by Ruchi Kokcha
‘Get ready and meet me at the government mental hospital at 11,’ Khyati interrupted him. ‘See you soon.’ She hung up.
Avik looked at the clock. It was 10.10 a.m. already. He jumped out of bed and ran out of his room, calling out to his mother.
‘Ma, where is Khyati?’
‘She left quite early in the morning, Avik. She said she had to meet someone urgently,’ Shakuntala shouted back from the kitchen.
Avik got ready in a hurry, took his mother’s car and sped to the government hospital where Dr Neerja was the head of the psychiatry department. Khyati was waiting for him at the entrance. He parked the car and they went inside.
4
The hospital was no less crowded and noisy than a fish market. They found it difficult to make their way through the corridor. There were people sitting on benches, while some, who were tired of standing while waiting for their turn, were either sitting or lying on the floor. A queer stench filled the place, a combination of sweat, medicines and floor cleaner.
Khyati covered her nose with her stole; her eyes were brimming because of the odour. It was nauseating. She clutched Avik’s arm tightly so as not to lose him amidst the crowd. He walked quickly through the corridor, pulling her along. All of a sudden an adolescent boy in rags who was lying in the corridor grabbed Khyati’s leg. Khyati tried hard to free herself, but his grip was tight. She started shouting for help. Avik tried to loosen the boy’s grip, but could not do it by himself and called for help.
On hearing the commotion, two male attendants rushed to the spot to free Khyati while a female attendant went to call the doctor. As the three of them were trying to loosen the boy’s grip, Avik saw the doctor come running. The nurse handed him an injection, which he quickly administered to the boy. A few minutes later the boy’s grip loosened as he slowly lost consciousness. He was taken away to the male ward.
Avik noticed that Khyati was crying. He felt deeply grateful to her for all the trouble she was going to for his sake. He went up to her, wiped the tears from her cheeks, pulled her close and held her in his arms. When they continued down the corridor, Avik kept his arm around her shoulders to ensure that she was safe.
There weren’t many people waiting outside Dr Neerja’s room and they were soon sent in to see her. She was feeding a pair of goldfish and did not seem to notice Avik and Khyati as they entered. She was talking to the fish in a baby voice, just like a mother talks to an infant. The goldfish seemed to respond to her voice, as if they would jump out of the bowl straight into her hand. She turned around to find Avik and Khyati standing near her desk and asked them to take a seat. The baby voice was replaced by a serious tone.
‘I went through Ananki’s file. Strangely, the diagnosis and medications listed in the file are quite different from the ones in the referral letter written by Dr Kaul,’ Dr Neerja told them.
‘What do you mean, doctor?’ asked Khyati, surprised.
‘In the letter he says that she is suffering from serious histrionic personality disorder bordering on insanity. But according to her file, she suffered only from depression and anxiety in the initial stages. There is no record of any other psychological disorder,’ she explained.
‘You mean she was not mad,’ Avik interrupted.
‘It is worth noting that the dosage of antidepressants was steadily increased. Such high doses are never recommended, for they can cause severe addiction and withdrawal symptoms. She was also given neuroleptics, which are usually administered to people with a severe mental illness. It seems likely that her condition was aggravated.’
As she finished speaking, she placed Ananki’s file in front of them. Avik gaped at the closed file for some time, struggling to speak.
‘You mean to say that Dr Kaul intentionally gave her medication to make her condition worse?’
‘It seems so,’ Dr Neerja replied.
‘But why would he want his patient to go crazy?’ Khyati asked.
‘He must have been told to do so by someone who wanted her to go mad,’ Avik replied.
‘Avik, I would advise you to stay out of it. Her father is a very powerful man. I have known Dr Kaul for many years and before today, I would never even have thought of challenging his diagnosis. Stay away from this case, you two. Go now,’ Dr Neerja said as she stood up.
Avik and Khyati got up and left in silence.
Avik dropped Khyati off at the metro station before returning to his hotel room. It was difficult for him to accept the fact that he might not be able to complete the assignment for which he had left everything behind. Well, almost everything.
He stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes. He pictured Ananki Rajput, the girl next door.
Five days ago she had been just an old story. Now, her name haunted his consciousness.
Why is her story so important to me? Is it only because of the promotion I am expecting after this, the salary hike that will help me buy a new apartment to show off to my colleagues and friends? No. I can do without that. It is fame that I seek, being known to every single person, young or old, fame that will confer immortality upon me, so that my name lives on long after I am gone.
He knew he would not rest till he found out the truth behind Ananki’s story.
He picked up his phone and texted Dr Neerja, requesting another meeting.
The next day he went to the Rajput family’s bungalow in Civil Lines. He did not plan to meet Mr Rajput, given Dr Neerja’s warning, but he hoped to meet Ananki’s younger sister if her father was not at home. He told the guard that he was Ananki’s friend and asked if he could see her. The guard looked at him suspiciously; clearly, the tactic had been used on him a hundred times before.
‘The family has moved abroad,’ he said and shut the gate in Avik’s face.
Avik was not ready to give up so easily. He knew the guard was lying. As all the other threads of the story seemed out of his reach at the moment, Ananki’s sister was the only one who might lead him further.
There is no other way, he thought, and decided to spy on the bungalow. On the morning of the fifth day, he saw three girls coming out of the premises. They got into a red Honda City and left. Avik followed them to North Campus in his car. They parked the car opposite the Arts Faculty building. As they were walking to the building, Avik called out to them.
‘Hey, please wait for me,’ he shouted as he ran towards them.
The girls looked at him but did not stop, no doubt thinking that he was an eve-teaser or this was a prank being played on them by the boys from the Law Faculty.
Avik caught up with them before they entered the building.
‘Please. I beg of you. Wait. It is a matter of someone’s life. Stop, please,’ he said as he gasped for breath.
Seeing his troubled countenance, one of them decided to listen to him.
‘All right. We have to submit some papers, but meet us at the Vivekananda statue in half an hour,’ the girl said, pointing to a black statue standing directly behind him.
Avik stood out in the sun, waiting. It had been almost two hours since the girls had entered the Arts Faculty building and there was still no sign of them. Avik wondered if there was another exit in the building, if they had fooled him. After all, why should they come back to help him; they did not even know him. As these doubts ran through his mind, he saw the girl who had spoken to him waving at him. She was extremely beautiful, though not very tall, probably not more than 5’4”. Quite fit and with an attractive figure, she was definitely a head-turner. Avik quickly walked up to her.
‘Sorry for being late, but it can take forever to make submissions.’
‘What are you studying?’ Avik asked as they waited for the other two girls to join them.
‘We are doing our master’s in English literature, final year. I am Priyanka, and these are my friends, Sarika and Hetal,’ the girl said as her friends walked up to them.
Avik realized that she was Ananki’s sister.
He introduced himself to the three
girls, shaking hands with each of them, holding Priyanka’s soft hand for a little longer than he held the others’.
‘I don’t mean to trouble you, but I need your help in a really important matter. It would be great if we could go someplace where we can sit and talk and I can have something to drink,’ Avik pleaded.
The girls seemed hesitant, but agreed to go with him to Hudson Lane in Kamla Nagar. They sat in a rickshaw and Avik followed them in another one.
Hudson Lane had many memories associated with it for Avik. It has always been a mecca for collegegoers. It offers cheap food and drinks and is a blessing for young lovers who don’t want to wander around in the Delhi Ridge area surrounding campus, Avik recollected as the rickshaws reached Hudson Lane.
They selected a restaurant and after they had ordered drinks, Priyanka asked Avik why he wanted to talk to them.
‘I am a journalist, working on a very important case. I have no intention of harming you or getting you into trouble,’ Avik said in an attempt to win her trust.
‘What have we to do with this case of yours?’ Priyanka asked.
‘Do you know Ananki Rajput?’he asked.
At this Priyanka stood up and left like a bullet, without a word. Avik had caught a glimpse of the grief on her face. He rushed after her.
‘Are you Ananki’s sister?’ he asked, catching hold of her wrist.
She shrugged his hand off and phoned her chauffeur as she continued walking towards the main road. Avik followed her, reiterating that it was important for him to learn more about Ananki.
‘Why is this important to you? Who are you to her? A family member? Relative? Friend? Who? Yes, I am her sister. If I can survive a life without her, then anyone can. What difference does it make to you if she is living or dead or if she is stuck somewhere in the middle?’ Priyanka howled at him. Passersby stared at them, making Avik a little uncomfortable.
Avik was stunned by the extent of her fury. He kept mum as he followed her to her car, which had just pulled up, but as she opened the door, he asked her to listen to him for one last time.
‘I am nothing to her. But she has become someone to me. I have never seen her, but her presence holds my mind and constantly pushes me to seek her out in the real world. It might sound insane to you, but this is my truth, and in turn I would like the same from you,’ Avik said earnestly.
Priyanka noticed how casually he used the word ‘insane’.
‘If only you really knew what being insane is like. It is a double-layered mirrored box that isolates the one locked inside from the rest of the world. The outer world can only see its own reflection while the person locked inside can see his or her own self, a self behind another self till infinity, each different from its predecessor, making it impossible for the one caught inside to choose one self over another,’ Priyanka had tears in her eyes as she said this, and she held on to the open car door. She took a deep breath before continuing, ‘What if, in such a dilemma, one loses oneself? Gives up on every self that one sees? Is that what insanity is?’
Not knowing what to say, Avik remained silent.
She looked at him, and then seemed to come to a decision.
‘Meet me tomorrow at the same place. I will come only for a short period of time, as I am not allowed to stay out for long,’ she said.
‘Can I have your phone number?’ he asked.
She got inside the car without replying to him and asked the chauffeur to drive away. He quickly wrote his number on a piece of paper and threw it inside the open window of the car. She rolled up the window as the car vanished in a cloud of dust.
Priyanka did not turn up the next day. Her friend Hetal came to inform Avik that Priyanka could not leave the house, nor could she make a phone call, for her father was keeping a close eye on her outings.
‘He has become very strict after the tragedy at home,’ Hetal told him.
Avik led Hetal to a cement bench so they could sit and talk.
‘What tragedy?’ he inquired.
‘Priyanka’s sister seems to have lost it completely because of some past trauma and her mother’s death. That is all I know. The entire family broke to pieces. Anyway, I have to leave, but Priyanka said she would meet you tomorrow at this same spot,’ she replied.
Avik stood up and walked with her to her car.
That evening he got a call from Sahay asking about his progress with the case.
‘I am uncovering information bit by bit. It’s a lot more complicated than we ever imagined it to be and will require more time and patience.’
Avik thought it better not to inform Sahay about Dr Neerja’s warning. He would likely be called back empty-handed and Sahay would make sure to keep him busy with some mundane assignment.
‘What about the new apartment?’ Avik tried to divert Sahay’s attention from the case.
‘You will be moved soon, don’t worry about that. Just concentrate on what’s been given to you,’ Sahay said quickly and hung up.
Avik wanted to remain in Delhi and find Ananki. For a moment, he felt that the journalist in him had died; he no longer cared if the story was published or not. All that mattered to him was Ananki’s story. No matter how far he travelled away from it, he would somehow always return to her story.
Her phantasm in my subconscious will haunt me till I reach her in the real world, Avik thought as he drifted asleep.
The following day, he reached the meeting point at the appointed hour. He was relieved to see that Priyanka was waiting for him. ‘I’m happy you could make it today. But how did you manage to come here today and not yesterday?’
‘I am sorry for not turning up yesterday. I had a submission to make today so I could meet you. Dad keeps a check on everything I do, you see,’ she replied as she put her heavy bag down on the ground. ‘Shall we hurry up? It’s too hot here,’ she prompted him.
Avik looked at her overstuffed bag.
‘Are you planning to run away?’ he asked.
‘I am not running away, I’m making you run away with someone.’
‘Ah, I see! Who is the lucky girl, if I may know?’ He chuckled.
‘Ananki,’ Priyanka replied and took out a fountain pen, a black diary, a photo album, a pocketbook of Shakespeare’s sonnets, a mouth organ and a chequered scarf from the bag. She handed them all to him.
‘That’s all I have of hers. Go now, before anyone sees you with these things. I can’t stay, but all these things will direct you to her.’
‘Look, I am sorry for not saying anything earlier, but I should have given you my condolences the day before. Will you accept them today?’ Avik asked Priyanka as he placed the objects on the bench.
Priyanka could only nod at him in answer.
He read the sadness in her eyes. It was certainly not a good time to ask her, but he had no choice. He knew he might never see her again.
‘Priyanka, will you pardon me if I ask you what you think about your mom’s death? Do you think she met with an accident? Or did she have some problems because of which she committed suicide?’
‘She had no problems at all. She had everything a woman could wish for – a successful career, a great family and a doting husband who would do, and did, anything and everything to make her happy. Her death was definitely not a suicide. She just could not have done such a thing,’ Priyanka replied in a low voice.
‘Then you believe it was murder?’ Avik asked.
‘No. No. I did not mean that. As far as I know, she did not have any personal or professional rivalries. Even her competitors admired her. They were part of her social circle. Why would anyone want to kill her? I cannot think of a reason. Maybe it was an accident. Yes, it must have been an accident. It was fate that a woman so dynamic had so little time.’
‘Okay. Do you know anyone who could give me more information on her professional life? Maybe her personal assistant or someone who worked closely with her?’ Avik asked.
‘I am not sure. If I find out, I will text you the information. I
cannot stay any longer. Bye,’ Priyanka said as she hurried to her car.
Avik watched the car till it was lost to sight, and then directed his attention to the things Priyanka had given him.
He picked up the fountain pen. It had a black-and-gold body.
Very classy. It must be an expensive pen, he thought.
He pulled off the cap to find a shiny gold nib with ‘Waterman Paris’ engraved on it. He placed the cap on the back of the pen, picked up the book of sonnets, turned to the last page and wrote Ananki’s name on it.
Although he could not boast of having great handwriting, he had written her name out carefully, in the style of a calligraphic inscription.
He was lost in the beauty of it. Ananki, he whispered to himself.
5
Avik sat cross-legged on the bed, the pen, the photo album, the diary, the book of sonnets, the mouth organ and the scarf laid out in front of him.
He picked up the photo album. It was a scrapbook made by Ananki herself. On the cover she had written ‘The Chronicle of My Life’ in red ink.
Her handwriting is so beautiful, Avik observed as he moved his fingertips over the writing.
In the top left corner of the cover was painted a peacock feather. A golden-yellow lace border made the cover look very attractive.
How artistic, he thought and turned the cover to look at the first page. It had pictures of Ananki as a baby, each with a little caption. In one of them, her mother and father both held her. Something strange caught his eye.
He flipped through the pages quickly and noticed that several photographs had scratches in black ink across them. The marks, however, did not appear to be the work of a child inadvertently scribbling on the pages.
These look deliberate. In every picture in which her mother and father were with Ananki, the image of her mother had been crossed out, her face besmirched with black ink. What can it mean? Avik wondered as he took out his handkerchief and went to the bathroom.
Avik wetted his handkerchief and used it to try and rub off the ink stains from one of the pictures. He could not clean it – the marker was permanent. He then tried to remove the marks with acetone.