by Sarah Price
What a good brother Jonas is, Priscilla thought to herself. He knew that she was still feeling poorly about seeing Susie Byler riding in Stephen’s buggy. The disappointment and hurt had been easy to hide during the day with the children helping her make applesauce but clearly she needed a few minutes by herself in order to prepare for the evening. She dreaded seeing Stephen arrive with Susie in his buggy. Even worse, Priscilla felt her stomach twist at the thought of Susie Byler’s smugness if she showed up with Stephen by her side.
“Danke, bruder,”she whispered with a shy smile.“That’s right gutof you.”
She watched as Jonas shifted the box so that it rested on his hip while he reached for Ruth Ann’s hand.“Let’s go see your mamm,”he said cheerfully. Standing in the doorway, Priscilla stared after them, her brother Jonas leading the way down the road with the three kinner in tow.
Indeed, she was thankful for the few extra minutes to collect her thoughts as she prepared for the evening’s festivities. With so much on her mind, she needed that time to make certain that she could face the fact that she had, indeed, seen Susie Byler riding in Stephen Esh’s buggy that same morning. The thought did break her heart but she refused to let it break her spirit. Life will go on, she told herself, despite the fact that she had a real hard time actually believing it.
Chapter Three
Priscilla took a deep breath before she climbed down from the buggy. Jonas gave her a reassuring smile before he hurried to hitch the horse alongside the Miller’s barn where other horses were already standing. Part of her wanted to wait for Jonas but a little voice inside of her whispered,“Face this alone.”
She listened to the little voice.
The volleyball net was set up alongside the farmhouse. There was a long table laden with pies and pretzels as well as pitchers of lemonade and water. Several people were already playing volleyball, mostly the young men, while the women stood along the sidelines in small groups. Occasionally, several of the young women would join the game but, for the most part, it was dominated by the men.
Looking around the room, she was relieved to see her friend, Anna Zook, standing with Polly and Sarah on the other side of the volleyball net. She hurried over to join them, her eyes looking straight ahead for fear of seeing Susie Byler or Stephen Esh. Her heart was racing, hoping against all hope that neither one of them would show up.
Don’t be so silly, she scolded herself. If Susie is what Stephen wants in a girlfriend, you should be happy for him. Yet, Priscilla knew that this wasn’t the problem. She’d be happy for Stephen, no matter who he courted. He had been nothing but kind to her. She had no hard feelings toward him. However, the truth was that she knew she would never be happy for Susie Byler if she were to become the woman chosen by Stephen.
“There you are!”Anna said and reached out joyfully to hold Priscilla’s hand.
“How did your applesauce making go?”Sarah asked.
“Sweet,”Priscilla said lightly, despite not feeling in a teasing mood. She knew better than to let others see how torn up she was really feeling inside. Besides, she figured, she couldn’t change anything and feeling gloomy would not help the situation.
“Glad to hear it,”Sarah said and smiled sympathetically.
Priscilla wondered if Sarah had seen Susie with Stephen at the market. The thought made her heart quicken again and she looked away, doing her best to blink back the tears that threatened to blur her vision.
Anna didn’t notice the undercurrent of the conversation. Instead, she leaned forward.“Heard that some of the women folk are starting quilting bees in the next few weeks for the fall weddings!”She looked over at Priscilla.“Mayhaps you’ll be one of them, ja?”
This time, the color drained from Priscilla’s face. How could she tell them about Stephen in the buggy with Susie?“I’m not quite seventeen, Anna,”she said slowly, trying to act natural.“Not thinking about quilts or weddings just yet.”
Sarah jumped to Priscilla’s defense.“Such nonsense,”she said waving her hand.“Those women just look for an excuse to quilt. Helps the winter months pass by quicker, ain’t so?”She smiled at Priscilla.“Has truly nothing to do with weddings or whatnot.”
Anna laughed.“I sure know my mammisn’t thinking about a quilt for me, that’s for sure and certain.”She leaned forward.“But I heard talk that your mamm asked to borrow my mamm’squilting frame.”
The talk was too much for Priscilla. She swallowed and looked around at her friends. Polly and Sarah were older and, by all rights, should be the ones talking about wedding quilts and quilting bees. But, truth be told, Priscilla had been looking forward to the possibility. After all, wasn’t it only the evening before when her mamm had suggested that they think about it?
“I think I’ll go get some lemonade,”she mumbled and hurried away, hoping that a moment of peace would help her catch her breath and regain her composure.
At the food table, she poured herself a cup of lemonade and carried it over to an empty picnic table under a large oak tree. The leaves were just beginning to lose their bright green color and several had a hint of yellow starting to poke through. For a moment, she shut her eyes and enjoyed the cool air from the evening as it caressed her face. It helped to calm her down from the earlier moments of anxiety.
“I was hoping you’d be here,”a voice said softly into her ear.
Priscilla opened her eyes and looked up. It was Stephen Esh, smiling at her, his hands in his pockets and his eyes sparkling.“Oh,”she gasped, surprised by more than his sudden appearance. She couldn’t imagine why he was talking to her if he was, indeed, interested in Susie Byler.
“I haven’t seen you all week,”he said.“I was hoping you’d let me take you home, Priscilla,”he said softly so that no one else could hear.“After the volleyball game, I mean.”
“I…but…”she stammered.
“But what?”he asked, a confused look crossing his face.“You didn’t promise someone else, did you?”He looked concerned.
Now it was Priscilla’s turn to frown. How could he think of such a thing?“Of course not but…”She glanced over her shoulder, wishing that someone would come rescue her. But everyone was engrossed in their own conversations. When she looked back at Stephen, he was staring at her, waiting for her to continue her sentence.“What about Susie?”she said, her voice lowered.
He frowned, his eyebrows furrowed together. His reaction made it clear that he didn’t know what she meant.“Susie?”
Priscilla felt foolish and lowered her eyes. She could barely look at him. Certainly he must think that this was very forward of her. But he had asked.“Susie Byler. You took her to market this morning, ain’t so?”
For a moment, Stephen was silent. It was pure curiosity that caused Priscilla to peek up at him. She expected him to be angry with her, disappointed in her question about something that was clearly none of her business. When her eyes met his, she was both surprised and relieved to see him smiling at her.
He knelt down beside the picnic table and, with a quick glance to make certain no one was watching, he reached for her hand. His thumb caressed her skin and she felt goose bumps travel up her arm. No one had ever held her hand before. His skin felt warm and the pressure of his thumb felt strong yet gentle.
“You listen to me, Priscilla Smucker,”he said softly.“I know you’re young, mayhaps too young to think about the future, but I want you to know that it’s my hope to share in that future. With you. Not now, but some day.”He glanced around again before leaning forward and kissing the top of her hand. It was a quick movement, one that caused her to catch her breath. When he looked back at her, he smiled.“You have nothing to fear about Susie Byler. I don’t want to talk poorly about anyone in our community but, just know, you’re a class act, Priscilla Smucker, and you’ve stolen my heart.”
“Oh,”she gasped quietly, the color flooding to her cheeks. You’ve stolen my heart. The words echoed in her ears. Did he really just say that to her?
T
hen, without further comment, he released her hand and stood up. She could hear the joints in his knees crack. He glanced back over at the group of young men.“Best get back to my friends, ja?”he said as he looked down at her.“I’ll be saving you that seat in my buggy, Priscilla. Tonight and every night. No need for you to worry about that.”
She watched as he walked away from her, rejoining his friends. Just before standing beside them, he turned around, his eyes drifting over to her one more time and he winked before turning back to the young men who stood beside him.
It took her a moment to understand what had just happened. His words had been so sweet and reassuring. No one had ever spoken to her like that before. Yet, she was confused. Hadn’t she seen Stephen driving a buggy with Susie Byler sitting next to him? Clearly, Stephen was telling her that she had no competition with Susie, not for his affections anyway. And his words insinuated that he was, indeed, looking forward to the future, waiting for her to be old enough to marry.
Marry, she thought. A warm feeling spread throughout her veins. Was Stephen Esh really thinking about marrying her? She bit her lip and tried to hide her joy. No girl could do better than to have the affection and attention of Stephen Esh. She was honored and said a quick, silent prayer, asking that she’d always remain worthy of his heart.
Anna was hurrying across the grass toward her. Her face was drawn and pale. The serious expression and her determination caused Priscilla to drift away from her dreams of the future and return to the present.
“Anna? What’s wrong?”
Anna took Priscilla’s arm and helped her to her feet.“I need to talk to you, right now”she whispered.
Quickly, Anna led her behind the barn. There was an urgency to Anna’s steps that Priscilla didn’t understand. Once they were out of earshot, Anna turned to Priscilla.
“It’s that Susie Byler again,”she hissed.“She’s at it again.”
Priscilla sighed. Just what she didn’t want to hear.“What is it this time?”
Anna took a deep breath.“Ach vell, she’s still going on and on about the charity dinner and telling people what you did.”
“I didn’t do anything,”Priscilla said, frustration in her voice.
“You and I know that but she keeps going on about it,”Anna said, shaking her head.“But this time, she’s boasting that Stephen Esh came calling on her!”
The color drained from Priscilla’s face. Courting was a private matter, shared between two people with a great affinity for each other. This was done somewhat discreetly so that there would be no shame if the courtship did not last. To publicly speak of“courting”was immoral and prideful. It also could create a lot of problems for Stephen, especially if the people thought he was courting two girls at once. His reputation would be gravely affected. Even worse, the bishop might get involved. It wasn’t a common occurrence but Priscilla knew that it had happened before in their community.
“Why would she do that?”It wasn’t just that Susie was hurting Priscilla this time. Now, she was targeting Stephen, too.
Anna shook her head.“I just don’t know, Priscilla. But she was telling Rachel and Linda that he’s courting her, not you.”
This time, she gasped. Why would Susie Byler stoop so low as to mention Priscilla’s name when spreading her horrid gossip and prideful claims? “Oh! She makes me so angry,”Priscilla whispered.“I don’t feel Christian when I hear her name.”
“Me neither,”Anna confessed.“She’s just not a nice person at all.”
With a big sigh, Priscilla reached out and took Anna’s hand in hers. She met her friend’s eyes and tried to smile.“We just have to try harder, I reckon. Jesus taught us to love the sinners, didn’t he?”
Anna squeezed her friend’s hand.“You are right, Priscilla. We have to try harder.”But she couldn’t help adding,“Despite Susie making it really difficult to do just that.”
They both laughed and gave each other a quick, friendly hug. Priscilla was glad to have such a good friend as Anna. It made the hard times much easier to survive when there was a person like Anna in her life.
“Now, let’s go join that volleyball game and show those other girls what fun is all about,”Anna said confidently.“And standing on the sidelines sure isn’t it!”
Together, they walked over to where the game was being played and joined a side. For the next hour, they laughed with the other youth and enjoyed themselves, quickly forgetting about Susie Byler and her antics.
Chapter Four
Stephen helped Priscilla into the buggy after the volleyball game. He made certain that she was situated and comfortable before he closed the door and latched it. Then he hurried around to the other side. She noticed that he paused to rub his hand down his horse’s neck, a simple gesture that spoke volumes about his character.
Once he was beside her and had the horse moving, she felt herself relax. She berated herself for having doubted Stephen’s intentions although she was still curious about Susie’s presence in his buggy earlier that day. And why, she wondered, would Susie be boasting that Stephen had‘come calling’at her home. However, she knew that such questions were not to be asked. Either she trusted Stephen or she didn’t. She certainly wasn’t about to ask the questions that were running through her mind. That would be stooping to the level of Susie Byler. Unlike Susie, Priscilla was not about to start rumors or spread lies.
“I’ve been busy this past week,”he said, finally breaking the silence in the buggy. The horse trotted down the road, the sound of its hooves clipping against the macadam in a gentle rhythm. Stephen glanced at Priscilla as he added,“Daed really needed my help since brother Eli has been visiting relatives in Ohio.”
Ah, she thought. So that explains why she hadn’t seen much of him.
“And one of the neighbor’s has been feeling poorly so I offered to help with the morning and evening milking,”he continued.
“Oh Stephen,”she exclaimed. Now that she understood why he hadn’t been over to see her, she was worried about how hard he was working. Helping his daed and a neighbor meant long days and short nights.“That’s so much work for you!”
He shrugged lightly.“Idle hands are no gut.”
That was Stephen. A good, solid Amish man. Rather than admit that he was working too hard, he turned it around to seem as if it were the most natural thing in the world to work sixteen to eighteen hour days because his help was needed by his daed and his daed’s neighbor. He always put others’needs before his own. If ever a man upheld the Lord’s Commandments, it ought to be Stephen Esh. She made a silent promise to herself to continue trying to be more like him so that she would be worthy of making him proud of her.
“And your own farm?”
He looked at her and smiled.“All’s gut,”he said.“Just glad it’s autumn already. No crops to harvest.”A car slowed down behind the buggy and passed them. Stephen moved the horse over to the side of the road, giving a wide berth to the fast moving automobile.“Next spring will be different,”he admitted.“I want to double the crops so that there is a big corn harvest in the summer. I may have to hire some help.”
“Is that economical?”she heard herself ask, immediately wishing she could retract the question. She didn’t want him to think that she was nosy about his business.
But Stephen merely took a deep breath and lifted his shoulders.“I keep asking myself the same question, Priscilla. But I can’t let down my daed. Even if I make less money per acre, it will still be more than what I can do on my own, ain’t that so?”
There was sense in what he explained. Priscilla found herself impressed by his business sense.“You do have a point, Stephen. Can’t argue that.”
There was a moment of silence. She listened to the sounds of the horse and buggy, relaxing as she sat next to Stephen. She couldn’t imagine the workload that he had taken on during the past few weeks. Working for his daed, managing his own farm, and helping a neighbor. No one could ever accuse Stephen Esh of having idle hands, that was for
sure and certain.
Her thoughts were interrupted when he cleared his throat and said,“I heard the women were making applesauce this week. Did you?”
Priscilla nodded, happy to move into safer territory and something she was comfortable discussing.“Oh ja!”she gushed.“Jonas and I picked up ten bushels this morning and I spent all day with Mamm and two of sister Elsie’s kinnerpeeling, cooking, and canning the apples. Little Katie and Ben were such a big help. I think Ben felt most important that he had the chopping job.”
A broad grin crossed Stephen’s face.“Aw, Priscilla,”he said.“That’s mighty gutof you! Letting the little ones help out and making them feel gut about themselves. He’ll remember that long after the applesauce is all eaten, ja?”
There was a long pause and Priscilla could tell that Stephen was thinking hard about something. His brow was furrowed and he chewed on his bottom lip.“Speaking of applesauce, you mentioned that you saw me when I took Susie Byler to market today to buy apples. Her daed’sbeen ill and I’ve been helping out at their farm.”He glanced at Priscilla.“She doesn’t have any brothers, you know.”
Without realizing it, Priscilla exhaled. So that explained why Susie was in Stephen’s buggy. She felt as if a big weight had been lifted from her shoulders.“That’s the neighbor you were mentioning earlier?”
Stephen nodded.“Ja, her daed is right sick with a bad flu. Could hardly get out of bed this week. I offered to help with the milking. Seemed like the neighborly thing to do.”
“Of course,”Priscilla said and nodded emphatically, fighting the shadow of shame that threatened to wash over her for having been jealous and doubting Stephen.
“I was there last evening milking the cows. Just as I was leaving, Susie asked if I could take her to the market for the apples. I felt I couldn’t say no,”he explained, his eyes meeting Priscilla’s.“That’s why I haven’t been over to you, Priscilla. I’ve been busy helping the Bylers.”He paused before he lowered his voice and added,“And I certainly haven’t been calling on Susie or anyone else but you.”