She saw blue-green grieving eyes, and her heart melted. She opened the door, swallowing a lump of raw emotion. He looked like the walking dead. The man needed to go to bed. She got a flashback of them in his bed last night. To sleep, she added to the thought.
He didn’t speak. Just stared. She cleared her throat.
The muscle in his cheek twitched. “We need to talk. Will you please come home with me?”
She inhaled, remembering she had guns to stick to. But where were her guns and what exactly was she supposed to stick to? Then she remembered. “I think I should stay here, Brit.”
“Why?” Hurt echoed in his voice. Her heart responded, and her grip on her guns weakened.
“You know why.” She stood a little straighter.
He pushed a hand over his face. “You said no and I stopped.”
She stared down at her toenails and decided they could use a dozen or so more coats. Then squaring her shoulders again, she faced him. “It’s not that. Or only part of that.”
“Then what else is it?” He fell against the doorframe.
His scent surrounded her, and she closed her eyes for a second.
“You think I’m lying to you about Stan,” she said. “You think I’m like your mother. And you don’t even like her very much. And while I don’t think I’m anything like her, I sure as heck don’t like you thinking I’m some kind of perverted woman who likes to be abused.”
He reached up and pinched the tip of his nose and closed his eyes as if trying to gather his thoughts. “You’re right. I was wrong to accuse you of talking to Stan.”
“Oh, and you just suddenly believe me, huh?”
“I wish I was that smart. But no. The hotel clerk found a print-out of your online credit card bill. Stan somehow got your password and printed out the charge to the hotel. And I know that makes me an even bigger ass, but I’m trying to be honest.”
She tried to figure out why her resolve was fading. Perhaps his honesty. Perhaps that he looked so tired. Perhaps because even tired, he looked so damn sexy.
He suddenly continued, “And I’ll even admit that in the beginning I did associate you with all the things I didn’t like about my mom.”
He inhaled deeply. “And if you’re standing here waiting for me to give you a reason for my behavior, well, we’re going to be standing here a long time. I could tell you it’s because I’m exhausted, and I am. I could tell you it’s because I’m torn up inside with grief, and I am. But that doesn’t make it okay. So basically, the only excuse I can think to offer up right now is that I’m an idiot. But I’m an honest idiot who’s apologizing.”
Another wave of empathy ran through her. She wanted to wrap her arms around him. She needed to help him, to erase the grief from his eyes—because somehow helping him, helped her own grief.
And yet, deep down, she remembered something her mother had said. You can’t fix, Brit. He’s going to have to fix himself.
Did that mean she needed to be working on fixing herself too?
He pushed a hand over his face. “Come home with me. I need to know you’re okay. I need you to sleep.”
She looked at him and felt herself wavering again. “What’s happening here?” She waved a hand between them.
“I just want to protect you.” His words stirred her anger again and she managed to find her guns.
“So that’s what this is all about? You, protecting me. There’s nothing happening between us?” Maybe she wouldn’t just stick to her guns, maybe she should load, cock, and fire them on him. “Do you seduce all the women you come across in your job? Take them home and crawl in bed with them and stick your hand down—”
“Cali.” He took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. This isn’t just about me protecting you.” He closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them, he stared right at her, his red-rimmed blue-greens pleading. “I don’t understand everything that’s happening. I’m not going to pretend I do. But all I know is that I don’t want to walk away from here without you. I think if we’re going to figure this out, then we need to do it together. Please. Please, come home with me.”
She studied her toenails again because if she looked hard enough, she’d find her guns down there hanging out at her feet. The guns she was supposed to stick to, but had dropped. He reached out and touched her face, and she no longer wanted to find the guns. She wanted to fall into him, to let him comfort her, and offer him comfort in return.
He pulled his hand from her face. “I won’t even… Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen.”
“And in that lies the problem.” She raised her gaze.
He smiled as if understanding exactly what she meant. He reached back up and ran a finger over her cheek. “Then why is any of that an issue? We’re both consenting adults.”
“The case,” Cali said. “The fact that you and I barely know each other. The fact that both of us are going through something awful right now, and it isn’t wise to start a relationship.”
“Whoa,” he said. “First, you know more about me right now than most of the guys I’ve worked with for eight years. You even met my mother. No one has ever met my mother. Hell, Keith hadn’t even met my mom.” He hesitated. “And I’d like to think I know you. As for the case, even without your testimony we’ve got solid evidence. The worst that could happen is that I get my ass chewed out by my boss. I’m willing to take that risk. And hell yeah, we’re both going through something, and that’s part of the reason we should be together. To help each other. I need you. Please.”
She bit the inside of her cheek and noted the lines of stress around his eyes. Any fight she’d had in her went the way of the guns. “Let me say good bye to Tanya.”
Relief filled his eyes as he leaned in and kissed her. Not a let’s-have-sex kiss, but a thank-you kiss. “I’ll wait here.”
When she went back in the kitchen, Tanya held out Cali’s purse. “I don’t know how you held out so long.”
Cali took the purse. “I lost my guns.”
“The hell with guns. I just want to hear all the juicy details later.” Tanya hugged her.
Cali hugged back. “Thanks for being here. I owe you.”
“Yeah.” Tanya walked her to the door. “And pay backs are hell.”
~
While Brit waited, his phone rang. He looked at the number and frowned. Keith’s wife. He cut it off and dropped it back in his pocket. When he did, he felt the folded piece of paper. Forgetting what it was, he pulled it out. It was the printed copy of Cali’s credit card bill. He was about to drop it back in his pocket when an idea hit.
If he hadn’t been so tired, he’d have realized sooner. This was the key to catching Stan. He’d charge another room on Cali’s card, and wait for Stan to show up. Hope fluttered inside him. His smile widened when Cali walked out.
She looked at the paper in his hands.
“It’s what the hotel clerk found,” he said as they got into his SUV. “Your online credit card bill.”
She buckled up and then glanced again at the paper and frowned. “I was trying to fix it so I could pay my bills online. He offered to help.”
Which you should have refused, he thought, but he didn’t say it. He started the car and headed to his house. “Actually, I think this is going to help us end this case.”
“How?” Her big blues, tired blues, met his.
“I’ll rent another hotel room with your card. This time when Stan comes to call, my partner and I will be waiting.”
“Okay,” she said.
She didn’t say anything else, and Brit wondered why she didn’t seem as happy about this as he was. But even as doubt pulled at his mind, he pushed it away. But the closer they got to his house, the quieter she got. When he pulled into the garage, she looked almost afraid.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
She glanced at him. “I’m sure your sister thinks my hair color is an indication of my mental capabilities.”
�
��Don’t be silly. Susan told me she likes you.”
“Right,” Cali said, and they walked inside. A note on the table said Susan had gone to have lunch with John and wouldn’t be back until around three.
“Why is she doing this?” he muttered.
“Doing what?”
“Dating my partner. It’s going to end badly.”
“You don’t know that,” Cali said.
Brit frowned. “If he hurts her, I’ll have to kill him and I think my sergeant will frown upon that.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why do you think he’ll hurt her?”
“Because he’s a man,” he snapped.
“Hmm,” she said. “So maybe I should stay away from men, too.”
He exhaled. “I guess it’s a brother thing.”
“I guess so.” She offered a shy smile. “Good thing I don’t have any brothers.”
He remembered that she’d practically told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Not that he’d actually forgotten it. The thought had caused a tightening sensation low in his belly since she’d said it.
He opened the fridge, not knowing what he needed most, food, sleep, or to make love to Cali. “You hungry?”
“I ate, but thanks.” She ran her hand over the table as if nervous, and he decided sex would have to wait until later. Besides, he wanted to be at his best their first time, and with only a couple of hours of sleep in the past thirty-six hours, he didn’t think he’d be at his best. Food first, sleep, and then sex. Funny how sometimes the most important things got put last.
He pulled out the milk and frowned when he saw the nonfat label. Shoving the milk back in, he grabbed the carton of orange juice. After pouring a glass of OJ, he spread some mayonnaise on a slice of bread, added a piece of cheese, topped it with another slab of bread, and ate standing up.
Cali studied him. “Are you afraid to sit down because you might not be able to get up?”
He swallowed. “Yup. Did you sleep okay last night?”
She shook her head. “I never did go back to sleep. I’m pretty tired myself.”
He looked at her without trying to hide the want in his eyes. “Then you won’t blame me when my head hits the pillow and I’m out cold. And we catch up on other stuff when we’re both feeling recharged?”
“That’s fine.” Her cheeks grew redder and he knew she knew what he meant by catch up.
He leaned against the counter and grinned. “You’re blushing. You’re so damn refreshing.”
“I am not,” she said.
“Yes, you are. Can you even say sex without turning red?”
Her eyes widened. “Yes. I can say sex.”
He pointed a finger at her. “You’re turning redder.” He chuckled and polished off his sandwich. “Come on.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to his bedroom. The bed had been made and his sister’s pajamas lay folded neatly on top. Cali’s doings, no doubt. His sister had never won any prize on neatness.
He pressed a kiss to Cali’s temple and moved her to the bed. She sat down on the edge. He kicked off his shoes, removed his shirt, and unsnapped his jeans, never taking his eyes off her.
“You gonna sleep in your clothes?” he asked.
“I’m plenty comfortable.” She sounded so prim and proper.
“Right,” he teased.
“Really, I’m fine.” She stood up.
Grinning, he removed his jeans, but left on his boxers for fear of shocking her that he was already hard for her. Then he pulled back the covers and motioned for her to climb in.
She pushed off her tennis shoes, nudged them beneath the bed with her foot, then dipped under his arm and crawled between the sheets. She kept crawling all the way to the other side. He went in after her. Sliding them back to the middle of the bed, he draped his arm across her stomach and buried his nose in her hair. Her blond strands caught on the stubble on his face, reminding him he needed to shave, and he breathed in her scent. Damn, she smelled good—felt good, too.
“Are you going to be able to sleep?” he asked, wondering if he could. He was getting harder and his mind teased him with thoughts of taking off that red sweater, of tasting every place he’d touched last night.
Obviously, some muscles in his body didn’t need sleep. He rose up on one elbow to see her face. And what a face.
She cut her gaze toward him. “I think so.”
He kissed her cheek and noticed the tension in his shoulders had already loosened. “Thank you for coming home with me.”
“You’re welcome.” She shifted and looked at the clock. “Should we set it so we’ll be up when Susan gets here?”
“Why?”
“Because I told her that we weren’t getting naked together. And this will be the second time that she’s caught me in bed with you.”
He chuckled. “When she gets here, I’ll tell her we’re now getting naked and having sex.” He winked. “She’ll be happy.”
Cali set her mouth in a firm line. “I don’t think so.
Brit gave in and set the clock. When Cali rolled over on her side, he followed her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her soft backside against him. Even too tired to think, he wasn’t too tired to feel. And he felt every sweet inch of her against him.
He had almost closed his eyes when he heard her mutter, “Shit.”
He pressed his face into her hair and grinned. “You’re a teacher, you’re not supposed to cuss.”
She rolled over and frowned. “I just remembered.”
“Remembered what?” From the look in her eyes, it appeared serious. His gut tightened, thinking it was about Humphrey. “What did you remember?”
“A reason why we can’t have sex.” And she blushed when she said the three-letter word. But he was more concerned with what she had to say than the blush this time.
“Why’s that?” He propped up on his elbow.
She frowned. “I’m afraid that your condoms went the way of your toothbrush.”
“Say what?”
“They went in the toilet.” Humor danced in her eyes, yet she bit her lip as if trying not to laugh.
“You threw my condoms in the toilet?” Laughing, he pulled her against his chest. Somewhere between the spurts of laughter, he assured her he had another stash of condoms. Right in the bedside table, waiting for when they woke up. Then, in spite of wanting her so badly he ached, the laughter and having her warm sweetness so close chased away the grief, he slept. His last thought was of how heavenly she felt against him and how he could get used to this.
Used to having her in his life.
Chapter Thirty-Two
When the alarm went off, he came out of a dead sleep—the kind of sleep that refueled the body. He blinked away the mental cobwebs and looked around. The other side of the bed was empty.
“Cali?” He slapped off the buzzing alarm, pushing a hand over his face. His palm met with the bristle of his two-day-old beard. He needed to shave. He needed a shower.
He needed to make love to Cali.
Desire tightened his boys and a smile brushed over his lips.
Tossing back the covers, he got up and heard laughter. He moved down the hall. Cali and Susan sat at his kitchen table, chuckling like old friends and digging through a box of photos on the table.
Mama Cat sat on the threshold to the laundry room watching them. Something about seeing the three of them—three women that all had gotten under his skin—all together in one room made the air in his lungs feel fresher. Another smile started inside his chest and fluttered up to his lips.
He leaned against the doorframe and enjoyed the strange emotions doing laps around his chest. “What’s so funny?”
They both swung around. Susan spoke, “I’m showing Cali all your naked baby pictures.”
“Hey, in my defense, it was cold when they were taken.”
Susan laughed. The cat meowed. Cali grinned and he saw her cheeks warm to a soft pink color. He also saw her gaze brush over him, slowly, as
if gathering details to save to her memory. He liked the look in her eyes. He liked where that look could take them.
Hell, if Susan wasn’t here, he’d strip off his boxers and tell her to take a long and hard look. And he was going to get long and hard if he didn’t corral his thoughts.
Susan must have noted Cali’s red face because she clucked her tongue. “Men have no decency. Go get your clothes on and quit trying to impress Cali.”
Chuckling, he turned away before his sister saw just how much Cali impressed him. “I’m going to shower and shave.” A cold shower. Looked as if he wouldn’t get everything he needed until he put his sister on that plane. As his body tightened, he wondered if he could book her on an earlier flight.
~
Cali watched Brit give Susan a hug. The airport noise bounced around the light gray walls like ping pong balls. Families whispering goodbye, voices raised with excitement as they spotted loved ones, and an occasional beep of security catching someone’s keys in their pocket. Glancing around, she saw what appeared to be a mother and daughter embracing and Cali’s chest tightened. For just a second, she felt so completely alone. Alone in a world where everybody had someone.
Not wanting to go melodramatic, she focused again on Brit and Susan.
“I love you,” Susan said to her brother.
“Back at you,” Brit said, hugging her. Glancing over his sister’s shoulder, his gaze met Cali’s and he winked.
Cali smiled.
Susan pulled away from Brit. “Promise me you’ll call Mom occasionally.”
“Have a good flight.” He raised an eyebrow at her.
Susan frowned and turned to Cali. “It was a pleasure to meet you.” Her hug took Cali by surprise, but she didn’t mind.
“Make my brother behave,” Susan said. “If he keeps running around in his boxers, threaten to post one of those naked baby pictures on the Internet. The one taken on that cold day.”
“I will.” Cali laughed. Having never had a sibling, she found their teasing something to be cherished.
As Susan walked away, Brit pulled Cali close. “Told you she liked you,” Brit said.
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