by Pamela Lynne
Mary looked at Darcy then Sebastian, who returned her look with raised eyebrows as he drank his tea. She was unaccountably annoyed. She did not like being ignored, but found being told what to do equally bothersome.
Sebastian was amused by the slightest appearance of defiance that flashed across her features while Darcy was not surprised to see what he recognized as a very Gardiner-like response.
“I longed for a brother when I was growing up to protect us and do all those things I’ve been told men are supposed to do for their sisters. I can see now how wrong I was.”
Sebastian laughed at her petulance and thought for a moment she might stick her tongue out at Darcy.
At the same time, Mary realized she was acting like a child. The annoyed defiance disappeared as quickly as it arrived, and she slumped her shoulders and offered an apology.
“I am sorry, gentlemen. I am acting no better than my youngest sister. I am unaccustomed to all of this.”
“To what, Miss Mary?” Sebastian asked.
“Having someone act in my best interest. I thank you, both.”
Darcy nodded while Sebastian made an attempt to lighten the too-somber mood.
“I am unaccustomed to acting in anyone else’s best interest. You seem to bring out the best in me, Miss Mary. You may add that to your list of accomplishments.”
“It would indeed be considered an accomplishment to get my cousin to act in a manner befitting his title of a gentleman, Mary. Whatever you are doing, please continue. We would all benefit from an improved Sebastian. I am going to get some air.” With that, Darcy rose, spoke briefly to his sister, and made to leave.
“You do not like each other very much, do you?”
“We are just very different, Miss Mary. My cousin is always so dour and serious.”
“So am I.”
“Yes, but you have proven yourself to be of far superior quality to my cousin.”
“How so?”
“Because you like me; therefore, you must be a far more sensible creature.”
Mary turned her head in an effort to hide her eye roll, but it did not work.
“I saw that.”
She looked back at him and laughed, for perhaps the first time since she was a child, while thinking this brother thing might not be so bad after all.
********
Bingley stood in the doorway and looked on while Darcy and Hedley spoke to Mary. She was obviously upset, and he felt the urge to provide comfort. He felt a kinship with the girl after the events at Longbourn and still hoped she would become his sister. He scanned the room and grimaced when his eyes landed on Lady Catherine. The five hours he had spent in the carriage with her the day before had been torture. While Miss Darcy was barely civil and hardly spoke at all, her ladyship was unconsciously mean in her remarks about his “unfortunate background.” He was accustomed to snide remarks from living with Caroline, but unlike his sister, Lady Catherine did not speak to inflict pain. She merely spoke the truth as she saw it, and she saw little value in Bingley.
He chose to ride with Darcy’s closest relations with the hopes of repairing their friendship. As much as he missed Darcy’s society, he was thinking only of Jane. Believing she and Elizabeth were as close as they had been in Hertfordshire, he knew that he must do something more to heal the breach so that the sisters would not find themselves in an uncomfortable situation. He also feared Elizabeth would talk Jane out of accepting him. Did not everyone listen to one’s sisters?
He regretted his actions after the Netherfield ball more than anything he had ever done before. Listening to Caroline had cost him both Jane and Darcy, and he would have to work hard to regain their approval. It really was desperation that led him to siding with his sister that night. Caroline had been incessantly speaking of marrying Darcy for as long as she had known him, but the past year had been hard for her. Caroline had a very thick skin, but the disdain from the ladies of the ton had begun to affect her. As much as she tried to forget the fact that the Bingley wealth was made in trade, she could not escape the taint of it. She knew the only way to do so was through an advantageous marriage, and she had eyes for no one else but Darcy.
Bingley hoped spending time away from London would help her, but instead, things became much worse. She compared everything at Netherfield to Pemberley and doubled her efforts to gain Darcy’s attentions. When he instead bestowed them on Elizabeth, the desperation that had been slowly building took over. Caroline had fortune, fashion, and the best education, but she was still considered inferior to the Bennet ladies, and knowing that was cutting. All the pettiness and vindictiveness that was hidden behind her supposed breeding came to the surface. She did not allow Darcy to see the full effects of her disjointed emotions, but she hid nothing from her siblings. Both sisters and even Hurst led him to believe the only way to control Caroline was to give her what she wanted—Pemberley and the place in society she coveted.
Bingley knew Darcy valued their friendship, but he also felt Darcy shared the same opinion as his aunt and the rest of the higher circles—that no decent bride could be found among the burgeoning middle class. He never would have considered Caroline. Her background was not good enough for Pemberley, and her character was not good enough for Georgiana. The only reason he was marrying outside his sphere was because he fell in love. He never could have loved Caroline.
Bingley knew this. Even when the words were leaving his mouth that night, insisting Darcy give in to Caroline’s compromise, he knew it would not happen. He did not know what she had planned, but when the opportunity arose, he knew he would have better luck appealing to Darcy’s sense of honor than to Caroline’s sense of decency. She was desperate for Darcy, and he was desperate for Jane. Rather than correct his sister’s troubling behavior and claim his love as a man should, he chose to throw his dearest friend in front of a speeding carriage in order to save himself. He felt like the smallest, meanest, most loathsome creature on earth and was sure Darcy felt the same.
Darcy turned to leave the dining room, and seeing Mary was engrossed in conversation with Hedley, Bingley decided to follow him.
“Darcy?” His voice was soft and pleading. Darcy sighed and turned to look at him.
“Not here, Bingley. Come with me to check the horses.”
They walked to the stables in silence. Darcy’s stiff posture alerted Bingley to the difficult task he had ahead. He had no idea how to open the conversation and was relieved when Darcy took the initiative.
“I hope you do not mind, Bingley, but I rode one of your horses last night. I will have him stabled here, and you can tether him to your carriage on the return journey.”
Bingley nodded. “You are welcome to whatever is mine, Darcy. That has not changed.”
Drawing a breath, Darcy looked up to the sky and, deciding just to have it out, spoke harshly.
“What exactly did change, Bingley? I did not. I was the same person that night I always was. But you, on the other hand, were forceful and decided, as if you had had rehearsed your responses. Did you, Bingley? Were you prepared beforehand? Did you know your sister’s plans?”
Bingley shook his head. “I did not, Darcy. I swear. I knew she was becoming more desperate, but I did not know she would come to your room that night.”
“How could you not know, Bingley? If you were not aware of her plans that night, you at least knew her frame of mind. When I looked in Mr. Bennet’s eyes yesterday, do you know what I saw, Bingley? I saw the same feral look that your sister possessed that night. It is a look born of desperation and fear, and if you do not do something, she is likely to harm herself or someone else.”
“You think my sister is mad?”
“I think she is mean, vindictive, petty, and frightened. It will not take much to push her over the edge if she is not there already. If you do not take the trouble to check her, you will have to live with the consequences for the rest of your life. You have already lost my friendship, what else are you prepared to lose? Jane? Your f
ortune? Your reputation?”
Darcy stepped back and tried to get control of his temper, but Bingley came after him.
“So that is it? You cannot forgive me?”
“I want to, Bingley, and I have tried, but every time I think about what you did, I also think about what you could have cost me. If you had succeeded, Georgiana and I would not have Elizabeth. I would have become an empty shell of a man with no heir and no hope for the future just so you could have that vapid, mean-spirited, poor excuse for a lady on your arm and in your bed.”
“You are not speaking of Miss Bennet.”
“I am,” Darcy bellowed. “She has hurt her sister far more than you have hurt me, but I have no doubt that Elizabeth is giving her every possible consideration, if not absolute forgiveness. That is the only reason I am willing to do the same for you.
“You have my forgiveness, but you do not have my regard. I will not allow your weakness to do further harm to my life, but I will allow you in my society if Elizabeth wishes it. If you are determined to have her sister and she maintains the connection, I will not attempt to sever it.
“Elizabeth will choose who is welcome in our home, but I tell you now, Bingley, Caroline will never be one of them. You and I can meet as casual and indifferent acquaintances and maintain civility in each other’s company, but I will not allow Caroline to be anywhere near my wife or sister.”
“Caroline is not that bad, Darcy. Before this, she was a good friend to you, was she not? Surely if you can forgive me, you can forgive her as well.”
Darcy looked at him in disbelief and then shook his head. Had Bingley always been so clueless? Had he truly been as blind to Bingley as his father had been to Wickham?
“Bingley, I thank you again for the use of your horse and also for taking care of Elizabeth’s mother and sisters. I am going to see if everyone is finished with breakfast.”
That dismissal put an end not only to the conversation but also to the friendship that had spanned the better part of a decade. Both men would always regret the loss, but Darcy could see that Bingley would forever be under the influence of his sister and, therefore, was not to be trusted.
Darcy entered the inn, and his eyes immediately met Elizabeth’s. Darcy realized he could never truly regret Bingley’s friendship because it had brought him to Hertfordshire and into the company of that exquisite creature, who sent his heart racing with a mere look. He was anxious to gather everyone and begin the journey that would bring them one day closer to forever and was annoyed when Sebastian asked for a word.
********
A short while later, the men handed the ladies into the carriages. It was decided that, due to the cold, it would be better to brave possible discomfort and use two carriages instead of three, at least for the morning. While Sebastian and Richard tended to Mary, Anne, and Georgiana, Bingley and Darcy helped Elizabeth, Lady Catherine, and lastly Jane. Before she stepped onto the carriage, Darcy pulled her aside and gave her the most menacing look he could bestow upon a lady.
“My cousin told me about a conversation you and he had this morning.” Jane squirmed in his grasp, but he held firm.
“The only reason you are not entering the empty carriage and traveling to Longbourn today is my promise to your uncle to see his nieces safely to Scotland, although I believe he would not hesitate to leave you behind if he knew you attempted to hurt Elizabeth…again.”
The defiance that rose in Mary earlier made an appearance. “I told your cousin I do not wish to harm my sister, and I meant it. I have apologized, and we are attempting to become friends again. Please do not interfere with that.” Jane’s look was pleading, but Darcy’s remained cold.
“I do not believe you. Miss Mary will be the only Bennet sister invited to stay with us when we return to London. The behavior of the others is far too suspect to be allowed among my peers, and believe me, that is saying much. You will return to Longbourn and care for your father. I will not allow you to hurt her again.”
Before she could answer, he pulled her toward the carriage and up the steps. She had only a moment to process Darcy’s words before she met the eyes of the man sitting across from her. She straightened her shoulders, lowered her eyes slightly, fixed her serene smile, and then looked up.
“I am so happy to be traveling with you today, Mr. Bingley.”
Darcy tore his eyes from Elizabeth long enough to look at Jane, who bore the same expression he saw many times in Hertfordshire, and felt no satisfaction in being right.
Chapter Twenty Two
* * *
“Miss Bennet!”
“Mr. Darcy, I have come to inquire after my sister.”
His eyes caressed her face, flushed by the exercise, and moved over her light and pleasing figure.
“Have you? You have travelled three miles, on foot, to see after your sister’s trifling cold? I think not, Miss Bennet.”
“Why else would I come?”
“To see me.” He laughed at her feigned shock and stepped closer to her. He pulled her into his arms and spoke into her neck.
“I am glad you have come, Elizabeth. I thought about you all morning, wishing it had been you who had arrived yesterday, drenched from the rain.”
“You wish me to be ill, Mr. Darcy?”
“No, Elizabeth, I wish you to be wet.”
The carriage moved roughly over a bumpy part of the road and jolted Darcy out of his dream. It was the closest he had been to Elizabeth since the night they spent at the first inn. Every inn had been overcrowded, and they had no choice but to share rooms. Having Sebastian as a bedmate was only slightly less unpleasant than sharing a carriage with Lady Catherine, Jane, and Bingley. He would have preferred that he and Elizabeth rode with Georgiana, but she, Mary, and Anne seemed to be enjoying each other’s company so much that he did not want to separate them. So, instead, he watched as his aunt held court and Bingley tried to charm Jane, who encouraged his attentions while, oddly enough, clinging to Elizabeth as if her life depended on it. That woman was an ever-changing mystery, and he was tired of trying to solve the puzzle.
At least during those long carriage rides Elizabeth sat across from him and he was able to gaze upon her with abandon. He did not say much, but he watched as she masterfully handled his aunt and tried to deflect her attention from Jane and Bingley, who did not hold up well under Catherine’s scrutiny. They did not deserve her kindness, but he was proud of her efforts. She continually proved that her worth far outweighed those around her simply by refusing to lower herself to their level of meanness and incivility.
Darcy looked across from him, and instead of seeing Elizabeth, he saw his cousin’s unusually somber gaze directed out the window. His mind is probably in the carriage in front of us as well. For whatever reason, Lady Catherine decided that morning that she, Elizabeth, Georgiana, and Anne would travel together, and there was no dissuading her. Darcy had been happy to see her retreat a bit and give Anne more room to interact with her new friends and cousins without interference, but the previous evening, she had once again started hovering. She was also eyeing Richard suspiciously. He had been paying a good amount of attention to Anne, something Darcy had not noticed until Elizabeth pointed it out to him. Catherine must have noticed it as well.
He sighed and leaned his head against the seat, trying to finish his dream. It was one of his favorites, but it always ended too soon. He smiled as he realized that in a few short days he would no longer have to sit across from her in the carriage or be satisfied with dreams of her. They had crossed over into Scotland the day before and would reach the estate by nightfall. Tonight he would be in her bed, and in a few nights, he would have no reason to feel guilty.
Not that he felt overly guilty for what they had shared. They were getting married; they loved each other, and they were able to refrain from going too far, but he knew that they should not allow themselves too much temptation. He had kept himself under good regulation for many years, but now that he had her, the temptation wa
s far greater than it had ever been. The last time he had given in to desire, he felt a different kind of guilt, one that ate away at him and caused him to retreat even further away from people than was his natural want.
Darcy sighed again, not wanting to relive that time in his life. All that was behind him. Now, he had Elizabeth, and they would be happy. They would spend little time in town. They decided together that exposing Georgiana to the machinations of the ton would do little good at this point. Pemberley would be their home for most of the year, only going to London when business or family obligations made a trip necessary, at least until Georgiana was ready to come out. They may have a child of their own by then. This thought brought on a sensation of pure joy that could not go disguised, bringing him under his cousin’s scrutiny.
“How did you know you loved her, Darcy, that it was not some fleeting attraction?”
He would not have been surprised if the question had come from Richard, but Sebastian asking such a thing was very odd. Darcy chose to ignore his wonder and answer honestly.
“I was attracted to her from nearly the first moment I was in her presence. You have spent time with her, so you can understand why I was drawn to her. I knew I was in trouble early on, but it was not until the morning I left Hertfordshire, when I was faced with the prospect of never being with her again, that I knew for sure. When I saw her again, I realized how deeply I felt. She was so sad, and I would have given my entire world to make it better.”
Darcy studied his cousin as he seemed to contemplate what he heard. He looked into his folded hands then nodded and turned to the window, saying nothing more until the carriage stopped at the changing station.
********
“Dearest, what is the matter?” A concerned Darcy took in Elizabeth’s flushed countenance with much alarm. He pulled her away from their companions and took both her hands in his.