by Walsh, Chloe
I couldn’t fucking breathe.
Did she do it? Was Rachel capable of such a fucking thing?
I didn’t know. I really didn’t.
CHAPTER TEN
Lee
We said goodbyes to Bruno, on a Sunday morning in May, scattering his ashes in Chautauqua Park as the watery sun shone down on us.
Some people might think of it as a ridiculous gesture, but that just showed what they knew.
Bruno had been my best friend, and I’d loved him, and would miss him always.
He’d protected me from a rapist, kept me company when I was a lonely, scared, little girl, and had given me almost thirteen years of unconditional love and loyalty.
There weren’t many human relationships you could say that about.
All three of my roommates, came to the park to silently say farewell, and pay their respects.
None of us spoke.
I stood with Cam,
Derek stood with Kyle.
The cops hadn’t charged Rachel, because of lack of evidence.
But I knew she did it.
I knew.
*****
“You’re moving out?” I gasped, as I watched from the doorway as Cam piled her clothes and possessions into bags.
“Yeah,” she said, sighing. “It’s time for me to go, Lee,” she said in a shaky voice. “I’m graduating next week, and since the breakup, I don’t…I can’t. I just can’t, you know?”
Sadly, I did know.
I completely understood what she meant, and how she felt.
Cam and Derek hadn’t spoken since their breakup, not a word. He was completely torn up about it.
They tolerated being in the same room as each other, but after a month of tension and unhappiness, I could understand why Cam couldn’t stay here.
“Where will you go?” I asked quietly. “Have you somewhere to go?”
“I have a friend who will put me up for a while,” she replied.
“I’m going to miss you, Cam,” I muttered.
Cam stopped packing and came towards me.
Wrapping me in a massive hug, she squeezed me tightly.
“I love you,” she whispered. “And I am so terribly sorry for how I have treated you, these past few months. I’ve been a terrible friend to you, but I promise, from now on, I’ll have your back.”
“You’ve always had my back, Cam,” I replied, squeezing her hard.
“Will you be okay here, with him?”
I nodded slowly. “I hope so.”
“He loves you,” she whispered.
I sighed. “He thinks he does.”
*****
Lee
I walked around aimlessly for half the day, trying to rid myself of the strange swell of guilt, loneliness and neediness inside of my heart since Bruno’s memorial.
I found myself sitting on a bench in the campus of C.U, watching Kyle as he strolled across the quad, alone, and with a deep frown creasing his forehead.
Even in my depressed state, I was aware of his beauty. He made casual, look mouthwateringly sexy.
His blue over-washed jeans, hung low on his hips, and his long-sleeved, black t-shirt clung to him, pressing against every sculpted muscle on his stomach.
When his eyes found me, his frown disappeared, replaced by a nervous smile.
He prowled towards me and I remained perched on the bench, not trusting my legs to be steady enough for walking. Kyle claimed the space between us in a few brisk strides.
“Hey, princess,” he said quietly.
Kissing my cheek, he dropped his bag on the bench and sat.
“Hey,” I mumbled awkwardly.
We hadn’t spoken since the morning we’d found out about Bruno, and I wasn’t sure what to say now.
Maybe I was a glutton for heartbreak, but I needed to speak to him. I needed to find a common ground.
My due date was in three weeks, and I was terrified. I needed…Him.
“So, what do I owe the pleasure?”
Kyle was smiling. His dimple widened in his cheek.
I shook my head, to clear my thoughts.
“I was hoping we could take a walk?” I asked, returning his smile with a small one of my own.
“Sure,” he said.
Standing, he offered me his hand. I took it.
We walked for a few minutes before he spoke.
“How has your day been?”
“Okay,” I said quietly, strolling across the quad, trying to calm my soaring heart rate, as the feel of Kyle’s hand covering mine thrilled me. “Kyle, I need to talk to you.”
Kyle tightened his hold on my hand. “I thought we were talking.”
“You know, that’s not what I mean.”
Kyle sighed, and pulled me closer to him.
“Can we pretend?” he whispered, as his hand slipped from mine, only to find my waist and squeeze me tighter. “Just for a little while, can we pretend that the past two weeks haven’t happened, and we’re deliriously happy?
“That you love me and I love you. And we are just two human beings, carefree and desperately in love with one another?”
“Kyle,” I choked out, overwhelmed by his words.
His eyes searched mine, almost pleadingly. “Please, baby, just for a little while?”
His arms came around my waist, holding me close to his body.
Against my better judgment, I nodded, and stepped closer.
Kyle smiled in relief.
Taking my hands, he placed them around his neck.
My heart thrashed against my ribs as Kyle tucked my hair behind my ears, trailing his fingertips over my cheekbone, before cupping my cheek.
“You burn me,” he whispered. “I close my eyes you’re there. I open them you’re everywhere, surrounding me, possessing me. I scorch for you. I breathe for you. I’m drowning so deep in you, that I never want to come up for air.”
“Kyle, I…”
“I can’t cope with the thought of losing you…I can’t, baby, it makes my chest squeeze so fucking tight, I can’t breathe.”
Kissing my neck, my jaw, my cheek, he whispered, “Let me back in. Let me love you and I will, forever.”
I was drowning in his words, suffocating in the ecstasy of his presence.
“I love you,” I breathed, as I claimed his mouth.
“I love you so much,” I said against his lips, before his tongue slipped inside. “I’ve missed you so much.”
My tears soaked both our cheeks as we clung to each other.
“Don’t leave me again,” he murmured against my lips. “I won’t survive you twice.”
I shook my head. “I won’t, I’m yours.”
My hands tangled in his hair, he melded my body to his. “You own me.”
This was the most exposing, intimate, tender moment, Kyle and I had ever shared, as we claimed one another, possessed each other, reveled in our insecurities and soared.
I wasn’t playing pretend, anymore.
I meant every word.
“Get your hands off him, you whore. I know what you’re doing, trying to pass that the kid off as his, when everyone knows you’ve been fucking his brother.”
My blood ran cold.
Panting, I tore my mouth away from Kyle’s and glared at the evil, bitch troll, who was standing a couple of feet away from us.
I was about to respond, but Kyle beat me to it.
“Rachel,” Kyle sighed, pulling me close to his chest, as if to shield me from his ex-girlfriend. “For the love of god, can you please, just leave us alone?”
“I’m not giving up on you,” Rachel shot back, eyes glued on Kyle. “I love you, she doesn’t. She doesn’t love you like I do. No one does. Just me. Just me. I do, I do, Kyle. It’s me, just me.”
Rachel launched herself at Kyle, shoving me away from him.
“Please,” she cried, tugging at his arm, running her hands all over him. “Take me back. Take me back or I’ll die. I will die if you don’t forgive me.”
“Kyle,” I whispered.
He didn’t hear me.
His focus was completely on Rachel, who was clinging to him like a baby monkey, and raving like a lunatic. “Me, me, me, not her.”
“Kyle,” I shouted louder.
Nothing.
I couldn’t look at this for one more second.
This was everything I’d been afraid would happen. My worst nightmare was coming true.
Unable to stomach the sight of Kyle, comforting Rachel, I turned around and rushed away on shaken legs.
*****
Kyle
“I need an ambulance, C.U campus,” I demanded before hanging up, and slipping my phone into my pocket.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel cried pitifully.
Dropping to her knees, she hugged my leg. “I love you, that’s why I did it. She doesn’t love you. She is a bad person. She wants to take you away from me. But she won’t. You won’t let that happen, will you?”
Rachel’s body shook violently and I had no idea of what to do.
Going against every instinct in my body, I stroked Rachel’s hair.
“Shh, it’s okay,” I soothed. “You’ll be okay. I’m gonna get you some help. Real soon.”
I hoped the ambulance would hurry the fuck up.
Or campus security, where the hell were those guys when you needed them?
There was a crowd gathering around us, and even though I couldn’t stand Rachel, I didn’t want this for her.
She was sick, not a fucking spectacle.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” I snarled, which caused a few bodies to scamper.
Tugging off my t-shirt, I slipped it over Rachel’s head, and then put her arms through the sleeves.
“Is she gone?” Rachel howled, shaking her head viciously. “She has to go. She has to leave. She has to disappear.”
“She’s gone,” I soothed, crouching down beside her.
I couldn’t blame Lee for running off.
I’d deal with her later. I couldn’t think about her right now…
I heard the sound of a siren blaring, moments before an ambulance pulled up next to us.
Rachel scrambled into my lap, clinging to me. “They want to keep us apart, but they can’t. Nothing can keep us apart.”
I kept my arm around her shoulder, and my eyes on the paramedic rushing towards us.
“Shh,” I whispered, praying to god they’d hurry the hell up.
“Come on, sweetheart,” one of the paramedic’s said, wrapping a brown blanket around Rachel’s shoulders.
“Tell them Kyle,” she begged. “Tell them we belong together.”
“We belong together,” I said in a coaxing voice as I peeled her arms away from me, and pushed her into the arms of the medic.
They bundled Rachel into the ambulance, and I staggered away, unable to watch, or listen to the feral screams coming from her throat.
*****
“Open the door, Lee,” I asked for the fifth time, in a matter of minutes.
Banging louder, I tried the door handle, even though I knew it was locked.
“Lee, please, open this door.”
Leaning against her bedroom door, I allowed myself to sink to the floor.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Lee
Mike and Cam?
I couldn’t believe it.
I didn’t believe it.
I had come straight to Mike’s apartment, from the CU campus.
And I couldn’t freaking believe what my eyes were seeing.
“What the hell is going on?” I demanded, as I stood in the doorway of Mike’s apartment.
Cam stood inside the door, wrapped in a towel.
Mike stood behind her, clad in a pair of boxer shorts.
I really didn’t know why I was asking that question.
It was obvious from their guilty faces, and near naked bodies, exactly, what was going on…which stemmed my next question.
“Let me rephrase my question to- how long has this been going on?”
Cam shuddered, tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Lee…”
“How long?” I demanded. “Is this a new thing, or…”
My words trailed off as my brain put the pieces together.
“Oh my god,” I gasped in disgust, realization dawning on me. “That’s why were so horrible to me for being friends with Mike,” I said, disgusted. “You were jealous.”
“Lee,” Mike said, but I waved a hand at him.
“Tell me one thing,” I asked Cam. “How many months have you been cheating on Derek, and lying to all of us?”
“It wasn’t like that,” Mike added defensively. “We’re in love. We love each other, Lee...”
“How long, Camryn?” I urged.
“Since January,” she whispered, lowering her eyes. “It just happened. One night, after visiting you, we went to a bar, had too much to drink…and then things just happened. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, especially Derek. But I fell in love him and I can’t change the way I feel..”
“Well,” I said stiffly. “I guess I know one thing.” I glared at Mike as I spoke. “Kyle was dead right about you.”
*****
Kyle was leaning against my bedroom door when I got home.
“Baby,” he whispered standing up.
“Don’t,” I warned.
Stepping around him, I walked inside and slammed my door.
I started pulling my clothes out of my wardrobe quickly and packing them in my duffel bag.
When I first escaped my life in Louisiana, I didn’t think there could be any reason, or force on this earth, that would send me home to my daddy.
I obviously hadn’t added Kyle Carter, into that equation.
My door flew open, and Kyle stormed in.
I ignored him and continued packing.
I was so done. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t. I’d had enough of Rachel. I’d had enough of it all.
“What are you doing?” he asked, reaching out to touch me.
I was having none of it.
“Don’t touch me.”
He balled his fists, his body shuddered. “Why are you doing this to me? You know I love you.”
“Just not enough,” I sneered, grabbing my underwear out of a drawer and tossing it in a bag. “Not enough to walk away from her.”
She was the crux of all our problems. Rachel would always find a way to get in between us.
He lowered his head. “You don’t get it, baby, Rachel is sick. She is having some kind of a breakdown.”
“Oh, I get it, Kyle,” I screamed. “I get that you have an irrational need to protect that girl. Maybe it’s because you think you owe her, but I can clearly see it’s because you love her. You’re so consumed in her.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he demanded, grabbing my arms, forcing me to look at him. “I love you, you idiot. I’m in love with YOU.”
“I don’t want to see you again,” I sobbed, delirious with emotional grief. “I am better off without all of you, than just a piece of you. I do not want to be anybody’s second best. I’d rather do this alone.”
He gripped my arm. “Lee, you don’t mean that.”
I pulled away from him. “No, Kyle, I really think I do. I cannot live like this anymore.”
I couldn’t live with the lies, or the constant worrying.
“So, what are you saying?” he demanded, his voice cracking. “You don’t love me anymore? You’re going to let Rachel break us apart again?”
“I’m saying that I am going home.”
Kyle looked at me confused. “What are you talking about? You live here.”
“I’m going home, Kyle, to Louisiana. I’m going home to my daddy.”
“Is that some kind of joke?” he demanded, eyes locked on mine. “Is that some kind of sick, fucking joke?”
I shook my head, as Kyle s
tared at me, seemingly frozen.
Finally, he moved, shaking his head. “No, you’re fucking not.”
“Oh, yes, I am. Now leave me alone.”
“There is no fucking way, you are going back there so he can use you as a punching bag,” he snarled, unzipping my bags and tipping my clothes out on the floor.
“You can’t stop me,” I screamed, as I rushed out of the room.
Screw my clothes. I was getting the hell out of here.
I bounded down the stairs and reached the front door, when he pulled me back, hard.
“You’re not taking my kid away from me. You’re not taking you away from me. Don’t even think about it. It’s not happening.”
“Well, I’m going,” I growled, opening the door. “And considering our baby is still growing inside of me, I most definitely am, taking him with me.”
He pulled me harder. “Lee, I’m warning you…”
“Don’t you dare threaten me, Kyle Carter. You have no right. Go find your crazy bitch of a girlfriend. I’m going.”
I pulled from his grasp and ran.
He shouted at me as he chased me down the street. “Lee, Get your ass back here.”
“Let me go,” I screamed, when he caught up with me.
Kyle wrapped his arms around my back and held me. “No, I love you too much, to let you go. You need to calm down. I’m fucking innocent. The only thing I’m guilty of, is showing compassion to a sick woman, phoning an ambulance for her and waiting for it arrive. That’s it.”
“She killed Bruno…Your wallet…Uh, I don’t want to go through this anymore,” I screamed. “I don’t want this life with you.”
I heard him gasp, and he released me.
“Take it,” I heard him cry and I turned around.
Kyle was on his knees in front of me, tears flooding down his face as he dropped his shirt at my feet.
“Take everything I have,” he cried, as he emptied his pockets. “That’s what will happen to me if you leave me, you’ll take away everything.”