by Sarah Price
Jonas continued.“And I bet Priscilla grows just as nice, if not better, tomatoes than that girl.”
Mamm put down her fork and knife, staring at the boys.“What has gotten into you boys?”She looked at her husband.“Where are my sons? The ones that were raised properly and should know better than to speak unkindly about anyone?”
Priscilla tried to hide her smile as she saw her daed’smouth twitch, clearly fighting to keep a straight face.“Well, she sure does seem very prideful when it comes to those tomatoes,”Daed said.“Her own father repeated what Susie said and that seemed to be an awful lot of boasting.”
David looked up.“Boasting? She was actually bragging that her tomatoes sold the most of any Amish farm in our district last year!”
“Seems she’s more interested in making money than in growing good tomatoes and helping others,”Daed added. When he saw his wife glare at him, he cleared his throat.“But your mamm’sright. We should pray for her to see the error of her proud ways, no?”
Jonas tucked his head down and dove back into his food.“Oh I’ll pray for her all right. Pray for her to move right back down to that Florida where her family came from!”
Mamm gasped.“Jonas!”
But the rest of the table laughed and even Mamm hid a smile. It was no secret that since the Byler’s family moved to Ephrata, Susie had developed a reputation for making waves. In the beginning, everyone had tried to deal with her fake smiles and overly dramatic concern over every person that she met. They chalked it up to Susie trying to make friends and find her way within the community. Moving from Florida to Pennsylvania was certainly a big change for a fourteen-year-old. But, over the past two years, her dramatic ways only increased. Secretly, Priscilla was thankful that she never had to attend school with her so her socialization was limited to Church Sundays and gatherings with the neighbors.
Unfortunately, now that they were both sixteen, Priscilla knew that she’d be seeing more of Susie Byler. There would be volleyball games and singings as well as other youth gatherings. She had even heard a whisper of a camping trip for the youth during June. The boys would go one week on a Thursday and Friday while the girls’turn would come on the following Monday and Tuesday. Priscilla wanted very much to attend, but she dreaded having to spend so much time with Susie Byler.
Chapter Two
On Sunday. Priscilla stood in the back of the gathering room with the other young women, those who had not been baptized yet. She watched as the ministers walked into the worship room, which was being held in the large open loft over the Zook’s horse barn. Soon the older women walked in, the oldest women leading the single-file line of women as they took their place in the front rows of the women’s side of the room. After they were situated, the older men followed, sitting opposite them. Priscilla sighed, knowing that it would be another few minutes before the young, unbaptized youth took their seats. They needed to wait until the married women with small children took their places. Finally, it would be time for the young, unbaptized youth to enter.
Priscilla felt conscious of the black prayer kapp that she wore. Once she turned sixteen, she had stopped wearing her white, heart-shaped prayer covering to worship. In its place, she wore the black one. Over her dress, she wore a crisp, starched white organdy dress covering. They symbolized that she was over 16 and unmarried. She longed for the day when she would be able to shed the stiff dress covering and the black prayer kapp. Both of them made her feel too conspicuous, as if everyone was staring at her.
While they waited for the married people to settle into their places, her eyes trailed the barn to seek out the young men standing along the back wall in the outer room. The men would wait until the young women entered before they followed. She noticed Stephen Esh standing next to her brothers. At that exact same moment, his eyes seemed to move in her direction and, before she knew it, he was staring at her. The color flooded to her cheeks and she quickly averted her eyes, but not before she saw him smile.
“If you think Stephen Esh is interested in taking you home from the singing tonight,”someone whispered into her ear.“You’re wrong.”
Priscilla turned her head, surprised to see Susie Byler standing right behind her.“Whatever are you talking about, Susie?”
Susie’s dark eyes glanced over at Stephen.“I saw you staring at him, Priscilla,”Susie said. Her blond hair was pulled back from her face and contrasted sharply against the black prayer kappshe wore. Despite having such a sharp tongue, Susie was pretty. But her eyes, so dark and glaring, hinted that there was more to this young woman than her looks. She turned her gaze back to look at Priscilla and frowned.“Quite brazen, if you ask me.”
“Sssh,”one of the older girls said, casting a stern look at Susie and Priscilla. To be caught talking before or during worship service would warrant unwanted attention and perhaps a lecture from the bishop afterwards, something everyone wanted to avoid.
A few minutes later, the young girls walked into the room and took their places on the hard benches at the back of the room. With the windows opened, a cool breeze seemed to float through the room. Being that it was early June, the weather was perfect; not too hot or humid yet. White fluffy clouds floated through the sky, which was the bluest of blues that Priscilla could remember. She got lost in the clouds as she gazed out the window, listening to the singing of the Ausbund:
The world will persecute you
And inflict much scorn and insult,
Driving out and also freely saying
That Satan is in you.
Now when men slander and revile you,
Persecute and beat you for my sake,
Rejoice, for see, your reward
Is prepared for you in Heaven.[1]
Trying to forget about Susie Byler’s nasty accusation, Priscilla focused instead on the first minister’s sermon. She loved listening to the sing-song lilt of his voice as he preached. There was also so much passion in these sermons. Today, the minister spoke at great length about forgiveness and Priscilla tried to absorb everything that he said. He quoted stories from the Bible about Abraham and Jacob. He explained how Jesus chose to share fellowship with the sinners since they were the ones that needed God’s grace the most.
Priscilla watched a few white clouds float across the sky as the minister’s sermon sank into her heart. She vowed that she would work harder to forgive others when they disappointed her. It was a difficult thing to do, sometimes. She knew that. But she also knew that it was the harder things in life that were usually the most rewarding once achieved.
Toward the end of the service, Priscilla stood with the rest of the worshippers and turned toward the outer wall. The men faced one side of the building while the women faced the other. The bishop prayed over the community. Then, as if on silent command, everyone knelt and cupped their hands against their heads, resting their elbows on the benches where they had previously been seated. For a long time, the church prayed. The prayers were long and silent, deep and private. Priscilla prayed to God to help her learn from the sermon and improve herself as a good Amish Christian woman.
It was during the fellowship hour that she was given her first test. After the service, the members of the g’may gathered for the noon meal. Since the district was so large, there were often two or even three seatings, depending on how many visitors attended service. The younger women always took the second seating so that the older men and women as well as the mothers with young children could eat first.
While the first group sat and enjoyed their meal, the young women made certain to keep everyone’s water glasses filled and replenish any empty platters of food on the table. After the food was finished, the young women would offer coffee to those that remained seated for dessert.
Priscilla stood by the back wall, talking quietly with her friend, Anna Zook. It was her daed’s farm that had hosted the service this Sunday. His brother was the bishop so it had been an especially important day for Anna Zook’s family.
Both Anna and
Priscilla could hardly contain their excitement for the singing taking place in the evening. After all, this was their first singing to attend since they had both turned sixteen in the early spring. During the early months of spring, there weren’t any singings. During the week, the young men needed to arise early in the morning to help their families in the fields. Between plowing and planting, the long days meant tired young men. On some of the farms, even the young women helped. This spring, Priscilla happily worked alongsideher family to clear an extra field that hadn’t been used in several years. Unfortunately, the hard days meant tired nights. No one had felt like attending singings.
“You two aren’t still chattering about tonight’s singing, are you?”
Priscilla looked over her shoulder, not surprised to see Susie Byler standing there, a scowl on her face and disgust in her eyes. The fierce expression stole her beauty, removing any layers of outer beauty as her inner self emerged. The ugliness surprised Priscilla
“Are you going too, then?”Priscilla asked, trying to sound sincere and pleasant. The words of the minister echoed in her head: Rejoice, for see, your reward is prepared for you in Heaven.
“Am I going to the singing?”Susie scoffed, her tone mirroring her contemptuous expression.“I havebeen going. I’ve been attending singings for months. In fact, I started attending them last fall!”
Priscilla felt her blood boil, but she quickly did as her mamm always instructed: count to ten. In this case, Priscilla counted to ten not just once but twice.
What did it matter if Susie had attended singings longer than Priscilla and Anna? Was it that important? After all, Susie had turned sixteen in September while Priscilla had only turned sixteen in March. After the months of plowing and planting, the singings had only started up recently for the upcoming spring, summer, and fall seasons. But she had been unable to attend since her brothers were busy with the fields. It wouldn’t have been proper for her to show up without being escorted by one of her brothers.
Trying to find a way to diffuse the unfriendly response from Susie, Priscilla took a deep breath and said,“That’s wonderful, Susie. Perhaps you might guide us tonight.”
“Guide you?”There was an odd look on her face as if she was stunned at the suggestion. With a flip of her head, she frowned.“Well, I’ll just have to pray about that,”she said shortly and walked away.
Priscilla stared after her, her mouth almost hanging open. Had Susie really just said that she needed to pray about helping Anna and Priscilla at their first singing? Priscilla had never heard anyone speak to her in such a rude manner. She was unprepared as to how to respond. Clearly this battle with conquering forgiveness was going to be harder than the minister had insinuated.
“Can you believe her?”Anna finally said, her voice barely a whisper.
Oh yes, Priscilla thought. Forgiveness.The word echoed in her head. So she merely smiled as she turned to look at her friend.“It’s not important, is it? Mayhaps brother Jonas will pick you up tonight when he brings me. That way, we can arrive together. It can’t be too hard to attend a singing, now. Can it?”
Anna smiled in appreciation. She didn’t have any older brothers to take her to the singing. All of her brothers were younger. She would have to rely on her younger uncles to take her but many of them didn’t live nearby. Having Jonas take her was the perfect solution.“That would sure be nice if you would ask him, Priscilla. You have always been such a good, dear friend.”
There was relief in Anna’s eyes and Priscilla felt better already. If Susie Byler wasn’t going to accept their offer of friendship, it didn’t matter. With Anna by her side, Priscilla had all the friendship that she needed. Together, they would attend their first singing and figure it out on their own. They didn’t need Susie to guide them. After all, they had each other and that was enough.
Chapter Three
The singing was held in the same room at the Zook farm that had housed the church service earlier in the day. Priscilla and Anna felt giddy and they giggled as they climbed the staircase to the large gathering room. Since it was still sunny outside, the kerosene lanterns that hung from the roof beams hadn’t been lit yet. There was a table full of popcorn and pretzels, homemade cookies and pies. Everything looked wunderbaar gut to Priscilla.
Some of the young Amish men lingered nearby, drinking freshly-made lemonade and meadow tea while talking. Priscilla was quick to notice that Stephen Esh was at the center of the group. With his brown curly hair and willowy statue, so much taller than most of the other Amish youth, it was hard to miss him. But it was his quick smile and kind blue eyes that always caught her attention. When she walked by, he looked up and smiled at her. Quickly, Priscilla averted her eyes but not before the color rushed to her cheeks.
Anna reached out and touched Priscilla’s arm. Thankful for the diversion, Priscilla looked up in time to see her friend motion toward a group of young women standing to the side of the room, near the back window.“Let’s go join them,”Anna said softly.
They walked over to the window together and stood on the outside of the group. Most of the girls were older, probably eighteen or nineteen. But they all turned and smiled at the newcomers. They remembered what it was like when they first attended a singing.
“It’s so nice to see you here,”Linda Yoder said, linking her arm into Priscilla’s as they greeted each other.
Priscilla smiled.“Danke,”she said, glancing around at the other young women. It was nice to receive such a warm welcome from the older girls and it made her feel less nervous.
“Why, there you are,”someone said from the stairwell. Priscilla didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. She could tell from the voice that dripped with sugar.“Why Linda Yoder! I am so glad to hear that you’re feeling better,”Susie said, reaching for Linda’s hand, which meant that she needed to release her arm from Priscilla’s. Susie casually slid between Linda and Priscilla.“I was thinking about you all week! Summer colds are just the worst!”
Priscilla glanced at Anna but didn’t say anything. However, she almost smiled when Anna rolled her eyes. Luckily, no one else saw.
“Danke, Susie. Aren’t you so kind?”Linda said softly.
Satisfied, Susie turned around and smiled at another woman.“And Rachel! I saw your new quilt hanging in the shop in Intercourse. I think you have the finest stitches I’ve ever seen! And that pattern! Wherever did you come up with it?”
“It was my grandmother’s,”Rachel said, beaming from the praise.
The praise continued around the small circle, Susie finding something to say to each woman that brought a wide smile to their faces. However, her praise stopped short when she saw Priscilla and Anna standing nearby. She met their gaze and frowned before turning back to the older young women.“I think I’ll get some refreshments before the singing starts,”she said, turning her attention back to the other young women.“Linda, would you like something?”
Several of the other women walked with Susie over to the table, leaving Anna and Priscilla standing to the side, alone and feeling lost. They stared after Susie who had quickly made herself the center of attention by praising the other girls and asking them lots of questions. But she hadn’t even said so much as hello to Priscilla or Anna.
“Oh, she makes me think terrible things,”Priscilla mumbled. She hated to admit it but it was true. It wasn’t that she wanted to be the center of attention but she certainly didn’t want to be made to feel like an outsider.
“I know,”Anna sighed.“Just keep thinking about today’s sermon.”
“I am,”Priscilla whispered. Forgiveness, she repeated to herself. “It’s what is keeping my words in my head and not on my lips.”
The singing began a short time later. Anna and Priscilla sat in the second row, on the simple pine benches, with the other young women. Priscilla loved listening to the songs, each one begun by one of the young men who would sing the first word of the hymn before the rest of the group joined in the song. The hymns were sung fas
ter than the ones during the church service. Priscilla had never heard the hymns sung in a faster manner and the sound fascinated her. It was beautiful music and the words touched her heart. Once again, she vowed to keep her patience in check when it came to that Susie Byler.
When the group broke for refreshments, Jonas came over to Anna and Priscilla carrying two cups of lemonade. He smiled at his sister, pleased to see that she was fitting in without his help.“You like the singing, then, ja?”he asked.
Priscilla nodded her head.“It’s so beautiful. I love the music and the songs; so different than at church.”
Her brother smiled at his youngest sister. He had always been protective and caring of her. They had a special bond from being so close in age, but also due to his tender nature.“Das ist gut,”he said and glanced at Anna. He gave her a friendly smile as he handed her the cup of lemonade.“And you?”
Anna was quick to reply.“I feel so grown up!”
Jonas laughed.“Well,”he replied, a sparkle in his blue eyes,“You are sixteen now. Mayhaps you’ll get an invitation to ride home in a buggy with someone.”
She flushed.
“If not, you’ll just be stuck with me,”he added and grinned.
Priscilla looked up, realizing that Jonas was, indeed, stuck with bringing both her and Anna home. She hadn’t realized that when she had asked him to pick up Anna. Now, if there was a young lady he wanted to bring home, he couldn’t.“Oh Jonas,”she gasped.“We can always walk home. I didn’t think…”This was, after all, his time of courting, too.
He placed a hand on her arm to stop her.“Mayhaps I’d prefer nothing more than to take you both home.”And she could tell from his expression that he was sincere. He straightened his back and glanced around.“Two prettiest girls here, anyway,”he teased.“And the nicest! There’s no one else I’d like to ask to ride home with me anyway!”
Both Anna and Priscilla lowered their eyes and the color rushed to their cheeks. Even if Jonas was being brotherly, compliments were far and few between. He laughed at their modesty and winked at Anna before he hurried back to his group of friends before the next round of songs began. For a split second, Priscilla wondered about that twinkle in his eye when he had looked at Anna. Could he have been telling the truth that there was no one else he’d like to ride home with after the singing?