Don't You Want Me

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Don't You Want Me Page 7

by Liam Livings


  This, Tony was ashamed to say, was something he’d been thinking about for most of the week. Between being up to his eyes in emails and meetings, ever since Nick had suggested the party, he’d been thinking how it would be an opportunity for more of the kisses they’d enjoyed before. The kisses they’d not talked about since…since—well, the night of the mortification of sex.

  “Keep it casual, I think,” Tony said, trying to keep a nonchalant tone to his voice. “Haven’t thought about it much. I mean, sex is sex, is fun is fun, so…”

  Soon after, Kieran had ended the call, and now Tony was waiting at home for Nick to collect him to go to the party.

  Standing in front of the mirror, he suddenly had a crisis of confidence about what he was wearing. Standard eighties new romantic outfit of black velvet trousers, white ruffled shirt, and thin, red leather tie, and he jangled with silver bracelets, necklaces and rings as he moved, posing in front of the mirror.

  “Fuck it,” he said to his reflection. I am what I am, and if he doesn’t want to be friends with me then it’s his fucking loss. He’s only a colleague, after all.

  The doorbell rang, and Tony ran downstairs to answer it, telling his parents in the living room to keep quiet and not comment on his new friend.

  Nick, in light-blue skinny jeans, leather boots and a baggy pink vest with a black leather waistcoat thrown over for effect, stood in the living room, waving politely to Tony’s parents while Tony introduced everyone.

  Nick seemed to be channelling Pete Doherty, heroin chic, and Tony had never wanted more to be pushed against a wall while being fucked than now. By Nick.

  Damn. Bang goes the nonchalant, only friendly colleagues idea.

  “Where is the house party?” Tony’s mum asked Nick.

  He told her then made polite conversation about how he’d met the friend in question before looking around the living room and saying, “I like how you’ve decorated. Matching but eclectic. I take it you didn’t go down Ikea for it all?” He was thumbing the nearest length of tie-dyed purple curtain.

  “Homemade,” she replied, beaming.

  “I designed ours, in my last place. With—” He cut himself short. “It’s not worth doing much where I am now. Temporary.” Nick shrugged, looking to Tony for reassurance.

  “Come on, then,” Tony said, waving to his parents and guiding Nick from the room. Once safely in Nick’s car, Tony said, “Creep.”

  Nick smirked. “I always get on well with parents. I give good small talk.” Starting the engine, he turned to Tony with a wink.

  “Did you really design all the interior of your last place, with…the ex?”

  “I don’t lie, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Nick pulled out into the traffic, heading in the direction of the house party.

  ***

  Arriving at the house, Nick hugged Laura and gestured to Tony, saying, “My colleague Tony. He’s sort of my mentor, and he’s showing me the ropes, as they say…” Nick smiled and laughed too loudly at his own non-joke. What an awful way to introduce someone he was friends with and whom he’d slept with…twice, was it?

  “Are you experienced with the ropes?” Laura asked.

  “In ways you couldn’t imagine,” Tony replied, winking.

  “Nice to see he’s being looked after.”

  In more ways than we can discuss now, Nick thought—remembering he’d had a rather detailed discussion with Laura some months ago about fancying Tony, when he thought there would be no chance of Tony and Laura ever meeting. And now, there they were, standing in the same kitchen, at the same party.

  Brilliant!

  Nick shot Laura a look that said don’t even think about mentioning anything to him.

  She squeezed past, grabbed some glasses and bottles from the kitchen, and then, as she walked past them again, said she’d catch them later.

  “Having a good time?” Nick asked Tony as he shoved a handful of crisps into his mouth.

  Chewing, pointing to his mouth, Tony managed to swallow and said, “I can’t remember the last time I went to a house party. Used to go to them all the time, then they sort of died out, I suppose.”

  “When you’re bored, let me know, and we’ll go.” Nick felt Tony was being more than generous by just being here.

  “You’re driving, I’m drinking. I’ll be fine.” Tony filled his glass with more wine and left the room.

  Nick spoke to some other people about why they’d moved to the area, how they’d met Laura and how he originally knew her. They moved on to how much cheaper it was living up north than the south, and Nick told them about the conference he’d recently attended.

  “What was it about?” a man called Phil asked.

  “Social working. Challenges, future, stuff like that.”

  “Three days of that in London? Rather you than me.” Phil sighed in obvious disapproval.

  “Four days, actually. Good job it was me, then. I had a great time. There was this mess-up with the hotel rooms, actually…” and he went on to describe how he’d shared a room with his colleague for the whole time.

  Grimacing, Phil said, “I’d have gone home. Sharing a room with another bloke? Nope. Never. What if he touched me? I’m straight. Not that I mind about gays, but I am straight. As a die.” He shook his head in emphasis in case anyone didn’t get his rather blunt point.

  “Maybe I’m more forgiving. And adaptable. You have to be in social work.” Turning to Phil, who was looking at his phone, Nick said, “Don’t you have conferences in your line of work?”

  “IT engineering. I don’t go. Waste of time. You can read it all on the internet anyway.” Looking around for a moment, Phil asked, “Where’s your boyfriend? I saw him earlier—he might be looking for you.”

  Letting the words settle for a moment, Nick realised who Phil meant. “Tony’s not my boyfriend. He’s actually the colleague who I shared with.”

  “Oh!” Phil stared, and a few others made comments Nick couldn’t hear. “I assumed.”

  “I’m going to see where he’s got to. Excuse me.”

  ***

  Tony, unable to take part in the drinking games for fear of making a total idiot of himself with strangers and showing Nick up, assumed the role of judge between two men playing a card drinking game. As he dealt another hand, he caught sight of Nick walking into the room, obviously searching for him.

  “All right?” Tony asked.

  “Checking you aren’t bored. But I can see you’re fine.” Nick laughed. “I’ve been explaining that we’re not a couple. Ridiculous thing to assume.” He rolled his eyes.

  “Yeah, ridiculous,” Tony echoed, wondering if it really was that ridiculous. “She’s nice, your friend Laura. She was telling me all about you.” Including how much Nick had loved his ex, how badly he’d been hurt, and how he was a total romantic at heart and would always be wanting a boyfriend, despite what Nick had told Tony more than once. Laura’s words had comforted Tony—along with the drinks and the dancing and then judging the drinking competitions.

  “What did she tell you about me?” Nick asked, his eyes widening.

  “Nothing.” Tony looked at his watch, hoping Nick would take the hint.

  “Want to go?”

  “No, fine here. It’s… If you wanted to… I mean, you’ve probably not seen much of Laura yet. I’ve been hogging her.” Getting as much info out of her about Nick as he could.

  “Let’s go,” Nick said without even a moment’s pause. “I’ll say goodbye to Laura and meet you in the hallway.”

  As Tony waved goodbye to the people he’d been with, he considered how quickly Nick had agreed to leave. And on a Saturday night too. Tony was exhausted and looking forward to his own bed again. Being thirty-something was a million miles away from being twenty-something. The years of staying up all night then rolling into lectures on two hours’ sleep were well behind him, but he hadn’t expected Nick to want to leave so soon. In fact, he’d half expected he’d have to make his own way home…somehow
.

  “Ready?” Nick grabbed his coat in the hallway where Tony had been pacing for a short while.

  Tony nodded and put on his coat as they walked to the car. Yawning, he put his seat belt on and waited for Nick to start the engine.

  “I…” Nick began. “You didn’t have to come tonight. I know you must have seen enough of me at work. So thanks for coming. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks.” He held Tony’s hand, which was resting on his lap, and squeezed it.

  Tony sensed Nick wasn’t going to be starting the engine anytime soon.

  “Been on the dating apps?” Nick asked, apropos of nothing in particular. They’d not discussed it since Tony had come back from Kieran’s birthday weekend, when he and Nick had both agreed to step away from the whole dating fandango.

  Tony shook his head. “Celibate. Practically,” he replied with a glint in his eye at the knowledge of what that referred to.

  “Practically.” Nick leaned forward, staring into Tony’s eyes. He wanted this as much as Tony did.

  Before Tony could do anything about it, Nick was grabbing him through his trousers. Not that Tony particularly wanted to stop Nick from doing this. This—or something similar—had been in Tony’s fantasies ever since the hotel room.

  Taking his lead, Tony squeezed Nick’s straining jeans, trying to undo his flies but realising they were buttons, which were rather challenging to do from a sitting position. Nick lifted his bottom and thrust his groin towards Tony so he could undo the jeans.

  Delighted at reaching the main prize, Tony put both hands around Nick’s erection and began to pull, while at the same time Nick was scrabbling with Tony’s flies until finally, deliciously, he unzipped them, letting Tony free of his underwear.

  After a few moments of kissing and grabbing and pulling at each other, Tony said breathlessly, “Shall we go somewhere more comfortable?”

  “Mine? I can’t face your parents if we’re about to fuck upstairs.” Nick giggled.

  “I knew it was all an act.” Tony smirked.

  “A good one, though,” Nick said, and they both tucked themselves and their clothes back in before Nick drove them to his place.

  ***

  Nick opened the door, showing Tony in first. In the hallway, he pushed Tony against the wall, kissing him, pressing against him, enjoying the feel of Tony’s excitement pushing against his own.

  Grabbing Tony’s hand, Nick led him upstairs and into his room, where they removed their own clothes until both were standing naked next to the bed. Nick kissed him and pushed him backwards onto the bed, Nick on top of Tony as they continued snogging.

  After some seriously sexy frottage, during which Nick thought he’d lose it and would come too quickly, Tony lifted his legs and wrapped them around Nick’s back, moving downwards so Nick’s erection was now touching Tony’s hole.

  Tony whimpered as Nick’s cock rubbed against him, slick with pre-come and spit.

  Nick wasn’t one to talk much during sex, preferring instead to let his eyes and body do the talking. Nodding, and taking Tony’s nods as a yes too, Nick reached into the bedside cabinet and was soon wearing the lubed condom. He squirted slick onto his hand, rubbed it against Tony’s arse.

  Tony spread his legs, and a look of wanton desire clouded his face as his eyes closed partly.

  Kneeling on the bed, Nick stayed still and motioned for Tony to move towards him and edge himself onto Nick’s straining cock.

  Tony did as Nick asked, his eyes widening in delight as he opened and pushed forwards, down onto Nick’s hard-on until it was all the way in.

  Balls deep.

  Tony’s legs rested on Nick’s shoulders and he let out a gasp of delight, and Nick, seeing how much Tony was enjoying it, almost came in excitement but managed to focus, to concentrate, to hold himself back.

  They continued in a rhythm as Tony pulled Nick into him and Nick thrust deeper, sometimes holding his body upright and staring at Tony. Other times, when he thought he was too tired—being a top was exhausting, he remembered now—he lay above Tony with his head to the side of Tony’s and continued thrusting slower as he gathered his breath.

  Tony squeezed his buttocks, his hands then stroking Nick’s back and he tightened those muscles, inside himself.

  Nick thought his head would explode off his shoulders as his erection was squeezed by Tony, deep inside.

  When he didn’t think he could hold off any longer, Nick nodded, as did Tony, and he pulled out, removed the condom and wanked himself at the same time as Tony did. Staring into each other’s eyes, grinning, a few short moments later, they were both coming on Tony’s chest in long white ropes. Nick was lying exhausted on top of Tony, and Tony was stroking Nick’s hair, and it was over in a panting, sweaty, come-smelling heap.

  A short while later, Nick was in the shower cleaning up when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

  “Who is it?” Nick grinned to himself.

  “Me. Can I come in?”

  Not able to find a reason why he couldn’t share a shower with a man he’d just been inside, Nick told him to come in, and soon Tony was in the shower too, and Nick was soaping Tony’s back.

  As the water rinsed off the soap and sex, Nick really wanted to kiss Tony’s clean skin, but he held back. More than that, staring at the pert behind and smelling him, he wanted to lean forward the delicious few inches between them, press himself in between Tony’s arse cheeks and pick up where they’d left off. But again, he held back.

  “Going to do me?” Nick asked, handing Tony the shower gel.

  “I can if you want, but I don’t. Not usually. I have. But I prefer, you know. How we did.” Tony shrugged and smiled nervously.

  “I meant wash me.”

  “Oh!” Tony squeezed a generous amount of gel onto his hand and began rubbing it into Nick’s hairy chest in silence, shaking his head.

  After dressing awkwardly and without speaking—which Nick thought odd after what they’d done together—they stood in the kitchen, and Nick offered Tony a drink.

  Tony waved the drink away. “I’d better get home.”

  “Will they worry? Your parents?”

  “Yes?”

  It sounded like a question rather than a statement, Nick thought. Stay, he wanted to say. Come back to my bed and let’s cuddle all night long, he really wanted to add. But he didn’t. Nick held back. Because he didn’t want a boyfriend. Nick didn’t want to jump into a long-term commitment, having extricated himself from another. And neither did Tony. They were both meant to be taking a break from dating. Well, Nick thought as he walked them to the car in silence, this certainly wasn’t dating. This was whatever you call a one-off that isn’t a boyfriend.

  The silence continued as they drove to Tony’s house, where he thanked Nick for a lovely evening.

  “All of it,” Tony said, avoiding any mention of what they’d done. “I enjoyed it.”

  Like he hadn’t seen for himself with Tony writhing around underneath him while Nick thrust deeply into Tony’s body, enjoying the look on Tony’s face, the feeling of his body tight around his own, and the release it provided at the end.

  Not dating. Definitely not dating.

  At the point when Nick thought Tony would kiss him, Tony waved goodbye and left the car.

  Watching him walk to his front door, Nick wasn’t sure what that had been about. The friendly goodbye after the groping in the car and the fucking in his house. Why?

  *

  The next day, Nick called Laura to ask how she felt the party had gone and if she had a hangover. After saying how pleased she’d been at how many people had turned up and that her hangover would be improved by a fried breakfast, Laura said, “I thought you were off men. No dating pending the ex.”

  “True.” Nick knew where this would go.

  “So what’s with Tony?” Without waiting for an answer, she went on, “He really likes you, by the way.”

  “How do you know?”

  “He didn’t say. Why would he? B
ut I can tell.”

  “How?” For some reason, Nick wasn’t sure why, he needed to know where he and Tony were heading. More of the same, he could probably deal with, but if it became more serious, definitely no. That was edging towards boyfriend territory, and he wanted to avoid that if at all possible.

  “Tell me I’m wrong,” Laura said.

  “Tell me how you know.”

  “The way he looks at you. The way he talks about you. The way he came last night. Friends? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.” She laughed.

  “True. Friends, I mean.”

  “You left early,” she said.

  “He was tired.”

  “I thought you were the tired one.”

  “Whatever, one of us was tired, so we went.” And fucked in my bed. That had somehow slipped his mind.

  “Did you drop him straight home?” Her tone told him she knew the answer to that one.

  “Have you ever had a friend with benefits?” Nick asked, having decided that was what he and Tony were at the moment. It felt more than fuck buddies, which implied not seeing each other outside of the bedroom. And they were definitely friends.

  “Yeah,” Laura answered. “I ended up going out with him for three years at uni.”

  “Right.” Nick swallowed slowly. He had quite a lot to think about before he next saw Tony, given neither of them had discussed this—whatever this was—and both had agreed they weren’t interested in a relationship, regardless of who it was with, even if it so happened to be each other.

  “Anything to share with me, Nick?”

  “Maybe later. Much later.” He sighed. “Gotta go. Thanks for the party. Speak soon.”

  “Plans for the rest of the day?” Laura asked brightly.

  “Nursing my hangover and doing something mindless. I might even tackle the weeds and lawn out the back.”

  “Serious!”

  “Yep,” and he ended the call before spending the rest of Sunday throwing himself into digging out what he thought were weeds from where he assumed had once been flower beds and mowing what would have at some point been a lawn, until one of his housemates returned to find him in the garden.

 

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