by Lia Davis
“Do you masturbate with my underwear?”
“Yes.” He started to pull away. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, I want you to let me watch.” She couldn’t believe she said it, but one of them had to be brave now, and maybe it was her turn. He’d been brave enough. Admitting she wanted to watch him do something intimate wasn’t anywhere near putting herself between him and harm.
Or maybe it was. Maybe it was putting herself between him and the harm he wanted to do to himself in his head.
She had a feeling that this was only the beginning of things in his head. These were dark things, but they were things he was ashamed of nonetheless. Charlotte wondered just how deep the rabbit hole went.
“I want to watch, too. I want to watch you and Vance together.”
“Vance told me he kissed you.”
“I should’ve known he wouldn’t let that be our secret. He’d use it to get what he wanted.”
“Why do you need to keep it secret? The fantasy that I’ve been replaying in my head over and over again is either you and Vance, or the three of us.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? Why should I be ashamed of what I want? Don’t you want it, too?”
“I want it too much. Bad things have always happened when I get what I want.”
Her heart broke for him all over again.
“You still haven’t told me about the darkness. I’m sitting here hot and bothered, but I know we haven’t gotten to the heart of this. Let it out, Jace.”
“I just can’t. I thought I could. All these years of therapy haven’t made me a human being. I’m almost a blank switch plate inside. There’s hate. There’s rage. There’s desire.”
“There’s love,” she said, even though she knew it was kind of a lie, because he hated himself. While he hated himself, he couldn’t really love anyone.
“Is there? I’m glad you see it, because I don’t.”
“Tell me,” she pushed again. “Tell me why you’re afraid of this. Of yourself.”
“Because I want you. I want Vance. And I want to hurt him for making me feel these things. Making me want.”
“I made you feel and want, too, didn’t I? So why don’t you want to hurt me? Unless you’re just afraid to tell me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I do. I’m dangerous, Charlotte. This is dangerous.”
“Or it could be the best thing that ever happened to us.”
“Or he could be playing with us. The bet—”
“The bet is next than nothing to him. Huntington Dane is an asshole. Everyone knows that.”
“Yes, but he took the bet, didn’t he?”
“Did you ever wonder if maybe Vance might have some of these same feelings or have you painted him with the bored billionaire brush?”
“He painted himself with that one all on his own.”
“He seems genuine.”
“That’s the worst part,” he cried.
“Yet, he said you agreed to go tonight.”
“Madness.”
“Maybe, but I want you to go. I want us to be an us.”
“I’m afraid of hurting you, Charlotte. I’m afraid you’re going to hurt me.”
“I can’t promise that I won’t. Just like you can’t promise the same. We’ll have to trust each other, but Jace, I’ve already trusted you with my life. My heart shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“Maybe I should just fuck you here on the floor. I should do every goddamn depraved thing to you in the real that I’ve done in my head. Then maybe you’d get over this. You wouldn’t want me.”
She shivered. “Is that what you want to do? Take me, then. Throw me down and do whatever you want to me. I’ll let you. I’ll fucking love it.”
“Don’t say that.” He sounded tortured.
“Why not? You know, maybe you’re the one who needs to “get over this.” You’ve admitted you’ve got me built up into some kind of ideal. I’ll never live up to that.”
“I should cancel tonight. Let you two go out alone.”
“No. Don’t you dare. You said you’d come. So come.” She leaned back against him now. “And you have my permission to think about me saying that next time you jerk off.”
“Goddamn it, Charlotte.” The words were torn from him in a strangled cough.
“What? Let’s go. I have to get ready and so do you.”
“Can you look at me in the face and say that?”
She knew he didn’t mean the part about getting ready. “Of course I can.”
“Then do it.”
Charlotte turned around to face him and found his usual stony mask was not in place. He was so vulnerable. The hope, the fear, the pain was so bright in his eyes, it hurt her to look at him. But damn it, she had to pony up. If she waited too long to speak, he’d think it anything but what it was.
She leaned forward and braced her hands on his shoulders. She’d rather have cupped his face, but he didn’t like to be touched like that. He wouldn’t like what she did next either, but this one was going to happen. She straddled his lap and pressed herself as close to him as she could get.
His cock was hard and pressed up against her cleft. Even with two layers of denim separating them, it was incredibly intimate and oh-so hot.
“Can you feel that?” she asked. “So much heat.”
His hands went to her hips, his lips parted as he drew a shaking breath.
“You wanted to hear it again. Here it is. I give you my permission to fantasize about doing anything you want to me. If you want to jack off with my silk panties, I want you to. If you want to think about me demanding you come, do it. If you want to watch me with Vance, I’ll do it. Not just for you, but for me, too. For the three of us. You think I don’t know how dark you are, how ugly on the inside?” She leaned close to his lips. “I was there when you gutted your father with a fishing knife while your skin was falling off. I saw that. Don’t think I haven’t seen your darkness.”
His fingers tightened almost painfully and it made her gasp, but not with fear. With desire.
“Maybe I’m sick too, because I have to push this hard and this far to get this reaction. It’s a rush like nothing else.”
“You’re definitely sick,” he said. “You really do want this.”
“I really wanted it in my bedroom.”
“I didn’t believe it. I could’ve been any tool.”
“Mm-hmm.” She rolled her hips against him and laughed. “Yeah, be my tool.”
“How can you laugh at a time like this?”
“I think you should always be able to laugh.” She bent toward him. “Doesn’t all of this, laughing included, feel good? Doesn’t it feel right?”
“You’re saying that while looking at my face.” As if that was answer enough all on its own.
“I am. As should anyone.” She slowly reached for his hair and pushed it back out of his face. “That’s better.”
“You’re the devil.”
“Maybe.” She leaned closer. “Wear your hair like this for us tonight. Please?”
“I don’t want to be on display.”
“Why? You want to put me on display. You want to watch Vance do things to me. The least you can do is let us both look at what we want to see.”
Chapter Seven
Charlotte
They went to a sushi place. Low key, bar style service. They all sat on one bench, with Jace on one side of her and Vance on the other.
It was as if the moment in the living room hadn’t happened and he was back to being surly and pissed off about his hard on.
She guessed that was just his defense mechanism.
But he’d worn his hair pulled back out of his face and the effect was stunning. Charlotte had to remind herself not to stare. That had been what he was worried about, being on display. She loved that she could see his eyes.
The hard, defined line of his square jaw. Even his scars. She liked looking at them, because they were his. It was his face,
no matter what had happened to it. No matter how it had been twisted. It was him, and she liked to look at him.
“Trust me when I say you’ve never had a California roll quite like this one,” Vance said, offering it to her with his fingers.
She reached up to take it, but he said, “Open your mouth.”
Charlotte opened her mouth and he placed the mini roll on her tongue. His fingers brushed her lips and made her shiver. She couldn’t even taste the roll.
“I think you need another.”
“I think Jace needs to try it,” she said.
“No, I’ll watch you.”
She put her hand on Jace’s thigh, even as she turned to let Vance feed her. It occurred to her that next time, maybe Jace should be in the middle. He should be the one receiving all the attention. Right now, it was her. She loved it, but maybe he needed it, too.
“Next time, we should try that restaurant where we all eat in the dark. That could be... interesting,” Vance said, casting a sly glance toward Jace.
“I’d be game,” Jace said.
“If you don’t like sushi, we could’ve gone somewhere else,” Vance offered.
“I like sushi fine. This is fucking weird, guys. You keep asking me if I’m okay. If I’m having fun. If I want to eat out of your hand like some trained fucking monkey...”
She laughed. “It’s a date, Jace.”
“I’ve never been on one.”
“Seriously?” Vance said. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you a virgin?”
“Fuck no,” Jace answered. “I know how Craigslist works. There are a surprising amount of women who like scarred and ugly.”
“I don’t know if someone forgot to tell you, but you’re not ugly,” Vance’s regard was intense. “Call me a shallow asshole if you want, but I don’t date ugly.”
“I’m no Prince Charming.”
“There’s only room for one prince, if we’re being honest. That’s me.” He grinned. “Charlotte is our lady fair. You’re our dark knight, and our wizard. It’s your alchemy that makes all of this work.”
He wasn’t wrong.
“Pretty words, but when you come down to it, they’re only hot air.”
“We mustn’t forget surly. Dark knights, though brave and loyal, are surly,” Charlotte teased.
Jace rolled his eyes. “Mustn’t forget it, no.”
“But brave, dark knights have to eat. As your prince commands.” Vance held out the California roll for him.
Jace met her eyes, as if to ask if he should take the food from Vance’s fingers.
She leaned back to make room for him to lean over.
He put his hand on her thigh and leaned toward Vance, who dropped the roll on his tongue, the same as he’d done for her. Something about the act was incredibly sensual. Her breath caught.
“I think I’d like to try what’s on your plate, Jace.”
“Are you sure? It’s wasabi squid.”
Vance arched a brow. “I think I’ve already shown I like strong and exotic.”
Her mouth went dry.
Jace offered him a piece with his fingers, just as Vance had done. The Brat Prince leaned over and took not only the squid, but Jace’s scarred fingers into his mouth. Jace’s eyes darkened and the expression on his face was all intensity and heat.
Her clit was literally going to explode at this rate.
“You shouldn’t make offers, you highness, that you don’t intend to keep.”
“Anytime, anywhere, Jace.”
She gulped.
“Do you like that?” Vance said to her.
“Very much.” She bit her lip. “More than it feels like I should.”
Vance was against her ear. “Want to watch me suck his cock? I like to wait for the second date for that, but I’ll make an exception in this case. If you’ll suck it with me.”
She gasped out loud at his words.
“But we should finish our food first,” he said to Jace.
“What did you tell her?”
“Why don’t you tell him, Charlotte? Whisper it in his ear for me.”
“Okay.” She could barely think, let alone string together a coherent sentence. “Come here.”
Jace leaned close to her. He smelled so good. “He said that we should both suck your cock. Together.”
The hand he’d put on her thigh gripped her tightly.
“Would you like that?” she asked.
“Would you?” he asked, his voice low and hoarse.
“Yes.”
“Then I’d like it very much.”
This was the first time he’d taken an active part in this. Well, except for when... but it had all been manipulation and demands to get him to admit anything. This was a win.
“I’d like to try your squid, too.”
He laughed and holy shit, he was beautiful. Not in that golden perfection way like Vance, but like the pictures she’d seen of the Hebrides. Harsh, rough, sharp in places, but nonetheless breathtaking.
“You hate squid. You just want me to feed you.”
“You’re not wrong.” For a moment, this was everything she’d hoped it could be. The three of them, out together, a triad. It felt more real and right than anything had in a long time.
Until Huntington Dane put in an appearance with someone they didn’t recognize. She didn’t look happy to be on his arm.
“Looks like I’m going to lose this bet, eh?” Huntington smirked at Vance, the expression chilly. As if he’d just played a winning hand.
“Maybe. Maybe not. I could give a shit about the bet one way or another.” Vance shrugged. “I hear you’re the one who has to worry about a measly ten thousand. That’s pin money for me.”
She noticed the way Vance changed when speaking to him. He adopted the same cool mannerisms, the same laisse faire attitude, but he was more than that. She hoped that Jace could see it, too.
The woman on his arm rolled her eyes. “I thought we were here for sushi, not to harass the Brat Prince and his entourage.”
“Just a minute, Cinder Girl.”
“I swear, if you call me that one more time—”
“Promises, promises.” Dane sighed, as if he were so put upon. “Just checking up on my vices.”
“Fine.” The girl sat down next to Jace. “Hi, I’m Asher.” She held out her hand. “Not Cinder Girl.”
“Hi, Asher Not Cinder Girl,” Jace greeted her. “Join us.”
“If only. I’d much rather eat with you three, but I’m afraid we have business dealings.”
Charlotte could only imagine what sort of business she had with Dane. “Well, I hope you hit him where it hurts.”
Asher laughed. “It’s sort of a hobby of mine.”
“You don’t want to join them. You’d be the fourth wheel, get it Cinder Girl?”
Asher narrowed her eyes. “Well, vehicles tend to do best with four wheels, don’t you think?”
“They’re on a date. Together. The three of them. You’re not invited,” Dane pointed out.
“Neither were you, yet here we are.” Asher grinned.
Charlotte decided to play. She didn’t like Huntington Dane. She didn’t like the way he treated people, didn’t like the way he made her feel, and definitely didn’t like that stupid bet. She was so glad Vance told her about it up front.
“You know, Pandora wants you to lose. She told me about the bet and demanded I sleep with them,” she nodded over her shoulder, “or she said she’d make Ridgemont Hall an uncomfortable place for me. So, do with that what you will.”
“Pandora is such a heifer. God. She and Conrad are awful,” Asher groaned.
Dane still appeared bored. “Yet, she continues to room with us.”
“Oh Christ, you’re next door with Pandora and Conrad?” Charlotte asked, her voice a higher pitch than she meant. She sounded like a startled mouse.
Dane laughed. “Didn’t you know?”
Charlotte eyed Asher. “I think we should be friends. Seems we have common in
terests.”
“Mani-pedis and sleepovers with Nutella cheesecake?” Asher offered.
“I accept these terms. Do you like California rolls?”
“Love them. I know they’re lower end on the sushi spectrum, but I can’t help myself.” She grinned.
“Much like you,” Dane said casually.
“You’d be lucky if she let you breathe her air. Maybe you’ve got money, Dane, but you’re shit. You treat people like shit because inside, that’s all you’ve got,” Charlotte snapped.
He smiled. “You’re not wrong. Come along, Asher. Have your playdate later. We have business to discuss.”
Asher, for all of her seeming dislike of him, was wounded for him, it seemed. “Talk soon, Charlotte.”
She and Dane wandered over to their own table.
“That guy might be as fucked up as I am,” Jace said.
“He is, but that’s no excuse for what he does to people. Someone is going to teach him a hard lesson. He’s going to crash and burn ugly,” Vance said.
“Let’s forget about him. I was enjoying our date.”
“Me too. You guys know I really don’t give a shit about the ten grand. If something happens, I want it to be because it’s what we all want. Not because of any stupid bet. I shouldn’t have taken it. But when I’m around Dane, I’m always on the defensive,” Vance confessed.
“Why?” Jace asked. “What does that guy have on you? He literally has nothing.”
“I don’t know. Something about him always makes me feel like I have to prove myself. Maybe because, even though I have more money, his is older? There’s something about those people who can trace their ancestry back to the Mayflower.” He shrugged. “His money is blood, mine is a tech fortune.”
“Then your parents are probably a lot more liberal. How would they feel about you being in a relationship with another man and a woman?” Charlotte asked.
“I doubt they’d care. They’d nod and say very nice, carry on, and go back to their gadgets and their fiddling. I knows Dane’s father would literally shit a kitten. Maybe three. What about your parents, Charlotte?”
“I don’t know what they’d say, but if we decide to have a relationship, I wouldn’t be afraid to tell them.”
Jace looked away.
“Hey, my parents love you. They’d probably be glad to know the person who has protected me since I was ten is going to be with me always. No matter how we label it.”