by Zoe York
“There are neighbours to the south and north, but their houses are closer to the highway, in the woods. I don’t think they’re even aware I come out here. This is probably the first time in years I’ve parked a truck in the lane.”
“Did you always hike in?”
“Yeah.” He tapped his cane on the ground and gazed into the distance. “More often I ran it. The snowmobile trail is great for running.”
“The wet forest!” She snapped her fingers. “That’s what you said you’d missed the most.”
He nodded. “Yep.”
Damn it, she’d slid them into some melancholy territory. No more sadness. “And I said—”
“Bubble baths.” He grinned at the trees ahead of them. “None of those out here.”
“I’ll have one when we get home tomorrow.”
He turned his whole body around and gave her an inscrutable look. “I like that.”
“The bubble bath plan?”
“Sure. But the way you call it home.”
She stepped forward, then again, until she was right against him. “That’s because it is my home.” It’s where you are. But that would be too much sentimentality for this day.
He gave her a quick hug before he changed the subject to gathering wood for dinner.
Later, after grilled mushrooms and smoky chicken thighs that had the crispiest, most perfect skin she’d ever tasted, Jenna made them makeshift s’mores for dessert as they watched the sun set over the meadow.
Instead of graham crackers, she was sandwiching the ooey, gooey, melty goodness between two chocolate chip cookies.
“I didn’t even know we had marshmallows in the house,” Sean said as he licked the remnants of his first one off his fingers. “And I will totally have another if you’re offering.”
“Of course.” He didn’t eat a lot of dessert. If he had a secret marshmallow addiction, that was good information to file away. “And I just bought them yesterday. Fate.”
She made him two more, then set down her official marshmallow roasting stick and sat back next to him on the smooth, worn log behind the fire pit to enjoy her own second helping.
The fire snapped and crackled, and in the distance, an owl cried out. Hoot. There were a lot of other forest noises, too. The rustling of little animals moving through the brush, a breeze shifting the tops of the trees back and forth.
All of it was perfect.
“This is exactly what I needed today,” she said quietly as she finished her cookies.
She turned her head and gave Sean a grateful smile.
He returned the expression then his gaze slowly slid to her mouth. She could feel her lips tremble under the weight of his attention. His eyelids hooded as he watched her, and her smile fell away.
His own mouth twisted into a rueful grimace. “I don’t want to rush anything between us.”
“No.” Her chest hurt as she nodded. “I understand that.”
He reached out and brushed his fingertips against her cheekbone. Light as air, but the simple touch shook her to her core. “But…”
Yes, she loved the sound of but.
She shifted closer, and he cupped her cheek. “Jenna…”
“Slow is smart,” she whispered. Her heart hammered against her ribs as his lips parted.
“Slow,” he repeated. “Slow can also be sexy.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JENNA GASPED, a sweet little mew, as Sean covered her mouth with his. Her lips were soft and warm and wet. And perfect.
She was so perfect as she broke against him. Her lips parted and he licked into her mouth, taking every inch he could get.
He’d been watching her all day. Wanting her too. Fresh air wasn’t a cure-all, but it did damn good things for his libido. There was nothing he liked more than spending a day outside, and sharing this private paradise with Jenna had felt so damn right.
Kissing her did too.
Kissing her made him feel like a man again. He could get drunk on the way she looked at him over s’mores.
He stormed ahead without a plan. In the back of his head, warning bells went off. What next, lover boy? You’ll kiss her, and then what?
He could…
There were things he could do.
He could get her off.
His gut twisted selfishly, and he hated himself for that reaction.
Not now. There wasn’t any room for self-loathing in this kiss.
He’d promised her sexy, and he wasn’t going to let her down. He pulled at her lower lip with his teeth. She smiled and he did it again, until she groaned, and then he dove back in again, tasting every inch of her sweetness. It had been too long. He was almost out of practice, but she was kissing him back. They made magic together. It didn’t matter that he was a different man now, that he had doubts and fears about what might come next.
Right now, he had this kiss, and he was going to blow her mind with it.
Soon. Soon he would take more than a kiss, and it wouldn’t matter if he…
But right now, tonight, it mattered. Tonight, he only had kisses in him. He needed today to be only good things. Only successes. And if that made him weak and pathetic, he’d live with that. He’d been living with it this long, hadn’t he?
He kissed her once more, hard, for good measure.
Fuck, why didn’t his body work?
He tried to pour everything into this kiss. He made it desperate, apologetic. Tried to channel into it his regret and longing, his impotent need.
He kissed her until she shuddered, until she pulled away to drag in a ragged breath.
Then he eased back. He didn’t let go of her. He stroked her cheek, then tugged gently on her hair.
“That was definitely sexy,” she whispered as she dropped her head onto his shoulder.
He slid his arm around her and tried to figure out how to explain what was wrong with his body.
She’s a medical professional, she’ll understand. But it hurt him to have her think of him as a patient.
“How hot are those coals, do you think?”
He startled at the unexpected question. “Pretty hot.”
“Hot enough to make tea?” She didn’t move from where she was still leaning against him.
“Yep, I bet we could boil water.”
“I might like a cup before bed. You?”
And just like that, the opportunity was gone. “Sure. Thank you.”
JENNA’S FEELINGS were rioting all over the place. She wanted to climb into Sean’s lap and kiss him again, but that was the opposite of slow.
It had been barely fifteen hours since she’d crawled out of his bed feeling confused and frustrated.
Brakes. On.
Tea on too.
Her hands shook as she emptied a water bottle into the sauce pan and careful set it onto the cast iron grill.
Sean’s campsite was really well equipped considering it had been abandoned for almost a year. He had two different grills to go over the fire pit, and set back into the forest was a locked shed, inside which were pots and pans, tarps and rope, garbage bags, flares, and a crack-in-case-of-emergency first aid kit.
When the water boiled, she used the oven mitt and pulled the pot off the fire. Carefully, she filled their camp mugs then added tea bags.
“Jenna…” There were a million different ways he said her name. As a caution, as a prayer, as a tease. Sometimes an endearment, sometimes a question. Right now, she didn’t know where he was going with it.
“This is chamomile,” she said. “Calming.”
He chuckled under his breath. “Okay.”
She couldn’t resist that laugh, though. She turned to look at him.
His brows were furrowed, but he was smiling.
“What?”
“You really want to know?” That was definitely teasing.
“Yes.” Her pulse zoomed. No. Yes. Yes.
“Do you think…” He trailed off, then cleared a frog from his throat and tried again. “This is going to so
und random.”
“I like random.” Random meant secret-sharing again, and she’d missed that so much.
“I had an idea last night. When I was playing with Calvin. I might like to get into personal training. Coaching, really. Find people who want to get more serious about distance running and help them get to the next level.”
That wasn’t where she thought he was going…it was way better. “Yeah. That’s brilliant. You should totally do that.”
“It’ll take time.”
“We’ve got nothing but time.”
“I meant to tell you last night, but I passed out when I lay down.”
Her smile felt warm and real and very big. “You do that.”
“You really don’t mind, do you?” He gave her a curious look at that.
She shook her head. “I really, really don’t. Rest is so crucial to recovery. Normally I’m saying that to new moms, encouraging them to stay in bed with their baby and let other people just take care of them. But I’m sure it applies to you too. When you’re sleeping…this is going to make me sound like a creeper, but I like to watch you.”
He laughed out loud. “Okay.”
“Like if you’re on the couch. You’re cute.”
“Mm hmm.”
“I don’t stand in your room and watch you sleep.” She grinned at him. “Promise.”
He held her gaze. “I wouldn’t mind if you did.”
They bumped shoulders, and he slung his arm around her again as they drank their tea.
Once the fire was out, they climbed into the tent. Sean had zipped their sleeping bags together, and they changed into their pyjamas together in the dark before sliding under the covers.
It was sweet and intimate and wonderful, and Jenna sank into the drowsy loveliness of it all. But she didn’t drift off, and after a while, she realized Sean’s breathing hadn’t changed, either.
“You’re not asleep.”
“No.”
“You usually fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.”
“Mmm.”
“Everything okay?”
His hand found hers in the dark, his arm brushing against her hip. “Everything is great.”
She squeezed back. “Good.”
There was a long stretch of silence. “I was thinking about that day. When I was injured.”
Her breath froze in her chest. Oh. She squeezed his hand again because words weren’t possible.
“You were the first thing I thought of that morning when I woke up. And the last thing I thought of as everything went black.”
Oh, God.
She started to shake. That’s what she felt first, the tremor. Not the tears. She didn’t realize she was crying until Sean was running his thumbs over her cheeks. He brushed her slick skin as he murmured words she couldn’t make out, and he pressed his forehead to hers. “Please. God, I’m so sorry. Please, Jenna. Don’t cry. Let me fix this. I’m sorry…”
She leaned into him as the dam burst, and he wrapped her in his arms. Arms he’d spent all summer bulking up.
Arms she never thought she’d feel again, not like this.
“I missed you so much,” she whispered, her voice hitching as she pressed into him, her face into his neck, her hands sliding around his waist to hold him right back. “I’m sorry. I can’t stop—” she hiccupped and squeezed him harder as a new wave of tears fell.
He groaned into her hair. “It’s okay. You can cry. It’s okay…”
“I haven’t been crying.” She yanked herself back together and eased back. Sean fumbled in the dark then his phone lit up, the flashlight app shining onto the ceiling of the tent.
She furiously swiped at her cheeks. “This is—”
He caught her wrists and gently stilled her hands. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not.” But as she said it, she realized how silly that sounded. Of course it was fine. She exhaled in a wobbly, weak fashion, and blinked up at him, her eyelashes wet and sticking together.
She puffed out her cheeks on the next breath, and he gave her a small smile. “You were holding that in for months, weren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“You are brave and strong and so beautiful,” he said, his voice rough. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She shook her head. “Oh, Sean.” She kissed him softly. She was still trembling and felt all shaky inside. “We’ve veered off course a bit, I think. That’s all.”
“It hasn’t helped that we’ve been avoiding the difficult topics, though.”
She nodded. She’d definitely been doing that.
“I’ll share more secrets,” he whispered into her hair as she pressed her face into his neck. “Like how much I’ve missed you too.”
FOR THE SECOND morning in a row, Jenna woke up next to Sean. This time she was cold, and without thinking, she moved closer to him.
As he had the afternoon before, he wrapped his arm around her and held on tight.
Maybe the trick to sleeping together was doing it outside, in multiple layers of wool and flannel.
She felt renewed. Steady and happy and very much in the right place, with the right man.
And holy crap, did she need to pee.
“Sean,” she whispered.
“Mmm.”
“What are the chances I’ll run into a bear if I go to pee in the woods?”
He laughed sleepily. “Not high. Make noise.”
“Okay.” She didn’t move. There was something different about heading out alone into the forest in the early dawn.
“You want me to come with you?”
“Yes, please.”
He kissed the side of her head. “Fine. I’m up. And then we can strike camp and go to Mac’s for a hot breakfast.”
They took their time hiking out.
Sean closed his eyes as he settled in the passenger seat. She leaned across the seat and brushed a kiss against his cheek. “You okay?” she murmured.
“Yep.” Which meant no, but she didn’t push him. He never complained about the vertigo and tinnitus, but she knew both were background, constant bothers he was learning to live with, live through.
He kept his eyes closed until they pulled into the parking lot at Mac’s. Then he took her hand and squeezed. “Breakfast, then home for a nap?”
Her heart might burst from the simple joy of it. “Sounds perfect.”
The diner was packed, and there weren’t any Fosters present, but the Minellis were well-represented.
Holding her hand, Sean led her to two booths in the corner where Rafe was trying to convince Sophia to try a hash brown—no go—and across the table, Zander Minelli and his step-son, Eric, were showing her how much they loved their breakfast. Sean exchanged handshakes with both men as Sophia threw herself at Jenna for a hug. In the booth next to them, Olivia and Faith, Zander’s wife, were sitting with Chloe and Tom.
Sean gave his friend a grin. “You got the good seat,” he said.
Tom groaned. “And now Chloe’s going to kick me out so Jenna can sit here.”
Sean wrapped his arm around her waist. “I was planning on sitting next to her at our own booth.”
Chloe protested, and tried to shove Tom out of the booth anyway, but just then the third booth in the row cleared out, and Jenna gave her friend a weak shrug. “What are you going to do?” she said, laughing as she slid into the booth first. Sean joined her on the same side.
“Lovebirds,” Chloe muttered as she gave them a thumbs up.
Tom grabbed his plate and swung around to join them in the newly opened up booth. “I’m sitting with you guys now.”
“So much for our private breakfast,” Sean murmured against her ear.
She twisted to give him a little smile. “Did you really think that was going to happen here?”
“Probably not.”
Their chatter paused briefly as the waitress showed up with coffee, which they gratefully accepted, and menus, which they didn’t need, and they placed their orders imm
ediately. Mushroom omelet and turkey sausage for Sean, French toast and bacon for Jenna.
Tom asked for more coffee and reminded the waitress of an order he’d previously placed for an urn of coffee to go. He turned back to Sean. “Search and Rescue Team training in the middle of the woods.”
Sean laughed. “And you’re bringing hot coffee with you. Nice touch.”
“Yeah. I’m going to be suggesting something they’re going to balk at, so I’m bribing them. I’ve got cookies in the car, too.”
“What’s the new idea?”
Tom sighed. “I’m still working on the language. Basically, I want them to have workout buddies, but if I call it that, it’ll be a non-starter. As a group, our fitness level could be lifted, basically. To improve our function in rescues.”
Jenna heard a lot of stuff not being said there. She was pretty sure Tom’s group was a volunteer organization, though, so maybe his hands were tied.
Sean groaned and waved his hand. “Same problem we face with the unit, right? Barely meeting the minimum standards on a PT test doesn’t cut it when you need to haul your team mate out of a fire zone.”
Tom nodded. “Or do a rapid descent down a cliff face.”
“I feel your pain, brother. The answer is always better recruitment in the long run, but in the short run, there are things you can do to set your current team members up to want to compete to stay on the squad.”
“Yeah?”
Jenna took a secret look at Tom. She didn’t think this was a setup, which made it all the better because an organic need for Sean was perfect. She slid her glance sideways at Sean, and kept looking at him, eyebrow raised, until he noticed.
“What?” he said, in a carefully guarded way that told her he knew exactly why she was looking at him.
“You could help,” she whispered.
Tom leaned in. “What’s this now?”
“Nothing,” Sean said.
“Not nothing.” Jenna squeezed his hand below the table. But she didn’t say anything else.
Sean chuckled under his breath as he stared into his coffee Then he slowly lifted his head again and looked at Tom. “Well…I was thinking about hanging my shingle as a running coach. Maybe leverage some of my experiences—”
“Done. Yes. We want to use and abuse your knowledge.”