by Rinelle Grey
What the hell was wrong with her?
Yes, Calrian had been an attractive man, there was no denying that, but that didn’t explain why she felt this way. This wasn’t just an attraction to a hot stranger. The intensity of her feelings towards him were unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
His words, about how if they were separated they would grow weak and die, echoed in her head. Was this the beginning of that? She opened and closed her fist a few times, but it felt just the same as always.
Rylee whirled around, away from the window, and began tidying up the living room. Books back on the shelf, dirty laundry into the basket. She made sure she didn’t look towards the window again, even though the pull was strong.
Was he out there, watching her even as she watched him? Was that why she wanted to stare at the darkened trees? If so, that meant he hadn’t left when she’d told him to.
That thought should have made her angry and afraid. But the truth was, if she really could somehow sense he was there, that meant he’d been telling the truth, there was some sort of bond between them.
And if he were telling the truth…
But he couldn’t possibly be, could he?
Her eyes flicked up, searching the treeline, but she saw nothing.
She had to be imagining it, right? Dragons weren’t real. Magic wasn’t real. The sort of bond he suggested couldn’t be real.
Could it?
Heat flooded through her. Need, longing, desire, all coursing through her veins, heating them to the point of boiling. She gritted her teeth, trying to force it away, and when it finally eased a little, she felt weak, and a little dizzy.
“Go clean your teeth and get ready for bed,” she told Rowan, ignoring his usual protests.
She was more than ready for bed herself. Maybe once she was asleep this feeling would fade, and when she woke up it would be only a distant memory. Everything would seem better in the clear light of day.
That possibility eased some of the tension in her body. She marshalled Rowan into bed, then had her own shower and cleaned her teeth.
Finally, she was sitting in her bed, a real estate catalogue in her lap.
Usually, this was her time to relax. She enjoyed reading through the catalogue, even though she’d read it before. She had several pages in the commercial section dog eared, dreams of a bed and breakfast running through her head. Small enough that she could manage it herself and be there for Rowan when he got home from school.
She opened the book, flicking through the pages that she’d marked. But no matter how hard she tried, she kept finding herself staring at the pictures, not seeing them, the events of the night replaying in her head.
The first moment Calrian had touched her, and how immediate the desire and need had been. That feeling, deep in the pit of her stomach, when she’d started into his eyes.
How he’d said he was looking for her.
His words made her stomach curl deliciously, even though she knew they shouldn’t. In all her life, no one had ever said they were looking for her. That they wanted her.
And he didn’t either, Rylee reminded herself. He’d said that this was caused by a magical bond. A bond he needed to heal or something. These feelings weren’t real. That was why they were like nothing she’d ever experienced before. They were just designed to make her fall into his arms and give him what he needed.
And yet, even knowing all that, she didn’t want them to stop.
That was the part that scared her most. It made her feel off balance. And she hated the powerless feeling that went along with it. That was why she’d left Eric and come here. She was fighting so hard to regain control of her life, she wasn’t about to give it up to some wacky stranger, no matter how strong these feelings were.
Rylee gave a sigh, put the catalogue on the bedside table, and curled up under the blankets to try to sleep. Her head had started to throb gently, but not quite enough for her to get up and take something for it. A good sleep would fix it, wouldn’t it?
She lay in her usual position, on her stomach, one hand tucked up under the pillow, and closed her eyes. For a few moments, she felt the usual relaxation she felt when she reached this point of the day. Her body sank into the bed, and she took a deep breath.
Before she even had time to enjoy the comfort, the itching started. She grimaced and rolled over, scratching her back as best she could reach it, then tried again.
This time, it felt like her whole skin was crawling, trying to inch itself off her bones.
Rylee flipped onto her side and curled up that way, trying to ignore the feeling, hoping it would go away. But it was no better. The throb of her head was more noticeable now, twinging every time she moved.
She rolled onto her stomach again, and closed her eyes, taking deep, calming breaths.
Something stirred in the pit of her belly, a craving so strong she could almost taste it.
Taste him.
What would it feel like to kiss him? To run her hands over those strong, firm, muscles? To have his arms around her and to feel safe? Protected?
A shudder of longing ran through her.
She’d searched for that feeling her whole life. That was why she’d been drawn to Eric. He’d promised to take care of her, told her she’d never be lonely, or unhappy again. That he’d do everything for her.
And he had.
He’d just never listened to what she’d actually wanted. He’d always been sure he knew what was best, and for a while, she’d believed him. When she’d been at home with a young baby, and everything had seemed so big and impossible, it had been almost comforting to have someone who seemed so sure of everything. Someone who had no problem making a decision.
It hadn’t been until the fog had cleared, when Rowan was about three, that she’d realised how fully Eric controlled her life. Both their lives.
It had taken her another eight years to break away from him.
She was not going to give in to that feeling again. She could take care of herself. That’s what she was here to prove. She didn’t need a man. Not to protect her. Not to tell her what to do. And certainly not for sex.
She could take care of that herself too.
The thought made her blush a little, but it was dark, and there was nobody around to see.
It had been a long time since she’d touched herself. Not since she was a teenager, and everything had been new. Eric had always said that she didn’t need to pleasure herself. He’d insisted that was what he was around for. He’d seemed to take the very idea as an affront.
And she’d believed him. Actual sex was so much better, wasn’t it? Pleasuring yourself was only what you did if you didn’t have a man to do it for you.
Not that sex with him had been that satisfying. Oh, sure, it had been good in the beginning, when it had been new. But after she’d fallen pregnant, and especially after they had a child, it had been more of an obligation than an enjoyment.
Not once, when she’d been with Eric, had it felt like this.
She slid her hand under the blankets and into her pants. She hesitated for a moment, a little uncertain, then pushed the feeling away. There was no reason for her to be nervous. This was perfectly normal and natural.
And as her fingers rubbed over herself, and she gave a low groan, she discovered it was also perfectly arousing.
She stared out slow, rubbing side to side, Calrian’s face appearing in her mind. For a moment, Rylee wondered if she should banish that image. Perhaps pick a movie star or something instead. But it wasn’t as if he’d ever know. And he did have a perfect body. Better than any movie star she could think of.
And the way he’d made her feel when he touched her, even just brushing her feet under the dinner table, sent waves of desire through her. As she imagined him running his hands over her, kissing her, his tongue thrusting into her mouth, the waves intensified, until it felt like her whole body was on fire.
She moaned again, rubbing faster, an ache spreading through ev
ery part of her. Need and desire built quickly, overflowing, sending spasms of ecstasy through her without warning. Rylee gasped, breathless.
She continued to explore, her fingers gentler now, less urgent, as the last few waves of pleasure rolled through her.
Had it been like that before, when she was younger?
Somehow, she didn’t think so.
Her lips twisted in a smile in the darkness. She owed that strange man, in a way. Without him, and the way he’d made her feel, it might have taken her far longer to have that experience.
Not that she was ever going to tell him that.
The very thought made her cheeks flush and her muscles clench enjoyably again. She gave a soft groan.
A shiver of anticipation ran through her, heating her blood, as though ready to go again. Rylee frowned. That hadn’t been the way it had been when she’d been younger. Then, she’d been relaxed after. Ready for sleep.
The headache she’d felt earlier was gone, but that was the only thing that had changed.
Her whole body still hummed with need.
An urgent need, so intense that it felt wrong. She pushed herself up, sliding her feet off the edge of the bed, but when she tried to stand, her legs shook. She winced as the headache returned with a vengeance.
She gritted her teeth and headed out to the kitchen, trying to ignore her shaky knees. She took something for the headache while she heated up some milk in the microwave. Some hot chocolate was just the thing to help her relax, and once the headache eased, the warm milk would help her sleep, wouldn’t it?
As she waited for the milk to warm up, her eyes were drawn to the treeline again. Her head pulsed with a sudden pain.
Why did she keep feeling like she needed to go out there? Needed to find that strange man again and kiss him until this feeling subsided? Her heart leapt at the idea, and the headache eased just a little, as though promising that finding him would fix the pain.
Was there any chance that his wild story could possibly be true?
If it weren’t, then shouldn’t she be satisfied now? She’d had an orgasm, she shouldn’t still be aching with desire, should she? But her late night occupation seemed to have done nothing at all to help with the need coursing through her. In fact, it seemed to have made it more intense.
Worse still, she was starting to feel physically unwell. The headache, the dizziness, the weak legs. All those seemed only to lend credence to his story.
Was there any chance he could be a dragon, and that they were somehow bonded? The idea made her heart pound uncomfortably, excitement mingling with fear. But it didn’t seem quite so impossible as it had earlier.
Maybe these symptoms weren’t going to go away until she went out there, found him, and made love to him in the moonlight? Her heart beat a little faster at the thought. That would be exciting, wouldn’t it? And it would probably feel amazing. Surely making love with a dragon was something special.
The microwave dinged, and Rylee gave herself a shake and took the cup out. She really was losing it. Maybe she’d had too much sun today. The thoughts she was having were crazy, not to mention entirely unlike her. She was just tired, and had a headache, that’s all. Not entirely unexpected, after such a stressful day. She’d feel better once the painkillers kicked in.
She added some powdered chocolate to the milk and went and sat on the couch to drink it.
But no matter what she did, her eyes were drawn back to the treeline, her body ached with an unfulfilled need, her head throbbed, and when her hand started to shake on the cup and she was worried she’d drop the hot milk in her lap, she put it down and bit her lip.
There was no point in continuing to deny it. His crazy claims were starting to seem more and more likely the more she thought about them.
What if he really was a dragon, and the reason she was feeling this way really was because he’d formed some sort of magical bond with her when they’d touched? What if this was the weakness he’d said could happen if they were separated? Her heart skipped a beat, but this time, she didn’t draw back from the possibility.
He’d said that if the ritual were completed, by them sleeping together, then it would be done.
He had said that, hadn’t he?
He’d certainly implied it.
Well, there was one way to find out. If he had been telling the truth, and he was still out there, then this feeling should ease as soon as she was near him again.
The craving surged at the thought of being close to him, warming her body deliciously, implying that she was on the right track. Thoughts of heading out to find him filled her mind, consuming her.
Probably she was being naïve for even considering the possibility that this was true. Her father always said she believed people too easily, saw the good in them, and that it would hurt her someday. He was sure everyone was out to get something.
Experience had shown Rylee that he was often right, no matter how much she wanted him not to be.
She wanted to believe in a world where people were good, and kind, and didn’t try to deceive others. She especially wanted to believe that about Calrian. Try as she might, she couldn’t convince herself he had any bad intentions. Despite the fact that her mind told her she shouldn’t, her heart trusted him.
Nothing she’d seen of him, not from how much he’d tried to avoid touching her, right up to the moment she’d told him to leave and he’d done it without protest, led her to believe he wanted to hurt her.
He hadn’t even been the one to form this bond. She had.
And if he was telling the truth, then he was feeling as bad as she was right now. Maybe worse.
She needed to do something to fix this.
The question was, what? How far was she prepared to go to help him?
The thought of sleeping with him filled her with giddy excitement and waves of delicious desire. That was what she wanted to do. What she craved.
But if his story was true, then this wasn’t real. She only felt like this because of this bond. Because of some sort of magic.
And much as the idea might seem exciting right now, if she slept with him, she was going to end up regretting it. He’d be healed, or whatever it was that happened, and would go back to wherever it was that dragons went, and she’d be left with nothing. Nothing except a longing to have him back.
She’d be right back where she started when she’d left Eric. She couldn’t do that again. She needed to keep her distance. She couldn’t let herself be tied to another man, possibly even with a magical bond of some kind, when she’d only just escaped from the last one.
Her heart sank as she realised the truth. She couldn’t sleep with him.
Rylee dropped her head and closed her eyes. She let herself wallow in the disappointment for a moment, then straightened up and pushed it away.
Even if she had no intention of sleeping with him, that didn’t mean she couldn’t help him. He’d said all she had to do was stay close to him. That wasn’t that hard, was it?
Her heart wavered a little, but the reality was, he was the only one who could answer the questions she had about the way she was feeling, and possibly the only one who could fix it.
She was going to have to go and find him.
She couldn’t deny that her heart beat a little faster at the thought.
Chapter 8
Calrian could feel the small amount of energy he’d gained from being close to the woman draining, even as he hid behind the trees and watched the house. But he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it.
What could he do anyway?
She’d rejected him. Thrown him out of her house. He had to respect that. To do anything else would go against everything he believed in. Everything he’d fought for.
What he should do was leave here and try to make it home to the lair. Finding his clan and a dragon woman, someone who would understand his need, and what was involved in the ritual, was his best option.
But he didn’t move.
Ever
y now and then, he caught sight of her face, staring out the window in his direction.
She was feeling the pull, just as he was. Maybe there was a chance, however small, that she’d reconsider. When she started to feel the effects of the Mesmer bond, surely she’d realise he’d been telling the truth. Wouldn’t she?
He found a tree stump and sat down, concerned that even standing was becoming an effort. Even if he left now, he wasn’t sure he’d make it back to the lair. It was a long way, and he couldn’t transform and fly.
And every step he took away from her would only make him weaker.
No, his best chance was here.
He stared at her as she glanced up at the window again, willing her to come to him. To help him.
To trust him.
But she turned away again, and his heart sank.
It sank even more when the lights went out in the house. Everything was still and dark, and Calrian struggled to breathe.
Any hope he’d held out that she would change her mind and come and find him, left. And now he’d waited too long for him to have any chance of getting to the lair. He could already feel himself weakening, his hands shook, and his head throbbed.
He stared towards the darkened house, his heart aching worse than his head. What upset him most was that when he died, she would.
Then, for no reason he could explain, the headache eased. Not completely, it still pounded like someone was hitting his head with a rock, but it was noticeably better.
He stared at the house, but it was still dark. No indication that she was even thinking of coming to find him. So why was he feeling better?
The small bit of relief was enough to spur him to action. If he didn’t do something now, he knew neither of them would survive this. And he couldn’t bear that thought.
He wouldn’t force himself on her, wouldn’t even force his way into her house, but perhaps if he stayed near the wall outside, that might be close enough. If he could just regain enough energy, maybe he could find his way back to his lair, and release her—release them both, from the bond.
It was all he could think of.
As it was, the walk across the open fields was hard enough. His headache returned with a vengeance before he’d made it far, amplifying the shaking in his legs. He stumbled several times, only the fact that his entire body was encouraging him to step closer and closer making the walk possible at all.