“Do you feel safe with me? Do you trust me?” His expression softened and his eyes held concern and maybe a hint of something more, or was that her imagination?
She didn’t look away from him. “Yes. I always trust you.”
He pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her brow, his lips lingering for a long moment. “Good. Tonight I’m going to sleep down here.” He held up a finger to stop her when she opened her mouth to argue. “You’re still shaken up from the accident. Tonight you sleep in your own bed, knowing I’m down here where I can protect all of you, okay? Tomorrow we’ll discuss other options.”
It took her a moment to think it through. It wasn’t perfect, but it would work for the short term. “Okay, I can do that.”
“Okay.” He touched her face, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone, making her skin break out in goose bumps. “I’m going to take care of you. Trust me.”
Her hands lifted to grip his arms, tightening as she tipped her face up for better access. “I trust you.”
“Good.” His voice had dropped to little more than a whisper, gone husky but finally, after months of pulling back, he didn’t. He leaned in and kissed her.
Sage sighed as his lips brushed across hers—a barely there touch that made her push closer, seeking more. His mouth was warm and firm, his touch gentle, a tender caress. She soaked in the feel, the taste of him, allowing her mind and heart to open as his arms closed around her, pulling her closer to his hard chest.
She melted against him and tipped her head to the side, and he molded his mouth over hers, showing complete control, his kiss warm and comforting, not seeking anything more. She reveled in it, loving the scent of his cologne as it swirled into her brain, and the feel of the light hair on his arms soft under her hands. She could keep this up forever.
She lifted her arms up around his shoulders, and felt the pull of muscles that were sore from the day’s accident, but ignored them. Reluctance in every muscle shift, Joel pulled away, making her sigh with regret. He stood, helping her to rise as well. “I’ll get my overnight bag.”
She nodded, feeling like she would burst with happiness. Finally! “I’ll find you some blankets.”
He cocked a grin at her and headed for the front door.
A kiss was such a small step, but right now it felt like she’d reached a mountain peak.
Sage rose early and went through her morning routine before heading down the stairs to see if her conversation with Joel had been real, or a figment of her imagination. She touched her fingertips to her lips in the memory of their gentle kiss. That had been real, hadn’t it? Sometimes he seemed hard, more like a weapon or machine than a man, but then he showed this soft edge. Was it only with her? He’d called her baby over the phone; had he realized what he was saying? Could he really feel the same way about her that she felt for him? The thought made her feel like she was flying.
She found him in the kitchen, standing over a pan of eggs loaded with finely chopped vegetables.
“Good morning, bright eyes. Sleep well?” he asked.
“Yes. Good morning.” She shifted her gaze to include Rosemary and Jonquil in the greeting. “Are you cooking for everyone?”
“Eggs? Me? Not a chance. Strictly tasteless bran muffins,” Rosemary grumbled and took another mouthful.
“You’re an amazing chef. Surely you can find a way to make those tastier without making them unhealthy,” Jonquil said.
“Of course, but that would imply I have time to cook for myself.” Rosemary ate the last bite of her muffin, swallowed the end of her black coffee and hopped up from the stool. “I’m off. We have a wedding banquet and reception to prepare for, not to mention the usual guests.” She waved over her shoulder as she headed through the door to the garage.
“Well, I’m not opposed to eggs,” Jonquil told Sage. “You do eat eggs, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.” Sage grabbed the bag of cat food she kept in one cupboard and stepped onto the porch to feed Mr. Sunshine. He rubbed against her, purring loudly as she ran a hand down his back. “There you are, sweetheart. Plenty of food to keep you warm and happy today.”
There was a thin layer of snow from the previous night and she shivered in the cold mountain air. She smiled when the cat meowed to her. It had been years since she had a pet, and she missed the cats they’d kept on her mom’s property—they had been there as mousers, but were always good sounding boards when she needed to talk things out. Mr. Sunshine wandered a lot, but he made her feel good when he bumped his head against her hand, begging to be pet.
She obliged for a moment before returning the food to the cupboard. She washed her hands and took Rosemary’s abandoned stool. “How is your leg feeling?”
“It hurts,” Jonquil said. “But not as bad as yesterday. Of course, everything else is sore now.”
“Tell me about it,” Sage felt every muscle in her back and neck protest as she shifted in her seat. “A hot shower and three ibuprofen seem to be helping, but I may need a massage later.” She couldn’t think of anything else that would help her stiff neck besides acupuncture, and she had to wait until Monday to get an appointment with the practitioner a friend had recommended in Denver.
“Would a massage help?” Jonquil asked.
“Oh, yeah. When you get those flowers all placed, come to the spa and we’ll squeeze you in to work all that lactic acid out of your muscles. It won’t solve everything, but it’ll make a difference.”
Jonquil smiled. “Sounds like heaven. Do you have a big muscle-y guy named Sven working for you?”
“No, but Damon is tall with blond hair and blue eyes—and he’s got some serious arm muscles.” Sage took a sip of the juice Joel set in front of her. “Is that close enough?”
“It’ll have to do.”
“What are you doing studying Damon’s muscles?” Joel asked, glaring at Sage.
“I’m not studying them, but it’s hard to miss sometimes. Besides, you beat him hands down when it comes to muscles.” Amusement trickled through Sage at the thought of Joel being jealous of Damon. Like she’d looked twice at another guy since she’d tricked Joel into eating at a vegetarian deli the day they met.
“I’m going to study them and enjoy every minute of it.” Jonquil accepted the plate of eggs and wheat toast Joel set in front of her. “This looks awesome.”
“It should, since he used half the block of cheese,” Sage teased as she accepted her plate.
“I never noticed you had a prejudice against cheese.” Joel took the stool on the other side of her and rotated his plate so the eggs were closest to him.
“I don’t. I think it’s a lovely food, but it’s hardly good for you in large quantities.”
“I’m sure your arteries are in fine shape.” His eyes raked over her quickly with a look that said the rest of her was fine as well.
Sage didn’t respond except with a blush. She couldn’t figure him out and didn’t have the energy to start trying today. A bite of her breakfast proved Joel was proficient with eggs, however, and she eagerly cleaned her plate.
“Were you hungry?” Joel teased as he cleared their dishes a while later.
“I guess so.” Sage stood and stretched, feeling every sore muscle again. “Let me grab my things and we can head into the office.”
“We need to swing by my place first so I can grab a quick shower and change of clothes,” he reminded her.
“Right.” She would have to think about that if he spent another night on the couch.
It made her feel bad, knowing he’d crammed his long frame on the sofa. Surely there was a better solution.
“Could you give me a ride to the resort when you finish up next door? I can’t drive with this cast,” Jonquil said.
“Of course.” Sage felt guilty, she would have offered to chauffeur Jonquil to the moon if she wanted—not that Jonquil would want to get back into a car with her behind the wheel anytime soon.
“It’s no prob
lem, and my Range Rover is a lot roomier than most cars.” Joel wiped off the counter and Sage ran upstairs to grab her bag.
“So,” Joel asked once he’d studied the yard and determined it was safe for her to join him outside. “Are you going to get one of those massages from your muscle-man Damon, too?”
Sage smiled to herself, reveling in the touch of jealousy in his voice. “I thought about it, but I’ve got a lot going on. Maybe tonight we could soak in your hot tub instead.”
He studied her for a moment. “You want to be tied up in knots today.” It was more observation than question. The light dusting of snow that had fallen overnight squeaked under their feet as they headed toward his door.
Sage tried to decide what to admit to, then went for straight-up honesty. “I don’t like pain, but a little soreness reminds me of what happened.” She allowed an ironic chuckle. “Call it a form of self-flagellation if you like. I’m responsible for Jonquil’s injury. I thought we were being careful, but I didn’t think it through. I know I can’t live like I used to, but I can’t stay cooped up all the time.” She hunched further into her jacket. “It was a bad judgment call.”
He waited until he’d opened the door and ushered her inside, locking up behind him, then pulled her close. “You said yourself that I couldn’t have done anything if I’d been there—and I wouldn’t have thought twice about letting you go out for lunch—with me for protection. Your car still would have slid. None of this is your fault; don’t blame yourself. It’s all him.”
“Sometimes I feel like my whole life is about him.” And that’s exactly the way he wants it.
“We won’t let it be.” Joel pressed a kiss to her forehead and released her.
The apartment was awfully quiet, and as always, immaculate. Sage needed to distance herself from her worries, so she changed the subject. “I thought guys were supposed to be slobs. What happened with you?” she called to him from the kitchen as he entered his bedroom upstairs.
“Some guys are slobs, like some women are slobs,” he shot back.
Sage started peeking through the cupboards—she had nothing better to do. She looked up when Joel exited his room with a uniform in his hand. “You stock my favorite tea. I’ve never seen you drink tea,” she pointed out.
“Yeah.” He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I thought you might want a cup sometime. Winter is here already.”
His thoughtfulness always tugged at her heart, and this was no exception. “You’re always trying to make me comfortable around you,” she said, realizing how many little things he’d done, minor changes he made in his life to accommodate her. How had she never noticed before? “But you’ve never acted like you’re interested in me, as a woman. Why would you bother?”
“A guy can’t be thoughtful?” he asked as he ducked into the bathroom.
She considered following him to push her point, but decided that would only make things worse. Instead she folded her arms over her chest and watched the door shut her out. She decided to poke into his cupboards a little more.
When he emerged again less than ten minutes later, Sage was leaning against the door jam, a package of Godiva chocolates in her hand. “I thought you were allergic to chocolate.”
“I am.” He avoided looking at her and made a beeline for the kitchen.
“You know this happens to be my favorite flavor, in my favorite brand. I haven’t found any local stores who carry this flavor.”
“Hmmm, is that so?” He shrugged into his jacket and checked his gun to make sure it was loaded but didn’t have a bullet in the chamber.
“Yes, and I know you’re aware of it, because it came up in conversation with Rosemary a few weeks ago. You were standing right next to me when we talked about it.” She remembered thinking that roses were too sweet of a gesture for him, but now she realized he was naturally thoughtful, but had been holding himself back. This man was the man inside, fighting to get out.
Joel straightened his lapels, not looking at her. “Okay, so I find myself compelled to buy things that you like when I’m at the store. You spend time here training. We’re together a lot. I want you to feel comfortable in my place, okay? And if picking up a box of tea or a bag of chocolate will make you feel more comfortable—oh screw it.” He took one long step, grabbed her by the shoulders and laid his mouth on hers.
This was nothing like the light, innocent kiss from the previous night. This was firm and hot and intense. His mouth claimed hers, slid to cover more and had her tipping her head back to give him better access. Joel’s hands on her shoulders loosened, then crossed behind her, skimming over her back and pulling her closer. Sage dropped the chocolate and her hands delved beneath his blazer to grab at his polo shirt, and yank him closer. She had dreamed of this for months, but her expectations never came close to the deliciousness of reality. The kiss lightened—but not to end it, rather to intensify the experience.
Going up on her toes, she pressed against him, changing the angle of the kiss again, reveling in the heat radiating through their clothes and the smell of the cologne he’d just applied.
The kiss went on as they both lingered over it, tasting and testing and unwilling to let go. Eventually he pulled back, ending it. His dark eyes bore into hers as they both breathed heavily, staring.
“Is that what you wanted?” he asked about the time her brain slipped back into place.
“Yeah, actually.” She felt a trifle lightheaded and licked her lips, tasting him on them.
“Lucky for both of us that I couldn’t take the bullying anymore.” He slid his fingers across her bottom lip, along her jaw and down the length of her neck, making her shiver.
Sage slowly released him, though she didn’t want to. “Bullying? I’ve never bullied anyone.”
“Right. I’ll remember that next time I see you nag one of your sisters to come into the spa for a treatment.”
“That’s nagging—it’s entirely different from bullying. Besides, it’s in their best interest. While we’re on the subject—I’ve never seen you come in for a massage.” The banter was making it easier to center herself after the kiss, to refocus on something—anything but the desire for him to kiss her again.
His expression turned grim. “So, we talked last night about what you wanted to do. Are you feeling better about your living situation?” He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, his biceps bulging nicely.
Because the kiss had allowed Sage to cross a line she hadn’t dared cross before, she reached out and ran a hand long the tempting bicep, enjoying the warm smoothness of his muscle. “Way to avoid the subject.” She pursed her lips, decide to accept his change of topic, though she’d rather not. “But yes, I’ve thought about it. I still don’t think it’s fair for me to stay there, putting them in danger. We really can’t move you in, even when Cami moves out and we have a spare bedroom. I don’t think the others would be comfortable with it. It’s way too much to ask.”
He grinned. “But I cook breakfast.”
“I noticed, and again, thank you, but it’s one thing when we have a crisis, it’s another thing when the crisis lasts for weeks or months—and don’t say it won’t take months, because you’ve already been all but living in my pocket since April.” Not that she was complaining.
“True enough. What alternatives did you have in mind?”
“I could run away—which won’t solve anything and might end very badly when the guy catches up to me eventually. Or I could move in here.” She really hoped he went for the second choice—there was no way he’d go for the first one, and running away was too chicken-hearted anyway.
Joel leaned over and rubbed his lips over hers. “No.”
Sage blinked. She hadn’t expected him to refuse both options. “No?”
“We don’t even know what this is between us yet. I don’t want to screw it up by moving too fast.” He stroked one of his hands down her arm and picked up her fingers.
“Right, because we’re p
ractically moving at the speed of light right now.” She tipped her head at him. “It only took you six months to kiss me.”
“Look, I’ve had casual girlfriends, but I haven’t been in a serious relationship.... ever. And things are a little crazy and emotional for you now. Okay, for both of us,” he allowed when she opened her mouth to protest. “But there’s a whole lot about my past that you don’t know.”
She snorted at the understatement. “The things I know about your past could fit in a thimble, Joel. You never talk about it. But I know a lot about who you are now.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She gave his fingers a squeeze. “You’re thoughtful and sweet. You protect yourself, worried you’re going to get hurt, or maybe you’re worried you’re going to hurt others. Or maybe some of both.” She considered for a moment and decided that was probably right. “You have few close relationships, but those you call friends can count on you through anything. That’s what SEALs do, and it’s bred into your bones. No matter what happens, you come through.”
“You make me sound like a saint,” he protested.
“Oh, no, you’re no saint.” She reached out and touched his goatee, feeling the silky hair under her fingertips, as she had longed to do for months. “You’re far too interesting for that.”
He slid away, out of her reach, then snatched up his coat. “And with that, we need to head to work. Don’t leave the spa. I’ll come for you at lunch, and after work to pick you up.”
She sighed at the change of subject—he was always doing that—but decided to go along with it for now. If she gave him time to think about letting her move in here, she might convince him later. “Wendy’s still gone, so I’m working the full day.”
“Then I’ll have time to catch up on the paperwork that piled up while I was in California,” he said.
Sage slid her hand back into his and thought she could live with that. Maybe she could nag him into joining her for dinner.
The next few days were strangely uneventful, though Joel tracked Sage even closer than before. He constantly monitored her in the spa, checked her email and tried not to obsess. That was difficult, though, now that he’d actually kissed her—now he knew how soft her lips were, how she melted against him and gave freely before he even had to ask.
SEALed With Love (DiCarlo Brides book 2) (The DiCarlo Brides) Page 13