Tragic Renewal

by Marlina Williams

  “How about you call me to your office and we can repeat this whenever you like. I’d like to not get any more tickets.”

  “As long as you do that every time, I’ll do whatever you want.” He grunted and waved her toward the door. “Do me a favor and lock it on your way out.”

  That was the first of many indiscretions. After a while he grew tired of Stephanie and told her not to return. He threatened that if she ever mentioned their fling he would do everything in his power to have her dishonorably discharged from the Air Force. She never told a soul, and he was free to do the same to an exhaustive string of females. He was surprised at how easy it was to get them to do his bidding. One small threat and they each tumbled into his arms like long lost lovers.

  The male airman under his command did not get the same treatment. He viewed each, no matter how minor the issue, as a troublemaker to be removed from his sight. He destroyed many careers based on his own sense of warped justice. Men standing in front of him crying like children were sadistic pleasures that Scott enjoyed almost as much as manipulating women to do his bidding.

  Isabella yelled at him from the kitchen. “Scott, I know you’re used to issuing the orders, but it’s time you follow mine. Get off your ass and get that crib put together before this baby gets here.”

  Scott groaned and pushed himself from the couch. He stomped his feet as he trudged down the hall. He knew Isabella hated his heavy tread, and he used it to mess with her every chance he got.

  Putting a crib together was a whole new hell he’d never even considered. Nothing lined up, spindles sat crooked in their sockets, and the mattress sat at an angle. Three hours after he began, he gave up. He tugged and jerked the shoddy crib until he got it through the front door. With a shout of anger he yanked the mattress from its crooked framed and threw it inside the house.

  He pulled the crib to the curb to await trash pickup. It sat near the curb with its beautiful mahogany surface shining in the sun. He glared at the piece of trash as he backed from the driveway and considered going back to run it over, to pound it into a splintered pile of baby cage. Logic won when he considered the off-chance of a punctured tire.

  An hour later he returned with a fully assembled crib. The store had charged him several hundred dollars for the privilege of bringing home a crib that wouldn’t crumple if someone looked at it wrong.

  His jaw hung slack as he pulled into the drive. The defective crib was missing from the curb. Crumpled blades of grass told him he was searching the right place.

  When he walked through the front door he shouted for Isabella. “Isa did you see what happened to the crib I dragged out front?”

  A lack of response had him searching the house for his missing spouse. He heard movement in the nursery. She stood in the room beaming. The crib he’d been unable to conquer stood behind her fully assembled.

  With a shout of rage he crossed the room. “What the hell is this? You trying to prove something you stupid bitch?” He bellowed in her face. Spittle raced from his lips to land on her shocked face.

  A shiver of fear ran over her body and hair rose on her arms. Her hands shook as she held them up to defend herself from the violence seething within Scott.

  He grunted. His face was white hot and heated like molten steel. With a laser eyed focus he turned and stomped through the house. After slamming their bedroom door he threw himself on the bed and clutched his head as a raging headache threatened to remove it from his shoulders.

  Sixteen

  Noah combed his hair back, smoothing the dark waves until they lay semi-neat against his skull. He dreaded the date his mom had wheedled him into, but he looked forward to seeing Harper when he dropped off Grayson. For the last few days he hadn’t seen her, but thoughts of her popped into his head at odd moments. He had difficulty resisting the urge to drop in on her as he did her first morning on the farm.

  He was becoming a mind stalker he thought of her so much. Every activity throughout the day seemed to contain some vestige that made her float to the surface.

  When he made breakfast for Grayson he thought how she would enjoy his unique take on oatmeal, with chocolate chips and applesauce. As he sawed wood he thought how she would inhale the aroma of fresh sawdust and a goofy smile would cross her kissable lips. Putting Grayson to bed made him think how she would enjoy tucking in a little boy and watching bright eyes grow cloudy with sleepiness. He thought of her when he dressed and saw cowboy boots, wondering if she purchased some on her shopping trip.

  He stood on the edge of obsession - a new scary sensation for him. His mom always told him he fell too fast when he decided on a woman, he couldn’t deny her assessment, but he also couldn’t help it. Harper was a wounded mistreated woman who needed a shoulder to cry on, not a love-struck man mooning over her every minute. A battle of warring thoughts waged inside his head. He wanted to help and protect her, but he also wanted to hold her in a lover’s embrace.

  He imagined untangling hair from the sloppy bun. Though the bun was cute in a mussed lazy Sunday morning kind of way, he wanted to release the locks from their elastic prison and let them cascade down around her face. His hands itched to stroke the hair he knew was soft as silk and smelled of lavender. With heroic control he kept his mind from wandering from the innocence of hair stroking.

  “Daddy?”

  Noah looked down when Grayson tugged on his shirt. “Hi, little man, what’s up?”

  “Can we go now? I really want to see Miss Harper. You’ve made me wait all day.”

  Grayson wasn’t helping matters in Noah’s attempt to stop thinking about Harper. Every waking hour Grayson queried about her at least once. He sometimes asked several times in a row when Noah gave him a less than satisfactory answer. He’d had the hardest time trying to explain to Grayson’s four year old brain that he didn’t want to smother Harper, and that she may want some time alone to get settled. Grayson stood strong in his determination that she needed help even if she was putting away clothes and rearranging cabinets.

  “C’mon, c’mon, let’s go. Pleeeaaase, Daddy?”

  “Tell you what, how about you go change into those clothes I laid out for you and hit the restroom. After that we’ll be on our way.” He glanced at his watch, knowing they’d be there early.

  Noah glanced at his reflection again, holding his own gaze in the mirror. “Get through this date. It won’t be terrible, be nice and politely drop Jamie off at home and make sure she knows there will be no more dates. She’ll be fine, you’ll be fine.” With a shake of his head he left the bathroom to find his son.

  Grayson stood by the front door clapping his hands with impatience. “Daddy, let’s go, let’s go. Look I’m allll ready. I even changed my own clothes.” He proudly pointed to the dark red tee-shirt he wore.

  Noah smiled. “You sure did little man, but I’ve got some bad news for you.”

  Grayson’s face melted into a pout, a red tinge covered his cheeks giving the appearance of blush. His eyes narrowed and his chin jutted out, all within the few seconds it took him to wonder what his dad was talking about.

  “Don’t worry it’s nothing too dramatic. Just this,” he tapped the back of Grayson’s shirt “is supposed to be in the front. I mean how can Spider-Man see where you’re going if he’s on your back?” Noah teased Grayson, feeling a tiny smidge of guilt for allowing the boy to believe there was something wrong.

  Grayson giggled as he pulled his arms through the arm holes and expertly spun the shirt around. “Daddy, you made me think we weren’t going to Harper’s. I was mad at you for a second. But guess what?” He looked at Noah with twinkling eyes.

  “What is it son?”

  Grayson shouted, “I forgive you!”

  Grayson reached to twist the doorknob.

  “Slow down kiddo, let me get your jacket it’s chilly out there.”

  “Yum, I love chili can we have some? I really really really want some.”

  Noah leaned down and kissed him on the forehead and w
hispered in his ear. “Guess what?”

  “What, tell me what?”

  “I heart you.”

  Grayson’s arms wrapped around Noah’s neck. “I heart you too, Daddy. Big much.”

  “Alright, enough mushy stuff, let’s get you to Harper’s and me to this date.”

  Noah retrieved Grayson’s jacket from the closet before they headed out the door and over to Harper’s.

  Before Noah had a chance to knock, Grayson mashed the lit doorbell. When Harper was slow answering the door, he mashed it again and again in an annoying rhythm.

  They heard the door jiggling and Ziggie let out an excited bark from the other side.

  When the door swung open Harper stood back-lit by the warm light from within. The smell of apple and cinnamon wafted through the air. Ziggie pushed past Harper, his tail wiggling from side to side.

  Grayson giggled as Ziggie licked him from chin to forehead leaving a trail of sticky dog slobber.

  Harper grabbed Ziggie’s collar and pulled him back inside. “Yuck, Ziggie that poor boy doesn’t need you to wash him.”

  “No, I sure don’t. Daddy made me take a bath earlier.” Grayson admonished Ziggie as he pushed through the door and squeezed the dog’s face in his hands.

  Noah stood back and watched the whole exchange, not wanting to disturb the moment. Harper was dressed in lounge pants, and a baggie flannel shirt with her hair captured in its typical elastic prison. A tingle spread over his hands, once again itching to rid her hair of its bindings. No other woman had thrown his libido into overdrive with such simplicity, and the sexiness of a flannel shirt could not be overstated.

  Harper glanced up at him, her onyx eyes capturing him in their moist dark pools. Their darkness accentuated by heavy dark lashes and the sadness that still resonated within. He longed to lean down and touch his lips to hers. The heat coming from her look told him she wouldn’t resist, but he chose control. Her eyes smoldered with a heat that spoke passion buried too long. A tremor ran through his body as he squelched heated impulses.

  “Would you like to come in for a minute so you can see what we have planned for the evening? I’m sure you’re in a hurry to get to your date so I’ll only take a minute.” She asked him, breaking the tension racing through his body.

  Grayson giggled from the living room as they entered the house. He sat on the couch with Ziggie planted next to him, his large head covering Grayson’s entire lap. Ziggie lay on his back paws stuck straight up and tail swishing from side to side.

  Harper and Noah laughed at the sight.

  “Looks like he’s back to his old self. You must be doing something right by that dog.”

  “For the most part he stays in a good mood, but sometimes I see a flash of depression and he’ll retreat to his dog bed. I think it gets better day by day for both of us,” she said.

  After she told him their evening plans Noah retreated toward the front door on reluctant feet. He would have given anything he owned to stay here and spend the evening watching movies, playing games, and baking cookies with his son and a fascinating woman. Obligation poked him in the ribs though and pushed him forward to his dreaded date.

  Harper and Grayson waved from the open front door as he slammed his truck door and started the engine. He sighed with resignation before heading up the driveway. With luck on his side the date would be short and sweet so he could get back to where he longed to be. His rear-view mirror revealed where his heart lay.

  Jamie lived in a small house in the oldest section of the small downtown area. He’d never been to her house, but had passed it many times on drives around town. With dread he pulled into the driveway and turned off the truck. The truck died with a shuttering sigh to match his mood.

  His hands were clammy and shook as he reached to ring the bell. The bell chimed through the small house quickly followed by heels clicking on hard floor. He sucked in another deep breath as the handle jiggled and the door opened.

  Jamie stood in the opening with a quizzical smile. “Hi Noah, long time no see.”

  “Yeah, sorry about this I’m sure my mom manipulated you into this as well.”

  “Oh, good, she did that to you too? I can’t tell you how relieved I am. I agreed to this date because she sold me a story of how lonely you were and how much you needed to get out of the house. I guess you could call it a pity date.”

  A soft grunt of relief snorted from his nose while he shook his head. “My mom is a force and refuses to take no for an answer. I’m sorry she pulled you into this. She doesn’t get you and I will never be more than friends.”

  Jamie reached to grab his arm as her eyes widened with exaggerated disbelief. “What, I thought you were here to rescue the damsel in distress. Save me from a life of lonely old maid status.” She snickered. “I say we go enjoy some time out then report to your mom it’s not going to happen.”

  He reached to hug her. “Thank you for being a good sport. I was empathic with her this was the last time I would agree to her match-making.”

  Noah had always enjoyed Jamie’s company, but had never wanted more than friendship with her. They spent the evening talking and joking with one another about other failed dates and how each was looking for that special person to fill the void of single doldrums.

  When Noah told Jamie about Harper, Jamie’s eyes widened and a smirk formed on her lips and crinkled her eyes with mirth. “Well, well you’ve been holding out on me. You like her don’t you?”

  Heat raced across his cheeks and turned his throat into a stutter tube. “Uh – uh yeah I guess so.”

  Jamie pressed her fingers to her lips. “Don’t worry your secret’s safe with me. Though your mom might have something to say when she finds out she didn’t get to approve her first. So when are you making your move?”

  Noah shrugged and huffed out a frustrated breath. “I want to make a move right now, but I’m afraid I’d be pushing it too fast. I don’t think a minute goes by where I’m not thinking of her. There’s something special about her that she doesn’t even recognize in herself and that makes her so appealing to me.”

  “Oh, man you’ve got it bad. Care to hear my thoughts on the subject?”

  “Sure.”

  “From what I understand about her, through the grapevine of small town gossip, is her ex-husband is a complete prick, and she’s won over that depressed giant goofball Ziggie. That’s two points in your favor, and I bet Grayson wouldn’t be with her tonight if he isn’t also smitten with her. Bottom line, my friend, you need to make your move, though be gentle she’s been hurt and needs your ear more than your…” Jamie winked, “well you know.”

  Noah groaned. “You started off making good points, but then had to go there, didn’t you?”

  “Sorry, I know you’re a stand-up guy, but I saw the sparkle in your eyes when you said her name. I bet all the thoughts hiding in your head about her aren’t PG.”

  Noah cupped his head in his hands. “You’re right, but most of my thoughts are clean. I wonder what she would say about what I’m doing. I long to hear her laugh – she has the most amazing laugh. And her eyes trap me every time I look into them.”

  Jamie reached over and patted his forearm. “I have one question for you.”

  “What’s that?”

  “What are you doing sitting here with your platonic friend instead of confessing these feelings to Harper?”

  “Jamie, you have a great point. Let’s get out of here.”

  After dropping Jamie off, Noah broke the speed limit to get to Harper’s, both dreading and excited about the prospect of seeing her.

  The porch light beckoned him as he drove down her long driveway. A warmth diffused his body.

  When she opened the door his breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t push words past frozen lips.

  She smiled and her eyes softened at the sight of him standing in her doorway. She raised a finger to her lips. “Shh, Grayson’s asleep on the couch.” She pulled back enough for him to finish coming
inside.

  Grayson and Ziggie lay curled together on the sofa, both sound asleep. One or the other issued soft snores, it was impossible to tell which because their heads were pushed together and they breathed in sync.

  Noah closed the door and tugged Harper closer to him. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Do you trust me?”

  She looked up at him with trust covered in a hint of confusion. Her brows knitted into a question and her eyes crinkled at the corners.

  He inhaled a deep cleansing breath then reached to loosen her hair from its entrapment. It fell in a soft wave as he unwound the last loop. His hands buried themselves at her nape and cradled her skull as his fingers worked through the silk ropes of her tresses.

  Her breath hitched in and out as his fingers worked their magic. He tilted her head back giving his lips unfettered access to rest upon her soft lips covered in strawberry lip balm.

  They both gasped as the first contact was made. Lightning bolts of pleasure shot through his mind as the kiss deepened as she returned it with instant heated fervor.

  He pulled back to look into her half-open eyes. He saw his own reflection in the blackness and a spark of fire that was sure to drive him mad if he didn’t get more.

  He leaned down unable to resist capturing her lips again. “I’ve waited since the moment I met you to do this. It’s even better than I expected.”

  She groaned into his mouth as his tongue gently parted her lips and plunged into the moist heat.

  Noah was lost the instant his lips met hers and knew there was no turning back from this fascinating intriguing woman who had captured his heart from the first moment they met.

  Seventeen

  Harper pulled back, her pulse pounded a wild beat of thunder in her veins. Her vision narrowed and her skin tingled in response to Noah’s touch. Unsteady breaths forced past her lips as she tried to find a balance to the unsteadiness of her legs. Her breath hitched from lungs both full and empty of oxygen.

  Noah trapped her against the wall slowing the shaking and preventing her falling to the floor with pleasure. He tipped her chin and looked into her eyes.