by Claire Adams
When I got to the dining room, Lexi and Emma were already there, chatting away with Janice, who had joined them with a cup of coffee.
“I used to not like 'nanas, but then we went to the zoo with Aunt Misty, and we saw these monkeys, and they were eating 'nanas, too, and Aunt Misty bought one, and I was s'posed to throw it to the monkeys, but I eated it, and it was good!” Emma was babbling as I came into the room.
I paused for a moment, watching the three of them. It was the perfect scene of domesticity and somewhat unnerving to walk into. It almost felt as though I'd suddenly found myself on the set of some play or in someone else's house. And yet, this was my dining room, that was my maid, and this was, well, my one-night stand and my daughter.
I took a deep breath, forcing a smile onto my face, and went to take a seat at the table.
Janice jumped up. “I've got a plate all ready for you, and a cup of coffee, too, just the way you like it,” she told me. “Let me just grab it from the kitchen. I left it there to keep it warm.”
“Thank you, Janice,” I told her, shaking out my napkin and putting it in my lap.
“G'morning, Mr. Goldwright,” Emma said to me, her face scrunched up like she had to think really hard about the greeting.
I chuckled a little. Whatever my feelings were toward her being my daughter, she was adorable. “Good morning, Miss Emma,” I said to her. “How are you today?”
“Good!” she chirped. “I sleeped the whole night.”
“You did?” I asked, glancing towards Lexi, who beamed at her daughter.
She looked a lot less exhausted than she had when she'd arrived the previous day, clearly having had a good night's sleep as well. I wondered how long it had been since she'd been able to let go of her worries and sleep soundly for a night. Too long, from the looks of things.
“Thank you again for letting us stay here,” Lexi said quietly.
“It's not forever,” I said, taking a sip of the coffee that Janice set down in front of me.
“I know that,” Lexi said defensively.
“I have a business trip coming up in about a week,” I told her. “I don't want to even begin dealing with this situation until I get back from that. There's a lot of work that I need to do in the lead-up to the trip. We're hoping to expand Orinoco to a couple offices in Europe, and that takes careful planning and brand management. So, you won't be seeing me around here that much.”
“Okay,” Lexi said.
“When I get back from that trip, when everything has calmed down somewhat, we'll sort out another place for the two of you to live. I have some connections that could be useful. We'll get you a good place downtown where you won't have to worry about commuting to work. And Emma could go to a great daycare.”
“I hope you're planning on paying for all of that, because I certainly won't be able to, even if I get hired on to something today!” Lexi said.
I rolled my eyes. “Of course, I'll be paying for that, since you have apparently let your life descend into absolute chaos,” I said to her.
“Sorry, we couldn't all be handed a flourishing company and a trust fund when we came of age,” Lexi said sarcastically. “Don't get me wrong, I know that Orinoco has flourished with you at its helm, but most of what you've got, you got because of luck. Don't try to pretend that you're any better than me.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “I think I'm being more than generous to you, especially given that you showed up totally out of the blue. If you don't want to be here, enjoying the benefits of that trust fund and that flourishing company, you can always leave. Although, I don't know where you would go. But if you are going to stay here with me, I'd prefer that you be a bit more civil. This is, after all, my home.”
Lexi snorted. “You've been more than generous to me?” she asked.
“I've just offered to put you up in an apartment downtown, a nicer place than you could probably ever hope to afford, and I've offered to put Emma into one of the best daycares in the city. In the meantime, before we can get you settled there, I've offered to let you have the run of the house, up to and including the services of my maid, who has agreed to look after Emma while you're busy finding work. What part of that doesn't strike you as generosity?”
“That's not generosity,” Lexi said heatedly. “That's your responsibility. Given that, oh yeah, Emma is—” She broke off sharply, glancing over at the child, but those unspoken words hung in the air between us. Given that Emma is your daughter.
Lexi took a deep breath and let it out slowly, visibly trying to compose herself. Emma was looking back and forth between us, clearly uncertain, and I wondered where Janice had disappeared to. Lexi didn't want to bicker in front of the child, and I had a grudging respect for that resolve. I knew a lot of parents who didn't care what their kids overheard, and I'd always hated that method of parenting.
There might be no love between Lexi and me, but for Emma's sake, we had to at least pretend to get along.
Unfortunately, I wasn't sure how much getting along I could do right then, not when Lexi was insisting on being so rude to me, right there at my own breakfast table. I had a few choice words for her regarding responsibility as well. Regarding her responsibilities to Emma.
But I bit them back and stood up instead, grabbing my jacket off the back of my chair and shrugging into it.
“You've hardly eaten your breakfast,” Lexi protested, and at that moment, for the briefest second, it was as though she put aside all her other feelings towards me and was strictly focused on my well-being. I filed that away for later consideration.
For now, I just grunted. “I'll grab a bagel to take with me or something,” I said when Lexi looked like she was going to protest again.
Lexi ducked her head, pushing her eggs around on her plate. “Thank you for letting us stay here,” she said again, her voice barely audible.
I nodded curtly at her and strode quickly from the room, forgetting in my haste to even say goodbye to Emma. I wasn't entirely sure why that bothered me so much, but it was all I could think about during my whole drive to work.
Fortunately, once I arrived at the office, the usual chaos, compounded by the potential expansion, was there to greet me, and I didn't have a spare moment to think of anything else.
Chapter Thirteen
Lexi
I smiled over at Emma as we colored side-by-side in one of the books that Janice had bought for the girl. “That's a very pretty flower,” I said to Emma, pointing to the smear of red that she was coloring.
Emma shrieked with laughter. “Mama, it's not a flower,” she said. “It's an apple.”
“Sorry, pumpkin,” I told her. “You're right, of course it's an apple.” I hid my grin, coloring in the sun that she had imperiously told me to color in bright pink.
I still felt a little uneasy about this whole thing, especially the idea that Andrew wanted to keep tabs on my job search. I'd already applied to fifteen jobs that morning, but I still felt guilty taking a one-hour break to play with Emma. That wasn't fair. I didn't want to be one of those mothers whose kid never saw her because she was too busy with work.
For better or for worse, though, that wasn't looking like it would ever be an issue, since I'd have to get work in order for that to be the case. And that wasn't happening.
I was drawn from my gloomy turn of thoughts by the sound of my phone ringing. I rolled to my feet and grabbed it off my bedside table, quickly answering the call when I saw that it was Misty.
“Hey,” she said, sounding excited. “I take it that since you're still not here at my place, things are going well between you and Andrew?”
I glanced back at Emma and then stepped out into the hall. The chances of her overhearing something that she would understand weren't very high, but all the same, I'd rather not have this conversation in front of her. The one with Andrew at the breakfast table had been enough as it was.
“Things went well enough,” I said cautiously.
“Come on, I want mo
re information than that,” Misty said, and I could tell that she was rolling her eyes. “All you said in your message yesterday was that you guys were both exhausted and you were going to spend the night there with him. So, I guess you did that, but what happened next?”
I sighed. “I didn't want to tell you all the details in a message because I wanted to talk to you about this,” I told her. “Andrew has agreed to let Emma and I stay here. Not forever, as he's very quick to add, but at least for a couple weeks.”
“Oh, wow,” Misty said. “That's good, right?”
“I feel humiliated,” I told her. “I had to come crawling back to this guy, this guy who treated me so poorly, and beg him for a place to stay and food for my daughter.”
“It's not like he can't afford it,” Misty pointed out.
“So not the point,” I said, shaking my head. “This just isn't what I want with my life.”
“But this isn't about you, remember,” Misty said. “This is about Emma and getting Emma what she deserves. And she deserves to grow up in a nice home, with enough to eat. You may not like the current situation, but you can make it better. This is just a step towards making things better.”
“I'm trying to be positive, and I'm trying to look at things that way, but it's difficult,” I told her. “I'm also not sure what's going to happen long-term. I haven't told Emma who Andrew really is, and I don't plan to, not yet. Andrew says we can stay for a couple weeks, while he goes on a business trip, but after that, he wants us out of here. He's talking about getting us settled in a nice place in downtown and getting Emma set up at one of the best daycares in the city.”
“That all sounds great,” Misty said. “You haven't said no to him, have you? I know you have your pride, but all the same, that offer is too good to pass up.”
“I don't really know what it entails, though,” I said, feeling pained. “When I first showed up, Andrew told me that if I was just here to try to squeeze money out of him, he would tie this thing up in court for years and make sure I didn't see a cent from him. I can't afford to have that happen. What if he gets us all set up and then decides that he's spent all the money that he's willing to spend on us?”
“I highly doubt he'd do that to you,” Misty said.
“But you don't know him,” I told her. “You know about him from the tabloids and whatever, probably more than I do. You're always good about following the gossip. But you don't actually know him.”
“You don't really know him either,” Misty pointed out. “You had one great night with him, and then you had what sounds like a lukewarm reception at his house. Which makes sense, given that you sprang a three-year-old daughter on him with no warning. But it sounds like he's trying to do the right thing here. He's at least offered you a place to stay for the time being, and then if he gets you set up in downtown, you'll have a month or maybe two months to figure out what you're going to do from there.”
“A month or two months before I have to uproot my daughter again and move her to god-knows-where,” I muttered.
“What happened to trying to be positive about things?” Misty asked, but her rebuke was teasing and good-natured.
I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. “It's just so hard to stay positive when things have been so bad for so long,” I confessed.
“But they have to turn around eventually, don't they?” Misty asked rationally. “Maybe this is the start of a string of epic good luck, to balance out all the bad luck you've had lately.”
“Maybe,” I said. “Or maybe this is just going to all blow up in my face as well.”
“Look,” Misty said, “if I were you, what I'd be thinking about right now is, you've got a shelter, and you've got food, at least for the next month or so. That gives you plenty of time to find a job and start getting back on your feet again. Even if Andrew decides to quit paying for your apartment after that, he's probably going to work out some sort of sensible and decent child support system.”
“He's got no reason to do that,” I muttered.
“He's got every reason to do that,” Misty countered. “He's a billionaire, Lexi, and that means that he is constantly being watched by members of the press. In fact, he was recently voted one of Seattle's hottest young bachelors. Now, imagine what would happen if the press were to find out that Andrew wasn't the unattached bachelor that he might appear to be. He doesn't want you to take this story to the press, and that gives you leverage against him.”
“I wouldn't want to do that to him, though,” I said. “I wouldn't want to do that to Emma, most of all.”
“Of course not,” Misty said matter-of-factly. “And I know that, and you know that. But you know what? I doubt Andrew knows that about you. He might suspect that you wouldn't go to the press, but there is still that risk there.”
“Sneaky,” I said, smiling a little, in spite of myself.
“If nothing else, Andrew is going to want to avoid looking like a jerk,” Misty said. “Trust me; he'll figure out some way to pay you a decent amount as child support.”
“I hope that's true,” I said. “But he wouldn't be the first billionaire to flat-out deny the fact that they had sired a child. Steve Jobs spent years denying that he had a daughter. He publicly challenged the DNA test that purportedly proved that she was his. How do I know that Andrew isn't going to be just another Steve Jobs?”
Misty was silent for a long moment, and my heart clenched at the possibility of that scenario happening. When she spoke again, though, her voice was strong. “You don't know if he's going to be just another Steve Jobs,” she allowed. “But Steve Jobs did, eventually, reconcile with his daughter. You want what's best for Emma, I know. But Emma's going to do just fine, with or without her father's help. And if Andrew can eventually find it in himself to be there for Emma, maybe that's all you can ask for.”
“But what do I do between now and then?” I asked exasperatedly. “Yes, Misty, it would be nice to know that he would be there for her eventually. But I need her to live long enough for that to happen, and in order for her to live long enough, I need for Andrew to not tie us up in litigation from now until eternity.”
“Maybe the opposite will be true, though,” Misty suggested. “Maybe Andrew is going to turn out to be way better than you expected. Maybe now that he knows about Emma, he'll work on getting his life together. Stop sleeping around and start taking care of you the way that he should.”
“He's apparently already stopped sleeping around,” I told her. “He has a girlfriend. His maid, Janice, doesn't seem to think much of the woman.”
“Hmm,” Misty said, considering that. “Sounds like that girlfriend is probably the reason Andrew wants you out of there so soon, then. That makes sense.”
“It does,” I sighed. “But it doesn't mean that things are going to continue to be good once Andrew moves us out of here. Out of sight and out of mind.”
“How's Emma taking to all of it, anyway?” Misty asked.
“You know her,” I said, shaking my head. “Totally unflappable. Actually, she's over the moon. Yesterday, she and Janice baked chocolate chip cookies, and today, Janice bought her a few coloring books and a new box of a hundred crayons. Did you know crayons even came in boxes of a hundred? How many different colors does a kid really need?”
“Sounds like you're a little jealous,” Misty said, and I could hear a hint of amusement in her voice. Her tone softened. “I know that you want to be able to give all of that to Emma, but for now, aren't you just happy that somehow, some way, Emma is getting to live in a nice house and eat cookies and color?”
“I am,” I sighed. “I really am. It's just difficult.”
“Maybe you should take a lesson from Emma,” Misty suggested. “Be unflappable. Settle in, even if it's not going to be forever. Try to get along with Andrew. He can't be too horrible if he fathered a girl as sweet as Emma.”
“He's just a rich jerk,” I told Misty. “These rich guys hold all the pow
er, and they know it. They don't think of anyone except themselves. From the way he talks, Andrew still doesn't think he owes anything to Emma. Or to me. Especially not to me.”
Misty made a sympathetic noise. “For now, it sounds like all you can really do is try to stay calm, look for work, and hope for the best. Don't go looking for trouble where there's none to be found. If Andrew is willing to let the two of you stay, even for a little while, that's better than the position you were in yesterday.”
I sighed. “The thing is, Misty, with my luck, I have to expect the worst. I need to be able to see trouble coming so that I can deal with it. If I don't expect that he's going to kick us out in a month or two, if I don't expect that he could kick us out tomorrow, I'm going to be caught flat-footed when it actually happens. And that's no way to live.”
“But is this really any better?” Misty asked.
I picked at a hole that was forming in my jeans and shrugged my shoulders, even though I knew she couldn't see me do so. “I have to go,” I said as I heard Emma call for me from inside the room. “I'll be by to get our things sometime soon.”
“Okay,” Misty said. “Keep your chin up, girl.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Thanks for everything.”
Chapter Fourteen
Andrew
I waited impatiently outside the airport for my driver to pull up, irked that he wasn't there as soon as I walked out the sliding doors. My business trip had gone well, remarkably so, but I was jetlagged and exhausted now that I was back in Seattle. I regretted not having broken my return up into shorter hops, first London to New York to check in on our offices there, and then New York to Seattle a few days later. Something about being thirty made these trips seem a lot more difficult.
Or maybe it was just the fact that I hadn't been sleeping all that well, plagued by thoughts of what I was about to come home to.
I threw my bag into the back of the car and climbed in after it, sliding across the leather seats and relaxing back. My driver greeted me, but I was in no mood to talk, so after a curt “hello,” I quickly closed my eyes, signaling that I wanted my peace and quiet.