“What is this?” I ask as I gaze at them.
“An intervention of sorts,” AJ replies as he gives me a determined look.
My attention shifts to Ace as crosses his arms over his broad chest. He’s staring me down, his gray eyes grim. “Shit happens. You deal, you move on. I don't care how much it fucking hurts. You move on.”
I stiffen up, and Jeremy speaks up quietly from his side of the couch. “We know your brother died in a car accident and you were with him. We figured that out a long time ago. We looked into old newspaper articles recently and found that you were trapped in the car for an hour until someone came upon the accident.”
My breathing increases as I feel panic building. “You had no right!” I jump to my feet, fists clenched.
“You gave us no choice,” Ace retorts. “You lose it on a regular basis nowadays. We are done waiting for you to open up and explain this shit you go through that literally breaks you down every damned time.” He moves and gets in my face, eyes flashing furiously. “Do you know what it's like to see you like that? To see you curled up on the floor, broken and sobbing, while we can't do anything to help you? You think seeing me unconscious was bad? At least I wasn't writhing on the floor with some damn emotional pain tearing me apart while you stand there helplessly,” he snarls.
I flinch before drawing myself up to my full height and standing toe-to-toe with him. “You think you can come in here and start forcing this bullshit on me? Get out, asshole!” I try to move around him, but he grabs me by the shoulders and I find myself on my ass on the couch.
He towers over me, hands gripping my shoulders firmly so I can't go anywhere. “Wake the fuck up!” he roars. “We are trying to help you. We're done watching you destroy yourself. If you think for one minute we're giving up on you like you've done with us, you're in for a world of fucking enlightenment,” he says tightly. “Friends don't turn their backs on each other. The fact that you tried to do that to us pisses us off. We know damn well we're more than just a good time. Sometimes you treat us like shit, but we take it, because we care.” His eyes suddenly search mine. “Be honest for once, Zoey, admit it. Admit you care.”
All the fight leaves me, and I sag back against the couch. Ace's hands leave my shoulders, and he frowns down at me, trying to decipher my reaction. My mind scrambles. What am I doing? Why am I even fighting with them? Hadn't I just admitted this all to myself earlier today? I need them. So why fight?
Jeremy cautiously moves closer to me, he touches my arm. “Zoey. We just need you to talk to us. If you can't talk about the accident, that's okay. But let us in. Help us understand you.”
I swallow hard, and my eyes shift to him. As he looks back at me, his brown eyes cautious, I do the only thing I can think of. I crawl into his lap and burrow into him as his arms wrap around me tightly. I bury my head in his neck and fight the tears.
I don't understand why I have to make everything so hard on myself.
The cushion dips behind me, and someone gently begins to rub my back. I sniffle and say, “I'm sorry.” It comes out muffled, but they can hear it.
“Don't be sorry. Nothing to be sorry for, Zoey,” Ace says from behind me.
I can't look at them as I make my confession. “I care. A lot. I...I'm scared.”
“Scared we'll leave you like your brother did?” AJ asks from where he stands above us. Words fail me and I nod, still hiding. “Honey, people aren't going to drop dead around you. What happened to your brother sucks, but not everyone is going to die on you. The odds of one of us dying is so small. You're worrying needlessly over something that likely won't happen.”
“It's not just that...” My voice trails off. They don't know about my parents’ abandonment, but I don't think I'm ready to share it with them.
“What else is there?” Jeremy presses as he squeezes my leg.
“I don't want to talk about it.”
They are silent around me.
After a long second, Ace speaks up. “Quit hiding. Turn around and look at me. I like the Zoey that meets everything head on, not the one that hides behind someone else.” This has me grimacing. I reluctantly pull back from Jeremy and turn around to face him. He smiles with satisfaction. “Much better.” The smile fades as he gives me a stern look. “New rules, Z.”
I look at him questioningly.
“We've lived by your rules for a year now. Now you deal with ours. Take it or leave it.”
“Christ, don't give her a choice, dumbass. We just made it clear she doesn't have one. It's a done deal,” Jeremy interrupts.
Ace gives him a frosty look before turning back to me. “You have to take it as Jeremy just pointed out,” he says dryly.
My lips twitch. They're keeping me. It feels right and scary at the same time. “What are these rules?” I ask tentatively.
“No more running. If you're upset, you tell us. We don't need details, but we want to know where your mind is at, okay?”
I nod. That doesn't sound so bad. “I'm not good at talking about my feelings, but I'll try,” I offer quietly.
“We know,” Jeremy says. “You can't change overnight, and we accept that.”
The fact that they know I'm not good at this stuff, makes me feel better.
“We're going to start showing you how much we care. We won't hide it from you anymore. You're going to take it like a good girl and deal with it,” Ace tells me.
A warm feeling begins to build in my belly. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss having a close friendship with someone. Now I've got three friends, and things are going to start changing. I'm accepting that. It won't fix me, but maybe...maybe it'll help. I nod.
“When you have your episodes, you come to us. We'll get you through it. But you have to let us in when you get to that point,” Ace says softly.
I look away, but once again nod.
“Would you consider looking into getting help with whatever is going on with you?” AJ asks cautiously.
My head jerks up, and now anger begins to simmer within my veins. “You all come in here unannounced, telling me how things are going to have to change, and now you want this of me? What do you want, my body and soul while you're at it?”
AJ holds up his hands in surrender. “Alright. Too soon. Got it,” he murmurs.
“Are we done yet? I know you're trying here, but I can only handle so much, and I can't continue with this conversation. I'll try with what you've requested of me. I really will. But I'm starting to feel suffocated here.”
“We'll sit through The Notebook tonight if you're game,” Ace grits out. I'm not expecting it, and I stare at him. “Peace offering,” he says dryly. “That, you can take or leave. I'm okay with, either.”
Chapter Fourteen
The weekend passed by in a blur. It helped that I spent most of Saturday and Sunday at Grendel's. Then, surprisingly enough, the beginning of the week starts off normal. It was as if my issues from last week had never happened. The guys are back to teasing me or pissing me off. The only shift I notice in our relationship is before they'd been affectionate during teasing. Now they're affectionate all the time. Guys aren't supposed to be hugger's and shit, but they find ways to show me they care. They pull me on their lap, playfully manhandle me when the mood hits, and AJ dropped over on Monday with a late lunch, because he simply wanted to spend time with me. They are no longer waiting for me to come to them. They come to me now whenever they want. It's going to take a lot of getting used to. It also hasn't escaped my notice that I've completely lost the upper hand with them. I'm not the one in control anymore and it's unsettling.
On Wednesday, I take an early evening run, losing myself to the music playing from my iPod as I run down the beach. The sand makes it harder to run and it makes my legs burn. I welcome the distraction and pain, pushing myself even more. Sweat is trickling down my temple, and I can feel it settling between my breasts as well. I'm a sweaty mess, but it feels good. I need this. The exhaustion from running will help me sleep tonight.
As I run past a bunch of guys playing volleyball, I catch one of them do a double take as they spy me, and I ignore them as I run past. I'm sure they're checking out my ass. It's hot—as usual, so I'm wearing tight little black shorts and a matching sports bra. My ponytail swings behind me as I begin to pick up the pace.
Someone's jogging beside me.
I look up to see Caleb, and he motions for me to stop running. I'm so surprised to see him that I come to an abrupt halt, chest heaving as I take a second to lean over, hands resting on my knees as I draw air into my lungs. Of course, this puts me eye level with his crotch. He's wearing black swimming trunks and nothing else. As I try to calm my racing heart, my eyes helplessly run over him. He's got great legs for a guy. Nice and tanned with great calves. Not skinny, little twiggy legs like some guys have. My eyes trek up and pause on the hint of dark hair peeking out just above his low riding trunks. I know exactly what's hiding beneath that fabric. Have I also mentioned how sexy the V of his hips are? As my eyes move further up, they don't miss the rigid muscles, and as sweat trickles down his stomach, I have the sudden urge to lick it.
Suddenly, my earbud is yanked out of my ear, and my eyes jerk up to Caleb's. His eyes are dark as they meet mine, telling me that he hadn't missed one second of my slow perusal. “You look at me like that but still insist on platonic,” he says dryly.
I clear my throat and straighten up, pulling myself together. I'm too tired to try to be witty so I shrug. “I find a lot of guys sexy. Doesn't mean I need to sleep with them.”
“We both know you wouldn't be sleeping in my bed. We'd be doing pleasurable things to each other the entire night,” he says wickedly.
My eyes narrow. What is he doing?
He smirks. “Payback for the other day.”
Ah. Yeah, I'd kind of yanked his chain, hadn't I? It'd been worth it though, because I can tell he hasn't forgotten our one-night stand. Then I remind myself that it doesn't matter in the end anyway. He's got a girlfriend.
I wipe my sweaty brow. “So, did you stop me just to tease me?”
“No.” His expression turns serious. “I have plans with Micaela tomorrow. Told her I'd take her to the beach. She mentioned you, and I thought I'd see if you want to hang with us.”
Something within me perks up at the mention of the younger girl. Spending more time with Caleb probably isn't wise, but it would be worth it to see Micaela. I nod. “Okay, what time?”
“I'll pick you up around four.”
I shake my head. The last thing I need is alone time with Caleb in his car. “No, I'll meet you. Here or one of the other beaches?”
“This one.”
“I'll find you.” I slip my earbuds back in my ears. “Enjoy you're game,” I say lightly before I turn my back on him and jog away.
~*~
Knowing I get to see Micaela today has my mood upbeat. I take special care picking out a bikini as I get ready. A lot of my bikinis are a bit revealing, and since I am going to be around a kid, I take longer than usual looking over my swimsuits. I mull over my options and decide on a white bikini that is respectable. Sort of. It still shows a lot of skin, but it covers more than the others. After I slip it on, I find my white sun dress that I like to use as a cover up. Brown flip-flops finish off my outfit, and then I walk to the bathroom and pull my hair up into a messy knot.
After tossing three bottles of water, a bottle of sunscreen, a large beach towel, and a box of Milk Duds into a beach bag, I am good to go. When I open the apartment door to leave, I come to an abrupt halt and stare down at the plain white box before my door in the hall.
I peek out into the hall, looking around with puzzlement, but it's empty. Okaaay. I bend down to pick the box up and turn to go back into my apartment. I set it on the counter and carefully lift the lid. After easing the tissue aside, my eyebrows shoot up as I pull out a red lacy see-through bra. What in the world? I glance at the tag and see it's my size. I dig around some more and pull out a pair of panties. They match the bra and are sexy and crotchless. My lips part as I hold them up, tilting my head to stare at the crotchless center. I might be into lingerie, but I have never, ever considered crotchless panties. Had someone dropped the gift off at the wrong apartment?
After setting aside the panties, I pull out the tissue and find a note in the bottom of the box. I pick it up and read it. Sparky, you told me I had to replace the one's I ripped. Came across this matching set and thought of you. Seeing as we're platonic and all, I know I'll never see you in them. That's okay, though. I have a very dirty imagination. Cowboy.
Heat floods between my legs, and I bite my lip hard as desire slams into my gut. I could see him teasing me after I’d teased him on Thursday, but this is more than teasing. This is like he's daring me to make a move on him. What scares me the most is that I want to. Badly. I'm ready to throw caution to the wind and jump him, because I know it'll be even better the second time around. I hadn't had my fill of him, and I know he hasn't had his with me. The things I'd like to do to that sexy body...
An image of him grinding with the blonde enters my mind. I'm pleased to know it can't be that serious if he's taunting me like he is.
“You're asking for trouble,” I mutter out loud to myself as I turn my back on the box and leave the apartment. I like him way too much as it is. I've made it clear to him that I have no intention of having sex with him again, and I need to stick to my decision. No more teasing him even if it is fun. Besides, I have enough to handle right now with Ace, AJ, and Jeremy. The absolute last thing I need is to toss in a complicating relationship with Caleb into the mix.
The drive to the beach is short, but it takes five minutes to find a place to park my car, since the beach parking lot is filled to capacity. I end up walking two blocks to the beach. When I get there, I kick off my flip-flops and shove them in my bag before I walk across the sand and begin watching for Caleb and Micaela. The sand feels heavenly on my bare feet, and there's a slight breeze today, bringing a bit of relief from the heat. It's a gorgeous day, and the sun glitters on the water, making the beach the 'it' place to be for people looking to cool down or travelers vacationing.
I smile a few times as I pass by people, and I note there's a game of volleyball going, there's also more than one group of guys tossing footballs back and forth. It takes about ten minutes before I come across Caleb and Micaela. They're sitting on towels about twenty feet away from the gentle waves pushing up onto the sand. They haven't seen me yet, and I let my eyes roam over Caleb first. He's wearing red swimming trunks today and he’s shirtless. All that tanned skin is on display for my eyes. I'm glad I'm wearing sunglasses as I admire his sexy chest. We're platonic, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the sight.
He's leaning close to Micaela, and going by the big grin on his face as he talks to her, I can tell they are having a good conversation. Micaela's own expression is full of animation, and she grins up at him admirably as they talk. She's wearing a simple yellow one-piece swimsuit, and her hair is pulled back in a high ponytail.
Caleb spies me first, and I didn't know it was possible for that grin to get any wider. Micaela follows his gaze and when she sees me, she launches herself to her feet and runs at me. Her long arms wrap around me in a hug, and I hug her back. “Hey, sweetie. I'm happy to see you, too.”
She pulls back and looks up at me, her brown eyes sparkling with excitement. “Caleb brought a Frisbee. You'll play, right?”
“Of course. I never pass up a mean game of Frisbee,” I assure as I set my bag down near their blanket.
“Great! Let's play!” she says enthusiastically.
Caleb chuckles as his eyes roam over a bouncing Micaela. “Guess that's my cue.” He grabs a bright green Frisbee out of the black bag he'd brought.
“Hey, you brought your swimsuit, right?” Micaela asks me.
I'm amazed by the girl standing before me. She's nothing like the one I'd first been introduced to. I guess singing karaoke with me has brought her out of her sh
ell. “I sure did,” I say as I pull off my sunglasses and carefully ease out of the dress. I can feel Caleb's eyes on me as my tanned and toned body is revealed.
Micaela is completely oblivious to the sexual tension.
We make our way further up the beach and away from the sunbathers. We situate ourselves in a large triangle, and Caleb tosses the Frisbee to Micaela, who in turn tosses it to me. She's got terrible aim, and it veers off constantly, causing me to do a lot of running and diving. Every time I have to lunge for it, I swear I feel Caleb's eyes on my skimpy bikini top.
Typical guy.
If he's going to enjoy the show that I'm not even deliberately giving him, I'm going to make him work for it. I toss the Frisbee deliberately over his head, or too far to the left or right—making him run and dive just as much as I have to while I yell, “My bad! Sorry!”
We toss the Frisbee for a while until Micaela grows bored and wants to go in the water. I try to wave them off, telling them I'm going to tan while they play in the ocean. Micaela's having none of it.
“You have to come with. It'll be fun,” she argues.
“I'm not a good swimmer,” I explain.
“Caleb can hold on to you when it gets deep,” she says, her eyes brightening.
“I'm a good swimmer. I won't let anything happen to you,” Caleb says, his blue eyes meeting mine.
The dream I'd had of me and Micah at the lake comes back, and I have no urge to go in the water.
Micaela grabs my hand. “C'mon. I'll hold your hand, too,” she says sincerely.
Good Lord. How can I say no to that? I give her a big smile. “I think that would help me be brave. But I'm only going as far as my knees, okay? I'm not good in water,” I warn gently.
“Okay,” she says easily.
We walk hand in hand towards the water, and I'm conscious of Caleb following us—no doubt checking out my ass. The water is a bit chilly as a wave comes up and sweeps over our feet. I have to admit, the coolness of it feels good on my heated skin.
Poison Me Sweetly (Long Beach Series Book 1) Page 18