by Luna Pierce
Hands, from all directions, grabbing at my body. Watchful stares, so terrified and relieved, soaking into me.
Deghan, his shaky arms wrapped around my torso, his face pressed against my side.
Cameron, with his pleading and watery eyes, clutching at his chest.
Sydney, panting, so out of breath, his brow furrowed in disbelief, his hands falling, like he was doing some kind of spell.
Silas, complete terror resolving into liberation.
“I’m here.” My voice cracks.
“You… you died.” Deghan doesn’t let go, only holds me tighter.
I meet Silas’s gaze, and the shock on his face breaks me. I reach out my hand to him, dragging him down and onto the bed.
Sydney clears his throat. “Your heart, it stopped beating.”
“I’m alive.” I reach for one hand at a time, laying them on my chest, letting them each feel my beating heart. “See.”
“What happened?” Cameron finally asks. “Where did you go?”
“I knew the only way to get rid of the thing in my head was to go in and defeat it myself. I couldn’t just will it away, so I had to take a more direct approach. I don’t really know how I knew, or how I did it, but I went inside my mind and I battled it.” I process the very strange memory. “I needed help, and I asked for it… a sword appeared, brandished with your magic,” I nod to Sydney, “and yours,” I tap Deghan’s shoulder, “and yours,” I squeeze Silas’s hand.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t help,” Cameron says with such a sense of sadness.
I shake my head. “You’re always with me, right here.” I press my hand to my heart.
“I’ve… Willow, I’ve never seen anything like that in all my experience of being a witch. I’ve never so much as heard of what you did.” Sydney frantically tries to make sense of the situation. “How did you defeat him?”
I peek at Silas out of the corner of my eye. “I put up a block which stopped allowing him to weaken my defenses. We went back and forth for a while, exchanging blows. He landed a few solid hits.” I reach down to my thigh, the phantom ache remaining on my uninjured leg. “And after a fierce battle, I stabbed him through the heart with one of his own daggers. Then I unspelled the door and…” The rest is a mystery, one where apparently, I died and was pushed back to life by the angels. Or maybe that was only a dream.
Deghan moves, staring at me with those golden eyes of his. “The voice is gone now?”
I breathe in, relishing in the total clearness of my mind. “Yeah.”
And damn, that’s a good revelation, to completely be free of those horrible thoughts. The ones I created, and the demon took advantage of. My innermost vulnerabilities and insecurities, massively dramatized and used against me to weaken my mind and allow that filth to get the upper hand. We all have things that worry us, but they should never take such precedence and cripple us from living to our fullest potential. How pathetic that this curse has to go through such lengths to try to steal my magic.
“What do you need?” Cam asks, clearly wanting to be of some assistance. “Are you hungry, thirsty, tired? Name it, and I’ll get whatever you want.”
“Weren’t you making lunch?” How long have I been out?
“Yeah, until you locked yourself in here. Then it pretty much became this chaos of trying to get in. I can go finish, but promise me you won’t do that again.” His eyes are pleading.
“I promise.” And I really mean it.
“You want to come?” Cam pokes Deghan on the shoulder.
Deghan sighs heavily, his arms not wanting to let me free. “Pinky promise?”
I wiggle a hand free, locking my little finger into his. “I’ll be right here when you get back.”
The two slowly leave the room, and once they’re gone, an overwhelming exhaustion hits me full force. I struggle to keep my eyes open despite the sting and end up leaning into Silas’s strong body.
“I guess this means you can use the stone whenever you’re ready. I didn’t anticipate you to act so quickly on uncompromising your mind.” Sydney maintains his distance at the foot of the bed.
The fracture between us not seeming to ease.
“Could we have a moment alone?” Silas speaks up, stiff and firm, dominant.
Sydney nods. “Of course.” He moves immediately, not hesitating to exit the room.
“Syd,” I call out.
He stops but doesn’t turn around.
“Come back in a few minutes and eat with us. Please.”
“It’s okay,” is all he says. He finishes his exit, taking a part of me with him.
The room grows quiet until Silas speaks.
“You scared the shit out of me. I… I felt you die. I could tell the second you slipped away, and in all the deaths I’ve experienced, none of them compare to that. It was something I can’t describe. This venomous pit opening up inside me, seeping into every inch of my body. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nothing.”
“I’m sorry.” The one thing I keep finding myself saying to those I care about. I grip his face in my hands. “I’m here now. I’m safe. Safer than I was hours ago.”
His gaze latches on to mine. “I can’t live in a world without you.”
“You don’t have to.” I bring my face to his, but he stops me.
“I’m serious, Willow. I won’t do it.”
The meaning behind his words clicks into place. “Silas…”
“I’ve lived long enough to be certain that I refuse to do it deprived of you again.”
I move, and this time there are no restrictions, my lips landing on his, fighting for their perfect home. I breathe him in, desperate for him to see that I don’t want things any other way.
A heated moment passes, and he draws back. “I need you to understand that I’ll never make you choose, nor will I ever expect that. It wouldn’t be fair to you. I’ve lived over a hundred years and I’ve never felt more alive than I do with you. I won’t risk losing you over something so meaningless as jealousy. All I care is that you’re happy and you’re safe.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “And that you’re loved… unconditionally.”
My cheeks redden and turn upward. Is he confessing that he loves me? What is this warm and flowy presence simmering up and out of him and into me? The connection we share is intense and only continues to grow stronger with each passing day.
The sturdy dorm door barrels open, and Deghan and Cameron walk in, arms full.
“Oh shit,” Deghan blurts out. “We totally interrupted a moment.” He stops in his tracks, taking a gradual step back in his dramatic fashion like he’s pressed rewind.
“Don’t you dare leave!” I command. “I’m starving.”
He grins from ear to ear and moves forward, approaching the bed with bags of heavenly smelling food.
Angels.
“What’s wrong? I thought you loved mac and cheese?” Cam startles me from my thought.
I force a smile, but not without Silas catching on to my weirdness. “Um, I do. Gimme.” I seize a fork from the pile on the bed and take the bowl of steaming deliciousness I’m handed.
“And your protein…” Cam sets a pile of chicken tenders on a plate in front of me then goes back to pour some sauce into a tiny bowl. “Try this and tell me what you think.”
Still chomping away at the mac, I secure a tender and dip it into the creation. Once my mouth is cleared enough to not be a disgusting pig, I say, “Holy shit, did you make this yourself?”
Deghan smacks Cameron. “See, I told you it was good.”
I smother another piece with sauce and hold it up to Silas. “Try this.”
He takes the bite straight from my hand, something so seductive about it, especially the way his gaze penetrates mine. What I wouldn’t give for a long moment alone with him. But maybe once I’ve taken a big fucking nap. I’m exhausted, and this food is going to send me into a coma.
The only thing missing is Sydney.
Although I’m wi
ckedly tired, I take a plate, scooping all the fixings on.
Deghan’s eyes go wide. “Are you about to out-eat me for a change?”
I laugh. “That would be impossible, you famished wolf.” Standing, I tell the guys, “I’ll be right back.”
All of them tense, and I have to remind them that I’m free, the demon is gone, and for now, nothing else has come crashing down on me.
“Five minutes, that’s it. Then I come looking for you.” Silas wipes at his mouth with a napkin.
Seeing him so willingly staying behind with Cameron and Deghan warms my heart.
I wander down the hallway, walking along the top of the indoor garden, it never failing to amaze me at its beauty. I round the corner and enter the north wing, stopping in front of Sydney’s door.
Like he knew I was approaching, the door opens, and he appears on the other side.
“Hey,” I mutter.
He glances at the dish in my hands, then up to me. “What’s up?”
“I thought if you didn’t want to eat with us… I’d at least bring the food to you.” And see if you’re okay.
“Oh, well, thanks.” Sydney stands still.
“Can I come in?”
He nods. “Yeah, sorry.” And he steps out of the way, allowing me entry.
“Listen.” I set the food on his desk, rotating to face him. “The things I said to you at your house.”
Sydney throws up his hands. “No, it’s fine. You don’t—”
“No, I’m serious. I was confused. I misunderstood the situation, but it never gave me any right to treat you the way that I did.” I push a boundary by reaching out and touching his shoulder, unsure of how he will react. “I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am.”
His opposite hand extends and lands on mine, a calming comfort at him not pushing me away even though he should. “You really don’t have to apologize. I recognize how everything came across. I should have been smarter and never let it happen in the first place. If anything, I’m sorry. I will never forgive myself for putting you in danger like that. My parents… they’re ruthless. But I’m done with them, okay?”
How can you just be done with the people who brought you into the world?
“What do you mean done?”
He chuckles. “I mean, it was either them disowning me or me disowning them. I can’t be any part of that anymore. I refuse to have ties to them.”
“But you said family is everything to witches.” My hand still rests between his and his shoulder.
“Some things are more important than that.” His red-rimmed eyes glisten.
Maybe this is what the demon meant with his declaration that the witch would have problems soon enough. Maybe his problems will be that he’s thrown out of his coven and left all alone. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Aside from my mom, I’m a lone witch in need of others, too. There’s no reason for Sydney to be pushed to the wayside.
“You don’t have to go through this by yourself.” I pull him into a hug, sighing at how much I really did miss him.
Life is crazy and totally unpredictable, but one thing has been proven to me time and time again—if people are willing to be there with you, and stand by your side for no other reason than caring deeply, you fucking allow them.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The guys insist I take the rest of the day off, so I do exactly that.
I nap, I eat some more food prepared by Chef Cam, I nap again, until finally, I sleep so long the sun sets and then rises.
I wake feeling like a renewed woman, getting the rest I needed without that stupid voice provoking me time and time again. It had got to the point in the last couple weeks where my dreams weren’t safe. They were muddied with horrible visions of killing Silas, the girls refusing to forgive me, and the worst of all, finding my mom, but only too late—her lifeless corpse eating away at my soul.
Which brings me to my task for the day.
Figuring out how the hell to use this magical reperio stone to locate my mother.
“We have to do it in a controlled environment,” Sydney says. “Meaning… we’re going to have to tell Walker what’s going on.”
“How exactly do you propose we do that? Isn’t he going to ask where the stone came from?” And why have we chosen to not acknowledge it until now?
“I thought about telling him that my mom had brought me a bag of crystals to identify on family day. And I’ve only recently discovered what it was.”
“Do you think he’ll buy that?” I ask, not feeling totally confident in his cover story.
“Probably not.” Sydney scratches his chin. “I could say it was in a box of stuff I packed from my house when I moved in.”
“Or we could tell him the truth.” I tilt my head and throw my arms up.
“If you’re okay with him kicking me out of the school for lying to his face, then by all means, yeah.” Silas brings up a good point.
“True. Let’s not do that.” I lean into him and stare across the room at Sydney, perched on top of one of the spare beds in my room, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands.
“We need as few people as possible, too. Not all of us will be able to come, and I’m assuming Walker is going to want him or Abigail to supervise. So, with you, one of them, and me, we’re pushing it.” Sydney avoids Silas’s glaring stare.
“Nope, no way in hell.” Silas tenses.
I place my hand on his thigh, and like he knows what I’m up to, he pushes me away.
He moves abruptly. “You better not put that calming juju into me right now.”
I recoil. “Sorry, I thought you could think more clearly without your heightened emotions.”
He turns his attention to Sydney. “I’m not leaving her side. She may have forgiven you, but I haven’t.”
“Fair enough. I don’t blame you.” Sydney takes a sip of his drink.
Deghan and Cam enter the room, always together, always super cute.
“We come bearing gifts.” Cam holds out his hands. “Or food, whatever. Who doesn’t love food?” He laughs, and it’s no wonder Deghan loves spending his free time with him.
Bringing a small table from the corner, Deghan places it near Cam, then helps him unload the bags of yummy offerings.
“If anything, we won’t starve with you around.” I wink at Cam, and he winks back.
We all get plates, scooping up scrambled eggs and sausage—pancakes, too. It’s warm and decadent and freaking wonderful.
“What did you guys decide?” Deghan shoves a forkful of pancake in his mouth.
“Sydney said I have to limit who comes with… it’s a safety thing, because the stone is so unstable.” I take a bite of eggs, letting them melt in my mouth. “Uh, this is so good. You have to open up your own place. Seriously. I’m demanding it.”
Cam grins. “Okay, okay.”
Deghan looks exaggeratedly hurt. “Willow says so and now you’re on board? I’ve been telling you for months.”
Shrugging, Cameron says, “You eat everything, though.”
Their banter is entirely precious.
Having a full belly and being surrounded by great people really does a number on the immense worrisome nerves that arise when facing the scary unknown.
But only so much.
And each step closer to the random building not too far hidden in the forest behind the school only rattles me that much more.
Abigail leads the way, Sydney at her side. The two of them quietly chatter back and forth.
Silas’s hand is gently resting on my lower back, guiding me forward.
We arrive at the location. A small structure, about the size of Silas’s cabin, is tucked between rows of trees. It’s old but well-kept.
“This is witch territory,” Silas whispers in my ear. “Sacred ground. I shouldn’t be here.”
I scan his face. “I need you.”
“I said shouldn’t, not that I wouldn’t,” he confirms.
I step inside, and the stale air assaults
me.
Sydney draws something from his pocket, lighting it with a match. He catches my watchful gaze and says, “Sage. Should clear up that musky smell. This place usually sits empty for a while.”
Abigail walks to a long table adorned with various objects—different-sized cauldrons and goblets, wooden shafts, quarter-sized pressed pentacles, a rather elegant white-handled knife. She lights a candle, then a few more, setting them around the cluttered space.
Sydney extends his hand to Silas. “The reperio stone, please?”
Silas sighs, digging it out and handing it to him.
“Willow, this is a fairly simple but powerful procedure. All you’re going to need to do is prick a finger, focus on the person you’re trying to locate, and open yourself to what the stone offers you. It will connect to you and then track the other person. You have to keep a clear head, though. You can do that, right?” Sydney offers me the shiny red rock.
“Yeah.”
“Abigail and I are going to stand at opposite ends of you, creating a barrier around the ritual. Silas,” he points to him, “you’ll need to stay over there.”
I follow his line of sight to near the door. I swallow down the strange loneliness that creeps in at their small distances.
Silas reels me in, holding me close, cupping my face in his hands, staring into my eyes. “You’re going to do fine. I’m here with you.” He kisses my forehead, lingering his lips against my skin for a hesitant moment. His breath a warming comfort. “Now, find your mom.” Silas takes up his perch in the spot Sydney ordered.
Abigail finds her place to my left, tying her flowing auburn hair into a low ponytail and then shaking her hands, like she’s stretching and loosening her wrists.
Sydney goes to my right, nodding and taking his stance. He holds his palms out. A green crackling flows through the air, connecting to the wine-colored magic coming from Abigail.
I glance over my shoulder.
Silas mouths, “You got this.”
Scanning the contents for what I need, I spot a knife. I take it into my free hand, hovering it above the nearest candle flame until it glows hot. I clench the stone with my thumb and bottom fingers, and prick my index finger enough to get the blood I need. I set the knife carefully on the table and push my trickling digit onto the center of the stone.