by Sarah Price
She wished that she could tell the bishop the truth, that Susie had spread those lies on purpose, to tell him about how Stephen had been helping Jacob Byler and Susie had decided to tell everyone that he was calling on her. However, Priscilla refused to stoop to Susie’s level. She wasn’t about to try to ruin anyone’s reputation, even someone as mean as Susie Byler. After all, Priscilla knew that wishes of ill-doing on others often returned to the sender. The Bible was clear about that. Wasn’t it in the Book of Esther when Haman was hung from the very gallows that he had constructed in order to kill Mordechai?
“I see,”the bishop said, tugging at his beard. It was clear that he was perplexed by this new bit of information.“I’ll have to pray on this, Priscilla.”
He turned around to leave. Priscilla stared at his back as thoughts flooded through her mind. That wasn’t the way that she anticipated the conversation progressing. Indeed, she had wanted to talk to him about attending the upcoming instructional for spring baptism. She had also wanted to talk to him about how to handle Susie’s jealousy. But she had never intended to mention Susie’s name. Instead, Priscilla had been caught off guard by the bishop’s comments about her behavior.
Her eyes burned and she fought the tears that touched the corners of her eyes. Wiping at them, she looked around the room, hoping that no one had witnessed their discussion. No one seemed to have noticed the stern lecture that Priscilla had received from the bishop. Thankful for that small miracle, Priscilla tried to take a deep breath before slipping out the back door into the cold air for a moment alone in order to compose herself before she had to face the women once again.
Chapter Nine
For the next few days, Priscilla seemed to move about in a daze. She was still hurt that the bishop would have believed Susie Byler’s complaint and not questioned her further or checked with her family. Having talked to him, Priscilla didn’t feel any better. He was still doubtful and that bothered her. After all, for her entire life, she had done everything she could to prove herself as a good member of the Amish community. She had been looking forward to her baptism the next fall so that she could finally be an official member of the church.
“What’s ailing you?”her mammasked.“That’s the third time I’ve caught you daydreaming today, daughter.”
Priscilla shook her head, dismissing any thoughts of the bishop and Susie Byler.“I’m sorry, Mamm. Just a lot on my mind.”
“You still thinking about that girl?”Mamm asked, eyeing Priscilla.
Her shoulders fell and the tears began to well up in her eyes.“I’m so worried, Mamm.”
Her mammfrowned, her lips pressed together in a tight line.“I see,”she said.“Why don’t you sit down? I’ll make you a nice cup of tea and we can talk, ja? Sometimes a little talking can make everything a lot better.”
Priscilla collected her thoughts as she sat at the long table, waiting for her mammto join her. She needed those few minutes to grasp what, exactly, was bothering her the most. She had spoken the truth: she was worried. She just didn’t know what to expect from Susie’s complaint to the bishop.
Setting the cup of tea before her daughter, Mamm sat down at the chair that was normally reserved for Daed. She smoothed some crumbs from the top of the tablecloth and looked over at her daughter.“What’s eating at you, Priscilla?”
“Oh Mamm,”Priscilla started, the tears now falling freely down her cheeks.“I just don’t understand how this girl can make up such lies! How can she call herself a follower of Christ if she can act so unchristian?”
Mamm sighed.“I thought that might be the problem.”
“I don’t understand why she is constantly picking on me,”Priscilla said, wiping at her tears.“I didn’t provoke her, I hardly even knew her. She just keeps looking for ways to make me look bad or hurt my standing within the community.”
“She is doing that, indeed,”Mamm nodded.
Priscilla continued.“And I’m worried about Stephen. He works so hard and has such a good reputation. I don’t want her damaging him or, even worse, forcing him to choose between his image as a good Amish man and his feelings for me.”
“That could happen, ja”Mamm said softly.
“And the bishop!”Priscilla said.“I am hurt that he just accepted Susie Byler’s accusation at face value without investigating further. I’ve been a part of this community far longer than she has. I have never done anything harmful to anyone. It hurt me that he was so quick to reprimand me without considering other angles.”
“I can see where that would be hurtful,”Mamm agreed.
Priscilla frowned and looked at her mother. It dawned on her that her mammhad been merely listening to her but not offering any advice.“What should I do?”
“What can you do, daughter? You can’t control any of these situations, now, can you?”her mammasked softly.“Don’t you believe that God will watch over you? Perhaps this is a test of your faith in Him.”
“A test?”Priscilla asked, her eyes opening wide. She had never thought of it that way.
“Ja, a test,”Mamm replied.“You can’t change the outcome of any of these situations. But you can believe in God and that He knows what He is doing. I have always believed that there is a reason for everything. Sometimes situations don’t seem to present those reasons right up front.”She hesitated, her finger tracing an imaginary line on the tabletop.“I don’t speak of this much but you know that I lost a baby before you and Jonas were born.”
This was news, indeed.“Oh Mamm! I never knew!”
Mamm shrugged.“Ja, was a stillborn,”she said. Her eyes seemed to darken as she traveled back in time to that terrible day.“I was so upset. Just devastated, as you can imagine. Your daed was right gut to me but it took me time to get past the fact that God would take one of my precious babies.”
“I’m so sorry,”Priscilla whispered.
Mamm lifted her eyes and stared at Priscilla.“You shouldn’t be,”she said sternly.
The tone of her voice startled Priscilla and she jumped at the words.“Whatever do you mean?”
“Think about it, Priscilla,”her mammsaid.“If that baby had lived, I wouldn’t have had Jonas and most likely you would not have been born. I might have had other babies, but they would have been different babies, not my Jonas and my Priscilla!”Mamm smiled softly.“I often think that God took that baby so that I could have you and your brother. It was a hard sacrifice, but, like Abraham with Isaac, who are we to question God?”
A light dawned within Priscilla. She began to understand what her mammwas saying.“Good can come out of evil,”she whispered.
Mamm took a deep breath.“I’d like to think so,”she said. She smiled at her daughter.“And I would add that Susie Byler and her jealous accusations will eventually backfire on her. No one can live with the burden of such lies and hatred without being found out, Priscilla. Trust your mammon that one.” She reached over and placed her hand over Priscilla’s.“And know that your daedand I are very proud of you and how you have conducted yourself during these ordeals.”
“Danke, Mamm,”Priscilla said.“That means a lot to me.”
“And I suspect that you have nothing to fear with that Stephen Esh,”her mammadded.“He’s a gutman with his intentions set on one thing.”She paused and stared at her daughter.“You.”
For a moment, neither spoke. Priscilla was thinking about what her mamm had said. Deep down, she knew that Stephen seemed serious about her and had made it clear that he was willing to wait for her. But she had been totally unaware that so many other people knew about his intentions. Usually courting was kept private. Clearly, with Stephen being so much older and established, there were many eyes watching him to see where his heart would land. And it appeared to have landed in her hands.
“Now,”Mamm said, breaking the awkward moment of silence,“We need to start preparing for Saturday. The women will be coming over for quilting, ja? And we certainly cannot have the house looking like we don’t clean it, now, can we?” She
stood up and glanced around the room.“And with Elsie’s kinner coming over on Friday, we will need to keep them outside so that they don’t mess up the kitchen even more than usual!”
Priscilla didn’t have to ask what needed to be done. Instead, she set to work to make certain that the floorboards were clean and the furniture dusted. She enjoyed working alongside her mamm in the house. Cleaning was one of her favorite chores because the house sparkled when they were finished and it smelled wunderbaar gut! Even more importantly, she knew that the time she spent with her mammwas special. She was learning how to care for the home, something she’d be doing for her own family someday. And, according to her mamm, that day might actually be much sooner than she had anticipated.
It was a thought that warmed her on the inside and put a smile on her face as she worked her way around the house.
Chapter Ten
On Saturday morning, Priscilla stared at the quilt stretched across the large wooden frame. It was truly a beautiful quilt and the pattern was rather different. She knew that it would take several more gatherings before the quilt top was completed. She imagined that it would be finished by the end of January, if the weather was good. By February, they would be focusing on binding the edges. Then, it would be folded up and packed away in her hope chest. Just in time for the beginning of field preparations for spring plowing, seeding and planting, she realized.
When the women arrived, Priscilla greeted each one enthusiastically while Mamm took their wraps. The day was chilly and many of the older women had worn their black capes over their dresses. There had been an early snow and several inches covered the ground. But it was unusual to get snow so early in the winter. Priscilla wondered if they would have a white Christmas this year.
By ten-thirty, there were eight women seated around the quilting frame, needles in their fingers and thread on their laps. Priscilla sat between her mammand Lizzie, listening to the women share their family stories and some community gossip. She loved to hear their laughter and listen to their casual banter. Usually at church, the conversation was more reserved and formal. There was also a lot of work to do in serving all of the congregants so there wasn’t as much time for socializing. So the quilting bee was a wonderful time to get caught up and share with each other in a less formal fashion.
“I heard the Bylers are having their own quilting bee,”Lydia mentioned, her eyes shifting over to Priscilla’s for just a split second. When Priscilla looked up, Lydia averted her eyes.“Seems Jacob’s daughter is preparing her own wedding quilt.”
Lizzie scoffed.“Going to be in her hope chest for quite a while, if she keeps acting up the way she does.”
An older woman named Mildred gasped,“Lizzie Miller!”
Lizzie frowned and lifted up her tired blue eyes, staring across the quilt at Mildred.“It’s true and we all know about it. There’s a firefly in the room and no one is recognizing it. Instead, we’re just chasing it!”Lizzie paused long enough to turn her gaze around the room.“We all know what she has been saying about Priscilla. It’s time the community did something about it.”She lowered her head back to the quilt.“That child needs some help and if we don’t help her, who will then?”
“Her parents aren’t helping, that’s for sure and certain”Lydia added under her breath.
Mamm clucked her tongue.“I would rather not hear such talk over my daughter’s wedding quilt. Brings bad luck!”
Lizzie waved her hand at Mamm dismissively.“Bad luck is that girl saying that Priscilla’s quilt was a stolen pattern.”There was a collective silence among the women as if they were all holding their breath.“I’ve seen this pattern before. I happen to know that it’s uncommon because of how complicated it is. But it’s a pattern that has graced many beds throughout the years. Claiming to steal a pattern! Such nonsense!”
“Lizzie,”Mamm said softly, an unspoken warning in her voice.
Priscilla lowered her eyes, her heart pounding. On the one hand, she was glad that people were defending her. Yet, she still felt horrible for Susie Byler. Now that people in the community knew what Susie was saying, her reputation was truly soiled and it would, indeed, be hard for her to find a marital bed to cover with her own wedding quilt.
“Perhaps we should sing?”Priscilla offered quietly. She glanced around the quilting frame at the other women and, with relief, noticed that several were nodding their heads. They, too, were eager to move onto a different subject. It seemed that Susie Byler was a topic that no one really wanted to discuss.
“You pick a song from the Ausbund, Priscilla,”Lizzie invited, resting her weathered hand atop Priscilla’s.“It’s your quilting and I want to hear your lovely voice.”
Everyone nodded eagerly in agreement. Quickly, Priscilla thought for a moment, trying to think of a hymn that could change the tone of the quilting back to fellowship and joy. A smile crossed her lips as Song 95 came to her mind. With a soft voice, she began to sing the first line and the other women joined in as they sung:
With pleasure and joy I will sing praises to God,
Unto the Father good, my Spirit does strive thereafter,
For He my heart does gladden,
And with His grace stands by me always.
O Lord God, You have chosen me through grace
On this earth and numbered me among Your children.
Therefore Your name is praised,
All my life I give thanks to You.
Your glory I cannot magnify enough,
That You will not hold me accountable for sin anymore,
You take me on as Your child,
For this I thank You with a heartfelt desire. [6]
When the group of women had stopped singing, Priscilla looked around at their faces. There was a feeling of peace about the room as the words from the Ausbund hymn reverberated in the silence. It was as if the surrounding walls had captured the essence of the hymn and had everyone present basking in its comforting outreach. Mamm looked over at Priscilla and, despite her attempts to hide it, she was clearly proud of her daughter. Her face glowed and there was a hint of tears at the corners of her eyes.
“Lovely choice,”Lydia finally said, her voice catching in her throat.
Priscilla flushed and turned her attention back to the quilt. Her song had worked to change the tone of the quilting bee. The women began to share stories again and there was no more talk about the quilt pattern or Susie Byler. Instead, the focus was on family stories about children and grandchildren, crops and cows. She took a deep breath, pleased in the way the conversation had shifted.
It was noon when the younger girls showed up. Priscilla noticed that it was only Polly, Sarah, and Anna who arrived to help with the quilt. She was glad to see her friends but disappointed that none of the other young girls had arrived. She greeted her three friends and glanced back at the older women who were still bent over the quilting frame.
“I suspect no one else is coming?”she whispered.
Polly shook her head.“They are all believing Susie,”she admitted.“I don’t understand the hold that she has over these people.”
With a sigh, Priscilla tried to smile.“I’d rather have three true friends beside me than ten false ones.”The words sounded nice and she did believe it. Yet, it stung that other young women that she had considered friends had turned their backs on her.
Sarah gave her a quick hug.“It will all be fine,”Sarah said as she pulled back.“People will soon learn the truth about Susie Byler.”
Anna raised an eyebrow.“Mayhaps sooner than you think. I overheard my daed talking to the bishop,”she said. Priscilla always forgot that Anna’s uncle was the bishop of their district.“He’s none too happy about any of this. Says it’s dividing the community.”
Polly nodded.“That it is.”
Sarah shook her head.“She just needs to leave you alone, Priscilla. I don’t know why she has such a bee in her bonnet toward you.”
Before Priscilla could answer, Polly responded with a hand wave and
rolling of her eyes.“Oh, please! Of course we know why! Susie is just outrageously jealous of Priscilla. The more Priscilla ignores Susie’s antics, the more infuriated Susie becomes. It will be her downfall.”
“Like Haman,”Anna said.
The other girls nodded in agreement.“Like Haman,”Polly affirmed.“Now, let’s have no more talk of that wicked girl and let’s enjoy this quilting bee. That’s why we are here, ain’t so? Let’s not empower Susie Byler with our thoughts and conversation but enjoy each other’s company.”
Priscilla smiled, feeling better already.“Now that is something I can agree with!”
Despite the fact that there were so few young women attending the quilting bee that day, Priscilla thought it was the most special day. Her good friends had showed up, demonstrating their support for Priscilla. Polly’s wisdom was well put. Priscilla would not empower Susie Byler anymore.
Chapter Eleven
For the next week, Priscilla helped her Mamm at home. The upcoming church Sunday was to be held at their house and Mamm insisted that every piece of furniture be moved so that the floors were scrubbed by hand and baseboards oiled so that they shone. Despite having cleaned the house the week before, Priscilla didn’t complain. She knew how her mamm felt about having a spotless house.
“Cleanliness is next to godliness,”she would always say.
By Thursday, Mamm insisted that Jonas and David move the quilting frame out of the gathering room. Carefully, they disassembled what they could and moved it into the downstairs master bedroom. In order to get it into the room, the bed had to be disassembled. It was a major production and Priscilla felt pangs of guilt that so much trouble had to be made on behalf of her quilt.