by Claire Adams
“My next two fights,” I said.
“No, forget about the fighting. Forget about Markie. What are your priorities in life?”
“Margie, and, well, now Anna.”
Artie smiled. “Anna, she’s good for you. I can tell how much you both love each other already.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. Had I missed a sign that she loved me? I’d been too scared to tell her my real feelings.
“I can tell by the way you guys look at each other. And I can tell by the way Anna acts with Margie. If the girl you’re seeing isn’t into your child, she isn’t worth it. But Anna just adores Margie. She’s a great influence on you.”
“That’s nice to hear from someone who’s an outside party.” I had to admit that I loved hearing these kinds of things. I had noticed how much Anna adored Margie because I’m Margie’s dad, but coming from Artie, it made me realize just how lucky I was to have Anna in my life. I wasn’t the only one seeing how much she loved Margie. Other people were noticing it too, and that meant Anna really was a great person.
“You know, Justin, I let my own life pass me by because I was too busy chasing things that didn’t matter to me in the end.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, I wanted the championships, the fame, the money, the glory. Those were my priorities, and before I knew it, my life had flown by. I realized I’d never had enough time with my wife. I spent so many years chasing the things that, in the end, didn’t matter. When my wife passed away, I realized how much time I had truly lost,” he said.
He sounded sad. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. I lost my own wife; we had that in common. I didn’t get enough time with her, but it was in a different way. I couldn’t compare my life to his.
“You need to get out, Justin,” Artie said bluntly.
“What? Why? How will I pay my bills?”
“Well, from what I see, you aren’t really paying your bills with fighting. If you had to reach out to Markie, things aren’t going well.”
He had a point.
“You need to get out of this game as soon as you clear this stuff with Markie. You need to stay away from him and any sort of game he might be a part of. You need to live your life and enjoy your daughter and your relationship with Anna. Don’t let it pass you by, Justin.”
What he was saying was really hitting home for me. “Thank you, Artie. I really appreciate you talking to me and making me see things more clearly. I’m sorry that I got myself into this mess.”
Artie gave my shoulder a squeeze. “You’re welcome, Justin. You’re a good kid with a lot of potential. You’re gonna go far with whatever you put your mind to. You just need to figure out what it is you really want out of life.”
Artie got up and walked over to the ring to talk with another gym member. I stayed seated for a few more minutes and thought about everything he said to me. He was so right, about everything. I knew where my heart was and who it belonged to.
It belonged with my family. It belonged to Anna. I needed to find a better way to live my life, a better way to raise Margie, because fighting just wasn’t worth it anymore.
I got up from the bench and went over to the punching bags to get in some punches before Artie came to work me harder. I appreciated him so much more after our talk. He was only being tough on me because he saw what I was worth. And now, I saw it too.
When Artie was done with the guy in the ring, he called me up. I got back into the ring, and he helped me practice my submission holds, the holds that were going to get me further in my next two fights.
He put me in a rear naked choke, and to my surprise, when I focused, I got myself out of it and in turn put him into the same hold. He complimented me on my form and quick moves and told me that was exactly what I needed to do during my next two fights.
As we were finishing up, Anna and Margie got back from lunch.
“Daddy!” Margie yelled as I climbed out of the ring. “We brought you some food. And Anna bought me a dress and shoes!” She was so excited. I grinned down at her. Seeing her so happy made everything else seem so inconsequential.
“She did? How was lunch with Anna and her parents?”
“It was great. I had a lot of fun, and my sandwich was so yummy!” she turned to Anna. “Show him my dress and shoes!”
“What kind of sandwich did you have?” I asked her as Anna moved the bag she was holding onto the chair and pulled out a white and yellow daisy dress and white shoes.
“Ham and cheese kid’s meal. It came with a cookie and chips. And a chocolate milk,” she said.
Anna said, “I hope that’s okay. The cookie and the chips, I mean. Well, and that I bought her this dress.”
I gave Anna a hug and a kiss. “Of course, it’s okay. She seems like she had a lot of fun.”
“She had a blast,” Anna said with a laugh.
I sat down in the chair next to Anna while Artie showed Margie around the gym. She had been begging to let me come with her for a while now.
“I hope that didn’t upset you,” Anna said.
“What?” I wasn’t sure what she was asking me.
“That I bought her the dress and shoes.”
I looked at Anna. “Of course, it’s okay. I can pay you back for it.”
“No, I don’t want to be paid back. I did it for Margie,” she said with such a bright smile that I knew she was just as excited about it as Margie was. “It’s a club, I hope that’s okay,” Anna said and handed me a to-go bag with a foil wrapped sandwich and a bag of chips.
I smiled. “I love club sandwiches.”
“Margie thought so, but she wasn’t sure. She said you had ordered one once and liked it.”
“She remembered; that’s sweet,” I said and looked over at my daughter. Artie was teaching her how to hit the punching bag. I turned back to Anna, “Thank you for taking her with you.”
“It was my pleasure, Justin. She had a blast. We all did. Plus, I couldn’t just let her starve.” She said it with a wink, and we both laughed.
The best part about Anna was that she was easy for me to get along with, and we could make each other laugh. It was simple, and nothing felt forced.
“Are you ready for your next fight?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.
I put the second half of my sandwich back down on the wrapper. “Yeah, I think I’ll be able to nail this one. I feel good about it.”
“That’s good to hear,” she said.
I watched as she moved a strand of hair out of her face. She looked so perfect in this moment, and I wished I had access to my phone to take a picture of her. She might have found it a little creepy if I just took a random picture of her, but the moment felt so perfect.
After I finished my sandwich, I got back in the ring for a few more rounds with Artie. We left two hours later. It had been a long day, and I could tell Margie was exhausted. We walked Anna to her car.
“I don’t want Anna to go,” Margie said as tears began to form.
“Awe, Margie. I’m sorry sweetheart, but Anna’s got to get home. And so do we,” I said.
Anna got down to Margie’s level and wrapped her in a hug. “I’ll try to come see you tomorrow. Would you like that?”
Margie nodded her head and sniffed. I watched as Anna wiped her tears away, and Margie made Anna promise to visit her again. Then she wrapped her little arms around Anna’s neck. Anna hugged her back, and they stayed like that for a full minute before Margie finally let go.
“You’re the best. You know that?” I said and pulled Anna into a hug.
“Thanks, Justin. So are you. And Margie,” she said.
“Thank you for the dress, Anna. Really, it means a lot.”
“It’s no problem at all. I felt honored to do that for her.”
I gave her another hug and kiss and then she got into her car. “Have a good night, you guys,” she said.
“You too,” Margie and I said at the same time. We both laughed.
&nbs
p; We stood there and watched as Anna drove away, and I couldn’t help but feel like I had just fallen even more in love with her.
I walked with Margie back to our car and helped her get buckled up in her booster seat. She fell asleep on the way home. The only time she really took naps anymore was when she was in the car. I glanced at her in the rearview mirror, and my heart swelled with pride. I loved my daughter more than life itself and had never known a love like that until she was born.
When we got home, I decided I hadn’t been spending as much time with her as I would have liked. So, I made us macaroni and cheese with hot dogs and a side salad. Then, I let her pick out a movie for us to watch.
She chose a Winnie The Pooh movie she got for her birthday. It was her favorite, and though I had seen it a million times, I was happy to watch it again with her. Spending time with her was more important than the actual activity we were doing.
“Can I wear my new dress tomorrow?” she asked me.
“Yes, you can. It’s very pretty. Did you thank Anna for buying that for you?” I asked.
“Yes. I love my Anna,” she said.
“Me, too,” I said.
The rest of the night was so peaceful. We watched the movie, I gave her a bath, and after that, we laid in her bed as I read her stories. I knew I wouldn’t mind spending every night for the rest of my life doing the exact same thing.
But, I knew there was one thing missing: Anna. If Anna was there, then our lives would be complete. She was the best thing that ever happened to Margie and me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Anna
It was Friday night, and I went to Justin’s fight with Ally. I had to her tag along because I was on pins and needles. I needed someone to keep me from completely losing it, but it turned out that Ally was just as nervous as me. Bringing her along wasn’t the distraction I hoped it would be.
The place was jam-packed full of people. It was as if they were all there to see Justin, so many people were yelling his name and holding up signs. It was amazing to hear the excitement in their voices as they chanted his name.
Margie stayed with my parents, who offered to watch her during the fight. Margie was so excited to stay with them. She brought an assortment of toys with her so she could show them her favorite ones. I had them watch her at my house instead of at Ally’s, where they had been staying.
Ally leaned into me and said, “I never thought you would be with someone that was into something so dangerous.”
“Me either,” I said. It was true. I had always been a timid person, and I hated watching action movies because of the violence. Now, I was dating a guy who was an MMA fighter, which, according to fans, was way more badass than wrestling or boxing.
“But I can’t picture you with anyone else now,” she said with a smile.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Yeah. Besides, mom and dad are never going to let Margie go now. You do realize that, right?”
I laughed. “That’s probably true.”
“Oh, it is. They’ve wanted a grandchild they could spoil, and now they have that, and I didn’t have to be the one to push the baby out of me. It’s a win-win for all of us.”
I laughed again. “Thank you for making me laugh, Ally. I appreciate it. I know we fight sometimes and get irritated with each other.”
“What do you mean? You get irritated with me?” Ally said, and I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm.
“But, I love you, Ally. You’re the best sister anyone could ever have,” I finished saying.
Ally put a hand over her heart. “Aww, Anna, I’m so flattered.” Still with the sarcasm, but I knew she loved me regardless.
The bell dinged loudly, and my nerves hit an all-time high. I turned my attention to the cage where Justin was standing, facing off with his opponent. Suddenly, he punched him in the right cheek. I couldn’t remember the name of the punches even though we had gone over them before. I figured I needed more practice before I learned them.
Justin punched him in the face a few more times, and the guy stumbled all over the place. I figured Justin had this in the bag in the first round. He was doing great. I wasn’t at his last fight, but I could already tell this one was going way better.
The bell rang once again, and they retreated to their corners. Justin smiled at me, and I smiled back. I tried my best to make it a bright smile, but it was hard to with how nervous I was.
“He’s kicking ass,” Ally said from beside me.
“I know. I hope it stays this way,” I said. My leg was now bouncing out of control. It was a nervous habit of mine.
The bell rang, and they touched gloves again.
“How many rounds are there?” Ally asked me.
I shrugged. “I think there’s supposed to be three? Or maybe it’s five.” I really had no clue.
We turned our attention back to the fight. Justin hit the guy in the ribs, and that must have been the last straw for his opponent. He picked Justin up and threw him on the ground and immediately had a hold of him. His arm was pinned in a weird way, and he seemed to be struggling to break free. Just as I thought he was about to tap out, he rolled out of it and got up. I watched him closely. Something wasn’t right. He was moving his arm weird, and I could tell from where I was sitting that he injured his shoulder.
“Justin!!” I yelled and jumped up from my seat. I tried to rush to the cage to see him. I wanted to make sure he was okay, but I was yanked back by Ally.
“Stop! You can’t go up there,” he said.
“I have to know he’s okay.” I pleaded with her.
“He’s fine right now. He’s up and moving around. You need to chill and sit down,” she said.
I sat back down. At that point, I felt a little defeated. My nerves were totally shot, and there was no calming me down. I was worried about Justin. He was obviously hurt, and I couldn’t help him. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.
I watched as Justin started hitting the guy in the face. Left, right, left, right, right. And then he hit him in the ribs. He hit him one more time in the face, and the guy fell to the ground.
I watched the ref rush over. “KO’d!” he yelled.
The crowd went wild. Justin won. I wanted to calm down and feel happy, but there was no way I was going to until I found out if he was okay or not.
He smiled and nodded his head at me as he passed our row to go into the back room. I jumped down and ran after him. I told Ally to wait for me out there and that I’d be back soon.
When I reached the room, Artie let me in, and I embraced Justin. He hugged me back.
“How is your shoulder?” I asked him.
“You could see that?”
“Yeah. It looked like you hurt it pretty bad,” I said, and before I could stop myself, I was crying. I couldn’t control any of my emotions at that point.
“It’s not that bad. Anna, what’s wrong?” he asked as he held me.
“I, I don’t think I can do this…”
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Artie said and left the room.
“Do what?” Justin asked.
“This, whatever it is. I just can’t. It’s too much for me. Watching you go through this.”
Justin looked a little hurt. “You have to, Anna; I need you. You can do this.”
I felt the butterflies when he said he needed me, but it still didn’t change my mind. I was an emotional wreck after watching that fight, and I didn’t think I could go through it all again.
“There has to be another way. There has to be some other way for you to pay back Markie,” I said.
“Anna, there isn’t. I made my bed, and now I have to lay in it. It’s only one more fight.” He looked scared, and I wasn’t sure why.
“Justin, I don’t know if you realize how hard this is on me.” The tears were still streaming down my face, but I didn’t care. I was too focused on arguing with Justin. I wanted him to quit fighting. I wanted him to get out now before it was too late and something rea
lly bad happened to him.
“It’s hard on me too, Anna,” he said.
“You have to find something else. I can’t keep doing this,” I said.
I pulled away from him and wiped my tears, trying not to smear my eye makeup too much.
He just stared at me with a blank look on his face. Just as he was about to say something, the door opened, and Artie poked his head in.
“Uh, sorry to interrupt, but I can’t keep them back,” Artie said. “Your fans would like to see you now, and they’re getting pretty rowdy out here.
“Let them in,” Justin said.
Then the crowd rushed into the room.
“Justin! Justin!” They were chanting as they formed a semi-circle around him.
I looked at him and then turned and ran out the door. I needed to get away from him. I needed to be alone and to think about things. I knew we had plans for the following day, but it was the last thing on my mind at that moment.
“Let’s go,” I said and grabbed Ally by the arm.
“What the hell?” she said as I dragged her out of the building and into the parking lot.
“We have to get going,” I said. I let go of her as we made our way to my car.
Ally asked me what was wrong several times on the way to my house.
“I can’t handle this,” I said. “It’s too much. Watching him get hurt. I just can’t handle the anxiety.” I was trying my best to hold back tears.
“That doesn’t seem fair,” she said.
I gave her a dirty look before I turned my focus back on the road. She was my sister. She was supposed to see things from my point of view. I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by her.
“I’m just saying, don’t make any rash decisions,” she said as we pulled up to my house.
I ignored her and focused on cleaning my face. I didn’t want to face my parents or Margie after the fight I’d just had with Justin. I was hurt and scared. I hadn’t even been able to have a real conversation with him, and I now had no idea where we stood.
My phone buzzed just as I walked into the house. I opened the text message from Justin.