by Penny Jordan
She bent her head, her lips poised to breathe a tender kiss against it. But Luke's harsh objection savaged the silence, and suddenly she was rolled underneath him, pinned there by the hard weight of his body whilst he stilled her soft sounds of pleasure with the savage heat of his mouth.
She shouldn't be doing this, Suzy knew. Luke did not love her as she did him. But how could she stop? How could she resist the need that was filling her, overruling reason and pride? She loved him! She wanted him! And right now nothing else mattered other than that he was holding her.
As his hands sculpted Suzy's body Luke told himself that it was for the last time. He cupped her breasts, savouring the malleability of them. He wanted to kiss them, lick them, pleasure them until she arched under him and writhed against him in hungry need. He wanted…
'No!'
Abruptly he released Suzy and stood up, his back to her as he stared out of the window.
Suzy waited, whilst her heart jerked in pain, and then, when he didn't move, she picked up her towel, wrapped it around herself and walked silently into the bathroom so that she could cry her eyes out under cover of the noise of the running shower.
Oh, why hadn't she stopped him before he had rejected her?
Outside in the bedroom Luke touched the scar on his side. She had touched it, kissed it, looked at him with luminous loving eyes.
She didn't love him, he reminded himself. She just thought she did. She just believed she did because she thought he had saved her life! If she did love him she would have known it before that time in the grotto, just as he had known he loved her.
But love could grow, Luke told himself fiercely. And if Suzy believed that she loved him then who was to say that she might not in time—?
No, Luke told himself savagely. No. He would not do that to her. He would not lock her into a relationship that denied her the right to love freely. He could not.
He could not bear to let her go—but he had to for her own sake!
* * *
The first thing Suzy saw when she woke up was the small package on the bedside table. Picking it up, she opened it. Inside was her passport and her flight ticket, plus a generous amount of euros.
Tears filled her eyes as she carefully removed the money and put it down on the bedside table.
She had breakfast in her room—though there was no need for her to feel so anxious, she assured herself miserably. Luke wasn't likely to come in and say goodbye, so there was no risk of her flinging herself into his arms and telling him how much she loved him, begging him to give her a chance.
A chance? Did she really think there was one after the way he had rejected her last night—even though his body had wanted her? That could only mean that he didn't love her. She knew that!
There was nothing for her to linger for. She had already said her goodbyes to the children, and to Sir Peter, and given him her thanks for their hospitality.
'Will you come and see us at school?' Lucy had begged Suzy, tears in her eyes as she hugged her fiercely.
'Of course I will,' Suzy had assured her.
Poor little scraps! They had so much in material terms, and yet so very little in all the ways that mattered.
She stayed upstairs until she saw the taxi arriving from her bedroom window, and then she went down, carrying her small case with her.
The children were waiting to wave her off, wearing the clothes they had bought together. Suzy had to blink away tears as she hugged them and promised again to keep in touch.
Unable to stop herself, she looked towards the closed door to Luke's office, willing him to come out. But to what purpose? The only thing she really wanted him to say was, Please don't go! followed by, I love you! And she was not likely to hear him say those words, was she? Forcing a wan smile, Suzy gave the children one last kiss and then walked out to her taxi.
Standing in front of the window of his small office, Luke watched her. He had been deliberately avoiding her—why make problems for himself? Why put himself in a situation he already knew he couldn't fully control? She was opening the taxi door. By the time he took one deep breath and counted to ten she would be gone.
One deep breath…
He flung open the door to his office and raced towards the front door. He had almost reached it when Sir Peter suddenly emerged from his own office and called out urgently to him, 'Luke—quick! I need you. The Prime Minister's on the phone, Njambla's people have been back in touch. The meeting's on again.'
For a second Luke was tempted to ignore him—breaking one of his own unbreakable rules—but he could hear the taxi door closing, and his conscience was telling him that he had to let her go. His face stripped of expression, he turned away from the front door and walked towards Sir Peter.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SUZY had read the breaking story about a certain African President's meeting in Italy over her breakfast, not long after her departure from the villa—the same morning, in fact, as the post had brought her another letter advising her that regretfully its senders could not offer her a job with them.
Following her return home, she had written to every library and organisation she could think of, determined to pursue her dream of finding work as a trainee archivist. But it was a narrow field, with very few vacancies.
'You mustn't give up,' Kate had told her firmly.
'I don't want to,' Suzy had admitted. 'But it's not an easy market to break into, and at my age—'
'Your age?' Kate had shaken her head chidingly.
'For heaven's sake, Suzy, you aren't old!'
'I'm not twenty-one, and just down from university,' Suzy had reminded her ruefully. 'Potential employers want to know what I've been doing for the last few years, and why I didn't finish my degree first time round.'
'What? You were nursing your mother,' Kate had defended indignantly.
'And then there's the fact that I left the magazine—and I don't have any references from them.'
'They were subjecting you to sexual harassment,' Kate had argued, but Suzy had been able to see from her friend's expression that Kate knew that things did not look good for her.
'Still, there is somewhere I can get a job,' Suzy had told Kate cheerfully.
'Yes—with us,' Kate had replied promptly.
Even though she was grateful to her friend, Suzy had shaken her head. 'No, Kate. You know that I won't take charity,' she had told her gently. 'I was referring to the supermarket—I've worked there before.'
'Suzy, you don't need to do that!' Kate had protested. 'You know we'd love to have you working for us.'
'Kate, you told me yourself only last week that you were struggling to find enough work for the part-time girl you've already got,' Suzy reminded her. 'No. The supermarket will be fine!' she had told her, and she had meant it.
She felt very guilty about the fact that she had said nothing to Kate about either Luke or her time at the villa. But somehow she had just not been able to bring herself to do so…
* * *
'I hate this job. I've only been working here a week and it feels like for ever. And as for that supervisor—she's more like a prison warden!'
Suzy smiled sympathetically at the pouting teenage girl sitting grumpily at the till next to her own.
'It's okay once you get used to it,' she assured her, whilst privately acknowledging that she could understand her dislike of their supervisor, whom Suzy thought was a bit of a bully.
The supervisor apart, though, Suzy quite enjoyed working on the supermarket checkout—After nearly three months she actually had her own regular customers, who favoured her till—old ladies, in the main, who were lonely and appreciated the fact that Suzy did not rush them and had time to listen to them.
The bullying supervisor didn't approve. She constantly hectored Suzy about the time she spent listening, complaining that Suzy wasn't pulling her weight because she wasn't dealing with as many customers as some of the other girls. She had urged Suzy to discourage them.
'But th
ey're lonely,' Suzy had protested.
'So what? We aren't here to provide them with someone to talk to!' the supervisor had told Suzy angrily. 'And it's not as though they spend very much. Just a few bits and pieces, that's all.'
'They like coming in because they can go to the coffee shop,' Suzy had responded. But her defence of her elderly customers had only infuriated the supervisor all the more.
'Yes, and they'll go in there and sit all day if they can, just drinking one cup of tea!' she had snorted grimly.
Suzy tried not to think about her supervisor. She needed this job because she needed the money. They had had a good summer, so at least she hadn't had to spend money keeping the flat heated. Every penny counted now—she had even thought of applying to the council for an allotment. Fresh air and fresh food would be good for her—
She checked her thoughts and she looked down at the small bulge of her stomach. To say that it had been a shock to discover that she was pregnant was more than an understatement!
Of course the discovery of her pregnancy had meant that she'd had to come clean to Kate about Luke, and although she had been surprised, her friend was being wonderfully supportive.
Luke's baby!
A soft absorbed look filled Suzy's eyes followed by a flash of fiery maternal protectiveness. Unlike her own mother, she was not going to bring her baby up in an atmosphere of misery and complaint. But if her baby was a girl, Suzy had decided she would warn her against falling for a man like her father!
Her doctor had assured her that everything was fine and normal—single motherhood didn't raise any eyebrows or comments any more—and now that she had got used to the fact that she was pregnant Suzy was thrilled and excited. But not as thrilled and excited as she would have been if she had been sharing things with Luke—a Luke who loved her…
Now she was entering fantasyland, she derided herself. And what was more she was demeaning herself by even thinking about wanting to have him love her.
There was a lot of commotion and noise coming from the supervisor's office, which was behind her and several yards away, and in front of her at the checkout a young mother with a screaming toddler was struggling to unload her trolley.
Suzy smiled sympathetically, unable to stop herself from mentally fast-forwarding to the arrival of her baby. Money would be very tight, but she was determined that somehow she would manage.
There was still a lot of noise coming from behind her. She could hear the supervisor's voice raised in protest, and she could hear a man. A man? That was Luke's voice—she was sure of it.
* * *
Luke had had enough.
The last fourteen weeks had been the longest of his life. First he had told himself that he was a man of honour, and that as such he was honour-bound to leave Suzy to make a life for herself without him. Then he had told himself that it was only natural that he should check up on her to make sure she was okay after what she had been through.
Then he had admitted that if he did check up on her he was going find it damned hard to walk away—especially if she was still under the delusion that she loved him. And then finally he had admitted that there was no way he could live without her and that he had to see her again!
He had finished the contract he'd been working on, handed over his active role in their shared business to his partner, and announced that from now on he was going to be running the small estate he had inherited.
A hiccup in the children's recovery and their return to their homeland had added to the delay, making it fourteen weeks instead of the fourteen days he would have preferred before he was finally free to seek Suzy out.
When he had called round at her flat the woman who had the apartment below hers had informed him that she was at work. It had taken him an hour and a good deal of patience and flattery before she had finally given him the information that Suzy was working in a supermarket.
He had wasted another hour driving through the traffic to find it, and now this shrill-voiced woman was telling him that it was impossible for her to take Suzy off the till she was operating, and that if he wanted to see her he would have to wait until her shift was over.
Luke wasn't prepared to wait a single minute longer—not after having waited nearly four months—and so, ignoring the supervisor, he strode towards Suzy.
'Luke!' Suzy wasn't even aware that she had spoken his name, never mind stood up, to stare in disbelief as Luke strode towards her.
Then he stopped, his gaze going from her face to her body. He couldn't possibly tell, Suzy assured herself frantically. She was barely showing. Her bump was still relatively small. Even so her hand crept protectively towards it as she tried to cover it from him.
Shock and awe! Where had he heard those words before? Luke wondered, dazed. Certainly not in connection with what he was feeling right now. Suzy was pregnant! Suzy was having his baby!
Whilst the young mother watched in fascinated interest, Luke shifted his gaze from Suzy's stomach to her face.
'Go and get your things,' he commanded brusquely.
'My things?' Suzy gulped. 'What? I—'
'We're leaving—and now!' Luke told her fiercely.
Suzy told herself that she should refuse to have anything to do with him, but instead she heard herself protesting shakily, 'Luke, I can't just leave. I'm working. There's no reason—'
'There's every reason,' Luke corrected her savagely.
And before Suzy could stop him he had reached for her and placed his hand where hers had been, flat and hard against her belly, where his child was growing.
'There's this, for starters,' he told her thickly. 'My child. And if that isn't enough…'
Suddenly Suzy was conscious of the silence surrounding them. The curious looks of the customers and the angry face of her supervisor.
'If you leave this till now you will be in breach of your employment terms and your job could be at risk,' the supervisor was intoning.
'She'll be handing in her notice anyway,' Luke answered coldly.
Handing in her notice? Suzy glared at him.
'You can't say that!' she hissed, as Luke put his hand beneath her elbow and almost frogmarched her away from the till. 'I need this job, Luke.'
'What you need and what I need are not my prime concerns right now,' Luke told her flatly. 'Our child's needs are.'
He shouldn't be feeling like this, Luke told himself. He shouldn't be feeling triumphant, exuberant, delighted that the child Suzy was carrying—his child—meant that he had a logical and undeniable reason for forcing his way into her life. But he was!
Our child! Suzy could have wept.
Outside in the car park he bundled her into a large four-wheel drive vehicle and then got in himself. It was nearly four months since she had seen him. And he hadn't even looked at her properly, never mind attempted to touch her…kiss her…
'I've just got back from seeing the children,' Luke said to her. 'They're well enough to receive treatment from a hospital in their own country now, and their aunt has officially taken charge of them.'
'Oh, Luke, that's such good news,' Suzy responded in delight.
'Yes, it is,' he agreed quietly. 'Suzy, why didn't you let me know about the baby?'
'Let you know?' she stared at him. 'I…'
How could she tell him that she hadn't wanted him to feel responsible, that she hadn't wanted him to feel that she had deliberately allowed herself to become pregnant in order to trap him. He already knew how much she loved him, and she imagined that in a man's eyes a woman who became pregnant with his child after he had rejected her had to be doing so in order to force his hand.
She didn't feel she could tell him any of that, so instead, she simply said huskily, 'I…I just didn't think that it was necessary.'
Luke felt the pain of her words explode inside him.
'I heard from Peter the other day. He mentioned that you've kept in touch with the children,' he announced abruptly.
'Yes…yes, I have,' Suzy agreed. 'I fee
l so sorry for them. They need a woman in their lives who loves them. A stepmother, perhaps.'
As she spoke Suzy was thinking of the young woman Lucy had written to her about—the daughter of some older friends of Peter's who had taken quite an interest in Lucy and Charlie.
'Thinking of applying for the job yourself, are you?' Luke demanded harshly.
Suzy stared at him, his words coming as a shock after her own private thoughts.
'How could I?' She asked. 'I'm pregnant with your child.'