needed and – if she dared admit it – loved. It was impossible, of course, but for a few short minutes she was convinced that she had felt something pass between them.

  ‘You haven’t been listening,’ Mavis said in an aggrieved voice. ‘You were miles away, Poppy. What’s up?’

  Jean cut a slice of sponge cake and passed it to Rupert, who had been allowed into the house now that the mourners had departed. Pamela had gone to her room to lie down, and Hector had retired to the conservatory to smoke and chat to Guy. Algy had been left to keep Marina entertained.

  ‘You look very serious,’ Jean said, watching her intently. ‘What did Guy have to say to you? We saw you both going into the study.’

  ‘I know,’ Mavis said, grinning. ‘He’s asked her to marry him, so that she’ll work here for nothing.’

  This drew a reluctant smile from Poppy. She had been wondering how she was going to tell them. ‘Actually, he asked me to look after things for him while
he’s away.’

  ‘No wedding ring?’ Jean handed a linen napkin to Rupert. ‘Best wipe the jam off your face before your mummy sees you, sunshine.’

  ‘Don’t be daft,’ Poppy said, bending down to pick up a half-eaten egg and cress sandwich. She hoped they would think her red cheeks were from exertion and not due to blushing.

  ‘I hope he’s made it worth your while,’ Mavis said tartly. ‘We thought that Mrs P was taking the mickey when she dragged you away from London to wait on her mum and the proverbial little pitcher with big ears.’ She jerked her head in Rupert’s direction, but he seemed more interested in his cake than in their conversation. ‘If you’re giving up your career for the Carrolls then you jolly well should be paid for it.’

  ‘Hear, hear.’ Jean picked up a tray laden with empty glasses. ‘I’ll take this lot down to the kitchen. Mrs Toon’s already up to her armpits in hot water.’ She turned to Rupert. ‘Coming, Rupie?’

  He shoved the rest of the sponge cake into his mouth, nodding furiously.

  ‘We’ll chat later,’ Jean said, making for the doorway with Rupert trotting along behind her. ‘Come to the dorm and we’ll hear all the gory details over a mug of cocoa.’ She was about to leave the room when Algy appeared in the doorway, grinning broadly.

  ‘Jean. I was looking for you, darling.’ He took the tray from her hands. ‘I thought we could go for a walk, if the girls don’t mind my spiriting you away for an hour or two.’ He shot a pleading look in Poppy’s direction. ‘I hear that you’re in charge of things now, Miss Brown. May I have permission to take one of your staff away from her duties for a while?’

  Poppy screwed up a napkin and lobbed it at him. ‘Trust you to make a joke of it. I’m not in charge of anything.’

  ‘Well, whatever you like to call it, I’m glad you’re staying here,’ Algy said seriously. ‘You’re a great girl, Poppy. You were too good for that chap you were out with in London. Ouch.’ He turned to Jean, who had elbowed him in the ribs. ‘What was that for?’

  ‘Shut up,’ she said, frowning. ‘Put the tray down and come away before you put your foot in it for a second time.’ She bent down to drop a kiss on Rupert’s blond curls. ‘Stay with Poppy, sweetheart. Auntie Jean will come and play with you later on.’

  Algy replaced the tray on the table with an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out like that. All I meant to say was …’

  ‘Tact was never your strong point, darling.’ Jean linked her hand through his arm and dragged him out of the room.

  ‘He didn’t mean anything by that,’ Mavis said hastily. ‘Trust Algy to say the wrong thing.’

  Poppy shook her head. ‘No, he’s right. Dennis isn’t for me.’

  ‘You’re too young to get serious anyway. There are plenty more fish in the sea.’

  ‘He wanted to marry me, but I refused.’

  Mavis’s eyes opened wide. ‘Did you really?’

  ‘Even if I wanted to get married, which I don’t, I’d found something out about myself, Mavis. It was an awful shock and I’m still trying to work it out.’

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

  ‘I think so, but do you mind if I wait until we’re all together this evening? It’s not an easy thing to tell anyone.’

  Mavis picked up a pile of dirty plates. ‘Looks like I’ll have to be patient, doesn’t it?’

  The warm chocolatey scent of cocoa filled the girls’ sleeping quarters above the stable block. Poppy sat cross-legged on a cushion at the foot of Jean’s bed, waiting for the full impact of her news to sink in. She gazed over the rim of her cup at their astounded faces.

  After a moment of stunned silence, Jean was the first to speak. ‘So you’re related to royalty? I always knew you were different from the rest of us, Pops.’

  ‘They’re not royalty. Their family home was burnt to a cinder and as far as I can gather they lost all their money, but I doubt if the Beecham family would want to be associated with the illegitimate daughter of a servant.’

  ‘But Harry Beecham is still alive, isn’t he?’ Edie lit a roll-up cigarette. ‘He’s entitled to know he has a kid.’

  ‘The vicar I met in Epping told me that Harry joined the army years ago. Finding out about me might be a terrible shock. He could deny the whole thing and there’s no way of proving it either way.’

  ‘There are blood tests,’ Mavis said seriously.

  Poppy shook her head. ‘This is getting silly. I’m never likely to meet Harry Beecham so it’s not going to happen. I don’t even know what regiment he’s in.’

  ‘Yes, you do,’ Jean said eagerly. ‘Your father was his uncle’s batman, you said so, and he was in the London Rifle Brigade. So that’s where you’d find Harry Beecham.’

  ‘I’m not sure I want to meet him. It might be an awful disappointment to both of us, and if he didn’t want anything to do with me, that would be even worse.’

  Jean slid off her bed to give Poppy a hug. ‘Darling, he’d love you. You’re a poppet.’

  ‘A real honey,’ Mavis added, smiling.

  ‘Oh shucks!’ Edie drawled. ‘You don’t have to talk the lingo, Mavis. We all know you’re stepping out with Yankee Doodle Dandy.’

  Mavis lobbed a pillow at Edie’s head. ‘Shut up. Don’t make fun of Lester, he’s lovely.’

  ‘You’re just jealous, Edie, because Farmer Giles doesn’t give you nylons and chocolate.’ Jean heaved herself back onto her bed, stretching out her long legs. ‘You’re nearest the stove, Edie. Is there any cocoa left in the saucepan?’

  ‘Get up and see for yourself,’ Edie retorted crossly. ‘And for your information, Mavis, Howard is very generous, and he treats me like a lady.’

  ‘He’s got it wrong there then,’ Mavis giggled, dodging the pillow that Edie tossed back at her. ‘Anyway, this doesn’t solve Poppy’s problem. What are you going to do, love?’

  Poppy scrambled to her feet. ‘Right now I’m going back to the house to check on Mrs Carroll and see if she’s ready for bed.’

  ‘Can’t Mrs P do that?’ Jean protested. ‘It’s her mother who’s sick after all, not yours.’

  ‘I know, but Pamela will want to spend her last evening with Hector before he returns to London, and Mrs Carroll doesn’t play me up. She doesn’t dare because I won’t let her bully me, and Pamela gives in to her all the time.’

  ‘The tables are turned,’ Jean said with a wise nod.

  ‘Serves the old bitch right if you ask me.’ Edie stubbed her cigarette out in a saucer. ‘I’m going to make some more cocoa. At least milk isn’t in short supply if you happen to do the milking. There have to be some perks to the job to make up for the fact that we live like pigs and work like donkeys.’

  ‘Speak for yourself,’ Mavis said, picking up a hairbrush and shaking her long sun-streaked brown hair free from its snood. ‘Goodnight, Poppy. Don’t think you’ve heard the last of this, though. We’ll find your dad for you if we have to go to Monty himself.’

  ‘Night, night, girls.’ Leaving them to their precious rest time, Poppy climbed down the ladder into the tack room. She let herself out into the cool May evening, inhaling the familiar smells of the stable yard mixed with the scent of May blossom and the purple lilac tree just beyond the brick wall. It was dusk and the clear sky was a luminous shade of duck-egg blue tinged with palest orange at the horizon. Bats fluttered erratically overhead and a cool breeze fanned her hot cheeks.

  ‘Poppy.’

  She turned with a start at the sound of Guy’s voice. He emerged from Goliath’s stable with a rueful grin. ‘Sorry if I scared you. I was just saying goodbye to the old chap.’

  She was suddenly breathless, as though she had been running. ‘When are you leaving?’ Her voice shook despite her attempt to sound casual. No matter how much she might pretend that he was returning to a safe desk job, she knew in her heart that this could very well be the last time she saw him.

  ‘Jackson’s driving Algy and me to the station first thing.’r />
  ‘What time do you want breakfast? I’m always up early.’

  ‘You don’t have to wait on me, Poppy.’

  ‘But you and Algy will have a long journey ahead of you. You won’t be able to get anything on the train.’

  ‘You’re always looking after other people, aren’t you? And I know I’ve taken advantage of your good nature, but I’ve asked Pam to make sure you’re paid a decent salary.’

  His rueful smile made her heart ache. She knew how much he had loved his father even though there had never been any outward display of affection between them. She sensed his deep distress now and she longed to give him a hug, just as she might have done to Rupert when he was unhappy. She laid her hand on his sleeve. ‘It’s all right, Guy. You’re not imposing on me; I want to stay here and help. There is a war on, you know,’ she added with an attempt at a grin. If she stopped smiling she knew she would cry.

  The air around them was silent and still and his face was in shadow, but she felt the muscles in his lower arm tense. ‘Poppy, I …’ He broke off, moving his arm gently from her grasp. ‘Never mind.’ He leaned over and brushed her cheek with a whisper of a kiss. ‘Take care of yourself, Poppy.’

  ‘You too, Guy.’ She knew now what girls in the films meant when they said, ‘I’ll never wash that cheek again.’ It was corny and trite but that brief, sexless caress, such as might have been bestowed upon a much-loved child, meant more to her than all Dennis’s passionate kisses. She wanted to fling her arms around him and feel his lips on hers, but she knew she was blushing like a schoolgirl. Scarlett O’Hara would have known what to do. She would have turned the situation to her own advantage, but this was life and they were not actors in a movie. ‘I’ll say goodnight then, Guy. See you in the morning.’

  She was about to walk away but he caught her by the hand. ‘Don’t get up early on my account, Poppy. I hate goodbyes; it just makes leaving home all the more painful.’ He closed the stable door. ‘You’ll look after Goliath for me, won’t you?’

  ‘Of course I will.’ She started off towards the house. She wanted him to follow her but she hoped that he would not. The sound of his footsteps hastening over the cobblestones was pleasure and at the same time pain.