by Marla Monroe
He looked up at her and she knew he was playing a game. She’d been with him long enough to know that look. It had her stomach rolling that he wasn’t really any better or settled with them.
“Hey, babe. I’m fine. Been to the gym and back this morning,” he said.
“That’s great!” Heath told him as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed.
“The nurse is going to jump all over you if she catches you sitting on her clean bed, man,” Kermit told the other man.
“Is she pretty? I bet she’s a knock out. I’ll charm her around to my way of thinking. Watch me,” the arrogant idiot said.
Abby felt sorry for him when the door opened and a nice looking man in white scrubs walked into the room and glared at him.
“I know you’re not sitting on my freshly made bed, are you?” he demanded.
“Um, sorry.” Heath jumped off the bed and threw a glare in Kermit’s direction. “You could have warned me.”
Abby’s heart melted when she heard her fiancé laugh for the first time in so long she almost couldn’t remember the last time.
“I did, asshole.”
“I’m going on lunch break, Kermit. If you need something, just push the button, and Carly is covering for me. Don’t give her any grief. Her little boy was up all night with a stomach virus,” the nurse said. Then he turned to Heath and winked. “Stay off my clean bed. If you want to roll around on one when I get back, I’ll show you mine.”
The second he was through the door, Kermit erupted into another bark of laughter. “He’s a knock out, all right. He might just be your match, man.”
“Shut the fuck up, Froggy. I might be good-looking and attract all kinds, but I’m not cosmopolitan that way.”
“Cosmopolitan? Where the hell did you learn that word?” Kermit asked.
“I read, you know. You should try it. I’m sure Abby has plenty of hot romances on that e-reader she’s always carrying with her. If you talk real nice to her, she might let you borrow it,” Heath teased.
Abby loved seeing them banter back and forth. Maybe she’d misread the look in his eyes earlier. Maybe.
“Is that what you call reading? That’s as bad as looking at girly magazines!”
“Kermit Frog Anderson!” Abby narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t read porn magazines. I read romance books. Big difference! One, I’m reading and not looking at pictures, and two, there’s a plot in them.”
Without thinking, Abby leaned down and kissed him. When he didn’t immediately respond, she pulled back and stood up, trying to hide the pain it caused her. Kermit didn’t look up at her when she slid off the arm of the chair.
“I think I’ll run down to the vending machines downstairs and grab something to drink. Do you guys want anything?” she asked, without looking back at Kermit.
“I’ll take a Dr. Pepper if they have it,” Heath said. “Do you need some change?”
Kermit’s snorting laugh shouldn’t have bothered her, but it did. She opened the door as he tossed back a retort to Heath.
“Nothing takes just change these days, buddy. Everything requires at least a dollar.”
Abby let the door close behind her as she forced herself to walk causally down the hall toward the bank of elevators when she wanted to run and not stop until she was at the car. This was killing her. Maybe she was fooling herself thinking Kermit was only hurting and defensive because of the loss of his legs. Maybe he’d really changed his mind even before the bomb.
As she waited on the elevator to reach her, Abby questioned everything he’d said to her the last time they’d seen each other. Had he been slipping away from her even then? What had she missed?
The ding of the elevator reaching her floor reminded her that it was in the past and going over it now wouldn’t change anything. All she could do was take it one day at a time and see how it all played out.
When the doors opened, a nice, rough-looking man with shiny black hair stepped out and nodded at her. She didn’t feel uneasy despite how big and muscular he was or the scars she could see on his face and neck. As she turned in the elevator and pushed the button to go down, she noticed how he walked with a slight hitch in his gait. Did he have a prosthesis or was it just a limp from being injured?
Could Kermit learn to walk again? She’d done a lot of research over the last couple of months and knew that there were thousands of men and women out there who’d lost both legs and were able to walk again. She’d even met one of the women who’d survived the Boston Marathon bombing after losing one of her legs. She’d been so nice and was one of the bravest people she knew. Her attitude had been one of surviving and persevering despite the odds she had to overcome.
Could Abby somehow help Kermit to reach that point? If he was trying to play a game with her and Heath, she’d out maneuver him. He’d been the one to teach her that, too. When she’d been harassed by her brothers with their overprotective attitudes, Kermit had been the one to show her how to get around them. Well he’d taught her well and she planned to use that knowledge to at least make him accept and move on. If he really didn’t want her anymore and it had nothing to do with his injuries, she’d walk away, but not before he was on his feet again.
New determination burned in her blood as she punched the button so hard on the drink machine that she thought it would crack. With her Diet Coke and Heath’s Dr. Pepper in hand, Abby stomped back to the elevator and waited for it to arrive. As soon as she made it back to the floor Kermit was on, she stalked down the hall and pushed open the door without knocking.
To her surprise, the huge man from the elevator was standing just in the doorway talking to Kermit and Heath. He quickly moved aside and held the door as she stepped inside.
“Sorry, ma’am. Come on in. I was just leaving.” He nodded at Kermit. “I’ll see you downstairs this afternoon. Have a good visit.”
Abby waited until the stranger had gone and the door snapped shut to ask who he was.
“Rex Fielder,” Heath said. “He’s going to work with Kermit on getting up and going.”
“Is he a physical therapist?” she asked.
“No. He’s an amputee who still comes to work out with the guys here,” Kermit said, looking down at his hands. “Thinks he can help me get back on my feet. I told him I didn’t have them anymore, but he just shook his head.”
“Don’t blame him. He’s up and walking around. You’re not,” she told him, cringing at her words, but knowing she needed to say them.
It had been over two months now. Kermit should have already been going to the gym instead of waddling in that hospital bed feeling sorry for himself.
“Abby,” Heath said in a sharp voice.
“Don’t, Heath. She’s right. I’m working on it. I’m going to the gym now, so give me a break, babe,” Kermit said smiling at her. Only that smile didn’t reach his eyes.
Abby nodded and forced a smile that probably didn’t reach hers, either. “Sure thing, Froggy. You’ll be up and marching in no time.”
* * * *
Kermit knew his pretense wasn’t lost on Abby. She’d always been able to read him. Heath wanted to believe, so pulling one over on him wasn’t a problem. Maybe he should have felt guilty for doing it, but mostly he just felt numb, well everywhere except where his fucking legs used to be. They hurt like a mother.
“So what do you do in the gym?” Abby asked him. She wasn’t looking at him anymore. Instead, she had her eyes wandering around the room.
“Not much yet. They checked me over real good to get an idea of what sort of things I’d need to do to build up my strength again. Looks like I’ll have to keep doing sit-ups to strengthen my abdominal muscles. Evidently you use those muscles more when you walk on a prosthesis than when you had legs,” he told her.
“Damn. I guess that means I better start hitting the gym, too. You’ll start getting ripped while I still have a beer belly,” Heath teased.
“Yeah, won’t be long before I’ll have all the girls flirting
with me instead of you,” he said, making sure to avoid Abby’s eyes. He had to get her to leave it alone and go back home.
“Don’t worry, Kermy, baby. I’ll keep them off of you,” Abby said in a sweet voice, patting him on the head.
“What if I don’t want you to?” he asked.
“Kermit? What’s going on, man?” Heath pushed off the wall where he’d been leaning and walked over to stand in front of him. “We’re cool, right? You said you were fine.”
“Yeah. We’re good, Heath.” He nodded up at his best friend.
Yeah, it hurt knowing that Heath was head over heels in love with Abby, but he’d known the other man cared about her a little more than he should for a long time. It was the fact that he never hit on her that kept them friends. He was really okay with the slip up—the kiss, too. They’d both been upset and drunk. It went nowhere. He trusted both of them on that. But he had to get rid of Abby. Maybe once he was out and on his own again he could handle it if the two most important people in his life hooked up, but not yet.
“What time will you be going to the gym every day?” Abby asked, stepping away from him to lean against the foot of the bed.
“Rex, the guy who was just in here said I’d be going twice a day, nine in the morning and three in the afternoon,” Kermit told her. “I think we work out for two hours both times, but I’m not sure yet.”
He watched as she nodded and checked her watch. Was she ready to go? Had he managed to convince her he wasn’t interested in her anymore? Instead of feeling relived that she’d gotten the message, Kermit had to grit his teeth not to howl in pain that she was already giving up.
Already? I’ve refused to see her for nearly three freaking weeks. What should I expect? I told her I never wanted to see her again, I basically told her in front of Heath that I’m open to other women. I should be happy my plan worked.
Only he wasn’t. He hated hurting her when the only people who hadn’t hurt her in the past were him and Heath. Her brothers had driven her crazy with their constant belittling and interference in her life. Now it looked like he was kicking her feet out from under her as well.
“Ready to go, Heath? I promised the lady next door to me I’d babysit for her while she went grocery shopping this afternoon,” Abby said.
“How are you managing to keep two apartments, Abby? Are you working?” Kermit asked despite the fact that it was delaying departure.
“I gave up my apartment back in Tampa. I knew you’d be here for at least the next six or eight months. I didn’t think there was any reason to keep it.” She finally looked him straight in the eyes. “And yes. I’m working. Heath, I’ll wait for you by the car.”
Kermit watched as Abby, the only woman he’d ever loved, walked out of the room for probably the last time. He’d hurt her and hurt her deep. She’d walk away for sure now. It pained him to know that she’d given up her apartment. She’d loved it, had it fixed just like she wanted. It meant that when she returned to Tampa she’d have to find another place that wouldn’t be that perfect and the rent would end up being twice as much.
Fuck! I’ve screwed everything up for her. I don’t deserve her. I should have died when we ran over that damn bomb.
“What in hell are you doing, Kermit?” Heath started pacing, his hands opening and closing by his sides.
“Nothing. What are you talking about?” he asked, keeping his face as neutral as possible.
“Hell no! You’re not playing this with me, man. You’re intentionally dumping on Abby. Why? You said you were fine with everything. Even if you weren’t it’s me you should be shitting on and not her. She wasn’t involved at all. I’m the one who initiated and held on to her when she tried to pull away.” Heath kicked at the leg of the hospital bed then turned and hit the wall, shoving his hand through it.
“I hope to hell there isn’t anyone in the other room, man. Do you feel better now?” Kermit snapped.
“Hell no, I don’t feel better! Why would you deliberately hurt her like that? She loves you, man. Her entire world is centered on you. You’ve never been one to disrespect any woman, why are you doing it to the one you love and have loved for well over fifteen years?”
“I haven’t been feeling it for the last couple of years, Heath. With all that’s happened, I realized that I need to stop letting things ride and let her go. I’ve been fooling myself, thinking that she was the one and she isn’t. I tried to tell her, but she’s got it in her head that I’m being a martyr and trying to let her off the hook to being with a cripple,” he told his friend. Turning to him, he gritted his teeth. “Maybe you can talk to her for me, make her understand that I’m just not that into her anymore. She’ll listen to you. You’re friends with her, too.”
Heath slowly shook his head. Kermit watched the man’s mouth open then close again. He expected him to yell at him some more or at least call him a bastard, but the other man just turned and walked out of the door without saying one more word. The sound of the door slamming made him wince.
When he leaned back in the chair, wishing the nurse would hurry back from his break and help him back to bed, his gaze fell on the hole in the wall. He started laughing. At least he couldn’t be blamed for that. He was too fucking short now to have made it.
Chapter Six
“Good morning, ma’am. Can I help you?” A smart looking young man dressed in scrubs walked up to meet Abby as she entered the Amputee Care Clinic the next morning.
“Yes, thank you. I’m here to work out with Kermit Anderson. I’m his fiancée,” she told the man.
“Oh. Um, ma’am, you aren’t allowed in the gym unless your fiancé leaves word at the desk and the others working out don’t mind your being there.” The young man looked at the clipboard he was carrying and shook his head. “I don’t see where Kermit left word that you might come.”
“Would you please let him know I’m here and that he had to let you know that I can come in?” she asked.
“Of course, ma’am. If you’ll sit back in the waiting area I’ll be right back.” He indicated the room where there were lots of magazines and pamphlets on the walls along with two other women waiting.
“Of course.” She smiled though she didn’t much feel like it and turned back to the waiting area.
When she entered, both women turned and looked up at her. Their quick, brittle smiles let he know they were in much the same boat she was in. Their men were trying to alienate them as well.
“Hi,” she said before taking a seat a few chairs from the door.
Neither of the other two women said much beyond a returned greeting. They didn’t talk to each other either. Only one of the two wore a wedding band. The other woman wasn’t even wearing an engagement ring. She looked down where she was twisting hers around her finger, showing her nervousness. Abby made herself stop, settling both hands on the arms of the chair.
She started to address the woman closest to her but the waiting room door opened and the same man who’d greeted her walked inside. She could tell by the pained expression on his face that the news wasn’t good. Abby really didn’t want the other women overhear her humiliation, so she quickly stood up and walked over to the man.
“Um, ma’am,” he began in a soft voice. “Your, um, fiancé doesn’t want you to see him while he’s working out. Don’t take it hard, ma’am. Most of the men don’t want anyone to see them like that when they’re first learning how to walk again and your fiancé isn’t at that level yet. He’s working on building strength. Maybe you should come back later when he’s in his room.”
Abby started to tell him she’d wait with the other two women, but then thought about it. It was obvious he’d said more to the poor man than he was relaying to her. As much as she hated giving in to Kermit’s stubbornness, she figured it would do more harm than good for her to be waiting there when he finished. She’d wait for him in his room instead. She’d be more comfortable there than down in the waiting area with those other women and sitting on a hard chair.
“Thank you. I guess you’re right. Maybe I’ll come back later when he’s resting.” She nodded at the man and walked past him to the door leading back outside.
Once there, Abby walked out to her car and stared at it for a long time while she tried to figure out what to do. He’d made it exceedingly clear that he didn’t want her in his life right then. Should she pack up and head back to Florida or stay where she was and see if he changed his mind once he was able to walk again? It would take time, she knew that, but Abby had already been ready to wait forever.
She pulled out her keys and unlocked the car. After climbing in and shutting the door, she sat there trying to decide if she should go and wait in his room or come back later. Or, even not at all. Her heart hurt at the thought of losing Kermit. He’d been her anchor for so long that not having him would be like drifting at sea all alone in a tiny rowboat.
She’d talked to her father and brothers almost daily the last few weeks. They’d encouraged her to continue to support him and try to get through to him that she was there no matter what, but they didn’t know she hadn’t been able to even see him until a few days ago. If they had known that, their encouragement might not have been as freely given. What was she going to do?
After sitting in the hot sun for another twenty minutes trying to decide, Abby started the car and inhaled the much cooler air of the air conditioner and drove over to the hospital side parking area. Abby was going to wait for him in his room and see how he acted with it being just the two of them. Depending on that, she’d make a decision on how to proceed. Her father had always stressed the importance of having accurate and complete intel before making any serious decisions. It had always served her well to think things through and make damn sure she had all the facts.
Locking up the car once again, Abby walked over to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center’s main entrance and headed to the vending area. There she got a Diet Coke for her and a regular Coke for Kermit. She grabbed some peanut butter crackers and took the elevators to his floor.