by Malone, M.
Just then Kay’s voice blared through the speaker on his desk. “Mr. Alexander. Mr. Simmons is here to see you.”
Nick cursed under his breath. “I forgot that Matt was coming by to show me some of the listings he found for condos. He’s finally narrowed down the area he wants to live in. I can cancel, though. He’ll understand.”
He offered her his arm but she waved him away as she stood. “No, don’t do that. He’s come all the way up here to see you. We can talk more at home. I should really go home and rest.”
“Okay, I’ll see you tonight.”
He walked over to his desk and hit the intercom. “Kay, you can send Matt to the conference room. I’ll be there in a minute.”
* * * * *
MATT CURSED HIS forgetfulness as he skipped down the stairs of Nick’s building. He was supposed to be bringing Nick the new listings he’d found and he’d conveniently left them on the front seat of his truck.
He figured Nick had to be as tired of his house-hunting search as he was. They’d been looking for condos since summertime and he still hadn’t found one he liked. They were all either too expensive or didn’t have the features he wanted.
I think you have commitment issues, buddy.
It was something his sister would say. Not that he disagreed. He was used to going where Uncle Sam told him to go. It was hard to get used to the idea that his life was his own again.
He pulled open the heavy metal door leading to the parking garage. A young woman sat on the edge of the curb, her head in her hands.
“Miss? Are you all right?”
When she raised her head, Matt rushed forward. “Raina, what’s wrong?”
She blinked at him a few times, then said, “I don’t feel so good. I think I’m going to be sick.”
Matt instantly sprang into battle awareness. He looked at her eyes to see if her pupils were dilated. Her skin was flushed, but that was to be expected if she was about to throw up.
“Okay, let’s get you to the hospital. My truck is right here.”
Raina shook her head. “No, I can’t move yet. It’s worse when I move. That’s why I sat down.” She closed her eyes suddenly and started breathing through her mouth. “It smells like burnt rubber down here.”
Matt didn’t smell anything but he kept that thought to himself. “Okay. Let’s just take it easy. Can you move yet? Are you still dizzy?”
After what seemed like a million years, Raina nodded. “A little. My head hurts.”
Matt looked at his truck just a few feet away. “Raina, how about you let me carry you? We really need to get you to the hospital.”
Finally she nodded. She stood slowly and he picked her up. She was light, too light for her height. He carried her swiftly to the truck and hit the automatic opener on his keychain. He shoved the papers on the seat in the back and helped her climb in. As he rounded the car to the driver’s side, he pulled out his cell phone and called Nick. It went to voicemail so he left a quick message.
“Hey, man, I found Raina down here. She looks pretty bad so I’m taking her to the hospital. Meet us there.”
He fired up his truck. Raina jumped at the loud roar of the engine. “Sorry. I’m sure that’s not helping your headache any.”
“No, it just startled me. I’m sure I’m fine. I just got dizzy. I probably just need to lie down.”
He pulled out of the parking garage and raced through the streets until they reached New Haven General. “Either way, we’re going to get you checked out just in case.”
He left his car parked at the curb of the emergency entrance and then jumped out. Raina already had the door open by the time he got around to her side.
“Here, take my arm.” He led her through the automatic doors and up to the nurse sitting at the reception desk. He leaned over and said, “She’s pregnant and she’s having dizzy spells. I found her collapsed on the ground.”
The nurse pushed a form across the desk along with a pen. “Fill this out and we’ll see what’s going on.” Raina picked up the pen, then before she could write anything, she slumped against the counter.
“Whoa!” Matt looped a hand around her waist and held her upright so she wouldn’t fall over.
“She’s going down!” The nurse jumped up and ran around to the desk. Before he knew what was happening they were surrounded by nurses and Raina was being helped into a wheelchair.
“Are you her husband?” the nurse on his left asked.
He shook his head. “He’s on his way.”
“We’re going to take her back now.”
Matt watched helplessly as Raina was wheeled away. He pulled out his cell phone and called Nick again. When it went to voicemail, he hung up. Then he called the main office line and left a message with Kaylee, who promised to look for him.
“Where are you, Nick?”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“WE JUST KEEP ending up here, don’t we? What is it about us and hospitals? It’s like we have bad karma.”
Ridley sat gingerly on the edge of Raina’s hospital bed. After her embarrassing fainting incident, she’d been examined by one of the emergency doctors on call. They’d drawn blood and were running tests. But they’d already determined that she was severely dehydrated. They’d hooked her up to an IV bag of fluids to try to get her electrolytes back in the normal range.
Apparently all the throwing up she’d been doing wasn’t normal. But at least it didn’t seem to have hurt the baby. That was all she was holding on to at the moment.
“I know. This is getting to be a habit. One I will be happy to break.” She poked at the tube in her arm. It was positioned so that no matter how she moved, it tugged at her skin and made her uncomfortable.
It was truly a cruel twist of fate for her to have so many medical issues considering how much she hated hospitals. They were just harbingers of germs. Whose bright idea was it anyway to put all the sick people in the same place? She felt like she was going to be permanently contaminated by the time the doctor returned to release her.
Or at least she could only hope he would release her. She stopped messing with the tube in her arm. If whatever was in that bag could help her get better faster, then she was all for it.
“I’m just glad Matt was there. I hate to think what could have happened if he hadn’t found you.” Ridley’s voice brought her out of her daydreaming.
“I know. Can you go check and see if he’s still here? I want to say thank you.” Raina also wanted to apologize for being difficult. He’d only been trying to help her and she was pretty sure she’d snapped at him.
Ridley left briefly and Raina used the time to close her eyes and rest her head. It was nice to finally understand why she was so tired. She’d figured it was just part of being pregnant. It had made her feel incredibly guilty because after all the time, stress, and worry that had gone into getting pregnant, she’d expected to enjoy it. To be glowing and healthy and excited.
Instead she’d just been barfing and miserable and sick.
At least there was something she could do now that would hopefully make her feel better.
Ridley came back in the room, Nick trailing behind her. As soon as he saw her, he pushed past Ridley and strode to the side of the bed.
“I came as soon as I got Matt’s message. What happened? Are you okay?” He turned to Ridley. “Is she okay?”
“They said she’s dehydrated. She’s going to be just fine after she gets some vitamins and nutrients in her.” Ridley leaned over the side of the bed and kissed Raina on the forehead. “Now that I know you’re in good hands, I’m going to give the rest of the family a call and let them know you’re okay.”
“Thanks, Ridley. I should have called on the way here but I wasn’t even thinking.” Nick took the seat next to her bed. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”
“Where were you, Nick?”
“I went to get a soda from the vending machine and then I was in the conference room waiting for Matt. I didn’t realize I lef
t my phone on my desk. I waited for him to come back for about fifteen minutes before I went back to my office. Kay finally found me.”
“I was so scared something was wrong with the baby,” she admitted finally, giving voice to the fears she hadn’t wanted to say aloud.
“Did the doctors say the baby was in any danger?” He placed a hand over her abdomen.
She wasn’t showing at all yet and hadn’t gained any weight. She’d actually lost weight. It was no wonder, considering she hadn’t held down a full meal in over a month.
“Everything seems to be fine. The doctor is going to come back in a while to give me the results of the blood work. I think they’re going to give me something to help with the nausea, too. I feel like such an idiot. Dr. Waters told me to report any problems I had, but I just thought throwing up was part of being pregnant. I hope I haven’t starved our baby.”
“It’s not your fault, Raina. You couldn’t know what’s normal or not. At least we’ll know something soon.” His phone beeped and he pulled it out. “I wonder if this is Mom. Once everyone hears what happened, you’ll probably have more visitors than you really want.”
Raina ran a hand over her hair self-consciously. “Why is it that when people most want to visit you is also the time when you look your worst?”
“You look beautiful.”
“Nick, I want to tell you something.”
Nick put his phone down and pulled his chair closer.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I’m tired of dancing around it and not being brave enough to say it. You’ve always been honest with me, even when it wasn’t easy for you. How can I be any less brave for you? So, I love you. I love you so much.”
He looked like he was in shock by the end of her little speech. His mouth fell open and he let out a little cough.
“You’re going to make me cry in public, you know that?” He laughed softly.
She leaned to the edge of the hospital bed so she could be as close to him as possible. He leaned against the metal frame and pressed his forehead to hers.
“No more I think I love you?”
She grinned up at him. “Definitely not.”
* * * * *
NICK SAT ON the edge of Raina’s bed and watched as she tried to braid her long hair over her shoulder. If she felt well enough to be worried about her appearance, he figured she must be recovering quickly.
“I still can’t believe that Steven made up all those lies. He deliberately led me to believe that you tried to seduce his wife away from him. He never mentioned that you had no idea she was married.”
“I think it makes him feel better to blame someone else,” Nick replied.
“What if Steven hadn’t been divorced when I met him but hadn’t told me? That could have happened just as easily to me.” Raina reached out and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you he’d been calling. I just didn’t want to upset you or make you think you couldn’t trust me. He’s not the one I want. He never was. Are you mad at me?”
“I’m not upset with you. I’m just upset that you didn’t feel you could tell me. I don’t want you to keep anything from me.”
“I won’t. I’ve learned my lesson. I know you wouldn’t keep secrets from me, either. Especially about something as big as finances.”
Nick stopped and looked down at her. “Finances?”
“Yeah. Steven said that your foundation was in financial trouble.” Something in Nick’s face must have changed because she suddenly stopped talking. “Nick?” He looked up at her and she sucked in a deep breath. “There’s no truth to what Steven said is there?”
“I can’t lie to you, sweets. It’s the only thing that makes me who I am. I’ll always tell you the truth.”
“Then it’s true. You’re in financial trouble?”
“Not yet. But I probably will be if my foundation doesn’t get more investors soon.”
“Oh, God. I was really hoping he made that up just to be mean.” Raina paled and let go of his arm.
Nick couldn’t understand why his foundation was of any interest to her. Especially not enough to cause her to look like that.
“He didn’t make that part up, unfortunately.”
Raina’s eyes swung back to his face. “He was so surprised that you hadn’t asked me to donate. He thinks that was the reason you married me. That you had some master plan to use me to push your agenda.”
Nick gritted his teeth. “I would never use you.”
“So it never occurred to you before we were married that an association with me could help your foundation?”
Nick immediately thought of the day Matt had come to his office. It seemed like a million years ago that he’d had the idea of asking Ridley to convince Raina to help him.
“It occurred to me. I can’t pretend it didn’t occur to me. But that’s not why I married you.”
Raina scoffed. “Of course not. You married me because I’ve always been so nice to you.”
“All I was going to do was ask Ridley to talk to you about doing some ads for us. That’s all. I didn’t need to marry you for that.”
“I can’t believe how stupid I am sometimes.”
Nick’s heart sank. “Don’t say that. You can’t honestly believe that I married you to take advantage of you?”
“I’m sure you didn’t think of it that way. It was probably just a nice bonus. Marry the girl, have some hot sex, and instantly boost your public profile at the same time. A win-win-win all around, right?”
He hadn’t been on the receiving end of her sharp tongue in so long that he’d lost his armor. Every word she said sliced through him until Nick was shocked there weren’t holes straight through him.
“It wasn’t like that.”
“The thing I don’t get is why would you do that? Why would you go to all this trouble to make me fall in love with you? I was willing to marry you without all that. I was determined to keep things neutral between us. You’re the one who kept pushing for more.”
“I wanted you to fall in love with me because I’m in love with you.”
Raina closed her eyes. “Steven admitted that he’s been making things difficult for you. Did you marry me just to get back at him?” The quiet despair in her voice sliced his emotions in half.
“Oh, no. Raina. I’ve been in love with you all along and that never changed. I don’t care what Steven said. You know what we have is real.”
She stared up at him from tear-filled eyes. “No, I don’t. That’s the problem. I just don’t know what’s real anymore. I don’t know anything at all.”
That was when Nick got angry. It was utter bullshit that she’d believe her ex over his word. “You just told me you love me and now just ten minutes later, you’re suddenly not sure? Raina, don’t you see? You’re just afraid. But you don’t have to be.”
“I do. I was afraid and it turns out I had good reason to be. This whole time I thought you were doing all this stuff for me but it’s really been some macho pissing contest between you and Steven.” She pulled the thin blanket higher on her chest, almost as if it could shield her from him. “You’re like two toddlers fighting over a toy. A toy that neither of you actually even wants.”
“That’s not true, Raina.” Nick wondered how they’d gone from her declaring her love to accusing him of using her. “Whenever I get anywhere close to touching your heart, you pull away from me. I’ve done everything I can to show you how I feel. There’s a point where you just can’t do any more without losing yourself. I love you, Raina, but you don’t make it easy.”
Raina let out a sob. “You think this is easy for me? I want so much to believe you. But I’ve seen you in action before. You’re so used to doing whatever you want to bend the world to your will. When was the last time you did something with no ulterior motive? Something with no benefit to you?”
It hurt Nick more than he’d thought possible that he couldn’t think of even one example for her.
“I hate that this is hur
ting you, sweetheart. I can’t stand to see you cry. I’ve always only wanted you to be happy. I would never knowingly cause you harm.”
“I know you never mean any harm, Nick. But sometimes even when you don’t mean for it to happen, people get hurt. This hurts,” she cried.
He tried to approach her bed but as soon as he did, she started crying harder. “I just can’t believe it. I just can’t.” The monitor attached to her arm started going crazy.
A nurse came in a few minutes later. “What happened in here? She was doing so much better.”
“I can’t. I just can’t,” Raina cried. She kept saying it over and over until the nurse looked up at him in alarm.
There was nothing left for him to do but leave.
* * * * *
NICK PACED BACK and forth in the corridor outside Raina’s room. His shoes made little squeaking sounds on the linoleum floor. Everything Raina had just said felt like it was replaying in his head.
Hadn’t he thought many times over the past month that he should confide in Raina about his problems? She was a great listener and was great at coming up with creative solutions to problems. He certainly didn’t doubt her intelligence. She was quite well versed in geography and world affairs due to all her traveling. If he’d confided in her, she’d have probably been able to help.
It had been his pride, his stupid pride, that had kept him from telling her. He hadn’t wanted to admit that the whiz kid might have made a mistake. He never wanted her to think less of him or have her faith in him tarnished.
Now, her faith in him had been completely shattered.
He’d known that his complicated past with her ex was going to come back and bite him in the ass. He should have told her everything himself before Steven had a chance to put his twisted spin on things. But he hadn’t wanted to take a chance on pushing her away when they’d finally started to get closer. He’d let his fear override his common sense. Now it was too late.