by Baker, T. N.
I looked in the back of the big screen and discovered the wires weren't hooked up.
Damn look at the time, I'm running late I'm supposed to be at the airport to pick up my sisters at 11a.m. and it's already ten minutes to. I can't fool with this now. I grabbed my sleeping son from the couch and headed out the door and to the airport.
When I arrived to the airport, their flight had already landed by the time I parked the car and finally made it inside. I wasn't sure I would remember what they looked like since they were no longer nine and twelve but 15 and 18; teenagers now. I spotted them at the baggage claim talking to some lady they probably befriended on the plane. They were so pretty and still had those same faces. I decided to slightly roll my son's stroller towards them first, since he was the surprise I had for them. I then walked up right behind him just as they were smiling at him and talking about how cute he was in their southern accent.
"Surprise!" I yelled out and they both jumped on me and formed a group hug. Then Kelly, my youngest sister asked who's lil' boy that is. I laughed of course because I'm not used to the country accent and said, "He belongs to me. This is your nephew lil' T." Not only were they surprised, but I was too when the lady they were talking to turned around.
"That's my grandson?" she asked.
I had to take a deep breath for this one. So many emotions flashed through me the moment she turned around and I realized it was my mother, or should I say the lady that birthed me.
I didn't know if I should hug her or slug her. To be honest I felt like slugging her for being absent from my life for so many years, but at the same time part of me was happy to see her. So, I went with the hug. We all agreed on getting a bite to eat, which was a good idea because it would give us all a chance to catch up on what has been going on in each other's lives. When I pulled up in the parking lot of Red Lobster everyone seemed to be happy with my choice, I haven't been here in years and had a taste for it.
Inside, the restaurant still looked the same, but the service sucked. I remembered when I was a teenager, if a guy took you to Red Lobster he was the shit nowadays it's like going to Micky D's. Besides the bad service we had a good time, I learned that Loretta (my mother) lives in Atlanta now, working as a home health aide and has been sober for 186 days. I watched her as she bonded with my son (just like most men with food, French fries was the way to his heart). My middle sister Kelly attended Clark University on a full scholarship and my younger sister hated school, was hanging out late and just doing all the wrong things.
If you've been listening to me up until now, you should know how good I feel right now because family is so important to me and although I still have issues that need to be worked out between my mom and I, I'm glad she's trying. It's better late then never and no matter what she does, I can never change the fact that I am here because of her and she will always be my mother.
TUCKER
'Yo, Mali take Corn and Peewee to that motel off Rockaway Boulevard, I gotta go take care of some things right quick. Oh and Mali I want you to give Epiphany a call, see how she doing, Keish said she don't fuck with that nigga no more, but get back on her good side, see what she knows, she might be just the person to lead us right to that C-God." Peewee and Corn was from the dirty south the thoroughest niggas you ever want to meet, These niggas would rob, beat or kill you in broad daylight, they ain't never scared; especially when it came to doing dirt for me and Malikai. These lil' fellas believed in loyalty, to the extreme. I met them about three years ago. They live in the first apartment complex I moved to down south when I started slanging dope down there. They use to sweat us because we was from New York and locking shit down.
That shit was funny because those lil' country niggas thought
'cause we was from N.Y. we had to know all the rappers out. I would send them to the store for me and if you know anything about certain parts of the south, where it's mostly roads; the stores were usually far as hell, but they never complained.
Anyway, there was this kid from the other side of town. I think his name might have been Otis or something like that. He was a lil' older and he had my lil' men scared shitless. One day he was fucking with 'em to the point where, I kid you not, those lil' niggas wanted to cry. Me and my man Mali peeped it, let him have his fun and get his lil' laughs off and what not. Then we grabbed him up, made his lil' ass strip butt ass naked and stand still while them lil' niggas, Corn and Pee, beat the shit outta him.
Ever since then, them lil' dudes, been straight gangsta.
That's why I had to drive all the way the fuck to North Carolina to scoop them up. They both on parole and ain't posed to leave town, so I ain't want them trying to catch no planes or shit like that. I don't even think they own ID's anyway, but I do know they'll get shit done. We scouted all over town, from the blocks he be at to the fucking clubs, that nigga C-God and his whole crew was M.I.A. He must of knew we was coming for him.
SHANA
"In regards to Kalub Cright, due to a tremendous amount of foul play in this case the court finds him not guilty of the charges brought against him on January 9th, 2004. However, after completing a total of 14 days for a parole violations he will be released. All drug charges will be dropped. Court is adjourned." ' Now, that's what's up!' I thought as I jumped up and ran over to give him a hug before those rude ass court officers pulled him away. That shit wasn't cool, but it's all good because, "my man is coming home," I sang in a little tune to them as to say, 'in your face.' His visiting hours started at 3:00 today, I had just enough time to get me something to eat and then head over to Riker's Island to congratulate him on his get out of jail free card. I was happy that he was coming home, although deep down inside I was worried about him flipping on me. I ain't stupid, I know a nigga in jail will tell you anything if he thinks it will benefit him in some kind of way. I also know K.C. loves me, but that ain't stop him from kicking my ass and fucking around with other bitches when he was in the streets. I feel fucked up for feeling this way, but I like having control while he's behind bars, there ain't much he can do and I know where he's at.
From the moment he sat down to the moment the visit was over, all we discussed was the plan--his plan to set up C-God.
He had it all mapped out, he even made arrangements for me to meet up with that kid Smitty tomorrow afternoon. I agreed to meet with his homeboy. I told him I'd give up the location of C's hideout spot where he stashes his shit, but I ain't participating in shit and I wasn't feeling his plan. K.C. looked at me like I had better be glad we were where we were or else he would've slapped the shit out of me, but I ain't going for that bullshit no more and I told him that.
Then of course he hit me with some guilt shit. "Why you gotta act like that?" he frowned.
"Like what?"
"Like you ain't happy a nigga coming home or something, what's up you, you don't love me anymore?"
"Yeah I do and I am happy," I said.
"So, knock it off and let's just do the damn thing Sha. I told you I ain't gon' never do nothing to hurt you. You've been holding a nigga down for real and I ain't gon' do you dirty, believe that. Meet with dude tomorrow, handle your business and let's get this nigga's paper a'ight."
"Cright, your times up", yelled the correction officer. Before I could respond, K.C. got up and threw his tongue down my throat then slapped me on my ass.
"Daddy'll be home soon... I love you ma," he said as the C.O. escorted him down the hall and through the steel door.
EPIPHANY
A nauseating feeling, sharp pains in my stomach and vomiting had me up all morning. At first I thought it might have been from that nasty ass Chinese food I had last night, but laying here feeling the way I was feeling made me think back to the last time me and C had sex and lots of it. I knew sooner or later one of his balls was gonna make the basket. On top of that I ain't no stranger to the feeling, I been down this road too many times, but this time seems like the worse. Instead of lying here hoping it ain't so, I decided to get up and go b
uy a pregnancy test; thinking the sooner I confirm it the faster I can get rid of it.
On my way out the door you'll never guess who called me...
Malikai. Ain't that funny? My first question was a dumb one. I asked him how did he get my number, and before he could answer I already knew... Keisha, nobody but her. He started kicking the game about how much he missed me and that he not only wanted me back, but needed me back in his life. His timing couldn't have been worse; I had enough drama in my life right now so I shut him down by telling him I wasn't interested.
Although I did miss him a little bit, I wasn't about to make his come back an easy one. If his ass is serious he'll call again.
Ever since I saw C parked in front of my apartment, I've been parking my car on the next block over. The walking distance was a pain in my ass especially since I picked up this laziness. I was in and out of CVS in about 5 seconds flat. I then stopped at the Bodega on the next corner because I had a taste for a turkey and cheese hero with a lot of mayo. The way I was creeping you would have thought someone had a hit out on my life or something, but I just didn't want C-God rolling up on me. On my way back to the crib it started to drizzle a little bit so I decided to parked in front of my apartment, it was bad enough I didn't feel like walking anyway and I damn sure wasn't about to walk in no rain for nobody. First thing I did when I got inside was lock the door; second, I ran to the bathroom squatted over the toilet and peed in the plastic cup that came with the First Response pregnancy test. In exactly one minute, it was confirmed. I was pregnant and once again smacked in the face with the unexpected.
KEISHA
I was out all afternoon running errands, something I usually don't get to do alone; most of time I'm lugging the baby around with me. My family has been a big help, it felt good to have them around. These past couples of days have been a blessing because it gave me a chance to have a heart to heart with my mom and finally hear and understand her side of the story. She explained to me what her weakness was, which at the time was my father, a man that had full control of her--until he left her.
She told me she felt like giving up and alcohol became her sav-ior.
No other man could walk in the shoes my father walked in; not the fathers of my sisters, no one except a bottle of booze.
She stayed drunk all the time, hanging out 'til the wee hours of the morning and sometimes she ain't even come home. I never knew which one of her two alcoholic boyfriends fathered my sisters and neither did she. They use to all get drunk together and try to figure out who looked like who.
That shit is sad, but I now understand that she has a sickness and all that matters is that she's fighting it. I also feel her pain as far as my father was concerned because I know I would definitely lose myself if Tucker ever left me or something tragic happened. Speaking of Tucker, he's back in town but not staying at the house; he decided it would be best if he stayed away because there was too much heat around. I am not a happy camper right about now, but he feels it's for our safety. So, decided not to argue with that, all I do know is, he's got five days, three hours and twenty-two minutes to turn down the heat before our wedding.
Back at the house I called ahead to have the girls meet me outside to help with the groceries. As much as they liked to get their eat on, I knew it wouldn't be a problem. When I walked in the house and my mother pulled me to the side.
"I think you should take a look at this in private. The girls hooked up the VCR to play a tape for the baby and this came on.
I don't think they saw that much because I was only in the kitchen for a minute, but I made them turn it off and give it to me as soon as I seen it. After you watch it, if you feel you want to talk about it I'm right here. You hear me? If not that's okay, but either way, I suggest you get rid of that tape." I didn't understand the seriousness coming from my mother.
What could be on this tape that was so vital? There was only one way to find out. I unplugged the VCR in the living room and car-ried it up to my bedroom. My heart pounded and my hands shook as I connected the wires to the back of the television. I inserted the tape, pressed play and there I was having the best sex I ever had in my life... with the stripper. I jumped up and stopped the tape in disbelief. What the fuck, this can't be? All kinds of thoughts were going through my head. I ejected the tape and put it in the small lock box I kept in my panties drawer. I started to tremble all over as I paced back and forth, wreck-ing my brain, trying to figure out who could hate me that much to do something like this, and drop it off on my door step in hopes that what... Tucker and I would watch this shit together?
The funny thing is, I can't think of any one of the girls there that night that would want to destroy my happiness. Even though Lea kept on insisting we have some dick in our face for entertainment, what would she have to gain, she only dates Spanish guys and has a man, so I don't think she'd do this. Epiphany and Shana, they wouldn't, so that's not even a question. The stripper guy doesn't even know where I live at. Simone and I are cool and doing something like this ain't even her style. Now Tawanna and Dana, those two are suspect cause I don't know too much about them nor have I known them long.
No matter how many excuses I try to come up with for my so-called friends, what it all boils down to is somebody there in that room, that night wants to break up my happy home and I'm gonna find out who.
"Who is it?" I said, responding to my mothers knock at the door.
"Is everything okay?" she said talking quietly through the door.
"It will be if you can look after the baby for me just a little while longer, because I need to be alone for awhile." She agreed. Out of embarrassment and all the mixed emotions beating me in my head, I stayed locked in my room for the rest of the night.
SHANA
Chasity's been calling me all morning with straight drama. Who knew this chick would have turned out to be a psycho bitch. I don't even have caller ID, so I could screen my calls. I decided not to answer the phone anymore. I just hope K.C. doesn't try to call me 'cause he be tripping. I already spoke to his boy Smitty and confirmed our meeting. We decided to hook up at the food court in Queens Center Mall, somewhere crowded and noisy.
When I got to the mall the nigga wasn't there, he told me that he would be wearing a Philly 76ers Allen Iverson jersey, blue jeans and some all white Air Force Ones. I ordered some KFC and waited. Twenty minutes later, this nigga had the nerve to come strolling in to the food court with bags in his hand. I couldn't believe I was here to do his ass a favor and he had me waiting while he shopped. That's some bullshit, I don't even know his ass and already I ain't feeling him. I raised my hand to catch his attention. He walked over to the table on some real hard shit, like he had just won an award for thug of the year. I wanted to laugh 'cause if it was that serious we wouldn't be here now trying to plot his payback for C-God whipping his ass.
"Yo, what up Ma?" he said, as he sat down.
"What up?" I responded back.
"Yo, ma, you look mad familiar, I seen you before?" he asked staring me in the face.
"Yeah, that's possible; you're from my projects."
"Oh word," he said acting like he didn't know.
"Listen, what's really good?" I said trying to cut all the small talk and get down to the topic at hand.
"Yo, I wanna murder the nigga C-God, him and that pussy ass nigga Mike that roll with him," he said in a hostile tone.
"Well K.C. ain't say all that, he just said ya'll was gonna rob him."
"Come on Ma, you from the hood, so I know you ain't no dummy. How the fuck you gon' rob a nigga like him and not split his wig, unless you ready to die. You feel what I'm saying, ma?"
"Yeah, I feel you but if you don't mind me asking, what is ya'll beef over?"
"Man some bitch I fucked, got that nigga open off her ass or something. So I'm out chilling by myself and shit at this little spot, you know what I'm saying, and I sees the bitch, right, so I said 'hi' to her. Next thing I know, that punk ass nigga and his boy done snuff me o
ut and shit for speaking to the hoe. Yo, all I got to say is them niggas is lucky I wasn't strapped that night and ain't seen them since; 'cause that's my word, nigga's would've been a memory by now, that bitch too. Matter fact, I rolled up on her ass a while back wishing I had the gat." He started to get real hype as he spoke.
"Who's the girl?" I said not really caring just being nosey.
"Some bitch, man I can't even remember the bitches name, she a light-skin chick, she drive a fucking silver 325."
"Epiphany!" I blurted out. Actually, I wasn't surprised at all.
I should've put that shit together a long time ago, when he first said some girl who was out with C, but then again everybody knows, that nigga C-God be running around with different chicks.
"Yeah... how you know her?" Smitty sounded really curious.
"Let's just say she's like my family and if you want me to give you the info you need you gotta leave her out of it."
"Man, fuck that hoe," he said like he had to put some thought into to it. "A'ight, a'ight I ain't gon' fuck with her." I know most of the time E gets on my nerves, but Keish was right when she said Epiphany is the way she is and has been ever since we've known her. I ain't trying to go out like that, letting something happen to her that I could prevent.
To make a long story short I gave up the location to C's Long Island apartment in West Hempstead. The only thing about his spot is you gotta be buzzed in to get inside. To my knowledge, only Mike knew about that spot. Oh and of course me, I also knew where Mike's baby momma lives at in Brooklyn, right off of Atlantic Avenue on, I think, Carlton Place or Fulton... one or the other. I told Smitty, Mike's always resting his head at her house. Just as we were getting ready to go our separate ways, here comes this psycho bitch Chasity from out of nowhere blowing up my spot, with all her yelling and screaming.