It looks beautiful on the simple white dishes. Exactly like I pictured it in my mind.
I slide the plate in front of Sadie, a little thrill of nerves running through me.
“This looks amazing.” She leans in to take in the aromas. “It smells so good.”
I watch her with anticipation as she takes her first bite. She tests it, tasting it thoroughly, as if she knows this matters to me.
Her eyes drift closed and she hums with pleasure. “Oh, Gabriel. This is incredible.”
“You like it?”
“I love it,” she says. “The steak is so tender, it literally melts in my mouth. There’s a kick that doesn’t hit right away. It burns just the right amount. My mouth is warm, but not like I need to douse myself with water. And there’s a crunch—the crispness of the vegetables, and those roasted peanuts. It all works together perfectly.”
My chest swells with pride. I watch her take another bite and she lets out another soft moan. I’m not sure if I’m going to eat mine or just watch Sadie enjoy her dinner. I’m a little buzzed on the feeling of creativity. Of providing her with the exact experience I set out to create.
I trusted my instincts, and it worked. I can’t even remember the last time that happened.
“You need to try this,” she says between bites. “It’s like heaven in my mouth.”
“I’m really glad you like it,” I say. I taste a bite and I’m pleased with the outcome. She’s right, the steak is perfectly tender, and the heat of the dressing is spot on. The flavors and textures complement each other well.
It’s not fancy, but it felt good to make it. And it feels even better to watch Sadie enjoy it.
“Is this how you come up with new recipes for the restaurant?” she asks between bites.
“Actually, yes,” I say. “Sort of. I didn’t make this with that in mind. But I used to do a lot of experimenting, both at home and at the Mark.”
“What did you have in mind when you made this, then?”
“You.”
She pauses, her fork halfway to her mouth. “Me?”
“Yes, you. I saw those snap peas and they looked so crisp and fresh. And your hair makes me think of spice. Of heat. So a red chili marinade and dressing. And the rest came to me. It’s been a while since I felt so inspired.” I put my fork down and hold her gaze. “Mostly, though, I wanted to make you something you’d enjoy.”
“You’ve done that,” she says. “No question.”
I smile, brimming with satisfaction. We finish our meal and Sadie eats every bite. I didn’t plan dessert, but I easily whip up a simple chocolate custard. We sit on the couch together and dip fresh strawberries in the silky chocolate, feeding them to each other, while we finish off our bottle of cabernet.
Sadie settles in next to me and I feel a deep sense of contentment that I haven’t felt in a long time.
17
Sadie
I think I just ate the best meal I’ve ever had in my entire life. It was fresh, spicy, tender—absolutely delicious.
Watching Gabriel cook was fascinating. He made it look effortless. His deft hands sliced, chopped, grilled, and tossed the ingredients with expert care. There was something in his eyes while he was working—something I haven’t seen before. A spark of excitement. Of passion. He doesn’t usually look that way when he’s cooking—at least not that I’ve noticed. I wonder what’s different tonight.
Maybe it’s being away from the pressures of work. But I’d love to believe it has something to do with me.
And the dessert that he just threw together? He said he wanted something sweet, and fifteen minutes later, he produced the most decadent chocolate custard I’ve ever tasted. It was silky smooth on my tongue, with a rich chocolate flavor that complimented the sweetness of the fresh strawberries we picked up at the market.
A small fire crackles in the fireplace, more for the ambiance than the heat. We’re sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch, our feet propped up on the small table in front of us, toes pointing toward the flames. My belly is full and my eyes are drowsy in the aftermath of the delicious meal.
“Sorry,” I say after a long silence. “The food made me sleepy.”
“Don’t apologize,” Gabriel says, his voice soft. “This is nice.”
Nice. It is nice, that’s true. But I wish I could handle more than nice.
My mind drifts to the other day, when he let me touch him. He made me feel safe, secure. I wasn’t afraid to have my hands on him. I looked at him, naked, and the sight of him didn’t make me sick to my stomach. He felt good. Smelled good. Tasted good on my lips and tongue. It was wildly erotic to make him come like that, his cock pulsing between our bodies while he groaned.
I could do that with him again and again. Maybe let him touch me a little. With his hands. His mouth. I think I could do it.
But I want more.
I want to be strong enough to let him in. To feel him inside my body. I’m just not sure if I can.
And as for an orgasm? I haven’t had one since before Adam.
I’ve tried. I have what’s becoming a collection of vibrators and toys, hoping to find one that will work for me. When I’m by myself, I know I’m safe. I know I’m in control and no one can hurt me. But I still can’t do it. I can’t climax.
I miss it.
But more than that, I miss being physically intimate with someone without fear. I’m so close to that with Gabriel. Right now, we’re in an isolated cabin. I’m in a place that’s unfamiliar, and I don’t know how long it would take for help to arrive if I needed it. My phone is… I’m not even sure where. And yet, I’m completely relaxed. I’m not afraid.
Gabriel’s arm rests against mine. I lean my head against his shoulder and breathe out a long breath. Perhaps this is enough. For now, at least.
He shifts his hand, reaching for mine, and twines our fingers together. He gently rubs his thumb up and down—a leisurely stroke against my finger. Plants a soft kiss on my hair.
I glance up and smile. He looks a little sleepy, his blue eyes half closed. He smiles back and pulls me into his lap, facing him. My arms go around his shoulders, and he wraps his around my back, holding me close. He’s safe and warm, his scent masculine and comforting.
He’s safe.
“It feels so good to be held like this,” I say, my voice quiet.
“You feel good,” he says.
I turn and press my lips to his neck. His throat vibrates with a soft moan as I work my way up to his ear. He rubs my back and leans his face into me, taking a deep breath into my hair.
“God, I love the way you smell,” he says. “It’s addictive.”
I do the same, breathing him in, my face against his neck. Addictive is the word. My brain lights up with endorphins as his scent fills me.
He gently touches my chin and brings my lips to his. The feel of his mouth, his tongue teasing my lips, sends a trail of sparks straight to my core.
He kisses me softly, unhurried, his hands on my back firm, but careful. My body relaxes against him, my arms draped languidly around his neck. His mouth moves against mine, our tongues caressing. He tastes like wine and chocolate.
His hands move slowly up my back and he pulls away slightly. “You don’t like it when I do this?” He slides a hand to the back of my neck.
Even though his touch is so soft, I stiffen. “It’s my neck.” I hesitate; I hate having to relive it. “He—”
Gabriel puts a finger to my lips. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just want to know what feels good, and what doesn’t.”
His hand glides down, whispering past my collarbone. “Can I touch you here?” He palms my breast through my shirt.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He squeezes gently and I gasp.
“Where else can I touch you?” he asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Can I try?”
I look into his eyes for a long moment. My body aches for this.
My panties are wet and my skin pings with electricity at the thought of him touching me. Touching me everywhere.
“Okay.”
Please let this work.
We get up and he leads me to the bedroom. His eyes are hungry as he watches me undress. I take off my bra, but keep my panties on. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s seen me naked, but I can’t quite make myself take them off yet.
Gabriel gets undressed, down to his boxer briefs. I lick my lips at the sight of his erection bulging through his underwear.
“Do you want to lie down?” he asks and pulls back the covers.
I nod, and my heart rate speeds up as I lie on the bed.
Gabriel lies down next to me. “Just tell me if you want me to stop.”
He traces down my cheek, from my temple to my jaw. I take slow breaths and watch his face as he touches me. His eyes follow his hand as it trails across my upper chest. Moves down to my breasts. He cups one breast and I feel my nipples harden.
My skin tingles as he caresses down my belly. Traces a circle around my belly button, his fingers traveling south. He reaches my panties and touches them gently, his eyes meeting mine. He raises his eyebrows. I nod. Go ahead.
He slips his hand beneath the fabric and pauses. Leans in and kisses my forehead, giving me time to decide if I’m okay. His lips brush against mine and he moves his hand lower, lets his fingers whisper across the sensitive skin between my legs. I tip my knees open and let my eyes close.
Gentle fingers stroke me, soft at first. He kisses my jaw and cheek while he explores me. Almost involuntarily, my legs open wider. My breath quickens. Light pressure on my clit makes me gasp and he pulls away.
“Are you okay?” he whispers.
“Yes.” I don’t even open my eyes. “Please do that again.”
He slides his hand down, his movements becoming stronger, more purposeful. Fingers dip inside just enough to glide my wetness across my skin. He finds my clit again and rubs in a gentle rhythm.
Oh my god, it feels so good. Nothing I’ve ever done myself felt like this. The movement and pressure of his fingers is perfect—slow, rhythmic. I move my hips, grinding against his hand, seeking more. He shifts, moving so he can slide two fingers inside me.
“Oh god, Gabriel.”
He pumps his hand faster, pressing against my clit, sliding his fingers in and out. I rock my hips and move my hand down to cover his, guiding him. The heat in my pussy builds until I’m throbbing, desperate for release. He kisses down my chest and his mouth clamps down around my nipple. He sucks, his mouth moving in the same rhythm as his hand. My back arches and I’m aching, pulsing, vibrating with pleasure.
I’m so close, I can barely think. White-hot sparks race through my veins, singeing me from the inside. My core tightens, contracts.
Gabriel drags his jaw up to my neck and growls in my ear. “Come for me, baby.”
His voice, his scent, and his fingers working their magic all combine. My pussy clenches and I feel the peak, the summit, the moment before the orgasm erupts.
“Oh Gabriel, please.” My voice is breathy, almost strangled. “I’m almost there.”
A subtle shift of his hand has me right on the edge. The pressure is almost unbearable, my body frantic.
His mouth next to my ear, his breath hot against my skin, his voice is gravelly and low. “I love you, Sadie.”
I come undone.
I burst apart as hot, sweet pulses of ecstasy roll through me, wave after wave. It feels so incredible I can’t think, I can’t breathe. I clutch his arm, arch my back, roll my hips, call his name.
My breath comes in gasps and I’m covered in a sheen of sweat. Gabriel rests his forehead against mine, his hand still in my panties, his touch suddenly gentle once again.
I let my eyes flutter open and he looks down at me.
“What did you say?” I whisper.
He kisses my nose. “I said I love you.” Another kiss to my forehead. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready.”
“I love you too. Oh my god, Gabriel, I love you so much.”
He wraps his arms around me and holds me close. I cling to him, my heart racing. My body still thrums with heat and pleasure.
“Did that feel good?” he asks quietly.
“That felt amazing,” I say.
“Good.” He squeezes me tighter. “I can’t tell you how much I wanted to do that for you.”
“Gabriel, I want you inside me.”
“Baby, it’s okay. You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” I pull away so I can look him in the eyes. “Please. I want it so badly.”
Even with the blissful release of orgasm, my body is begging for more. I want this part of my life back. I want it with Gabriel, and I want it now.
“If you’re sure,” he says.
“I’m positive.” My certainty grows with every second that ticks by. “Now. Please.”
We both pull off our underwear and I open my legs as he climbs on top of me. I roll my hips and clutch his back, frantic to have him inside me.
The tip of his cock spreads me open and he pushes in, then waits.
“Yes?” he whispers in my ear.
“Yes.”
He slides in deeper, a low growl coming from his throat. He takes his time and his cock stretches me, fills me. I’ve never felt anything like it.
“Tell me if you need me to stop,” he says.
“I will,” I say, almost breathless. “But don’t stop.”
His body moves, his cock plunging in and out. I can feel the strain in his shoulders and arms, how much he’s holding back. He’s being so careful. And he feels so good.
So fucking good.
He kisses above my eyes, my temples, my cheeks. Each corner of my mouth. His cock slides in, like I was made for him. Like we were always meant to be here, tonight. There’s no fear. No pain. Nothing but the exquisite pressure of him filling me.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice low in my ear.
“Yes.”
“I want to fuck you harder.”
“Yes,” I say. “Harder.”
His hips drive into me, burying his cock deep inside. I lean my head back and close my eyes, reveling in the feel of him. His lean body ripples above me, his muscles straining. He groans into my ear, his breath hot against my neck.
“God, Sadie, you feel so good,” he says.
“Don’t stop,” I say, almost breathless. “Don’t stop that.”
“I could fuck you all night, but I want to come inside you,” he says.
My core tightens, the pressure building to a breaking point. Oh my god, I think I might come again. His strong body, braced above me, his skin against mine, his cock sliding in and out of me. It’s all so much. So good. So perfect.
I want to feel him unleash.
“Yes, baby,” I say. I move my hips, grinding against him. Every movement is agonizing bliss. “Come in me. Do it.”
“Fuck, Sadie,” he growls. One hand grabs my ass and he pounds me harder. “I love you so much.”
His cock thickens, pulsing. I feel my body peaking again, my pussy clenching around him. A few more thrusts and his back stiffens, his body going rigid. He groans, his cock throbs, his come spills into me.
It’s all too much.
I explode in a flurry of sparks. My body comes apart beneath him, the tension so sweet. So hot. Pleasure floods through me, radiating from my core. I clutch his back, clinging to him for dear life as the orgasm sweeps me away.
Breathing hard, he kisses me again—soft, gentle kisses on my mouth, my cheeks, my eyelids.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say. “Oh my god, Gabriel, that was so good. You felt so good.”
A broad smile crosses his face. “So much for no orgasms.”
I laugh. “You’re magic, do you know that?”
He kisses my forehead again. “No, I just love you.”
He pulls out and I clean up in the b
athroom. When I come out, he’s in bed, the sheets pulled up to his waist, showing off his toned body.
I slip in bed next to him and he pulls me close, kissing the top of my head.
“How you doing?” he asks.
“So good,” I say. My body feels warm and satisfied. “But Gabriel?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I should have mentioned this before, but I’m not using anything,” I say. “I honestly didn’t think I could have sex again after what happened. But you felt so good and I wanted you inside me so badly.”
He squeezes me tighter. “It’s okay. I didn’t stop us either. And honestly, I didn’t even bring condoms with me. This was a pretty big surprise. I didn’t think you’d be ready.”
I look up at him. “You’re not upset?”
“Nah,” he says. “It was only once. I’ll pick up some condoms for next time. You don’t need to worry about it.”
I stroke my fingers through his chest hair. “You want there to be a next time?”
He rolls me onto my back and holds himself up over me. “I want there to be many next times. But only if that’s what you want.”
I smile up at him. This wonderful man. So generous and perfect. “Yes, I definitely want that.”
He kisses my nose. “Good.”
18
Sadie
My fridge is pretty much empty. With a sigh, I close it again. I have a few hours before work, and I should really get some groceries. I can’t eat at work—or Gabriel’s house—all the time.
Our little getaway was surprising in so many ways. He made me feel amazing. Since then, I’ve grown more and more comfortable with letting him take the lead. I love how he seems to know my body so well, like he has the power to make it do whatever he wants. And I love giving over that trust to him.
He gave me back something I thought I’d lost.
The last few weeks have been like a dream. He’s often busy working, but he always makes time for me, even if it’s just a quick lunch date. And if a day goes by and we haven’t had a chance to see each other, he coaxes me into staying with him at his place. I love sleeping next to him, my body tucked against his.
Could Be the Reason: (Gabe and Sadie) (A Back to Jetty Beach Romance Book 3) Page 12