She’d been a size six her whole life—except for an intense period of time in her teenage years when she dropped down to a size three—but she complained to him she was now officially a size eight. On a shorter woman, that might have been an issue but Syd was tall; eight inches shorter than his height of six feet, four inches. The added weight fit perfectly for her height and gave her curvy look without appearing voluptuous or zaftig by any stretch of the imagination. He’d never really liked super skinny women and he thought she was beautiful.
Of course she blamed him and the birth control pills for her weight gain.
He was brought out of his contemplation by Grant who faced him along with a quietly panicking Will. “Where the fuck is Jaden?”
Kaz set down an acoustic guitar he wouldn’t be playing until the second part of their show. “He’s in the bathroom…with Faith. I assume they are fucking but if you want to interrupt them to find out, be my guest.”
It was a bit ironic to him that the two band members in front of him—complete and utter polar opposites to one another—were dating women who were siblings. Will was wild and carefree despite his innocent looks. He and Laurel were perfect for one another because they were the same type of people however when they did fight, it was pretty explosive due to them both being such passionate people.
Grant was quiet and contemplative despite the tattoos and diamond earring studs in both ears. He looked like the average rocker but he was incredibly intelligent and had been accepted into Stanford but turned it down because he truly believed in the band at the time. His family—solidly middle-class—had only recently forgiven him for not going to university now that he made so much money. He was smart enough to invest it and still had enough left over to pay for his younger sister’s—a gorgeous young woman by the name of Greta—college education at UCLA, buy his parents’ a new house in the ultra-expensive San Fernando Valley neighborhood of Encino Hills, and brand new vehicles for both his parents and Greta.
Sasha was intelligent and did her job a little too well because neither TMZ nor any of the other online or offline tabloid rags had gotten a whiff of the tensions going on in either group. They all looked like one big happy family and that’s how it was going to stay as far as Kaz was concerned. She babied Grant but it was nice to see a woman who seemed to truly care for him and wasn’t with him merely because he was a member of Scarlet Fever.
Sydney walked over to him and yet again, he was always surprised by the surge of emotions he felt every time he saw her. He wanted her to be the mother of his children and though he knew he would never marry again—at least not in his present lifetime—he innately knew she was the one. He’d felt it the night before after they’d made love.
Kaz’s thoughts weren’t just post-coital jibber-jabber; he truly felt strongly about her and although it wasn’t love yet, his emotions were quickly moving into that direction and what scared him most? Falling in love with her or having this mysterious, young ingénue leave him alone yet again with a string of women who didn’t give a fuck about him? He would never allow that to happen. True, he couldn’t stop her from physically leaving but he would make her life so comfortable she wouldn’t want to leave.
She smiled as she sat on his lap, her steel blue eyes brilliant in the mellow lighting. “You’re going to be great tonight, you know that, right?”
He breathed and closed his eyes. “I haven’t played in front of this many people in almost a year. I keep trying to psyche myself out that it isn’t any different from Miami or any other pre-gigs we played but this is the fucking Staples Center. This is the start of our concert season and I am scared to death.”
Sydney wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in closer, bathing him in her favorite scent, SJP NYC. “Listen to me. There are twenty thousand people out there and they are looking forward to seeing Scarlet Fever. They have been thoroughly warmed up by Winter’s Regret but you definitely are the main attraction. Don’t ever forget who you are and why they’re out there. They might not know you personally but they feel like they do and they just want you to perform.
“I would give anything to be just another fan out there waiting with bated breath and intense anticipation until you guys entered the stage. Four, beautiful, tattooed men who would make my heart race and my panties dampen with desire…but then I wouldn’t know the true you and I realize that isn’t worth giving up…not ever.”
Kaz gazed into her eyes before he looked at those gorgeous kissable lips. They were only covered with clear lip gloss because she decided to do dramatic eye makeup to bring out her gorgeous eyes. He kissed her passionately and as his tongue entered her mouth, she responded and pushed her barely clothed body against him.
“Get a room, you two!” Laurel shouted over the noise of Grant, Will and Sasha discussing a heated subject.
Ten minutes before they were due on stage, Jaden stumbled out of the bathroom with Faith. She, ever the perfectionist, looked amazingly put together; her silver-white skinny jeans fit her like a second skin and were paired with a black leather bustier with silver spikes and six-inch Christian Louboutin silver heels, his bandmate looked mussed and his clothes out of place.
“Clean up and look decent, Cocky,” Kaz said in a cold tone. “We go on in ten minutes, and we can’t have you looking like some homeless gypsy we pulled away from the nearest garbage can and a cheap bottle of liquor, especially since you’re the lead guitarist.”
Jaden glared at him with cool amber eyes and walked back into the bathroom before he slammed the door shut behind him. Kaz took the opportunity to approach Faith. She repaired lipstick that was already perfect and straightened a few stray strands of hair.
“What’s up, Kaz?” she inquired as she turned away from the mirror and faced him.
“Are you and my…old lady ever gonna get along again?”
Faith smiled only to reveal extraordinarily straight, white-bleached teeth. “Oh, is it too painful to admit she’s your girlfriend? Old lady? Has Scarlet Fever suddenly become an MC?”
He rolled his eyes at her sudden sarcasm. If he didn’t know any better, he would have been mistaken she was perhaps as high as her boyfriend.
“It’s nice to know you don’t give a shit about a friendship that has lasted almost your whole life. Now, all the sudden, Sydney is the enemy? What exactly has she done to you that has made you dislike her so much?”
Faith laughed out loud and now he was positive she was high as a kite. He wondered what kind of drug cocktail Jaden had given her.
“What has she done? Well, first of all, she’s upset the balance of the group for one. You’re obviously distracted and pussy-whipped. You aren’t the person you were before that damned birthday party. I told you to fuck her and forget her but did you listen to my advice? No, you didn’t. Syd needed to be brought off that high horse of hers and you just handed her carte blanche on a silver platter instead. Now she’s your girlfriend and you care about her so much. That wasn’t part of the deal, Kaz, and what you did is not cool,” she explained in a rational voice despite her being under some kind of pharmaceutical influence.
“It was a fuckin’ joke, Faith. I didn’t realize you took it so seriously. I would have fucked and left her if she proved to be as vacuous as you told me she was. You described her to have as much depth as Paris Hilton and that isn’t true at all. She is actually a fascinating and extremely intellectual human being. I am a better person because I know her and have grown very fond of her. The game is over so either you accept she is officially part of my life now or you can go to hell,” he responded in a voice laced with fury and ice.
Faith’s gray-green eyes glared at him as one of her perfect eyebrows arched inquisitively. “Well, she won’t think it’s so funny if I were to open my big mouth and tell her what we planned all along. How you planned to use her and discard her like yesterday’s trash? You’re better off on your own and your music desperately needs that angst. I believe being with her will make you…soft. And neither
of us want that, do we?”
“Listen, that part of my life is over just like our little threesome deal—you got that? You’re with Jaden now in case you forgot where you stand with the band. I never promised anything more than fucking would happen between you and I so if that is why you are pissed at Syd then you are sorely mistaken. She didn’t prevent anything between the two of us from happening because I would have never been with you like that. You remind me a bit too much of my ex-wife and we were never going to happen.”
She openly flinched at his remarks as she stepped back. “Who ever said I wanted anything serious with you? We always knew my future was with Jaden but it was fun while it lasted. However…what am I supposed to do now that he is back on the drugs?”
“I don’t know and honestly, I truly don’t care, Faith. Do what ever the fuck you want. From your demeanor tonight, it appears as if you have joined him.”
“Only for tonight. I needed to have something to take the edge off so he gave me a forty milligram tablet of Oxycontin and boy am I flying but in a good way. It’s not my first time around the rodeo—I’ve experimented with my fair share of drugs but I don’t understand why he can’t just keep it casual like I do.”
Kaz grabbed her by her arms and shook her with little force behind his actions. “Listen, he’s got an addictive personality and it doesn’t help he is already on drugs for his ADHD. The guy has been on one drug or another since he was eight and you’re not aiding the present situation at all if you are enabling his behavior—”
“Don’t you try to pin this on me! He was going to get high tonight whether I was with him or not.”
A gentle hand touched his shoulder and Kaz turned to see Syd. “It’s show time. You’re going to do great, you know that, don’t you? I promise I am going to watch the whole concert and I am so excited, I’m going to my seat right now.”
He turned fully toward her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’ll do my best to perform a kickass show tonight because I know you’ll be out there watching us and I want to entertain you…in bed and out.”
Syd smiled before she kissed his lips quickly. “Have a great concert.”
“I will because you’re my girl and I know I can’t disappoint you. It would break my heart.”
“Oh, lucky duck!” Faith exclaimed in a sardonic manner.
As soon as he and Syd separated, she pulled her best friend by the hand and began to talk to her quietly while she led them away.
Kaz walked toward the stage and heard the roar of the crowd as he approached. The announcer didn’t have to do much to turn on the twenty thousand people in the audience because as he entered the stage with sparks raining down on him and the music to “Misery Queen” kicking into high gear, he knew what he had to do.
They almost always started off their concerts with the song because it had been their first number one hit off their self-titled debut album and he loved to get the crowd going by the fast, edgy song. The lyrics were pretty morbid since the song was about a woman who cuts herself and goes too far one day. He’d written the song after he met Loire, the tattoo artist and discovered she was a cutter at one time although she wasn’t the only inspiration for the song.
Kaz made his way to the microphone and grabbed it from the stand before he moaned softly into it, his melodic yet deep and sexy voice coming through loud and clear. He tried to ignore the numerous screams from the female fans, some who were taking off their skimpy clothing to show their latest purchases of Victoria’s Secret lingerie.
He’d always wanted to make music and singing was his passion. The women had been fun in the beginning but now he was getting older, it wasn’t the same and he no longer felt like a kid in a candy store. He wanted to spend his time with one woman only and he knew she was out there watching as he performed the song.
His voice built up and became stronger and deeper as he continued to sing; the fear and anxiety of being a failure slowly left his body. This was what he was supposed to do and now he realized why he loved every minute of it as the adrenaline pumped through his bloodstream and he became one with the crowd.
This was his life and he wouldn’t trade places with anyone else. Why would he when he was living the dream? How many people could honestly say they loved their job?
Feelings of inadequacy left him as the song ended.
“Are we rockin’ the Staples Center tonight or what?” he shouted into the microphone.
The audience went crazy and the elation fed his ego, which in turn fed his confidence.
Kaz was determined to rock the house and no one could do that better than Scarlet Fever.
Chapter Six
Viva Las Vegas!
It mattered very little it was September in Vegas.
The weather was hotter than hell and we’d officially begun the tour as far as I was concerned. There wasn’t a private plane to take us to Las Vegas; we took the tour buses and since Kaz was the lead singer, he had his own bus. The other guys were privy to their individual buses as well but they opted to share a bus because it worked out better for the bottom line.
Between the concert equipment, roadies, pyrotechnics and venues, concerts were expensive and something the artists themselves had to pay for. The proceeds from the concerts were split with the record company and although Scarlet Fever and Winter’s Regret both had very favorable contracts with Introspect Records, they were incredibly frugal.
I learned acquiring Paul Branson as their financial advisor hadn’t exactly helped the situation because he found more ways for them to save money, like not having more booze and food than what was needed. He had actually helped his secretary with finding the best hotels with the best deals. He’d sliced off over a million dollars’ worth of excessive costs just by redoing the budget yet neither band would feel the sting. Instead, they would make more money and that was the purpose.
I had been to Vegas plenty of times but I’d never been driven there before so when I saw the bright lights of Primm, I squealed in delight.
“Jesus, woman…we still have some time before we get to the hotel. Calm down. It’s just the shopping mecca on the border of California and Nevada with a bunch of shitty casinos thrown in.”
Although I knew it would be pure luxury to travel on a tour bus, I wasn’t ready for an open bottle of Cristal champagne or the wrap around sofa that faced a forty inch television. Kaz and I were able to see the latest films that were still in the theaters courtesy of the record company.
Introspect Records was not only a record company but they owned a studio too and any of their movies—along with many other studio films—were made available to both bands on blu-ray. It was definitely nice to have friends in high places.
I looked away from Fast & Furious 6 and studied Kaz. He had this dorky smile on his face as his front teeth bit his lower lip. He was a huge Vin Diesel fan hence the reason why his upper body was so built but within reason. I thought Vin was pretty hot myself but he couldn’t hold a candle to the man who sat beside me.
“That is so fucking awesome. I gotta get me one of those,” he said offhandedly.
I looked back toward the screen and realized he was talking about a certain expensive vehicle.
“Kaz, you have more vehicles than one man can drive. You are a real life rock star—you know, like the Nickelback song?”
My lover snorted out loud. “Fuck those Canucks, woman. They are one of the cheesiest rock bands in the world and you’re gonna compare us to them?”
“Hey, I like a few of their songs and ‘Rockstar’ was one of them.” I leaned over and caressed his face softly. “Come on, I have heard you singing ‘Savin’ Me’ in the shower so don’t you dare front like you don’t know any of their songs.”
Kaz rolled his eyes. “Fine, they do have some pretty good songs like ‘How You Remind Me’, ‘Someday’, ‘Rockstar’ and ‘Savin’ Me’ but those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. I am more of Deftones or Marilyn Manson fan. Now that is
good music. Angst-ridden, has a message other than love most of the time and just hard rockin’, fun-lovin’ music.”
I laughed out loud. “And you like your share of hip-hop too.”
“Hip-hop fuckin’ rocks out! Hell, I’d love to tour with Kanye West or Jay-Z for the perks alone. Yes, I like all kinds of music, Syd. I wouldn’t be an artist of I didn’t. From David Guetta to Michael Jackson…you’ll find it on my iPod. Rock music was what I was good at so it’s what I chose but I could have been the next Eminem…if I could rap worth a damn.”
“You? Eminem? Puh-leeze! That is such a freakin’ joke. If you could have been Eminem then I could be Britney Spears!”
Kaz wrapped his hand around my neck in that oh-s0-sexy way and pulled me closer to him. “No, you couldn’t because Britney looks like a washed up dishrag next to you. You’re beautiful right now.”
“Okay…” I trailed off and tried to think of something else to say because I didn’t want to talk about me. “If you could sleep with any female musician, who would you choose?”
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