He keyed the ignition and headed down the driveway both terrified and anxious to meet Harper.
Ten
Harper gripped the steering wheel tighter as it threatened to shimmy out of her hands. The dirt road, rough and rutted, jiggled and wiggled every part of her body while she clamped her teeth into a death grip to keep from biting off her own tongue. She shook her head as Brianna drove ever faster over the rutted dirt road in desperate need of a road grader. A relieved sigh escaped her lips when she saw Brianna apply breaks and flip on the turn signal. She glanced in the review mirror to reassure herself that the trailer had survived the journey.
The dust kicked up from Brianna’s tires momentarily obscured the property from view, but when it cleared Harper applied the brakes and stopped to take in the sight. Though the home was rundown, the land surrounding it was gorgeous. A long dirt drive encased in ragged shade cast by massive leafless oak trees created a tunnel that belonged in storybooks. She’d never seen anything quite like it. The old-timey vibe reminded her of southern plantations with oak trees dripping Spanish moss and garden parties where little girls wore dresses and white straw hats. The fields looked like they were straight from a Kentucky horse farm complete with expanses of open pasture and two grazing horses though the fencing was limited to a small area around the barn. Harper remembered Cara telling her about the difficulties of ripping down all the rotting wood fencing and her plans to replace it all with white vinyl when she could afford it.
Her eyes filled at the thought of all the things Cara would never be able to finish. She eased her foot off the brake and finished her trek down the long drive. Brianna stood next to her car smiling and waving as Harper pulled next to her car and parked.
“It’s inspiring isn’t it?” Brianna asked as Harper slammed her door shut and made her way to Brianna’s side.
Harper nodded, not quite ready to speak, afraid her emotions would not be kept in check if she opened her mouth. She huffed in a deep breath and motioned Brianna forward. The cold scent of frost dried vegetation made its way into her core.
A soft thump came from the side of the house. They looked over to see what made the noise. Ziggie stood half in half out of his doggie door as he observed the newcomers to his home. The dejection clear in his hopeful examining eyes that didn’t spot the person he sought. With a sigh and a low moan he pushed the rest of the way through the doggie door and turned around. His thick curled tail hung low as he pushed back inside the house.
The earlier threatened tears spilled from Harper’s welling eyes as she watched the big dog display such human emotions. Her heart ached at the thought of what the poor dog must have gone through for the past month as he waited hopefully for Cara to return. She imagined him lying in wait for his dead owner to return, each door slam sparking an ember of hope that was squelched by reality when she never appeared.
Brianna caught her eye when Harper looked away from the flapping doggie door. “It’s terrible I know. Noah said Ziggie does this every time he comes to feed. At least twice a day that poor dog is reminded he’s all alone, but he refuses to leave the house. Noah said he took him to his house once, but Ziggie escaped and came home. You’ll have your work cut out with him.” Brianna dug through her purse and handed Harper a pack of travel tissue. “Here, you need this.”
Harper reached out and took the pack. “Thanks.” She pulled a tissue out wiped her eyes then blew her drippy nose with a loud honk. With a snuffle she crumbled the tissue and gripped it in her hand. “He may be more depressed than me. I hope I can help him. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid though. My ex never liked dogs, so I gave in and didn’t have any pets. It was easier that way anyway since we moved around so often when he got a new assignment.”
Brianna shook her head and squinted her eyes. “Harper, can I be honest with you?”
Harper gave her a puzzled look unsure of where the conversation was heading. “Um, sure.”
“Your ex is a real tool and you’re lucky to be shut of him.”
Harper released a bubble of pent up laughter. “You know, I think you may be right. How about we go inside so I can meet that poor dog and see the house?”
Brianna slid the key in and turned the handle. The old door with peeling red paint squeaked a low tone as it opened.
Harper’s breathing increased and her heart beat faster as she moved through the doorway. The scent of Cara’s favorite candles permeated the house. Cara loved Yankee candles, especially apple scented ones and the aroma of fresh apples hung in the air as though it leaked from her home’s pores. Harper couldn’t help looking around, expecting to see Cara come running into the room with her usual zest and flair for greetings. Brianna watched Harper’s reaction.
“Hon, are you alright? You’re looking a little peaked.”
Harper’s hand covered her heart in an attempt to slow its thunderous pounding. “I didn’t expect the smell to overwhelm me so much. Cara loved apple scents and I’ve always identified apples with her, and now she’ll never enjoy them again. My heart aches at the thought of her missing out on these simple things.” Harper’s hand waved around. “It’s so unfair that she lost her life because of someone else’s stupidity.”
Brianna raced to her side and enveloped Harper in a mama bear’s protective hug. Harper returned the hug, grateful to have an instant friend in Brianna. She would need someone to lean on in the coming months as she tried to make a life surrounded by the ghost of Cara. She squeezed her eyes shut and let the briny emotion drip from her lashes and soak Brianna’s pink silk blouse.
Harper’s eyes popped open when she heard a light huffing coming from the side of the living room. She glanced around until she found the source of the noise. Ziggie lay on a blue fleece dog bed next to a large stone hearth. His jaws worked up and down as he continued the unusual noise. She heard his teeth clacking softly as the huffing continued. His amber eyes sought a place to land when Harper glanced at him. The depth of their shared pain was reflected in the deep amber of his eyes.
Harper pulled back from Brianna and made her way across the room. She kneeled in front of Ziggie. He acknowledged her presence by slowing the clacking of his teeth while continuing the light huffing. She reached a tentative hand toward the massive black head resting on white paws, his ears flattened to the side in an absolute despondent pose. Her hand sank into the deep pile of silky fur on his head. His body grew rigid at her touch. He offered no resistance to her touch, but he didn’t seem to enjoy it as most dogs would.
Harper stood with a sigh. “I think this poor dog is hurting more than me. If he could cry he would be bawling right now.”
Brianna nodded her agreement. “I don’t know how much you know about Akitas, but they are a breed that feels deeply and forms an iron bond to their chosen human. They are very selective with their devotion. He may let you in, but it’s going to take some time to help him get through what he’s going through.”
Harper looked at Brianna with concern. “You don’t think he’s dangerous do you?”
Brianna shook her head. “I don’t think he’s dangerous at all, don’t push too hard and he’ll come to you with time and patience.”
“I’ll give him all the space he needs.” Harper turned from the sad sight of the heartbroken dog. “You feel like showing me around? Seeing Cara’s stuff is going to be difficult for me, I could really use a friend right now.”
“Absolutely, let’s get started.”
Brianna led the way showing Harper each room and spouting off statistics of each space. Harper followed behind walking with tentative steps unable to quell the nausea bubbling in her stomach as she looked at Cara’s belongings. Some things were familiar as Cara had carried them with her on her numerous moves around the country. Harper refused to enter the master bedroom not ready to confront the demon that was staring out from the place Cara last laid her head.
Neither Harper nor Brianna heard Ziggie plodding along behind them as they made their way through the sprawli
ng house. He walked with feet so quiet they could have been encased in cotton booties. He kept a close eye on the women. When he was satisfied they weren’t disturbing anything he made his way back to his pillow and flopped down in disgust.
He raised his head with expectation as he heard a familiar vehicle making its way down the driveway. He hopped to his feet with a semblance of his old bouncy nature. With a soft woof he pushed his way through the doggie door and waited for the visitors that came twice each day to feed and pet him. The man he tolerated, but the wiggly boy he loved almost as much as his missing Cara. Tires crunched on loose gravel as the car stopped in front of the house next to the other vehicles.
Ziggie’s tail wiggled back and forth as Grayson tumbled from the car and raced to the fence in a cloud of innocent boyish joy. Ziggie stuck his nose in the wire mesh of the chain link fence. His nose twitched as he waited for Grayson to reach his arm through the fence and rub his head. A low whine issued from his throat as the small hand made contact and sank into the thick fur on his neck. Grayson patted with unfettered enthusiasm.
“Hi boy, did you miss me? I missed you. I love you Ziggie. I wish you’d come home with us, you’d like it there.”
“Al righty little mister, you know we’ve tried bringing him home, but he’d rather stay here for now. Besides he has a new owner now.” Grayson tickled the back of Noah’s neck. Grayson screeched with an excited giggle.
“I know Daddy you told me already. Maybe someday he’ll come over for a visit with his new owner.”
Harper’s ears perked at the sweet music of a child’s laughter. She looked at Brianna with questions in her eyes. “Who’s that?”
Brianna’s lips stretched into a goofy grin. “Well, my new friend that must be Noah and his little boy Grayson. Remember, I told you they’d been watching over the place?”
Harper nodded.
“You ready to meet them? Noah’s single by the way, if you know what I mean.” Brianna winked then stalked off, trailing her signature vanilla scent in her wake.
Harper shrugged then followed behind. She heard the little boy’s laughter again as she approached the door. Brianna stood in the yard with her arms wrapped around a tall man with wavy black hair. A little boy popped from behind Brianna and Noah. Harper’s spit dried in her mouth and her breath caught in her throat unable to find an exit suitable for its airy path.
A silent roar raced through Harper’s head at the sight of the little boy. Black curls bounced upon his head and dark blue eyes stared at her when they caught sight of her standing in the door way. She forced calm into her mind and released the air trapped in her lungs. The boy reminded her of all that she had lost with the death of each of her sons. He looked familiar enough that he could have been one of those boys. Her hand reached to stroke the locket around her neck. Her fingers traced their initials over and over, her hand shaking and her fingers damp with nervous perspiration.
His little hand lifted in a silent wave before a giddy greeting raced past his red tinged lips. His cheeks ruddy from the cold and his bare arms covered in goose flesh from the nippy wind swaying the trees. For her it was love at first sight. She wanted to scoop him up and run away with the flesh and blood realization of her dead children.
“Hi, Miss Bri told me your name is Harper. I like your name. I have a game that has creatures called Harpies.” He tittered. “My name is Grayson.”
Brianna and Noah turned to watch the exchange as Harper made her slow way down the porch stairs. Her hand stuck to the railing in a tight grip as each stair tread met her shaking feet and trembling body.
She gulped in an audible string of nervous energy. When she reached the gravel of the yard she kneeled in front of the boy so she was eye level with Grayson. “Uh… hi Grayson, I’m very pleased to meet you.” She stuck her hand out for him to shake, curious what his reaction would be to an adult handshake.
He batted her hand away and jumped into her arms. His arms snaked around her neck and he whisper-talked into her ear. “My dad says a hug is better than a handshake and,” he pulled back so he could look into her face and squeeze her cheeks between his sticky hands “you really looked like you needed one.”
Harper melted at the feelings that stirred within her soul. She breathed in through her nostrils wanting to memorize the scent of this incarnation of all she had lost.
He smelled of candy, baked goods, little boy sweat, dirt, and a hint of woodsy forest. She lost count of the times she had cried in one day as tears leaked from her eyes.
He reached up and swiped the tears away. “I’m sorry Miss Harper, did I do something wrong?”
She drew Grayson to her chest. “No, you sweet thing, you did nothing wrong. I’m very emotional right now and you reminded me of someone I never got to know.”
He nodded his head in understanding. “I know what you mean. I lost my stuffed tiger one day and Daddy bought me a new one who looked the same even though I knew it wasn’t. I cried bunches when Tiggie went missing.”
Eleven
Noah watched Harper step from the house and make her tentative way down the stairs. His breath stuck in his throat at the sight. Cara’s description of her lacked the finite details of her soft understated magnetism. Harper was a beautiful doe eyed woman with long dark hair and dark pools that he wanted to swim in. The poet in him screamed to write prose that fit the woman he saw kneeling in front of his son. Her reaction to Grayson was the most compelling thing he’d ever witnessed. Her soft eyes widened and tears pooled into dammed rivers on her lower lids.
Brianna reached over to grasp his forearm and looked at him with a wink and a knowing grin. The shock her cold hand should have generated never occurred. His entire being was consumed with watching Harper and his son form an instant bond. Grayson wiped the tears from her eyes as they spilled and hugged her with genuineness born of seeing a mother figure hurting and a driving need to comfort. He’d always been a sensitive boy and when presented with situations most adults would find uncomfortable he thrived and knew exactly what to do to brighten the sufferer’s day. Noah knew Grayson didn’t understand the depths of Harper’s pain, but he could sense what she needed to improve a funky mood.
Noah cleared his throat and waited for Harper to look at him. When she faced him his voice caught. The force of her eyes arrested the thoughts he wanted to express. Her long straight hair was pulled into a sloppy bun and her brown eyes were soft and dewy, still damp from the tears that had fallen. She reminded him of an Indian princess and his hands itched to release her hair from its bun so the picture would be complete. Cara had never mentioned Harper’s nationality, and he never asked to see a picture, the fact that her linage must include Indian blood surprised him.
She stood and approached him as his thoughts whirled and his mouth refused to work. His palms sprang a sheen of sweat when she stuck her hand out for a shake. Placing his palm in hers he gripped tight enjoying the contact high of holding her hand.
“Um… hi… Harper. I’m so happy to meet you. Cara talked about you like you descended from a magical place of perfect women.” He wiped his free hand over his forehead, relieved his tongue decided to cooperate and form legible sentences with the words hiding in his head. Before he started looking like a weirdo he released her hand with a reluctant opening of his fingers.
“Cara did love to exaggerate my qualities. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the truth. I’m divorced, overweight, and semi-depressed.”
He frowned at her half-joking self-deprecation. “Uh… first your husband sounded like a real pain in the you know what, I think you look great, and anyone would be depressed if they’d gone through what you’ve been through.” Noah curtailed the things he really wanted to say about Harper’s ex, minding the little ears that were listening to every word.
Grayson looked up and grinned at Noah. “Daddy, I know what you mean when you say pain in the you know what.” He pointed at his butt and shook it from side to side, then cracked up.
Harper lau
ghed.
Noah shook his head in defeat. Both his son’s statement and Harper’s pure tinkling laughter set off pleasure receptors in his brain.
“Now tell me little mister who told you that’s what I meant?”
Grayson’s words lilted from his mouth with an edge of teasing maturity. “I’m smart old mister, that’s how I know.” His eyes twinkled before he turned and ran toward the barn. “You can’t catch me!”
Noah caught Harper’s eyes as his widened in fake exasperation. “Now I have to chase the little rascal. That kid is wearing me out. How about you come along and I’ll introduce you to the horses?”
“I’d love to meet them.” She turned back to Brianna who hadn’t made a move to follow them.
“I think I’ll head out, you’re in good hands here.” She gave Harper a sly wink before turning toward her car. “I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re all settled. If you need anything before then give me a call.”
Noah watched the exchange. He considered Brianna a friend, but was happy she was leaving. “Alright let’s go find that sneaky little kid.” Noah raised his voice loud enough for Grayson to hear from the barn where he was hiding.
They heard Grayson’s responding giggles before he muffled them.
“Where in the world did that boy go?” He exaggerated his voice and gestured for Harper to play along as they walked toward the barn.
“I don’t know where he went. He’s so little he may have fallen in a hole and be lost forever. Whatever will you do without your baby boy?”
A high-pitched screech issued from the boy. “I’m right here Daddy.” Grayson waved his arms so they could see him standing in front of a rear stall. “I got you good didn’t I?”
Noah turned to Harper. “Do you hear something? I thought I did… no never mind it must have been my imagination.”
Tragic Renewal Page 7