by Hawk, Ryanne
“Just kill her and leave me be,” I said to him even though he couldn’t hear me. As the words left my mouth, a strange pain radiated up my spine and crippled me, doubling me over at the waist as I nearly threw up in shame. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want him to die either.
“You have to go back, sweetie. You can’t stay here.”
I turned and stared into her cornflower blue eyes. The windows to her soul reminded me of summer, oceans, love, and harmony. “I know, Gram, but it’s peaceful here, and I feel good. I don’t fight with myself constantly. The only other time I’ve felt this way is when I’ve been with…”
Gram’s gaze riveted on my face, and a little light danced in her eyes. “Say the words, child.”
“Sol,” I croaked. “Sol makes me feel whole.”
I glanced back to him, my heart at war with my mind, then at my grandmother once more before I closed my eyes and let the tears fall where they may.
I’d run long enough.
Chapter Fourteen
Dorothy from the wizard of Oz deserved more credit. Traveling from a dream world or the world in-between back into the living world hurt like a motherfucker. Or maybe the misery was from the gaping hole in my chest and the labor to breathe. Either way, the pain choked me, and my eyes fluttered open, but no sound escaped my mouth.
I wanted to tell him to let me go and to save himself. Kill Pandora for the world and move on with his life. He didn’t need me to find his light. His light resided inside himself, always had, he just forgot how to see.
The world blinked into focus, and the night steamed with menace and violence. Everything seemed darker and harsher here in the living realm than in the space between where there was light and hope. As I tried to inhale, the fear and despair clogged my throat. Then Sol’s face appeared in my sights.
His new form was huge and grotesque in a beautiful way. I wanted to reach up and run my fingers down his leathery grey skin and kiss his lips. A sense of panic wafted over me, and I knew the angst wasn’t mine, but his. Fear that I couldn’t accept this part of him.
Nothing existed in that moment, but him. Not the world, not the streets, nor the pain. Just he and I staring at each other and I needed him to understand I loved him. All of him, no matter what form he wore or shape he took. We belonged together.
My arms lay flat by my sides, and I attempted to lift one up to touch him. Unfortunately, my body seemed paralyzed, and I remained immobile. My eyes must have conveyed my intention for he bent down and nuzzled his face into my hand. The jolt was instant, and I focused on harnessing my feelings and thoughts into energy and sent them to him through my hand.
The moment my energy hit him he relaxed and swayed on his paws, nuzzling his head harder into my hand as he searched for more. I gave him all I had left, and my body shuddered. I was utterly depleted.
Above me, he wailed and launched up into the air then came crashing down on the ground ten feet from me. He ran and smashed dumpsters, garbage cans, and walls. Beside me, I heard Pandora cackle. Sol’s mystic chains still held her bound.
“This is the most fun I’ve had in ages. I’ve never seen him so enraged. Too bad you aren’t worth his downfall. You were easy to beat.”
I turned my head to meet her stare and let her see just how her words affected me. I showed her how badly I wanted to kill her.
She laughed. “You’re already dead; he just doesn’t realize how dire the twist to this play is yet. I saw what you did. What you gave him. I will relish his pain when he figures it out. So I suppose I should thank you. Carol will be pleased.”
The clawing tirade came closer, and Sol’s heavy breathing evened out as he lay beside me, content Pandora was contained, and I was breathing. Pandora was right though. He didn’t realize I only had a few moments left. I wanted him to kill her, to avenge my grandmother, and for his own sake.
The words tumbled out of my mouth. “I’m sorry, Sol. I didn’t fight hard enough. I was too weak to beat her. But you—you have your whole life ahead of you. I want you to hold my light within your hands and know true peace and happiness. I want you to feel all the love I held inside for you forever. Don’t ever let go. Keep me with you and remember me. Please.”
He hurled up onto all fours, and the magic he possessed swirled along his skin. There was a faint sizzle and pop. His horns receded, and he became a man in one blink to the next. He panted next to me and whispered, “Cordelia? Cordelia, what did you do?”
“What I had to. For you.”
Beside us, Pandora’s high-pitched laugh rendered me speechless. The shrill sound laced its way up my body, and my vision blurred. “She’ll be dead in a few minutes.” She cackled with glee. “She gave you her lock and key. What a fool.”
Sol glanced from her back to me and the look in his eyes confused me. I found myself unable to decipher him. He’d bottled his emotions. “Why? Why did you do this?”
My heartbeat slowed, and my body relaxed despite my will. My strength waned and I knew I didn’t have much longer. “Because I love you. Because I knew you needed my light. From the first time we met, you pulled me, anchored me, and gave me peace. I wanted to give the comfort and joy back to you.”
My breath stalled and I gagged. I tried to spit out the blood that was trying to drown me, but the sludge overwhelmed me. “Let my love guide you,” I whispered.
“No!” He slammed his hands together and chanted. “No, Cordelia. I’m not going to lose you. Don’t do this!” His innate magic ran along his skin, the grey mists dancing together and snaking their way up to his hands where he spun them together, creating a new energy ball—one unlike the previous.
The colors ranged from red to pink, purples and blues. He stole energy from the water around us, the slush, the rain. He harnessed it all and he awed me. He was magnificent. He called to everything around us: earth, wind, water, and fire. He became a black hole for his magic, but he couldn’t hold Pandora down too.
In my peripheral vision, I saw her chains vanish, and I watched in horror as she rose to her feet. I tried to warn Sol with my eyes, but in a flash, I realized he already knew.
He stared down at me with such fierce love what was left of my heart broke and the last tears leaked from my eyes. “You belong with me,” he said as he brought his hands down to hurl the magic at me.
I braced myself and began to shut my eyes for the pain I knew was coming. As I looked up at him one last time, I saw Pandora behind him with her claws out and a cruel, demented smile on her face. As he let the energy go, her claws pierced through his back and he screamed.
His life energy consumed me, and the force devoured me from the inside out.
★★★
They say time stops when you’re in love. That distance, age, race—none of those issues matter when you find the one you’ve searched for.
I knew this was true now.
There was nothing but blackness around me, with twinkling lights and sweet music. The calm and peace before death soothed the beast within me, and I’d never felt more alive. My nerves raced with electricity; my blood steamed in my skin. Everywhere fire laced, a frozen chill replaced the agony in seconds. I allowed myself to follow the paths, to see inside myself and watch.
My toes tingled as I became aware of their presence. I flowed up my calves, my thighs into my stomach. I inhaled and the energy coursed into my soul. I lurched as the exaction and pressure crocheted in and out of the tear I’d always sensed but never saw. The red strands of fate wove through and out, through and out, and before long the hole mended. For the first time in my existence, I breathed as one.
His love healed every hole, every rip, and I sighed with contentment as my body relaxed once more.
If I stayed here, in this empty, beautiful space for much longer, I knew I would simply meet our maker and be free. Free from the pressures, the harsh realities, and the truth. But I was no longer afraid, and I had to save Sol.
Sol.
I opened my eyes and a whole
new world met me. The scents and sounds overwhelmed my senses, and I stole a breath to gather the calm needed for what I was about to do.
To my left, Pandora and Sol were locked in battle. Sol’s bloody body called to me, and I was compelled to answer. Before I realized what happened, I was on my feet and racing across the dirty, wet pavement. As I reached their battle, Sol caught sight of me and dropped to his knees, leaving himself open to Pandora’s onslaught. She wasted no time and raked her claws down his chest and bit into his neck with her razor sharp teeth, pulling a huge chunk of skin and grizzle with her. She spit and licked her lips as Sol fell to the ground in a heap at her feet.
She turned and planted her feet, gearing to battle, and so I did the same. Only something else urged me. I raised both my hands, palms out, and pointed one towards Sol and the other to Pandora.
“Pandora, for the crime of killing my grandmother, and attempting to kill me—I sentence you to death.”
She openly laughed. “Who do you think you are, little girl? You can’t kill me.”
Sol barely breathed on my left, and time became my enemy as his life’s blood spilled onto the damp concrete.
“I can and will. You are expendable. Did you really think Carol sent you here because she thought you’d win? You’re a dunce. A joke. Yes, you ambushed my grandmother, but in the end—you’re the one who’s going to die. Not me.”
From deep within me, a force rose, and I unlocked myself. My right palm shot laser-like black energy to Pandora, hoisting her up into the air and locking her to me. My left palm sent sanative waves of white light to Sol, encasing his body and holding him steady in my heart.
Pandora screamed as my spirit invaded her aura, and I grasped her life within my hands. I opened my shields and absorbed her life into me, the vileness of her being filtered by my lighter half and sent as healing into Sol. I’d become a conduit between life and death. In this instance, I used her life—her blacked soul—and harvested her power and energy for the greater good.
Her toxic venom fermented inside me, and I convulsed under the enormity of all the horrific atrocities she’d committed. I stood strong and bore witness to her crimes, allowing them to enter into me then leave in judgment.
Her body jerked and shriveled as I sent electric pulses through the strands of darkness I wove around her body and aura. Her skin oozed and bubbled as I watched in fascinated horror at what I was now capable of.
“Finish her, Cordelia. Don’t make her suffer; it’s not who you are,” Sol’s weakened voice whispered to me. He broke through my anger and rage, his cadence singing to me in a way I’d never known before.
I glanced over at him as he sat up, his cuts and bruises healing, the hole in his neck mending. His eyes beseeched and snared me. He was still in my protective bubble, and I sent him more love and peace.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on my right side. There was no longer Delia and Cordy. There was only me, and I controlled my light and dark nature. In my mind’s eye, I pictured Pandora bursting into flame, exploding from within without pain. She’d be gone from this world and unable to come back to hurt me, Sol, or my family again.
I sent my intent along the vines that tied her to me then let go and cut them off at my fingertips. As I opened my eyes, I watched as the flames sped down the line and into her, and her eyes widened for a mere second before a super sonic boom bounced off the buildings and an orb of white-hot light flashed before our eyes.
When the sparkles left and sound returned, there was nothing left of Pandora but a tattered piece from her red dress billowing on the wind.
I dropped to my hands and knees sobbing, unable to move from the spot, though, I desperately wanted Sol’s arms around me. The tears formed and slid down my cheeks, but instead of flash floods and huge storms, a light warm mist fell from the sky.
His scent reached me before his arms banded around my waist, and I was pulled back into his warm lap. “You’re okay, baby. I got you.”
I sank into the heat of Sol, the love and affection bringing us closer to joy in the wake of such despair. My dry lips and parched throat made talking difficult, but I needed to say something.
He pressed me tighter, my head resting on his shoulder, my legs across his lap. He stroked my hair, my shoulder, and kissed my forehead.
“I love you, my Sol, and I’m never letting you go.”
Though I couldn’t see his face, his smile warmed my soul. “I love you too, Cordelia. You belong with me. Let’s go home and make it official.” He wagged his eyebrows, and though his face was filthy and blood crusted, he was the most beautiful man to me.
I reached up, caressed his cheek, and leaned up to kiss his lips lightly. “Okay.”
“Oh, and by the way, we’ll talk about the little stunt you pulled later.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes. Don’t ever do that again.”
“Well, I’ve got a bone to pick with you too, mister.”
Sol arched a brow at me. “And what would that be?”
“You left me! You didn’t answer my calls, texts, messages, emails. I worried about you.” I took a breath and it kind of hurt to breathe. “If I had enough strength, I’d punch you right now. And I’m mad about Chrissie,” I said with a little bit of hurt and a lot of snark. “And don’t get me started on her, either,” I said, knowing he’d know who I’d meant.
He sobered for an instant, then chuckled as he stood up, still holding me in his arms and walked down the street now streaked with dawn’s early morning rays. “We’ll talk about where I was after we’ve had a bath, dinner, and some love making, okay?”
"Oh, and why the hell did you take Zach?"
He opened his mouth to speak but my phone rang.
Sol snapped into attention mode and said, “Who could that be at this hour?”
I shrugged and patted my pockets as I removed my phone, answering in a sleepy voice, “Hello?”
“Ms. Kelly? Ms. Kelly, I think he’s dead,” said a slurred hysterical female voice.
“What? Who is this?” I pulled the phone away from my ear and glanced at the number on the caller ID.
Tara.
“Tara? Honey, are you okay? Where are you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. He’s not moving. Something happened. I don’t know.”
Click.
The connection broke and the phone went dead in my hand. “Tara, oh no,” I whispered on a hoarse breath and gasped, every thought and battle screaming to the forefront of my head, my mind struggling to keep up, too much happened in such a short time. My heartbeat drummed in my ears and suddenly I couldn’t draw in enough air to breathe. Anxiety, along with numbing fear surged through my limbs and every place in between. A thin sheen of sweat covered my body. A collision of hot and cold slithered over my flesh, heat on the right, cold on my left, then they'd switch sides.
The world spun out of control. I squeezed my eyes shut and a kaleidoscope of nightmarish visions streamed behind my eyelids. I saw the dead body of Dixon Sharpe laying at my feet, killed by me in righteous self-defense. I relived the joy of my near-death celestial visit with Grams, my dead maternal Grandmother. The horror of learning that Carol, my paternal Grandmother, was responsible for Gram’s death, and knowing she wanted me dead, too. In my mind, I saw the evil Pandora, who murdered my Grams on Carol’s orders, incinerated without a trace by my magic fire. I swallowed and shivered as I remembered the thrill of Pandora’s power and malignant energy coursing through my body.
How much more could I handle, alone?
I screamed, but no sound escaped my mouth. My eyes snapped open and Sol’s face filled my vision, his dark countenance marred with concern. No, I wasn’t alone anymore...I had Sol. He was my sunshine, my heart, and my soul. He’d saved my life in more ways than one. Without Sol I’d still be hopelessly lost and unable to merge my dual natures in harmony. I loved this man with every fiber of my being. I was safe, nestled in Sol’s strong arms.
I was glad he ca
rried me because otherwise I might have collapsed. I finally had Sol back where he belonged, with me...but wait, where had he gone? I shook my head, trying to dislodge the fog and tingles.
His lips moved, but I couldn’t hear a word he said. In fact, I couldn’t hear anything other than my own ragged breathing. What the fuck is going on? Am I losing my mind? I opened my mouth to try to scream again, but Sol leaned forward and sealed his lips to mine. His thick tongue snaked inside my mouth and I kissed him with fierce desire as though he were my lifeline. My love and passion for him exploded in my heart. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight. My eyes drifted closed as his kiss calmed my swirling mind and soon, sanity returned to the world.
“Hey, you two should get a room,” a disembodied voice shouted in the distance.
Sol broke our kiss and I opened my eyes. My vision was blurry, as though I was awakening from a dream. Sights, sounds, and smells assaulted my senses. I looked around and I couldn’t believe my eyes. We stood on the sidewalk somewhere in the shopping district. People walked by, either heading home from a long night of partying or going to start their work day. A Metro bus rolled by and a little old lady gawked out the window at us. The fumes from the bus’s exhaust almost choked me.
I shifted my eyes back to Sol’s face as a frown darkened his eyes. “Baby, are you ok?” he said.
I thought about his question for a moment, my mind still processing. I licked my dry lips and cleared my throat. “No, yes. I don’t know. We have to find Tara. What the hell just happened?”
“I heard the conversation. We’ll find her. Take a few deep breaths and settle yourself.”
He walked over to a nearby covered bench at the bus stop and sat me down. He plopped next to me and held my hand. I’d gotten used to Sol’s public displays of affection. In fact, I dare say I might secretly enjoy the touches. Not embarrassed anymore but filled with pride. His huge hand dwarfed mine and I drew strength from our bond. For the first time my senses cleared and I noticed Sol was missing his shirt. The sight of his bare chest suddenly made my nipples ache. His pants were bloodied and torn. I looked down and my clothes faired no better. My jeans had faux ‘designer’ rips in them, so most people would glance over the new tears, but my yoga jacket had a gapping blood stained hole over my heart. The fight with Pandora had taken a toll on our clothing. We couldn’t sit here for long or we’d be arrested for vagrancy, or asked where we'd hid the body. Neither boded well.