by Ruchi Kokcha
He told Dr Neerja that the patient she had come for was getting out of control again and she should come to see him immediately. Saying this, Sonu went out of the cabin and ran towards the stairs that went to the first floor. As expected, Dr Neerja ran after him.
Avik got out of the cabin and briskly walked towards the NGO gate. After making an exit from the main gate, he ran as fast as he could away from the NGO, stopping only when he turned onto a side street at the end of the road. He stood there, panting for breath and recalling Dr Neerja’s words. Appalled, he covered his mouth with his hand, as if preventing himself from puking. It was difficult for him to believe what he had heard. Dr Neerja was the one who had tried to kill him and all the other journalists, for she did not want to lose the huge amount of money Mr Rajput was paying her.
Shaken by what he heard, Avik sat next to a roadside lemonade stall. He bought a chilled bottle of water, opened it and poured water over his head and face in order to calm down.
After a while, Avik thought it was best that he called Mr Rajput and told him about Ananki’s reaction on reading the letter.
‘Mr Rajput, the plan worked. Ananki wants to come home,’ Avik said.
For the next few seconds there was silence at the other end.
‘Mr Rajput, are you there?’ Avik asked.
He could hear a sigh of relief from the other end.
‘Yes. Yes, I am here. I just don’t know how to react right now. All this time, I was torn apart. I could not keep Ananki with me, but being a father I did not want her to stay in that place. I want her to live a normal life away from me,’ Mr Rajput replied.
‘Mr Rajput, your wish might come true but just for now, do you think you can pick her up from the NGO?’ Avik asked him.
‘Never. How can you even think I would go there for her? I don’t want her to see me and change her mind. I will send the car and the keys to my other house. Take her there. I will send Radha there to take care of her. No matter how much she insists, do not bring her here.’ Mr Rajput was adamant.
‘Mr Rajput, I cannot talk to Dr Neerja about releasing Ananki. You have to go to the NGO,’ Avik replied.
‘I will call her and tell her to send Ananki with you. She won’t have any objection after she hears from me.’
‘You don’t understand, Mr Rajput. I cannot face Dr Neerja.’ Avik was insistent.
‘What is the matter, Avik? You sound very disturbed,’ Mr Rajput inquired.
‘Remember I told you that someone shot me? Dr Neerja was behind it. I just overheard her speaking to Dr Tarun. She does not want Ananki to leave the NGO, as it would mean a great financial loss for her. For this she tried to have me killed. I am not going back to that NGO. Either you come and take Ananki or send a car for her. Do not tell Dr Neerja that you plan to take Ananki from the NGO forever; tell her it is only for a day or two, on Priyanka’s wish.’
‘Oh God! I can’t believe Dr Neerja could stoop so low. I trusted her.’ Mr Rajput was shocked at the revelation.
‘We cannot know whom to trust, Mr Rajput.’
‘I will call her immediately and ask her to send Ananki. But you will have to be with her once she is out of the building.’
‘Okay, then send two cars to the NGO. Dr Neerja can escort Ananki to one, but the other car should remain out of sight. I will get into that car and follow Ananki for some distance before shifting into her car,’ Avik suggested.
Dr Neeja tried her best to make Mr Rajput rethink his decision, but she had to give in to his wish. The plan worked. She made Ananki change into the clothes that the chauffeur had brought. She held her hand as they walked through the corridor.
‘Take all your medicines on time. I will call Radha and tell her about them. Do not be stubborn, be back soon. I’ll wait for you,’ Dr Neerja told her as they walked out of the NGO.
‘Don’t worry, see you,’ Ananki replied as she sat in the car that was waiting for her. Dr Neerja waved to her, biting her lower lip. She then dialled Avik’s number to check where he was.
Avik did not pick up her call. Instead, he put his phone on silent mode. He was waiting in the second car parked at some distance from the main gate of the NGO, and asked the driver to follow Ananki’s car as it pulled away. He could see the desperation on Dr Neerja’s face through the tinted window of the car as it drove past her.
As per the plan, Avik shifted into Ananki’s car after they were out of sight of the NGO. Distracted by the recent events, Avik failed to notice the strangeness in Ananki’s attitude as she sat next to him in the rear seat. Ever since she had read the letter, all she had wanted was to confront her father, even if it meant being with Avik.
Avik slipped his fingers into hers. He felt he needed to reassure himself of her feelings for him. His future depended on how this relationship went forward. His breath was shallow as he leant his head against the window. There was a strain of fear underlying his nervousness.
Was it because Ananki could not be trusted or was it because he could not believe the kind of person he had become? Did he assume that being with Ananki would open the doors to Mr Rajput’s wealth and status? Did he really want to spend his life with Ananki? What about love? Did he really love her?
Is love so important? Isn’t love overrated? Not everyone finds the love of their life, their soulmate. Those that do find love lose it little by little every day, in the squabbles and skirmishes of everyday existence. Maybe love is not for me.
Ananki knew that something was wrong with Avik. She had never seen him so lost in his own thoughts. He appeared to her to be a prisoner of his mind.
People philosophize that our body is a cage while our mind stands free. It is gifted with the power of imagination to be wherever it wants to be, to do whatever it wants to do. But actually the mind is a trickster. It changes from being the limitless sky to a tiny cage within the blink of an eye. We do not believe it because we like to see the better, hope for the better, she thought, studying his face.
Avik’s mind was like a wild horse that needed to be tamed. It rushed into decisions that should have been thought over a thousand times. He did not rein in his impulses. On the other hand, despite living in a mental institution, Ananki showed perfect control over hers. Her mind always knew what she wanted, and her body always acted according to it.
They were approaching the turn-off for her home, and when the chauffeur drove past it, Ananki became alarmed.
‘Why did you not take the turn for Civil Lines?’ she asked the driver. ‘Take the next turn,’ she instructed him.
‘But Mr Rajput told me to take you to the house in Panchsheel,’ Avik told her.
He turned to the driver. ‘Take us to Panchsheel.’
Ananki was enraged. She dug her nails into Avik’s wrist, leaving deep red marks. She hit him on his arms till he held her hands tightly. He tried to pacify her, but she threatened to jump out of the moving car if he did not tell the driver to take them home. Avik had no choice but to do as she told him to.
On reaching her home, she did not wait for Avik but ran straight inside. Mr Rajput was in the living room and stood up from the couch on seeing her rushing towards him. She stopped right in front of him, looked him in the eye and showed him the letter. Mr Rajput turned his face away and saw Avik entering the living room. Avik walked up to them and asked Ananki to come with him to her room.
‘It has been a long ordeal for you, Ananki. You need rest. You can talk to your father later,’ Avik said.
‘Please stay out of this, Avik. It’s none of your business,’ she replied, pushing him away.
‘Stay out of it? How can you expect me to stay out of it after all that has happened between us?’ Avik grabbed her hand and attempted to pull her towards her room.
‘Some things are extremely personal, Avik. This is something that is not related to you. I don’t want you mixed up in it, you understand that,’ Ananki said as she freed her hand and pushed him even harder, making him stumble onto the couch.
‘Pl
ease leave,’ she said in a shrill voice.
But Mr Rajput was not ready to face her alone. ‘Please don’t go, Avik,’ he said, the desperation clear in his voice.
Avik nodded.
Ananki did not seem to be interested in Avik any longer. All she wanted was to find out the truth about the letter. She turned to Mr Rajput once again.
‘I want to know if you really wrote this,’ she asked.
He cleared his throat and replied after a pause, ‘Yes. I wrote it.’
Ananki seemed offended by his answer, but she did not stop there.
‘If I was really adopted, where are the adoption papers?’
Mr Rajput was prepared for this question, as was Avik. He looked at Mr Rajput who maintained his composure. Avik prayed for the success of their plan. All depended on whether Mr Rajput could allay Ananki’s doubts.
‘They were lost when we shifted from our previous home to this bungalow. I didn’t want you to know that you were adopted, so I never bothered to get the papers reissued. However, after Kalki’s death I tried to contact the adoption home and found out that they had closed down a long time ago due to lack of resources,’ Mr Rajput replied.
Ananki seemed sceptical. She looked from Avik to her father and sat down on the couch. A range of expressions flashed across her face, as though she was speculating on Mr Rajput’s story. Sometimes she bit her lower lip, sometimes she pursed her lips, at times her eyelids twitched and she rubbed her forehead with two of her fingers. Whether she believed it or not, one thing was for sure, the letter had affected her deeply and it showed in her body language.
Suddenly, Ananki jumped up from the couch and went straight to her room. The men looked at each other in bewilderment. Ananki returned within minutes. She carried a box in her hand. It was a small jewellery box, its surface covered in small mirrors of all shapes and sizes. It looked like a box made in an arts-and-crafts class from leftover mirrors. A tiny lock safeguarded its contents. Ananki placed the box in Mr Rajput’s hands.
‘Open it,’ she told him in a mocking tone.
Mr Rajput looked closely at the box and the lock. He kept it on the table without saying a word.
‘You cannot open it. Just like you could never open my heart and see what was in there for you. But you know what, I don’t care now. I think I will settle for what I have found. But you should see what is inside it,’ Ananki said.
She threw the box on the floor, shattering it into countless tiny mirrors that shimmered. Among them lay a diamond ring. It looked like a full moon amidst an infinite number of stars twinkling in the sky. Mr Rajput reached for it at once. His eyes were full of tears as he looked at it as if it was not just a ring but a memento of something very dear to him. The ring had belonged to Kalki. It was her wedding ring.
‘How did you get hold of Kalki’s ring? Was it not with her at the time of the accident? Did you steal it from her beforehand?’ he cried in anger.
Ananki gave him a sly smile. ‘Steal? You should be thankful that I pulled it off in time so that you can keep it in remembrance of her.’
‘You pulled it off? You saved this ring, but you did not save her from that fatal accident?’ Mr Rajput shouted with rage at Ananki.
‘Accident? You still believe it was an accident?’ Ananki guffawed.
‘I know she killed herself because of you,’ Mr Rajput shouted.
‘Did she really kill herself?’ Ananki burst out laughing as she said it.
The men were stunned.
‘Mrs Rajput did not commit suicide?’ Avik asked.
‘No. She could not understand what had happened between Da and me. She wanted to teach me a lesson. Unfortunately, before she could, she died.’
Mr Rajput could not believe his ears. Although he had always maintained that his wife had died in an accident, all this while he had privately thought that Kalki had committed suicide because she thought her husband had betrayed her by sleeping with Ananki.
No matter how exasperated Mr Rajput was with Ananki for being the cause of his separation from Kalki and her subsequent death, he could not kill her with his own hands. At the same time he did not want to see her ever again either. All he could do was make sure she never came back. But all did not go as he had wanted. There she was standing in front of him, looking right into his eyes and having the audacity to tell him that his wife had died because a mad girl did not want her to live.
‘How could you?’ he shouted.
‘I had to kill her. She did not understand what I felt for you. She wanted to send me away from you. She wanted to live with you happily ever after. I made sure she failed. I killed her because if I had not, then she would have killed me. That was what she had planned when she took me in her car and sped onto the flyover. She wanted to throw me out of the car, straight into the Yamuna. When I realized what she wanted to do, I tried to stop her. We struggled in the car, which crashed into the barricade. The front of the car was hanging over the side of the bridge, but I managed to get out. Then I gave her my hand. She thought I was going to help her get out of the car. Instead I pulled the ring from her hand. I gave the car a kick. Within seconds the car became her coffin.’ Ananki laughed loudly after narrating the account.
‘How could you kill your mother? Did you not think even once about what you were doing before committing such a cardinal sin?’ Mr Rajput howled.
‘What sin? You told me in your letter that she was not my real mother. So that makes me a murderer, not a sinner.’
‘Murder too is a sin, Ananki. When you killed her she was your mother by law,’ Mr Rajput said.
‘All I knew was that she was the wall that stood between you and me. You would never have loved me if she lived,’ Ananki replied.
Mr Rajput could no longer hear the word ‘love’ from her. He went to her and slapped her hard across her face, making her fall to the floor. She looked up at him and smiled, making him all the more enraged. He grabbed her by the collar and pulled her up, then held her by the throat, increasing the pressure as she stood there in front of him. Avik rushed over to them and begged Mr Rajput to leave her, pulling at the hand that was trying to strangle her.
‘Mr Rajput, no. Please calm down, for God’s sake, calm down, leave her, please,’ he pleaded.
‘The wall still persists. It will always be present, no matter who lives and who dies. I can never love you, even though she is dead. I hate you and I will always hate you, till my last breath.’ Mr Rajput pushed Ananki onto the couch and hurried out of the living room for some fresh air to calm his anger. He was afraid that the pent-up anguish within him might lead him to kill her.
Just as he opened the door of his car he heard a gunshot. He ran back inside the house to see if Avik was all right. He saw Ananki holding his gun. She knew the passcode of his safe. Radha and all the other servants came running to the living-room door but they could not dare to enter inside. Not one of them had the courage to rescue Avik from her wrath.
Avik was trying to calm her down. Mr Rajput knew she wouldn’t listen to Avik, or even to him anymore. He wanted to snatch the gun out of her hand and kill himself. After all that he had seen happening before his eyes, he could only rest in death.
‘Ananki, please stop. Hand the gun over to me right now,’ Mr Rajput said, trying to take the gun from her.
‘Yes, Ananki, listen to him, nothing can come of pointing a gun, I’m sure you know that very well,’ Avik pleaded.
‘Of course it can, Avik. Let me first tackle you so that you shut your mouth. What did you think? That I have feelings for you? Bullshit. All my life I have loved only one man, this one standing right in front of you. And after all these years of veneration, you thought I would fall for you? What in the world made you think that? Being a journalist, did you not study me well? You should have known. Anyway, I don’t care because in your failure I succeeded. I succeeded in coming out of that dungeon and into his home. I will make him love me at any cost. And you, my dear, can leave now. I thank you for your ser
vices,’ Ananki said, pointing the gun at Avik.
Avik was aghast. He felt like she had pillaged him and left him to suffer the aftermath. Never in his life had he felt more abused. Ananki had not only used him but also humiliated him by calling what he had done for her his ‘services’, as if he was nothing more than a harlot.
Although a part of him acknowledged that he had become a whore by letting Ananki use him, in return for which he had expected both position and wealth from Mr Rajput, he was also shaken because his plan had failed miserably.
He realized that all this while, it had been Ananki’s stage and her play and he had become a secondary character, his part of the truth transmuted into a lie. It was time for him to make his exit because Ananki, the playwright, wished it so.
‘Ananki, don’t do this. You will not find another man like him. I like him too. He is the one for you,’ Mr Rajput tried to convince Ananki to accept Avik’s love, but she interrupted him.
‘How can you even think that I would settle with any other man? It is either you or no one. Avik, leave us alone or I will shoot.’
‘Avik, please don’t leave. I cannot handle this alone,’ Mr Rajput said, anxious to have his support in facing the hurricane that Ananki had become.
Ananki was furious to see the men banding together against her. She shot the huge vase placed close to where Avik was standing. Mr Rajput had no choice but to let him go.
‘It’s better that you go, Avik, I cannot withstand another murder in this house,’ he said.
Avik nodded and moved towards the door. As he walked out, he felt something was pulling him back, as if his feet were tied to an anchor. The further he went from her, the greater the emptiness in him grew. He stopped when he could bear the vacuum in his spirit no more.
Why am I feeling this way? It can’t be possible. Please. No. No matter how much he denied it, he suddenly realized that he had fallen in love with this madwoman.
What would I be without her? I don’t think I can imagine a life in which I cannot see her. I have to try one last time, not for my dream but for the sense of completeness that this mad self has brought into my life.