by Pati Nagle
I stared miserably at the floor, knowing he was right, and suspecting that campus police were no match for the alben. Maybe with Caeran watching me he would go after easier game, which was a horribly selfish thought, one I was immediately ashamed of.
Caeran shook his head slightly. “He knows you are aware of his nature, and he is also drawn to you. It is the ælven blood—it runs strong in you.”
“Ælven blood? Me?”
“All humans have ælven blood in their ancestry.”
“What?!”
The phone rang again. Stifling a curse, I grabbed it.
“Lenore Whiting.”
“Len? Are you all right? You didn’t call, and then your phone was busy—”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Man.” I rubbed a hand over my eyes. “I got distracted. I’m fine.”
“What happened? Did you see the guy?”
“Yeah. I called the cops—that’s why the phone was busy. They’re looking for him. Don’t leave your dorm.”
I talked with Amanda a little longer, though there wasn’t that much to say. I didn’t mention Caeran. Things were complicated enough.
When I told her goodbye, Caeran stood up. My heart sank, knowing before he spoke that he was going to leave.
“I must continue my own hunting.” He smiled as he said it, though his eyes remained sad.
I was proud of myself for refraining from grabbing him. “Come back soon, please. I want to talk with you some more.”
He didn’t answer, just brushed the back of his fingers against my cheek, lighting a fire in the pit of my stomach. Without another word, he turned to go.
I love you, I thought.
His stride faltered.
You are making it hard to walk away.
I gasped, my being suddenly flooded with a delicious awareness of him, as if I could taste his soul. I shivered, thrilled to my bones.
I don’t want you to walk away.
But I must.
He opened the door and went out, letting it fall shut behind him.
Caeran?
No answer. I went to the door and fought with myself for a full thirty seconds before throwing the deadbolt. Much as I wanted to follow him, Caeran did not want me around, and if he was going after the alben I’d only get in his way.
I shuffled over to the bed and collapsed on it, aching for Caeran’s arms around me. I could still feel a whisper of the thrill his mental contact had given me. Not only could he read minds, he could make psychic conversation, and it included much more than words. His voice in my head had lit colors in my mind, filled my senses with the taste and smell and feel of him. If I hadn’t already fallen for him, that would have done it.
I abandoned myself to reveling in the memory of it. For all I knew, I’d never get any more, so I wallowed while the impressions were fresh.
The next thing I knew, my alarm clock came on, blasting the cheery voice of the campus station’s morning disk jockey. I slapped it to shut it off and sat up, groaning.
Thursday. I had a morning class, then work at the library. Thinking about it made me restless; I didn’t want to do either. I wanted to find Caeran.
Yeah, well, good luck with that. It would only happen if he wanted to be found.
I grabbed a quick shower and turned the radio on again as I got dressed, hoping to hear that the cops had made an arrest. No such luck. The library search yesterday had made the news, but the little flurry of activity around my dorm had not, and I guessed that the police were keeping quiet about their leads.
I put my pack together for the day and dragged myself downstairs. Amanda was waiting in the lobby—someone from the dorm must have let her in. She came up to me with a worried greeting.
“Did you hear anything from the police?”
“Nope. He must have given them the slip.”
I headed for the doors, not wanting to answer a lot of questions about the previous night. Amanda hustled to keep up. Bright sunshine made me squint as I left the building.
“I’m so glad you got inside before he got to you,” Amanda said. “That must have been terrifying, to see him.”
“Yeah. Did I show you the picture I took?”
I pulled out my phone and brought up the picture. While Amanda was staring at it, I realized I’d missed another opportunity to catch a picture of Caeran. Dammit!
Amanda insisted on walking me to my class, even though it was two buildings past hers. I thanked her and told her to be careful. She had classes all day, so we’d meet again for dinner. I was on my own until then.
I drifted my way through my literature class, knowing I was doing a bad job taking notes. The professor glowered at me as I left. I’d have to do something to keep my grade from sliding, but just now I wasn’t in the mood.
I walked to the library, wondering where Caeran was. If he was watching me, great. I felt safer for it, and also for the daylight and the crowds of students on campus.
Night was the scary time. Solitary walks—even of a hundred yards—weren’t safe. This vampire—this alben—might not be able to come out in daylight, if that particular myth was true. I wished I’d thought to ask Caeran.
I signed in to work, exchanging hellos with Tony and Carla, the rest of Thursday front desk crew. Dave wasn’t around, for which I was grateful. Carla took off for lunch shortly after I arrived.
I collected a stack of data forms to enter into the system in between helping customers, to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t dwell on things I couldn’t control. Halfway through the first form I looked up as someone came up to my station.
Caeran. My heart flipped over. He leaned his elbows on the counter and bent his head toward me, so close I could smell him.
“The alben is in the building,” he murmured.
“What?” I lowered my voice at Caeran’s gesture. “Should I call the police?”
He shook his head. “He can evade them.”
I glanced at Tony, who was watching curiously. He looked away. My heart was pounding as I looked back at Caeran.
“I can’t really leave,” I whispered.
“You are safer here, with others nearby. I only wanted to warn you.”
“How did you know he was here?”
“I tracked him here last night.”
“He spent the night in here?” I glanced at Tony, then asked my next question silently.
Caeran, can he go out in sunlight?
“Yes, but not easily,” Caeran said softly.
So that one’s true? Sunlight will kill him?
“It’s more like a severe allergy. Do not consider daylight a guarantee.”
“OK.” I frowned. “What should I do?”
“What you normally do. I will be nearby.”
How can I call you if I need you?
“Exactly like that. But louder.” His lips curved in the lopsided smile I’d grown to cherish.
Caeran, talk to me.
The smile widened slightly, and he shook his head. I watched him stroll over to one of the couches by the front door and pick up a book.
I was intensely frustrated, and frightened halfway to freaking out. The alben was in this same freaking building, and Caeran was acting like Mr. Cool.
I turned back to my forms and tried to lose myself in data entry, but I was stressed and kept making errors. I kept looking over at Caeran, too, which didn’t help. I wanted him to talk inside my head again and fill me with the bliss I’d felt last night. I wondered if this was how addicts felt about their next fix.
Making an effort to focus, I shifted the angle of my monitor so my back was toward Caeran. It didn’t help much. I kept remembering him leaning on my counter, so much closer than he had stood that first day. I couldn’t recall at what point I’d become addicted to the way he smelled. Probably when we were sitting together up in the Wesley Collection.
I froze, hands poised over the keyboard, my thoughts skittering along an unpleasant path of possibility. I started to look toward Caeran, then realized he couldn�
�t deal with this one.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number for the Wesley Collection. Barb answered on the second ring.
“Hey, Barb, it’s Len. Can you do me a favor?”
“I can certainly try.”
“You know that book I was looking at last week? Could you pull it for me? Don’t let anyone use it?”
“Someone’s using it right now, I’m afraid.”
My heart thudded. “Who?”
“A community borrower. Do you want the name?”
I closed my eyes. “Does he have white hair?”
“Yes, though he’s certainly not old enough for it. He looks a little like your friend from last week.”
“I know who it is, but yes, give me the name.”
“One moment.”
Caeran, are you hearing this?
I looked over at him. He looked like he was still reading, but he nodded.
“It’s a Richard Gutierrez.”
“OK, thanks.”
“Do you want me to pull the book after he turns it in?”
“No, thanks. I’ll work on something else.
I hung up and turned to my monitor to bring up the record for Richard Gutierrez. There were four of them, but only one was a community borrower. He’d had his card for three years.
I’m thinking Richard Gutierrez recently had his pocket picked.
Caeran didn’t answer. I looked over and saw him nod again.
Should I call the cops now?
He shook his head slightly.
But we know exactly where he is. They can walk right in and arrest him. There’s only one entrance.
Caeran lifted a hand. I waited, but he just went back to reading.
He’s tracking down Madera. Shouldn’t we stop him?
Caeran frowned, pressing his lips together.
This is crazy. Will you please just talk to me?
He closed his book, stood, and headed for the elevators. There was no one at the counter, so I told Tony I’d be right back and hurried after Caeran. I found him leaning against the wall in the alcove between the elevators and the restrooms, arms folded across his book.
“He has probably learned Madera’s location,” he told me. “We are too late to prevent that.”
“So we call the police and they take him into custody.”
“He would only escape them,” he told me.
“Escape from jail?”
Caeran nodded. My heart sank.
“So there’s no way to stop him?”1
“I can stop him. Not here, though. Too many people are near.”
“What are you going to do, wait for him to leave?”
“Yes.”
“Caeran …”
He looked at me, patiently waiting, and my stomach sank. I knew I wasn’t going to talk him out of it.
“I wish you wouldn’t,” I whispered.
“There really is no choice. If I do not stop him, he will continue to kill. He will try to kill you.”
“Is this always what happens when you meet one of these—alben?”
Caeran’s gaze dropped. “Yes. We are enemies by nature.”
“But you’re the same.”
“We are kin, yes.” He smiled wryly. “Kinship does not necessarily mean affinity.”
“Is there no way to cure the disease?”
“Our healers have tried for many centuries.”
“What about science?”
“We have tried that, too, as much as we are able. It is not easy for us to pursue research.”
I nodded, understanding. “No labs. No funding.”
“We have learned more about the nature of the illness, but nothing that would help to cure it.”
“Maybe I’ll switch to pre-med.”
He glanced up at me, confused, then he must have read my meaning in my thoughts. His cheeks bloomed with sudden color.
“Our troubles need not concern you.”
“It’s a little too late for that.”
The elevator door opened and I jumped. Caeran stepped away from the wall, waited a moment for the two girls from the elevator to get out of earshot, then leaned closer to me.
“Your coworkers are wondering where you are.”
He started to walk forward but I stopped him with a hand against his chest. “Wait one second.”
I got my phone out of my pocket and stepped back, then snapped off a photo. Caeran looked like a startled deer, but at least I had his picture.
“Why?” he said.
“To remember you by.”
“You would be better off forgetting.”
“No way.”
He frowned, then brushed past me on his way back to the couch. Had I pissed him off? Too bad. I wasn’t sorry.
I returned to the counter. Carla was back from lunch, so it was my turn. I was getting cold vibes off of Tony, so I turned to him with a smile.
“Would you like to go first, Tony? I can wait.”
He looked slightly less huffy. “No thanks. I’m meeting Chivonne.”
“OK. I’ll be back early, promise.”
I grabbed my pack, signed out, and headed toward the entrance. Instead of going straight out I sat down two seats away from Caeran and rummaged through my pack.
“Lunch break,” I said quietly. “Care to join me?”
“No thank you.”
“Can I bring you something?”
“I’m not hungry.”
I know you eat. I’ve seen you. I could bring you some chile stew from the SUB.
A corner of his mouth twitched, but he kept his eyes on his book. I sighed and stood up.
I’ll be back in half an hour.
Caeran gave a single nod. Unwilling to leave, I slung my pack over my shoulder and sort of stomped out.
Amanda’s schedule didn’t match with mine on Thursdays, so I was on my own. Usually I took an hour for lunch, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from Caeran that long. A shorter lunch meant I could take off work half an hour earlier, unless things were really busy.
I walked over to the SUB and headed for the pizza kiosk. When I came within sight of it I hesitated, remembering my first encounter with the alben. Just thinking about it set my heart racing with fear.
He’s in the library, I reminded myself. He won’t come outside because he’s allergic to the sun.
Shaking off the dread, I walked up and ordered my usual pepperoni slice and soda. I went back outside with them, not willing to push my luck so far as to sit at the same table. Instead I sat on the edge of one of the big planters full of tired-looking petunias. They were valiantly blooming, though the snow and frost would get them soon.
The sun was warm, but a cool breeze countered it. My arms sprouted goosebumps. I pulled my sweater out of my pack and shrugged into it, then finished my pizza, thinking about Caeran.
Nice to have him watching over me. Not good that he was aiming to fight the alben. He hadn’t said it outright, but he’d implied that he intended to kill this enemy. I didn’t like the idea of Caeran killing to protect me, though I understood why he thought that was the only choice.
I’d made a promise, though, to inform the campus police if I saw the suspect again. I was failing in that promise by going along with Caeran.
I bit my lip. Maybe I should call them even if he didn’t like it. There was just one problem with that, though—what if they mistook Caeran for the suspect?
No, I couldn’t take a chance on that happening. I had to leave the cops out of it.
I sipped on my soda, surprised at the hollow gurgle I got through the straw. I’d drunk the whole thing without realizing it.
I took out my phone to check the time, and got distracted by Caeran’s picture. His expression reminded me of when I’d first seen him: uncertain, worried. Gorgeous despite all that.
I had to figure out a way to keep him in my life. He wanted me, too, I was pretty sure. He was being all noble and self-sacrificing, which I guess was nice except that he was sa
crificing my feelings, too.
I looked at the time. Twenty after. I needed something to do for ten minutes. Settled for checking my email, for which I had to go back inside to pick up the SUB’s wireless. There was a hello-where-should-we-get-dinner from Amanda, and nothing else of interest. I suggested Greek, then logged out and headed back to the library.
As I walked in the doors I looked toward the couch where Caeran had been sitting. He wasn’t there. I was about to panic when I saw him coming out of the elevator. I had a few minutes, still, so I waited by the couch. Caeran smiled slightly as he joined me, enough to make my heart start tap-dancing.
“Where did you go?” I asked.
“To verify that he is still … reading.”
“Oh.” I lowered my voice. “Maybe he hasn’t found it yet after all.”
Caeran tilted his head, as if considering this possibility. His gaze flicked in the direction of the Wesley Collection.
Still time to call the police.
He shook his head. “It would only make things more difficult. Better to wait until he leaves here.”
And let him find out where Madera is?
“I know it seems odd, but if I succeed, he will get nowhere near Madera.”
I stared at him, out of arguments, down to just drinking in his presence. I was greedy; I wanted as much as I could get every time I saw him, because it could always be the last time.
He gazed back at me, then gently took my hands and squeezed them. At his touch I wanted only to please him, only to belong to him. I saw a swallow move his throat. He leaned close to whisper in my ear.
“You will be late.”
“Caeran—”
He stepped back, shaking his head slightly as he let go of my hands. He held my gaze for a moment, then resumed his place on the couch and picked up his book.
Damn it.
I trudged past the front desk, waving halfheartedly at Tony, and continued to the staff lounge where I signed in exactly thirty-six minutes after I’d signed out. I went to my station, glanced toward Caeran who was busy blending in, and dove into my stack of data entry.
The afternoon dragged. I had three more hours—or two and a half—to get through. Between keeping an eye on Caeran and worrying about the alben upstairs, I was in an anxious mood. I finished my stack of data entry forms, went back and got another, and watched the afternoon light through the glass wall gradually go golden.