by Laura Iding
“Let me know when you’re hungry, and I’ll throw the steaks on the grill,” he said, taking a seat in the chair next to hers.
“I’m ready whenever. I’m glad we came back, I think poor Grizz has been lonely.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be much happier when my father is finally discharged from the hospital.” He reached over to scratch Grizz behind the ears. “I talked to Dr. Summers and he told me to plan on my father coming home tomorrow or Tuesday.”
“That’s wonderful news. I’m sure it will take a while, but your father will feel much better now that he’s had the surgery.”
“I hope so.” He stood and walked over to light the charcoal sitting in the bottom of the grill. “Guess dad won’t be eating steaks for a while,” he mused.
She let out a quick laugh. “Nope, guess not. Good thing we’re having them tonight, then, isn’t it?”
He tried to make sure the atmosphere between them stayed relaxed and companionable as he grilled the steaks, sautéing some fresh mushrooms on the side. He brought out the salads and two TV trays so they could eat outside. He thought about offering to open a bottle of Merlot but, remembering Raine’s preference for water, decided against it.
Certainly he didn’t need any alcohol. Raine’s presence was intoxicating enough.
As dusk began to fall, the mosquitoes came out, so reluctantly they carried everything inside.
Together, they cleaned up the mess Caleb had left in the kitchen. Working as a team, the chore didn’t take long.
“Caleb, do you mind if I ask you a question?” Raine asked, after they’d finished.
“Of course not.” He draped the damp dishtowel over the counter to dry.
“Do you want me? Intimately? The way you did before?” she asked, her cheeks stained bright red. “Or are you turned off because I was raped?”
What? He wanted to kick himself for making her doubt his feelings. Instantly he crossed over to her, clasping her shoulders and trying to encourage her to meet his gaze. “No, Raine, I’m not turned off by what happened. Why would you think that?”
“Because each time you kissed me last night, you were the one to pull away.”
He couldn’t deny it. But when he’d pulled back, it had been because he’d been close to forgetting what she’d been through. “Only because I promised I wouldn’t rush you into doing anything you weren’t ready for.”
She bit her lower lip. “And what if I can’t know what I’m ready for if we don’t try?”
He stared at her. Was she really saying what he thought she was saying? “Raine, just a few hours ago you freaked out at the fair. I think that shows you still have a way to go before fully recovering from the assault.” And he’d never forgive himself if he frightened her.
She must have read his mind. “You won’t frighten me, Caleb. I freaked out at the fair because of the strangers surrounding me. But I didn’t feel the least bit frightened last night. In fact, I felt safe and normal for the first time in weeks. You helped me realize that I’ve gotten over the worst of what happened.” She frowned. “But I know that just because I’m getting over what happened, it doesn’t mean you have.”
Her insight struck a chord, because she was right. How long had he known about her assault? Three days? Not nearly enough time to come to grips with what she’d been through. But that was his problem to wrestle with, not hers. And he did want her, too much for his peace of mind. “Raine, please don’t worry about me.”
“I won’t worry about you if you agree to stop worrying about me. Deal?”
“Deal,” he said, his voice clogging in his throat when she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
He couldn’t have denied her request to save his soul. He kissed her, lightly at first, but when she responded by melting against him, he deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue into her mouth.
Last night he’d made the mistake of treating Raine like a victim, and he vowed not to make that same mistake again. He loosened his iron-clad grip on his control, showing her how much he wanted her.
Grizz barked, interrupting their kiss. Caleb struggled to calm his racing heart as he glared at the dog. “What is your problem? Get your own girl.”
The dog looked at him, perplexed. Raine giggled. “Maybe he needs to go outside.”
Muttering something not very complimentary about the dog, he peeled himself away from Raine long enough to let the dog out. Grizz did his business and then bounded back inside.
He turned back toward Raine. “I’d like you to stay with me tonight. No pressure, we can just sleep if that’s all you want.”
She tilted her head, regarding him solemnly. “And what if I want more than just to sleep?”
His groin tightened, betraying the depth of his need. Forgetting what she’d been through was easier if he concentrated on her. “Your decision, Raine. Always your decision. We can stop any time.”
“Then I decide yes.” Her simple words stole his breath. Her faith in him was humbling.
He was damned if he’d let her down.
He barely remembered leading her to his bedroom. One moment they were standing in the kitchen, the next she was in his arms, kissing him like she’d never stop.
He’d planned to take this slowly, to give her plenty of time to change her mind, but when she tugged at his clothes, he could barely suppress a low groan.
Taking control of the situation the best he could, he shucked off his jeans and shirt, keeping his boxers on, and then helped her strip down to her bra and panties. From there he lifted her up and set her gently on the bed.
She gazed up at him as he stretched out beside her. “Slow and easy, Raine,” he murmured. “There’s no rush, remember?”
“I want you, Caleb,” she whispered, stroking her hand down his chest, dangerously close to the waistband of his boxers.
He swallowed hard, and bent to press a trail of kisses down the side of her neck to the enticing V between her breasts, as he stroked his hand down over the curve of her belly, and then lower to the moist juncture of her thighs. “I want you, too. Let me show you how much.”
She gasped and arched when he pressed against her mound. “Make love to me,” she begged.
“Absolutely,” he promised huskily, determined to make this experience a night she’d never forget.
One that would forever replace the dark shadows of the past.
CHAPTER TWELVE
RAINE clung to Caleb’s shoulders, her senses reeling from his sweetly arousing touch. They weren’t even naked and her body hummed with tension. She knew Caleb was going slow, worried about scaring her—but right now nothing existed but this moment. The two of them together, at last.
His caresses grew more intimate, sending shivers of pleasure rippling down her back. He peeled away her bra and underwear. She lightly raked her nails down his back and the way his muscles tensed and the low groan that rumbled in his throat gave her a secret thrill of satisfaction.
Caleb wanted her. Truly wanted her. And knowing he wanted her was the best aphrodisiac in the world.
When he continued to caress her, driving her to the edge, she sensed what he intended and pulled away. “No, Caleb. Not just me. Both of us together.”
He stared at her, his eyes glittering with desire. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” She reached out to stroke his hard length beneath his boxers and he let out a low groan. “You’re overdressed,” she chided.
He drew back and fumbled for a condom. After stripping off his boxers, he sheathed himself and then rose above her. For a split second she froze, but then he kissed her and she relaxed, knowing this was exactly what she wanted.
As if sensing her moment of unease, he flipped onto his back, tugging her over so that she straddled him. His smoky gray eyes were nearly black with need. “Your choice, Raine,” he huskily reminded her.
She stroked his chest and lifted up, until he was right where she
wanted him to be. And when she gingerly pressed against him, he let out another low groan.
Beads of sweat popped out on his forehead but he didn’t move, refusing to take control. She wasn’t very experienced, had only one lover in college, but she lifted her hips and slid down, until he filled her. Even then he didn’t move so she repeated the movement, lifting up and down, finding the rhythm and enjoying being the one in control.
He grasped her hips, deepening his thrusts, and she gave a murmur of encouragement. The tension built to the point where she didn’t think she could hold back another moment.
And then abruptly, she peaked, spasming with pleasure so intense she cried out at the same moment she felt Caleb pulsating inside her.
Together, at last.
She was asleep when Grizzly nudged her hand. She opened one eye and peered at the clock, noting the sun had just barely begun to peek over the horizon. It was early. Too early. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore him.
Grizz nudged her again, insistently, and she let out a tired sigh, knowing the poor dog probably needed to go outside. Carefully, so as not to wake Caleb, who was sprawled across the center of the bed, she slid out from beneath his arm. Grabbing her jeans and one of his sweatshirts, she hastily dressed before tiptoeing from his bedroom.
She softly closed the door behind her, so he could sleep a little longer, and then met Grizzly at the back door, where he waited rather impatiently.
“Go on, you big oaf,” she said fondly, opening the door.
She made herself a pot of coffee, figuring Caleb wouldn’t mind. When the coffee finished brewing, she added her favorite vanilla-flavored creamer, and then carried the mug outside.
Curled up in Caleb’s Adirondack chair, she watched Grizz sniff the grass and basked in the glorious night they’d shared.
Being intimate with Caleb had been amazing. He had been tender and kind, treating her as a precious treasure yet making it clear how much he wanted her.
Maybe they could make this work. Surely he’d trust her now.
She sipped her coffee and forced herself to face the truth.
She was falling in love with Caleb.
Love. There was a part of her that was amazed, considering everything she’d been through, at how she could actually fall in love with Caleb. Somehow it was easier now to relinquish her heart.
Yet on the heels of her happiness came a warning chill. What if Caleb didn’t feel the same way? Sure, he cared about her, he’d told her that much, but love? In order to love someone you had to trust them completely. Implicitly.
Was Caleb capable of loving her the way she loved him?
Curling her fingers around the steaming mug, she tried to suppress her dire thoughts. He’d promised to work on his trust issues. She wasn’t foolish enough to believe it would happen overnight. As long as he was making the effort, she could be patient.
Grizzly sniffed his way around the yard, happily marking every bush and tree with his scent, making her smile. From the very beginning she’d always felt at home with Caleb. There’d been this sense of rightness in being with him.
“Raine?” he bellowed so loudly she started, sloshing coffee onto the front of his sweatshirt. She uncurled herself from the chair, even as Grizzly bounded toward the door.
“I’m out here,” she called.
He threw open the door, his gaze landing on her with something akin to wary disbelief. “I couldn’t find you.”
“Grizzly needed to go out and I didn’t want to wake you.” She tried to make light of the situation, but his brief yet very real panic couldn’t be ignored.
He’d thought she’d left. Like his mother had abandoned him all those years ago. No wonder he found it so difficult to trust.
And in that moment she realized he’d never really gotten over that feeling of being abandoned. Not really. And though she believed he’d try, she honestly didn’t know if he ever would.
Raine began the process of cooking eggs and bacon for breakfast, sensing Caleb was annoyed with himself.
Determined to remain positive, she chatted as if nothing had happened. Caleb needed time and there was no rush. So she put forth her best effort, telling Caleb about some of the other animals at the shelter.
“Which reminds me, I probably need to get home soon,” she said lightly. “Spice is going to be very unhappy with me.”
“No, Spice is going to be unhappy with me,” Caleb corrected. “Especially when you go home smelling like Grizz.”
She shrugged. “I love my cat, but someday Spice is going to have to learn to co-exist with a dog, because I really want a dog of my own, too.”
Caleb’s smile was fleeting, but then he stared broodingly at his plate. “I hope you’re not leaving because I acted like an idiot,” he said finally.
“No, but tell me, how did you think I’d gotten home without a car? The distance between your place and mine is a pretty long walk.”
He shrugged, his expression tense. “I wasn’t thinking, it was a knee-jerk reaction.”
Like the night he’d come in and found a semi-intoxicated Jake draped all over her, trying to kiss her.
She pushed her plate away. “Caleb, I could tell you I’d never betray you like that, but I’m pretty sure that nothing I can say will convince you. This is something you have to figure out on your own.”
He gave a terse nod and rose to his feet. He stacked their dirty plates and then carried them into the kitchen. “I want to change, so maybe I’ll take lessons from you.”
“Not me,” she protested. Her cellphone chirped and she frowned, pulling the instrument from the pocket of her jeans. She recognized her youngest brother’s number on the screen. “Hello?”
“Raine?” Michael’s familiar voice boomed in her ear. “Is that you?”
“Mikey! It’s good to hear from you,” she said, sincerely pleased to hear from the youngest of her three brothers. “What’s up?”
“Where are you?” he demanded. “I’m at your apartment, and your car is here, but you’re not answering the door.”
Oh, boy. Her eyes widened in alarm. He was at her apartment? What on earth for? She ignored his over-protective tone. “Yes, Mikey, you’re right. I’m not there. I can be there in a few minutes—though, if you need me. Is something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, but I’m in town for two days of training and figured I could bunk with my baby sister. I left you a message on your answering machine—didn’t you get it?”
He had? She hadn’t listened to her messages lately. “Er, no, I didn’t.”
“So I came to your apartment, and found your car was here, but you’re not. You told me you worked second shift, right? I figured I needed to get here before you headed off to work.”
She sighed and glanced at Caleb, who was listening to her one-sided conversation with a frown. “I don’t work today, and it’s fine if you want to stay with me for a few days.”
“Where are you?” he demanded.
She refused to respond to her brother’s Neanderthal tactics. “I’ll be home in about fifteen to twenty minutes. You can either wait for me or go find something to do for a while.”
“I’ll wait,” he said, and she could just imagine the scowl on her handsome brother’s face.
“Fine. See you in a bit.” She snapped her phone shut.
“Let me guess, one of your brothers?” Caleb asked wryly.
“Yes.” She supposed it was a good sign that he didn’t assume it was some former boyfriend. “He’s at my apartment, waiting for me.”
“Then I guess we’d better get going.” Caleb let Grizzly outside and then led the way out to his car. “Are you going to tell him?”
“About us? I think he’s going to figure it out when you bring me home,” she said with a weary sigh. She wasn’t in the mood for her brother’s macho protectiveness, she really wasn’t.
“No, not about us. About the assault.”
She couldn’t temper the flash of annoyance. “No. Why would
I do that?”
“Because he’s family, and he obviously cares about you. He should know,” Caleb persisted.
After they’d spent the night making love, he went right back to the assault? Disappointment stabbed deep. Hadn’t they moved beyond that? “No, he doesn’t need to know. And if I were you, I’d worry about yourself, because Michael is not going to be pleased to meet you.” At the moment she wasn’t so pleased with Caleb either.
He sent her an exasperated glance. “It’ll be fine.”
“If you say so,” she muttered darkly, crossing her arms over her chest.
When Caleb pulled up in front of her eight-unit apartment building, she saw her brother pacing on the sidewalk, talking and gesturing wildly into his phone. Great. No doubt he was telling Ian and Slade all about her spending the night with a man.
Good grief, she didn’t need this.
She pasted a smile on her face when she climbed out of Caleb’s car. Caleb came round to stand beside her and when Michael saw them, he abruptly ended his conversation and came striding toward her. “Hi, Raine. Who’s this?”
“Caleb, this is my brother, Michael. Mikey, this is my friend Caleb Stewart. He’s one of the ED physicians on staff at Trinity Medical Center.”
“So what? Am I supposed to be impressed he’s some sort of doctor?” Michael demanded, glaring at Caleb. “After he’s spent the night sleeping with my baby sister?”
She rolled her eyes. “Knock it off. I’m twenty-six years old and you’re acting like an idiot. What I do with my personal time is none of your business.”
Her brother’s gaze narrowed in warning. She’d known he’d react like this, as if she were some sixteen-year-old who couldn’t make her own decisions.
“Michael, it’s nice to meet you.” Caleb stepped forward to offer his hand and she had to give him credit for trying to make peace. Her brother reluctantly shook it. “Raine talks about her three older brothers all the time. I know she cares about you very much.”
Her brother’s gaze softened a little. “I’m glad to hear that, because you need to know that if you hurt her, the three of us will hold you responsible.”