by L. C. Morgan
I nearly gagged when he leaned over and did it.
“Ew, I can’t believe you did that! I’ve been walking around barefoot all afternoon. Even out there on the porch. Yuck.”
Coll shrugged. “I’ve done a lot worse for a lot less,” he said without elaborating. “Now. My cookies, woman.” He tapped the top of my foot with a finger. “Go.”
I quirked my brow, and he smirked. “Please.”
“Fine.”
Rolling off the couch, I headed for the kitchen. Luckily—even though it was stupid of me—I’d left the oven on. All I had to do was fill the pan and slide the cookies inside. Coll had finished his pizza and beer by the time I got back. I handed him another bottle and plopped back down on the opposite end of the couch.
“Cats or dogs?”
“Definitely dogs.”
“Me, too. Chicken or fish?” I asked then added, “Do you even like fish?”
Coll shrugged. “I can eat it.”
“Yeah, me too. But only if it’s fried and smothered in ketchup. Oh, okay. I got one. If you could go back to any decade, which would it be? Me, I’d go back to the seventies. The music was awesome. My mom said it was the best time of her life. And who doesn’t want to run around braless, wear long flowy skirts, and stick flowers in their hair?”
His eyes shot to my chest just as quickly as they lifted, and I suddenly felt self-conscious. It wasn’t like I needed to wear a bra now. They were small but perky. At least I had that going for me.
“So what about you? Where would you go?”
He took another swig of his beer, sans belch this time. “The nineties, I guess.”
“Why the nineties?”
“‘Cause the early years were some of the best of my life, that I can remember anyway. And it’s not so far back I’d have to suffer through the eighties.” I nearly gasped. He didn’t like the eighties? “Plus, you know, the music was awesome. And who doesn’t want to run around shirtless, have long flowy hair, and not wash it?”
Resting my head against the back of the couch, I regarded him. He could be pretty funny sometimes.
“All right, one more.”
“Only one?”
“Mmhm.” I nodded. “I want to finish the movie.”
“I thought you said you’ve seen it a million times.”
“I have. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love it and want to see it again.”
Coll shook his head, muttering a low, “Women.”
“What was that?”
“Nothin’. What’s the question?”
I squinted at him before continuing our little game we had going.
“If you were stuck on a deserted island and you could only have one thing with you, what would it be?”
Coll smiled over at me. “That’s easy. A satellite phone.”
I shook my head. “Huh uh. No satellite phones. Pick something else.”
Letting out a silent laugh through his nose, he looked away, rubbing his chin in thought. “Okay, then. A fishing pole.”
I felt my smile grow. “Good one. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before.”
He shrugged like he knew he was the shit. “How ‘bout you? What would you bring?”
Gumming my lips, I prepared for the fallout. “A satellite phone.”
Coll reached out to grab my ankle, and I yelped when he yanked my leg, sliding my whole body down the couch to hover over me.
“No satellite phones, huh?” he said, and his fingers went for the back of my knee. My most ticklish spot.
“Oh God. No. No. Stop,” I pleaded, but he wouldn’t. “Stop!”
Laughing hysterically, I thrashed below him, which somehow made it worse. He finally stopped when I grabbed his wrist and managed to slide his hand from the back of my knee up to my thigh. My laughter died when he squeezed and all the warmth shot between my legs. Looking up, I found him looking down at me. That was when I freaked.
“What’s your best childhood memory?” I blurted.
“I thought you said only one more,” he said, and I could smell the beer on his breath. I licked my lips.
“I changed my mind.”
Holding my stare a second longer, he looked off to the side and scratched his chin on his shoulder.
“I don’t know. I guess the first time my dad took me fishing. It was just the two if us. No older brothers to fuck it up like they did everything else. It was just us. Eating ham sandwiches and drinking root beer. At least, I did. I’m sure his was real. But I don’t really remember.”
I fought an urge to reach up and stroke his face. Hair was growing back in after only two days of not shaving. I wanted to feel it beneath my fingers as much as I wanted to comfort him.
“And your worst?”
Huffing a laugh, Coll let go of my leg and sat back on the couch. I sat up as if we were connected by a string.
“Sorry. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
Glancing over, he didn’t quite meet my eyes before looking away. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
He shook his head. “Just wasn’t planning on getting into this kind of stuff tonight. Especially …” He nodded to where we were sprawled out on the couch just seconds before.
“Sorry I ruined it.”
“No … well, yeah.” I gave him a look, and he countered. “But it’s good. It’s fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah. I should have expected it. Just not what I’m used to, I guess.”
Silence took over. We sat there beside each other, neither knowing what to say. Or simply not saying what we wanted to. I wasn’t sure how to take his comment. Was I supposed to be flattered he considered me different from the others? Or was I supposed to be offended he thought maybe I wasn’t?
“You know how you asked me about the lightning before? If I knew anyone who ever died?”
“Yeah.” Pushing my fists into the couch cushion, I fought the urge to scoot closer to him.
“Yeah well, it wasn’t just anyone. It was my dad.”
Even though I was expecting it, I still felt the weight of his confession. How it hurt him after all this time just to say it. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to touch him, but it felt like the right thing to do. As soon as I felt his shirt below my palm, the fire alarm went off in the kitchen.
“Shit.” I was torn between getting up and staying put to comfort him. I couldn’t believe this was happening.
“See, there’s a reason you don’t talk about these sorts of things on the first date.”
“Why? ‘Cause you’ll burn the house down?”
He smiled, and I was instantly relieved about joking around at a time like this.
“Just the cookies, if we’re lucky.”
“Shit! The cookies!” Jumping up, I took off for the kitchen to get them out of the oven.
Coll followed close behind, easily reaching the ceiling to mute the alarm until we could get the smoke cleared. Once the situation was under control, I didn’t know whether to start back up where we’d left off or pretend like it never happened. So I let Coll decide.
“Now what? What are you thinking?” I asked, trying to fan the smoke smell away from my face.
“They still look good. Nice and crispy.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“No. Just still hungry.” He rubbed his stomach. “Always fuckin’ hungry.”
“I’ve got turkey in the fridge. I can make you a sandwich if you want. I don’t have any real bread, though. Just pocket thins.”
“What the hell are pocket thins?”
“You know. Thin pockets of bread.” He just looked at me. “It’s like bread but thin. It’s flat bread. Here …” I grabbed a pack out of the cupboard and handed it to him. “It’s multi-grain. Better for you.”
“If you say so.” He handed the package back. “I’ll take one to go.”
“Why to go?” I asked as I grabbed the turkey out of the fridge to fix his sandwich
. “You’ve had enough of me already?”
“Not nearly.”
I looked at him over my shoulder.
“Too corny?” he asked, and a laugh escaped me.
“Uh, yeah. Way too corny. But I liked it anyway.” I turned to finish up his sandwich, and a warmth washed over my back just before he reached around me and nabbed the sandwich out of my hands.
“Hey!” I whirled around to face him.
“You were taking too long.”
I crossed my arms over my chest as he took a bite. “Really. What are you in such a hurry for? You got a hot date or something?” I asked, only somewhat serious.
Taking another bite, he talked out of the side of his mouth. “Already had one. What I need now is some sleep. I’ve got an early day tomorrow, helping clean the boat for our next outing.”
“Right. Your next outing. When’s that again?”
“Two weeks.”
“And you’ll be gone for how long?”
“Another four weeks. Same as last time.”
“Oh … But I thought you only took one long trip a year.”
“Usually do, but I signed on for another. Bills get bigger but the paychecks seem to stay the same.”
“Right.”
Another one of those silences came over us. We shyly took turns looking up at one another, neither one of us knowing what to say, once again. What did you say when you were standing on the cusp of anything that you thought could be something, only to have it taken away? Over and over again.
“But hey. You’ll probably be sick of me by the time I take off anyway.”
I kind of doubted that. And I think the look on my face conveyed it.
“Well, I should probably get going.” He pointed over his shoulder with his sandwich.
I nodded at the floor then pushed off the counter. “Okay. I’ll walk you out.”
Coll followed me to the door, where I hoped he would try to kiss me again about as much as I hoped he wouldn’t. Because what if it was amazing? What if it was life-altering? What if it was so life-altering I ended up asking him to alter his life over it? I was pretty sure I would. I was also pretty sure I would go crazy if I didn’t. I didn’t want to go starting anything serious just to suffer another four weeks without him being around. Because let’s face it, I just couldn’t do casual.
I rested the side of my head against the edge of the door as we said goodnight.
Half-eaten sandwich in hand, Coll gestured to my house. “We should do it again sometime.”
“Yeah, totally,” I said, not expecting much of it until—
“How’s about tomorrow?”
I barely kept from sputtering. “Tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.” I wasn’t expecting to hang out with him again so soon. Probably shouldn’t have answered so fast.
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”
I watched after him as he walked across the lot, closing my door once he disappeared inside. Heading for the kitchen, I put the turkey back in the fridge and the flat bread back in the cupboard before finishing the dishes and heading to bed.
Not two hours later, my eyes snapped open to the sound of a squeaking screen door. His truck started and my legs went numb and all I could do was pull the covers up over my shoulders, reminding myself that no promises were made. No boundaries discussed. All we had was tomorrow.
Chapter Twelve
I woke up early the next day to go for a run.
It was cold and sleeting, but I didn’t really mind. I preferred this kind of numb to the kind that came with the thought of Coll sneaking off to see another woman. Not that he had to sneak or anything. Even if he wasn’t, it was all relative. That was where my mind went. And it would continue to go there until I talked to him about it. But I really didn’t want to talk about it because what if what I thought was happening was really happening?
I wasn’t stupid. Just because we’d gone on a date didn’t mean we were exclusive. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be exclusive. I didn’t know if I was ready to be involved with anybody who was absent so frequently and for such long periods of time.
But I did, though. I really did. Who was I kidding?
My lungs burned and my calves cramped as my feet slapped against the mud, causing it to fly up and all over. A splash hit my eye at the same time as I slipped on a sheet of ice and went flying.
A frustrated scream flew out my mouth as soon as I hit the ground. Rolling over, I sat there for a moment until the cold and wetness seeped through, which didn’t take long. Mud mushed between my fingers as I helped myself off the ground, and I flicked it off with more force than necessary before heading back to the house. So much for trying to get back into shape. It was a good thing I’d bought a family-size bag of Doritos on my most recent trip to the store. I was going to eat each and every last one of them when I got home.
The cold took root in my bones as I limped back to the house. All I could think about was freezing in place and helplessly watching as wolves licked me like a human-centered popsicle. I was going to die out here. I knew it.
I picked up the pace a little when I spotted my roof through the trees.
I was going to take a long, hot shower.
No.
Drink some hot cocoa.
Wait.
No.
I was going to take a long, hot shower then drink all the cocoa.
I had it all worked out. But my plans were deterred when I found Coll sitting on my porch.
“Shit. You okay?” he asked as he shot off the swing.
“Yeah. Fine. Just took a little tumble is all.”
“I can see that.” He did his best to try and not laugh. “Here, let me help.” He reached out, and I waved him off.
“No, I got it.”
Holding his hands up, he watched me limp up to the porch and struggle to lift my leg onto the step. Once I got it, I hissed in pain.
“All right, that’s it. Come on.” Bracing my back, he hooked an arm under my legs.
I yelped in surprise as he hoisted me into his arms and carried me up the steps. I tried not to think about how nice it felt to be this close to him even though he smelled a little bit like fish and sweat.
I flinched when he set me down on the porch swing.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
Looking off to the side, I situated myself on the swing. “Weren’t you supposed to be cleaning a boat or something?”
“Yeah, I was, but Tara called last night.”
Oh God. Were we really going to talk about this right now?
“And I had to go over to the house to help with Dan.”
“Dan?” I asked, confused. Was this a boyfriend? Did he have to defend her honor and keep her safe from this guy?
What the hell?
“Yeah, Dan. Russ’ dad.”
“Oh. Well, is he okay? What happened?”
Smiling at the ground, Coll squinted up at me. “He fell and couldn’t get up.”
“That’s not funny.”
“It’s kinda funny.”
“No, it’s not,” I said through my laugh. “So he’s okay then?”
“Yeah. He’s okay.” Sniffing, he flicked the tip of his nose then put his hands on his hips.
“Well, that’s good.”
“Yeah, I guess. Listen.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I’m gonna go get some shut-eye. If you still want to hang out, I can come back later. It’s up to you.”
“Okay.”
Shoving his hands back in his pockets, he rocked on his feet. “Okay …” he repeated, seeming unsure, so I clarified.
“Okay. So, come back later.”
He gave me a nod and took off for his house. I headed inside to shower then call Amber for our daily update. She answered after the first ring.
“So, it’s official. Trevor’s gay.”
I nearly dropped the phone. “Wait. He told you? He actually came out and said it?”
“Yep. Last night over a nice dinner of franks and beans.” Amber sighed. “I should have seen it coming.”
I gummed my lips to keep from laughing. Amber was my best friend and she was hurting, no matter how ridiculous the situation.
“Well, ya know. You’re better off. I never really liked him anyway,” I told her, which was a big lie. I loved Trevor. He was always such a hoot.
“So, what’s going on with you and that guy next door? Anything? Tell me something good. I need it to take my mind off this,” she begged.
I looked at the spot on the couch where Coll practically had me pinned down the night before. “Yeah, but I ruined it.”
“Ruined it? Ruined it how?”
Now it was my turn to sigh. “I think he was going to kiss me, but I wouldn’t shut up.”
“Oh, Hailey.”
“I know. I panicked! And now he probably thinks I’m some kind of virgin or something.”
“There’s different kinds?” Amber asked, and I glared down at the receiver.
“Shut up and be serious for once. What if I really did ruin it?”
“I don’t see how him thinking you’re a virgin would ruin it. Most guys like that.”
“But Coll’s not most guys.” I realized how naïve I sounded as soon as I said it.
“Right.”
“He’s not.”
“Mmhm. No, yeah. I believe you.”
I glared down at the receiver again. “Whatever.”
I chose to torture Amber with stories of my students before getting to the good stuff like Sonia and Jason’s breakup.
“No …”
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
“Right?”
The rest of our conversation was dedicated to how we couldn’t believe it.
After we hung up, I ate some lunch and worked on lesson plans for the following week.
We were on to word puzzles, odds and evens, and the lesser than and greater than signs. I’d have to practice those a little myself before trying to teach it. I could never remember which was which.
“The alligator’s mouth eats the bigger number.” I motioned with my hands as I read the text aloud.
Yeah, yeah. That was a good way to explain it.
I was putting my papers back in my bag when someone outside yelled my name.
Peeking out the window, I spotted Jason standing between Coll’s and my house, his hands around his mouth like a megaphone at the same time there was a knock on the door. I found Coll standing on the other side.