by Pamela Bauer
DENA KNEW she should have stopped him from leaving. She should have told him he was wrong. She wanted to understand exactly what he was going through with the kids. Yet she couldn’t.
Because she was afraid. If she dared to hope that she could have a happy family life with him, she would put herself in a position that she’d vowed never to be in again. A happy family was an illusion. All one had to do was look around. Broken families had become the norm. Parents divorced and children suffered. She’d lived that life, and she’d decided long ago that she’d never be the one responsible for putting another person into that risk category.
Long after Quinn was gone, she sat in her room thinking about her relationship with him. It had been far too intense. She’d almost convinced herself that he was her soul mate—that such a thing actually existed.
A knock on her door had her wondering if Quinn had come back. She hesitated answering, not sure she wanted to confront him a second time.
“Dena, are you home?” Krystal’s voice called out.
She got up from the bed and opened the door. The hairdresser looked pale and tired.
“I have to ask you something,” she said as she came into the room.
“Sure. Have a seat.”
Krystal didn’t sit down, however. “I left something in the bathroom and now it’s gone.”
Dena retrieved the early home pregnancy test kit from her desk. “Is this what you’re looking for?”
“Yeah, it is. Thanks,” she said, snatching it from her. “You shouldn’t take stuff out of the bathroom that doesn’t belong to you.”
“I didn’t. Quinn did.”
She gulped. “He knows, too?”
“No one knows anything. Someone left a pregnancy test kit in our bathroom. Other people use that bathroom.”
She eyed her steadily. “I don’t suppose there’s any point in me trying to tell you that a friend of mine came over and took the test, then left?”
“If that’s what you say happened, I’ll believe you.” She held her gaze, her eyes assuring her that she had her trust.
Krystal sighed and sat down on Dena’s desk chair. “I wish I could say this belongs to a friend,” she said, waving the box in midair. “I never thought I’d be in this situation.”
Dena could have pointed out that she didn’t think many single women did, but remained silent. Krystal needed her to listen, not comment.
“I know people think that I’m having sex with all the guys I date, but the truth is I’ve had sex only once in the past six months. Once! And look what happened!” she cried out in frustration.
“This may be a really dumb question, but did you use birth control?”
“Yes! So let this be a lesson to you.” She hung her head in her hands. “Oh, God, I can just hear my mother saying, ‘Abstinence is the only one-hundred-percent method of birth control.’”
“Well, it’s not the method you used, so I guess there’s no point in thinking about it now, is there?” Dena stated practically. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”
“No.” The answer came quickly and with a plea for help. “I can’t get past the shock that I’m pregnant.”
“Could it be an error?” Dena asked, wanting to give Krystal hope. “I mean, aren’t there situations where you could get a false positive?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t been to a doctor, but I went on the Internet to see what the symptoms for early pregnancy are, and I have almost all of them.” She groaned. “I’m afraid that, ready or not, I’m going to have a baby.”
“What about the father? Have you told him?”
“Oh, good grief, no! I can’t…not yet. I want to see my gynecologist first before I even think about telling him. And, of course, I need to get my emotions under control.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Just my friend, Shannon. And you and Quinn. You don’t think he’ll say anything to Leonie, will he?”
“No, why would he? He has enough on his mind with the kids. I really don’t think he’s even given this a second thought.”
“I hope not. It’s going to be really hard to have to tell Leonie.”
“She’ll be her usual sweet, understanding self,” Dena stated with confidence.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Krystal said pensively. “I’d better get back to my room. My tummy’s not feeling right.” She got up to leave.
“Krystal, if there’s anything I can do to help you, please let me know.”
She nodded gratefully. “I will, but I doubt there’s anything anyone can do.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WHEN DENA HAD STARTED seeing Quinn, she hadn’t given much thought as to what it would be like when their relationship ended and they still were neighbors. Partly because in the other places she’d lived, she’d always managed to stay detached from the tenants in her building. The other reason was that she’d been swept off her feet and had ignored logic when it came to being with Quinn.
Living at 14 Valentine Place, however, wasn’t the same as living in a large apartment complex where no one knew much about anyone else except for the names and numbers on their mailboxes. Krystal had witnessed Quinn’s declaration of love, and Sara had told Leonie that she and Quinn were no longer seeing each other.
That’s why Dena started avoiding the kitchen, not wanting to talk to either of them about the breakup. Although she’d run into Krystal in the hallway and she’d been friendly, Dena noticed a coolness about her that hadn’t been there previously. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her pregnancy or if it was because she thought Dena had been a total idiot when it came to Quinn.
Whatever her reasons, Dena found the possibility of running into Leonie or Krystal an uncomfortable one. Soon she started feeling like a prisoner in her own apartment. It didn’t help that July brought warmer weather, and Quinn, Sara and Kevin were outdoors more often. It wasn’t unusual for them to be in the yard when she came home from work. That’s why Dena often didn’t return home until after dark, although even that didn’t guarantee they’d be inside. One night she’d found the three of them sitting on the back porch steps watching for fireflies.
When Lisa called to invite her for dinner one evening, she gladly accepted the invitation. She hadn’t realized just how trapped she was feeling until she drove up to the house and saw her brother and his kids in the backyard. Ryan was at the grill on the wooden patio, and Bethany sat with Luke in the sandbox. As soon as Dena climbed out of the car, Jeremy came flying out of the house.
“Hey, Aunt Dena, it’s not true, is it? Quinn’s not really going to quit, is he?” His eyes begged her to tell him it wasn’t so.
“What makes you think he is?” she asked, wondering if Quinn had already made the official announcement.
“Because everyone’s talking about it. One of the reporters said he heard it from a reliable source.”
She didn’t want to lie to her nephew, yet she didn’t feel she should be talking about Quinn’s professional life, either. “That source wasn’t me,” she told him.
“Then you don’t think he is going to retire?”
Ryan closed the lid on the grill with a clang. “Jeremy, you shouldn’t even be asking your aunt that question. That’s taking advantage of her relationship with Quinn.” He turned to Dena and said, “Hi, sis. Welcome to the Bailey bunch.”
Because the windows were open, Lisa had heard Jeremy’s questions and stuck her head out the back door. “Jeremy, I could use your help in here.”
Dena quickly spoke up. “I’ll help you.”
“No, you won’t. You’ll take a chair and visit with your brother. You’re a guest. Besides, it’s Jeremy’s week for kitchen chores,” Lisa said, beckoning her son to come.
Dena would have protested, but her brother stood, shaking his head and waving a giant pair of tongs back and forth. “You don’t want to upset the chores rotation or I’ll never hear the end of it.” He grinned, then asked, “So is Quinn going to retire?�
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She grimaced. “Can we not talk about him?”
“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” His brows lifted knowingly. “Want a margarita? I made a pitcher of them for dinner. I thought they’d go good with this Santa Fe chicken I’m cooking.”
“I’ll wait. Thanks.” She sank down onto one of the padded patio chairs and sighed.
“Rough day at work?”
“They’re all rough.”
“I thought Lisa said you’d worked on a project that won some advertising award.”
“Yeah, I did.”
He chuckled. “You don’t sound very excited about it.”
She shook her head. “I am…or at least I was. I thought my idea was a stroke of genius. Unfortunately, designers don’t get the credit for their brilliant moments. The art director does.”
“Well, that sucks.”
She shrugged. “It’s just the way it is.”
“Certainly the fact that you did the work will help when it comes time to getting that promotion you want.”
“At one time I thought it would, but now I’m not so sure. Unfortunately that sound you hear when you step off the elevator and walk into the agency isn’t the air-conditioning unit but all the sucking up that’s going on.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “You know I’ve never been very good at sucking up.”
“Me, neither. Guess we didn’t take after Dad as much as he hoped we would, did we?”
She didn’t respond, but simply sat there in the shade, content to relax. She willed her mind to go blank, not to think about work or Quinn. She focused on the smell of the chicken grilling and thought about how nice it was to be a guest at someone’s dinner table. She’d been spending far too many nights alone with a sandwich.
Then Ryan said, “Speaking of Dad…he called today with some interesting news.” That brought her head up with a jerk. “He’s planning to move to Arizona.”
“Dad in Arizona?” It seemed almost too preposterous to be true. “What happened? Did the bank open a branch there?”
Ryan shook his head. “No, he says he’s retiring.”
“I don’t believe it.” She stared at him, then narrowed her eyes. “He’s not sick, is he?”
“No, he’s getting married.”
“Married?” That brought her to her feet. “No way! He doesn’t even date. He told me he doesn’t have time for a personal life.”
“I know. He’s told me the same thing a hundred times, but there definitely is a fiancée in the picture.”
“Well, someone should warn that poor woman. The marriage will never last. He’s never home.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice.
“Didn’t you hear me? I said he’s giving up his job for her.”
“Then he must be sick. Maybe he has cancer…or Parkinson’s disease or something. There’s got to be another reason. You know Dad. He would never just quit his job.”
“It could be that he finally figured out that it’s not the most important thing in his life,” Ryan suggested. “Maybe he’s lonely.”
She lifted one brow. “Yeah, right.”
He didn’t respond to her sarcasm, but simply said, “You should call him.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I will.”
“I mean it, Dena. I know the two of you haven’t been getting along very well lately, but maybe this is a good time for you to go visit him.”
“I’ll call, but I’m not going to Iowa. I don’t have the time,” she told him.
He eyed her critically. “You’re a lot more like him than you want to admit.”
“Maybe that’s why we don’t get along,” she said with a weak smile.
He shook his head. “That is what I don’t understand. You were always the apple of his eye,” he said wistfully. “He loved to brag about your good grades in school and all your achievements. When you landed that marketing job straight out of college he practically burst with pride.”
“Yes, and then when I left marketing to do graphic design he nearly exploded with anger,” she reminded him.
“Is that why you’re not close to him anymore?”
“Ryan, I was never close to him. He may have shown up at the awards programs at school and talked about my accomplishments with all of his friends at the bank, but he never spent any time with me. You probably didn’t realize that because you left as soon as you graduated from high school and moved here.”
“Things were a bit strained between me and Dad for a while. I didn’t live up to his expectations of me,” he admitted.
“Well, join the club,” she stated soberly. “I’m done trying to please him.”
“Are you?”
“Yes.”
He shot her a dubious look, which only annoyed her. What did he think? That she still needed her father’s approval? Certainly her behavior the past few years had proven she didn’t.
“How’s that chicken coming?” Lisa called out through the window.
Ryan lifted the grill cover. “Give me about ten more minutes,” he called back to her, using the giant tongs to turn the pieces. To Dena he said, “Dad’s a good guy.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “And when did you develop such fond feelings for him? If I recall, you moved here to get away from him.”
He used the tongs to point at Bethany and Luke, who played in the sandbox. “They’re the reason. Becoming a parent helped me to understand him. Someday you’ll see what I’m talking about.”
“When I become a parent, you mean.”
He nodded. “It’s amazing how it can put your relationship with your own parents into perspective. You’ll see.”
“If I ever have children,” she added.
“You will. Just because Quinn isn’t the right guy for you, doesn’t mean you won’t meet someone who is.” He gave her a reassuring pat on the arm.
Dena wondered what he’d say if she told him that the reason Quinn wasn’t the right guy was because he already had children. What would his opinion be of her if she said she wasn’t ready to be a mother, that she wasn’t even ready to think of making a commitment to another person?
Would he understand or would he think that she was like their mother—self-centered and cold. It was a risk she couldn’t take. She couldn’t bear for Ryan to look at her as if she were defective because she wasn’t good enough to be a mother.
So she didn’t tell him the real reason she and Quinn had gone their separate ways. Neither Lisa nor Ryan asked about him again that evening. They knew she didn’t want to talk about her feelings for Quinn.
She was a private person. She always had been and she didn’t think it was ever going to change, which only made her wonder if she would ever have what Lisa and Ryan had together. They had a family, they had each other, and they were happy.
“Yes, but you have your work,” she told herself as she drove home that night. And as she climbed into bed, the last thing she saw was Quinn’s bobblehead doll staring at her. Yes, she had her work.
THE FOLLOWING EVENING when Dena arrived home from work she saw the Apartment For Rent sign up on the front lawn. Someone was moving. The question was, who? She had a sinking feeling in her stomach that she already knew the answer.
As she walked around to the side entrance she saw her landlady on her knees next to the flower garden. “Leonie, why is there a For Rent sign on the front lawn?” she asked after they’d exchanged greetings.
Her landlady pulled a clump of weeds from the soil and tossed them onto the small pile at her side. “Quinn bought a house over in Highland Park. He’s moving out at the end of the week.”
“So soon?” The words were out before she could stop them.
“He was lucky. The house was vacant and he can move right in.”
“I see,” Dena said absently, feeling as though someone had just taken the wind out of her sails, which was ridiculous. For weeks she’d been tiptoeing around the house doing everything she could to avoid the man, and now that she was no longer going to have
to worry about bumping into him in the hallway, she felt a bit lost.
“It’s a lovely place,” Leonie told her. “Lots of room for the kids to play, a park nearby, and the school bus stops right around the corner. Perfect for a man with a family.” She sat back on her heels and wiped her brow. “I hate to see Quinn go, but it’s time he moved on.”
Dena wondered if the words were meant for her, as well. “Moving on can be difficult.”
“Yes, it can.” She pulled off her gardening gloves and got to her feet. “Do you like to garden, Dena?”
“I haven’t really ever had an opportunity to have one,” she answered.
“You should try it sometime. I find it very therapeutic. When I’ve had a stressful day I come out here. I think of the weeds as my problems. With every jerk of my hand I get rid of one.” She pointed to the small pile at her feet. “See what I mean? My worries are all down there.”
Dena glanced at the patch of daisies and day lilies stretching alongside the house. “I’d need a bigger garden than that.”
“You have a lot of problems, do you?”
Dena sighed. “If only pulling a few weeds could get rid of them.”
“Do you want to talk about them? I have my landlady hat on if you need an ear,” Leonie offered.
Dena mentally debated whether or not to accept her offer. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to someone like Leonie, someone who truly did understand romance. On the other hand, she knew that Leonie treated Quinn like a son. Could she be objective when it came to their relationship?
When she didn’t answer right away, Leonie asked, “Or maybe you would rather I wear my romance coach hat?”
Dena wasn’t sure what it was, but something about the way Leonie looked at her had her blurting out, “I’m in love with Quinn.”
Leonie smiled in understanding. “I figured as much. So what’s the problem?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Love usually is.”
Again Dena had the urge to confide in her, but found it extremely difficult to admit to her landlady what she didn’t want anyone else to know. “Sara’s probably told you what happened.”