by Pamela Lynne
Mary turned from him and sipped her tea for long moments, and he could not tell what she was thinking, only that she was concentrating very hard.
“I find it odd that my uncle should be concerned about my possible disappointment when he knows absolutely nothing about me,” she said matter-of-factly.
Sebastian smiled. “That is exactly what I said.” His words to her uncle had actually been, “The fact that you believe she can be taken in by any cad proves how little you know her, sir. You have no idea the strength she has inside of her.”
Mary studied him carefully, but Sebastian was neither nervous nor uncomfortable under her gaze. “I can only judge by my own experience. You have been very kind and attentive to Georgiana and Anne and me. You have treated me with nothing but respect since the first moment we met and have never dismissed me the way my family has. You are not a bad man. Perhaps you were pretending before.”
He smiled tenderly and resisted the urge to kiss her cheek. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For your determination to see the best in me.”
********
“Miss Bennet, why did you not stand up with your sister?” Mr. Porter had arrived just before the final blessings were made and found it odd that the young sister of the groom served as maid of honor instead of the bride’s elder sister.
Jane sighed in exhaustion. She was seated in between Bingley and Mr. Porter and was trying to attend to them both, finding it more and more difficult as Porter continued to draw her out.
Although his question was entirely inappropriate after such a short acquaintance, she answered with honesty. “My sister did not ask me to stand up with her, likely because I wanted her to marry someone else. I was very vocal in my opinions, and neither she nor Mr. Darcy is likely to forget that.”
“Your sister seems very much in love with Mr. Darcy. Was there something about the other man that would have made a better match?”
“My comfort would have been secured as well as that of my family. Lizzy would have been miserable, but the rest of us could have continued to live as we always had. I am afraid Lizzy’s happiness was not on our minds at all. She made a better choice, and now the rest of us must live with the consequences of our actions. I will forever miss having my sister’s regard, but I am glad she will be happy.”
Porter nodded and looked at her the same way he had previously, as if he saw right to the heart of her but wanted her company anyway. “Miss Bennet, what will you do when you leave here?”
“I am to return home to Hertfordshire. My father is ill, and I must tend to him.” The gnawing in the pit of her stomach that lessened when he spoke returned to full strength.
“I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps if I maintain a correspondence with your brother, then I can hear of you. Do you anticipate spending much time in London in the near future?”
“I am afraid I do not know what the future holds for me, sir.” She briefly looked at the man seated on her other side, then returned her gaze to her plate.
He noticed her glance and subsequent pallor. “Do you have an understanding with Mr. Bingley?”
Jane sipped her tea in an effort to calm her stomach. “I do not.”
“What will you say if he asks for one?”
“I know not. Why do you ask?”
“Because I would like to know more of you, Miss Bennet, and I would like for you to know more of me. We can only do that if you do not accept Mr. Bingley.”
Jane’s hands were shaking, causing her tea to spill out into the saucer. Servants appeared to take away the remnants of the breakfast as the musicians readied their instruments.
“I do not know what I want,” she said in a whisper.
“Well then, Miss Bennet, perhaps for now we can just dance.”
********
Three matrons stood along one wall watching the young people as they enjoyed their dance. One was contemplating her dear boy; one was contemplating her dear girl, and one was contemplating what dear Mr. Porter wore under his kilt. Her attention was drawn from her reverie when the sound of her daughter’s laughter reached her ears.
“Miss de Bourgh seems to be enjoying herself, your ladyship.”
“Yes, Mrs. Gardiner, she does, although she should be resting for our journey later in the day.”
“Must you leave today? It seems a shame to break up the party prematurely. Why not leave when we do in the morning?”
Lady Catherine sighed and momentarily forgot to be offended by the tradesman’s wife daring to speak to her in such a friendly manner. She was actually beginning to wish for friendship with Mrs. Gardiner but was not ready to admit that quite yet. She could not allow Darcy to be right about everything.
“I am happy she has spent so much time with Georgiana, and Miss Mary Bennet seems like an intelligent, genteel sort of girl, but I worry about Anne forming an attachment in another quarter.” She gestured to Richard, who was dancing with her daughter.
“It is one afternoon, your ladyship. What harm could be done?”
“A great deal I am afraid.” She spoke softly, almost as if she were resigning herself to something. “I do not want her to be hurt. I suppose it would be better for her to begin the journey tomorrow. I merely will have to watch her carefully until then.” A movement from the back of the line caught their eyes, and they all sniggered as they watched the happy couple sneak out of the room.
********
Madeline Gardiner approached her niece, needing to speak to her before they began their journey home the next day. She began cautiously as she looked like a mere word could send her flying from the room.
“Are you enjoying yourself, Jane?”
Jane seemed surprised that her aunt was speaking to her but tried to control her features. “I am, Aunt Maddy. You and Lizzy put together an excellent party and with such little time.”
“Thank you. I saw you dancing earlier. Was Mr. Porter an agreeable partner?”
“Yes, it was fine.” It had been more than fine. It was the most pleasurable set she had ever danced, and Mr. Porter was on her mind when she asked, “Must we leave tomorrow, Aunt? Can we not stay a few days more?” Jane’s eyes were pleading.
Mrs. Gardiner shook her head. “No, Jane. We must return to Longbourn as soon as we can. The situation is not good; you are needed there.” Jane lowered her head. The word Longbourn was becoming an evil that ran her through each time it was spoken.
“I know what the situation is; I was there the last few months,” she responded bitterly. “Mary will be going to London; why can I not go as well?”
“Mary was invited by Mr. Darcy so that she may attend the ball his aunt is holding. I have no control over their invitations.”
“But you have control over your own house. Can I not stay with you? Why must I go back there?”
“Because it is still your home. Mary will not stay long in London. You will have help.” Mrs. Gardiner was trying to maintain her temper, but Jane’s petulant attitude was making it difficult. Elizabeth told her that Jane seemed contrite, and she had seen signs of that herself, but all she saw now was desperation. She made a quick perusal of the room and noticed her husband’s peaked countenance.
“I must see to your uncle. Your Mr. Porter sent over whiskey from his estate yesterday, and it was apparently irresistible.” Before she left, she determined to say at least part of her mind. “You hurt Lizzy very badly, Jane. Your father was not in his right mind, but you knew what you were doing. That cannot be erased in a matter of days. You must go back to Longbourn now, but perhaps in time, the breaches you caused can be healed.”
Mrs. Gardiner did not give her time to respond before she walked away. Jane stood there, trying not to feel the effect of her aunt’s words, when she felt a presence beside her.
“Miss Bennet, may I have a moment of your time?” Jane turned and looked at every point on the man she could, except his eyes.
“Of course, Mr. Bingley.”
*******
*
“I was pretending.”
Sebastian looked to his partner. “When, Miss Mary?”
“Always. I pretended that it did not hurt to be slighted by my sisters or ignored by my father. I pretended to need only my sermons or my routine to be content when what I really longed for was a friend. I pretended to prefer plainness so it would not matter if no one found me pretty and pretended not to like to dance so it would not matter when no one asked. It was all so very tiring.”
The dance separated them momentarily, but Sebastian kept his eyes on her. He had not seen her so discomposed, though he was sure he was, in fact, the only one to notice—the only one to have ever noticed.
“When did you stop?” he asked when they came back together.
“When I saw my father strike my mother. I could not pretend that did not happen. There was no retreating to my books or my self-righteousness after witnessing such a cruel thing. Reality is a hard thing to swallow at times, Viscount, but can it not make us better?”
“That is the hope, Mary,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion, knowing she was speaking about him as much as herself. The dance came to an end, and Sebastian looked toward the musicians as they began another song then looked back to Mary. The drunken confrontation with Mr. Gardner had shaken something in him, making him want to act irrationally and bring her along with him, giving her perhaps her only opportunity to feel joy.
“Do you ever wish to do something outside the bounds of propriety, Mary, simply because it will make you happy? Do you not wish just once to say hang it all and just be free?” She looked around as if to see if anyone was watching then nodded.
Sebastian smiled and held out his hand. “Come.”
********
“Are you pleased, my love?” A sigh was the only answer Elizabeth could manage as Darcy trailed kisses over her neck and shoulders. They had enjoyed a very busy morning and rested into the afternoon when he awoke with an incredible need. He pulled her onto his lap and entered her as he did their first time, needing to find his completion with her wrapped around him. He was overcome when they joined, feeling the emotion of being one with her and finally being able to unleash the part of him that had been kept under good regulation for so long. It was not merely physical. There was a freedom found in her arms that finally allowed him to feel every part of himself. He felt transcended. He was somewhere beyond Fitzwilliam or Darcy. He was hers. He was Will.
He was still inside her, hardening once again in anticipation. He had feared that when he could finally have her, he would never get enough, and being with Elizabeth had exceeded his greatest expectations. His strong, gentle hands traveled up her back then down to her legs, which were still wrapped around him, and his lips barely left her skin as he spoke.
“I hope that means yes. It is my greatest wish to please you, for you are a woman so worthy of being pleased.” His voice was a husky whisper, and his warm breath caused her skin to tingle. “Tell me, Elizabeth, are you pleased with our…activities?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her face to his and smiled. “Very much. I think there are few who would not be pleased.”
“But I have only one wife, and I am interested in her thoughts alone on the matter.” He kissed her softly, his lips barely touching hers. “Will you not tell me your thoughts?”
She blushed in response, not knowing how to find the right words.
“Then shall I tell you mine?”
He kissed her face, starting with her forehead then both eyes, cheeks, and chin, following the line of her jaw up to her ear.
“I love your skin, Lizzy—so soft, so sweet. I love the way you respond when I touch you there and there.” She shuddered when his fingertips grazed the small of her back while he kissed the pulse point in her neck. His hands moved to her hips, and he held on to her as he began to thrust slowly beneath her.
“I love the way I fit inside you. You are so tight and warm. I will never be cold again now that I have you to love me.” One hand left her hip, moving to where they were joined, his thumb tantalizing the sensitive skin there. She inhaled sharply and began to move along with him. “I love to give you pleasure, especially when I am inside you and can feel the strength of it. You cover me with your very essence, and it makes me want more. Give me more, Elizabeth.”
She held on to his shoulders and arched her back, giving him access to her breasts as she continued to writhe against him. A short time later, she called out to him, giving him everything he wanted as she rode the waves of her climax. He held her to him, this time giving her no chance to recover, and rolled her onto her back and began thrusting almost wildly. It was not enough. He needed to go deeper. He brought her knees over his shoulders and raised himself up, using the headboard as leverage as he continued his long, deep strokes. He was gliding over some previously undiscovered spot that sent Elizabeth reeling once more before he reached his own shuddering conclusion, crying out her name from somewhere deep inside.
He collapsed on top of her, and she held him tightly, stroking his sweat-soaked hair as they both tried to regulate their breathing. A short time later, the sound of Elizabeth’s empty stomach brought them back from their love-filled haze. They both laughed softly.
“I have been neglecting you, Mrs. Darcy. What say you to a bath and some dinner?”
“They both sound delightful, and I have hardly been neglected.” She smiled as she kissed him softly. “You may have to carry me to the tub, though. I do not believe I can walk.” She winced slightly as she adjusted her position.
Darcy frowned. “I have been too rough with you.”
She stroked his hair comfortingly. “You could have been gentle as a lamb, and at times you were, and we would have the same results. It is merely the consequence of our…activities. I have been assured it will not last, and in time, you will be able to take me without any consequences. Not uncomfortable ones, anyway.” Her eyes were soft and flirtatious, and his body began to respond.
“Elizabeth,” he growled and took her bottom lip between his own. Her hands caressed his chest and moved down to his sides where she tickled him lightly, causing him to jerk backward. She smiled and arched her eyebrow mischievously. He laughed and pulled her to sitting.
“Before you begin a war you cannot win, we should get you fed. You will need energy for later tonight.” He left the bed to find their robes and ring for bath water and dinner to be served in their room. They enjoyed a quiet evening, talking and loving until a deep sleep finally claimed them in the wee hours of the morning.
While Mr. and Mrs. Darcy enjoyed their first dinner together as a married couple, a carriage pulled away from the castle, taking another couple to the nearest blacksmith and then miles away from the upset their decision was sure to cause.
Chapter Twenty Six
* * *
Mary found herself sitting once again in the window seat of her sister’s room, watching the cold rain fall. Nothing should have drawn her to that particular spot. No sister was there asking for the company, and the view afforded very little, except that if she turned her head and stretched just right, she could see the road to London.
She left her friends early on the morning after the wedding and travelled with her family back to Longbourn. There was no playful cajoling, confiding, or getting to know each other on this particular journey. It was long and quiet and cold as the thoughts of each passenger were occupied with the events that had unfolded after the wedding.
She sighed as she leaned her head onto the chilled glass. As expected, life at Longbourn had become very tense. Her father kept to his bed, too weak physically to move and too emotional to think clearly. Minimum doses of opium were administered to dull the pain, but his mind was no longer hidden behind a thick, hazy curtain that had been in place for months. His memories were not always clear, but the ones that were caused him great distress, and his laments—haunting, guttural sobs full of regret—could be heard in every room of the house. He called o
ut for his wife often, but she would never come; she had her own laments to tend.
When it all got to be too much, Mary would sit at the window, look upon the road, and remember. She cherished every moment she spent with her friends in Scotland, but it was one scene that replayed over and over in her mind.
“Come.” He held out his hand, and she took it without hesitation. He pulled her to him, and she tensed as she recognized the song the musicians had begun. He placed one of her hands on his shoulder and held the other firmly in his while his arm pulled her in closer. He smiled down at her shocked expression, and she immediately relaxed.
“This is most improper, Viscount Hedley.”
He laughed, knowing her words were spoken more from habit than belief.
“We are a small party of friends, Miss Mary. It is hardly a scandal that we should waltz.”
“My uncle may not think so.”
“Oh, I rather doubt I will live long after the dance is over, so I will enjoy myself while I can.”
She sighed at the memory of being twirled around, feeling weightless as he held her and guided her across the floor. In spite of his words to the contrary, they both knew they were doing something well outside the bounds of propriety, but it did not matter. In those moments, as his eyes remained fixed on hers, they were alone in the world, briefly belonging only to each other.
Through her memories, Mary heard the sound of her father’s moaning. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to hold on to the images for a few minutes longer, but it was no use. She took one last look out the window, rose from the seat, took a steadying breath, and left to help her sister tend their patient.
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