by Alexa Kang
“Why the glum face?” she asked when Tessa came in early Friday evening after school.
“My teacher’s making me write an extra essay this weekend.”
“Why?”
“We’re reading The Scarlet Letter in English class. I said in class that if Hester Prynne’s husband was such a mean-spirited bloke and was always away, then maybe she wasn’t physically fulfilled.”
“You did not!” Nadine bent over laughing.
“I said what was on my mind.”
“So what now?”
“Now I have to write an essay on why Hester Prynne would have been wrong to have these thoughts.”
“I have a suggestion.” Nadine leaned across the bar. “Why don’t you write this? ‘Hester should not have these thoughts because it led her to a wimpy priest who satisfied her even less.’”
Tessa’s mouth dropped open and they both broke into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” An attractive man in his late thirties entered. His French accent made him a standout among the tavern’s other patrons. Nadine did not look up right away, but her lips curled up slowly into a seductive smile. The Frenchman came up to her and hugged her from behind. Unabashed, she turned around and kissed him.
“Good afternoon, Tessa.” He winked at her.
“Hello, Laurent.” Laurent was Nadine’s lover, the one for whom she left her husband two years ago.
“Why don’t you marry him?” Tessa asked after Laurent left.
“Because I’m already married,” she grunted. “It was the biggest mistake of my life. The bastard won’t accept a divorce, out of spite, and the Catholic Church won’t let me divorce.”
She didn’t know Nadine was still married. The nuns at St. Mary’s would have a fit if they heard this. A married woman with an open lover? Must be a loose woman. Immoral. A scandal!
“I don’t care.” Nadine tossed her hair, nonchalant. “I’m in love. Laurent loves me. That’s all I care about.” She gave Tessa a glass of orange blossom. “I’m not corrupting your innocent mind, am I?”
Tessa shook her head and sipped the drink. She loved being in Nadine’s company. Nadine was so audacious. So romantic! She reminded her of the way things were back at the West End, where women knew how to live and how to love. There was no one like her at St. Mary’s. There, the girls all reminded her of damsels trapped in a castle. They never wanted to know any fire or thunder. They were like flowers in a glasshouse, never knowing any storms or wind. She would rather be like Nadine, who did what she wanted and lived as she pleased.
And who dared to live for love.
There would be love like that out there for her too, wouldn’t there?
Chapter 21
The physical training of male students for military readiness continued when the next fall semester began. Now they must take Phys. Ed. class five days a week. Every high school and college in the country had adopted this requirement, and UC was no exception. The school administration still made no explicit announcement of why this was happening, but everyone knew.
Anthony didn’t mind the additional athletic training. It was extra conditioning for swimming. Besides, he was in such good shape, Phys. Ed. was easy for him.
Not so for his classmate Warren Hendricks. Warren loathed exercise. Always had. He never liked sports growing up. And now, Phys. Ed. class was his daily torture.
Their instructor wanted them to run eight laps around the track. He had only reached the fourth lap, but his legs were already dragging. When the others started their fifth lap, he fell farther and farther behind. The instructor watched him with disgust.
“Mr. Hendricks. Get moving! We don’t have all day.”
He tried, but he was so far behind everyone, and he could hardly breathe. By the time everybody else had finished, he still had two more laps to go. The entire class stood and watched him finish last by himself. He took his final steps past his classmates’ sneering smiles. His face burned with embarrassment.
The instructor led them away from the track. Warren followed, unaware of two of his classmates walking behind him and mocking the way he dragged himself when he ran his last lap.
Anthony threw them a quick glance and watched Warren walk on.
Next came the push-ups. Warren struggled to push himself off the ground. Big drops of sweat dripped from his face down to his chin. After the eighth count, his arms gave out. He couldn’t finish the twenty counts everybody else was doing.
“Mr. Hendricks!” The instructor lost his patience. “Never mind counting on you to save the world. You’d be dead if your own life depended on it. What have you been doing all summer?”
“Sorry, sir.” Warren bowed his head. He could hardly look up to face him.
When class was over, he was the last to walk into the locker room. Tired and miserable, he kept his head down, hoping to remain inconspicuous. No such luck. A few students laughed as he passed by and one whacked him with a towel. He grimaced and shifted his body to the side to avoid being hit.
“Hey! Creampuff!”
“Twerp.”
“You’re in the wrong room. The girls’ locker room’s across the hall.”
Anthony watched them quietly as he got dressed by his locker. When everyone had left and only the two of them remained, he picked up his gym bag and went over to Warren. Warren sat slouched on the bench and paid no attention to him.
“You can build up your body,” Anthony said. “It takes time and you have to work at it, but it’s possible.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“That attitude won’t help.”
Warren bent down even lower, his shoulders and back tensed. “I know I’m pathetic. You don’t have to remind me.”
“You’re not pathetic. You need to train more, that’s all.” He walked closer to him. “I’ll help you. We can train an extra hour every morning and on weekends too.”
Warren looked up, his doubtful eyes buoyed by a trace of hope.
“At least give it a try.”
Warren opened his lips, but couldn’t let any word out.
“I’ll meet you here tomorrow morning. Early before classes start. Seven a.m. sharp.” Anthony left the locker room, not waiting for him to have a chance to say no.
# # #
Outside, Anthony took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air. It was a nice change from the boiling summer heat. He loved this time of the year. Everything was orange, good and comforting, from the gorgeous change of colors of the leaves, to Halloween and Thanksgiving, and pumpkin bread and apple pies.
The disquieting mood nonetheless remained and hovered over their campus. It was even more disturbing than last year. The student population continued to dwindle. Brandon was gone. The swim team competed only half as often as previous years. Some of the schools they competed against had suspended men’s athletic programs due to lack of participation when too many students left for the draft.
He wished something good, something less depressing, would happen for a change.
His next class wouldn’t begin for another hour. He headed to the student center for a cup of coffee and to get a head start on his reading assignments. While waiting in line, he couldn’t help noticing the student sitting at the table in the center of the room. The sunlight through the windows gleamed on her golden blonde hair, which fell neatly on her shoulders on top of her cashmere sweater. The sweater, matched with her white blouse underneath and her tailored wool skirt, made her a perfect picture of form and beauty. She would have gotten everyone’s attention even if she had sat in a corner rather than the most obvious spot here.
He watched her turn the pages of her book. Mary Winters. She was a sophomore, just a year behind him. When she first entered UC last year, his fraternity brothers couldn’t stop talking about her. A number of them had met her and a few had tried to date her. He might have tried to meet her himself if he hadn’t been so wrapped up with all the changes with the swim team and all the drama with Brandon, Nate, the CDC, and the
AFC.
The server at the food counter poured him his cup of coffee.
“Can I have a cup of lemon tea too?” He kept his eyes on her while the server prepared the beverages.
With his book bag over his shoulder, he took the coffee and the tea over to her table.
“Hi.” He put the tea down in front of her. “I’m Anthony Ardley. Mind if I sit down?”
Mary slowly glanced up. Her brown eyes were keen and sharp. Her lips turned up into a half smile. “Hello.”
She showed no surprise at all that he approached her, as if she had always known the moment would come when he would approach her.
Chapter 22
Tessa knew something odd must have happened when Carmina came to Murphy’s to look for Jack at work. Jack and Carmina had always been careful to keep their relationship secret. Carmina would not come looking for him at work if it wasn’t serious.
She came on a Friday evening. It was still early, not even eight o’clock yet. The tavern was only half full. Except for a table of crass young men gabbing and guffawing loudly like they owned the place, most of the guests at this time had come for dinner rather than for drinks. The crowd didn’t usually fill the place until later in the night. At the bar, Tessa and Henry were about to beat Jack at a game of dice when Carmina pulled him away.
“There’s going to be a big fight tomorrow night between Carlos and the Colts,” they overheard her say to Jack. “The Colts want Carlos’ people out of Moore Street. They said that’s their territory, but Carlos and his boys won’t budge.”
Jack’s face darkened.
“I tried to stop him but he won’t listen.” Carmina grabbed Jack’s forearm, her voice desperate. “This won’t be like their usual squabbles. This time, it’s serious. I’m scared for Carlos. What if he gets hurt? You have to help me. We have to try and stop them. If you can do anything or talk to anyone…”
Henry and Tessa looked at each other. They both knew Jack didn’t like to get involved with the gangs and their affairs. Jack was clearly conflicted.
“I’ll talk to Benny Flannigan tomorrow,” he told her.
“Thank you.” She left the tavern with a grateful but still-concerned face.
“Why’d you tell her that?” Henry said to him after she left. “Talking to Benny won’t help. What if he takes sides? That’ll make things worse. Don’t get mixed up in this.”
“I can’t stand by and do nothing. She’s worried about her brother.” He whipped a wet towel onto the bar and walked away.
Henry frowned. “Yeah. And I’m worried about him,” he said to Tessa.
Tessa put her hand on his shoulder and watched Jack speak to the group of loutish young men at a table. Jack’s expression grew more and more tense as they talked.
# # #
Tessa didn’t give any more thought to Carmina’s visit to Murphy’s or the gang fight she had talked about. The gangs’ clashes and rivalries didn’t concern her. Her homework kept her busy enough, and Jack always told her, Ruby, and Henry to stay out of all the gang business. The whole ruckus was far removed from her life until she visited the post office days later to mail another letter back to London.
“Jack’s hurt,” Ruby told her. “Carlos’ friends beat him up really bad.”
“Why? What happened? Is he all right?”
“He went to ask Benny for help. He told Benny the big fight was coming up and asked him to stop the Colts. I’m not really sure what happened after that, but instead of telling the Colts to stay away, Benny sent the police. The fight broke out anyway and Carlos got stabbed. Then the police showed up. They let most of the Colt members go but arrested Carlos and his gang. Beat them and messed them up pretty badly too during the arrest.”
“But how did Jack get hurt? Was he there?”
Ruby shook her head. “Jack wasn’t there, but Carlos’ people heard it was Jack who told Benny about the fight. They thought Jack did it to send the police to back up the Colts. When they got out on bail, they found Jack and beat him senseless.”
“That can’t be! All Jack wanted was to stop the fight. How could they think Jack would send the police against them?”
“It’s just the way things are.” Ruby took the letter Tessa gave her, then sighed and tossed it into the bin behind her.
Tessa thought of the day at Murphy’s when Carmina came. She had no idea then what a difficult situation Jack had in hand. “I’ll go see him.” She rushed out of the post office as fast as she could to the train station.
# # #
She came to the now familiar street where Jack lived and headed into his building, up the stairs to the small third-floor apartment. The door was ajar. The voices of people talking inside stopped her. She could see a partial view of Jack lying on the couch and Carmina standing in front of him.
“…Please don’t do this,” Jack pleaded, his voice weak and muffled. “You can’t marry Luis. You don’t even like him.”
Luis? She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she didn’t expect to see Carmina here and couldn’t decide whether she should knock or leave.
“It’ll never work out between us, Jack. Not after what happened last week. No one will forgive me if I stay with you. And if I do, where will I go? Come here? Everyone here despises me.”
“…Maybe we can elope. Let’s run away from this place…”
Carmina let out a sad, helpless laugh. “That’s a dream. You know you can’t do that. You can’t leave your mom and Henry. They need you.”
“…There has to be a way…”
“There is no way. This is what Carlos wants, and I have to show my family and everyone I’m loyal to them.”
“Carmina, please…”
“Goodbye, Jack.” She pulled the door open. The sight of Tessa standing there surprised her. Equally surprised to see Carmina face-to-face so suddenly, Tessa took a step backward and stood aside. Carmina quickly turned away and ran down the stairs. Tessa glanced into the apartment, then ran downstairs after her.
“Carmina! Carmina! Wait!”
Carmina stopped halfway down the block and looked back, her face riddled with pain.
“You can’t leave Jack! You can’t leave him like this. He loves you, and you love him.” A spark of injustice rose within her. “Who’s Luis? How can you leave Jack for somebody you don’t love?”
“It’s the only way Jack will forget about me. I don’t want him to have any more hope.”
“After all he’s done for you?” She was angry now. More than angry. She was outraged. “How can you leave him now? He wouldn’t even have gotten hurt if you hadn’t asked him to intervene. He’s hurt because of it and you don’t even care.”
“I care!” Carmina said. “If we stay together, more people will get hurt. If I stay with him, I might put his life in danger. Don’t you understand?” She hardened her eyes, then turned to go away, leaving Tessa standing at a loss on the street.
As Carmina disappeared down the road, Tessa ran back to Jack’s apartment. The door was still open. She pushed it lightly and went inside. On the couch, Jack lay limp in his worn, wrinkled clothes. His hair was disheveled as she had never seen before. But it was his face that shocked her the most. A large black and blue bruise covered one side of his cheek. His left eye was red and swollen and his disfigured lips puffed out. No wonder he sounded faint and muffled when he talked.
“Jack!” She ran over to kneel beside him. His shirt, unbuttoned, revealed bandages wrapped around his ribs. “Oh my God!” Tears swelled in her eyes as she ran her hand across his forehead, stroking and smoothing out his hair.
“Tessa…” he mumbled. He tried to smile but couldn’t. “Sorry you have to see me like this.”
She shook her head.
“Did you see her when you came up?” A tear fell from his eye. “She left me.”
She continued stroking his hair and forehead. She only wished she could comfort him.
“I used to think, if I can just save up enough money, then I can get everyone
out of this god-forsaken place. Mom, Henry, her. We could all move away to some place nicer and quieter. Don’t need anything big or fancy, just some place comfortable and away from all this crap.”
She picked up his hand and held it between her own.
“I thought, if I can just get a better job, then I can take her with me too.” He laughed. A bitter, ironic laugh. “I had this stupid thought that she and I could live in our own little place, and I could take her out to a nice dinner and a movie on weekends. We could leave all this petty gang garbage behind.”
There was nothing she could say. She could only squeeze his hand and hope it would make him feel better.
“What are they fighting about all the time anyway? Why do we have to be this group or that group? Why did she and I always have to hide? Why is it such a big deal to everyone if I want to live an ordinary, normal life with her?”
She had no answers to all his questions. She didn’t know he had all these thoughts. All the nights on the dance floor, he always looked as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He lived it up like the rest of them. Who would have known all his aspirations, and all that he wanted to do for the people he loved? Within his ability, he already did everything he could.
All this time, she never knew. How could she have been so thoughtless to have never noticed or questioned?
“Thanks for coming to see me,” he said to her. His voice waned to a whisper. “I need some time alone. Is that all right?”
“Will you be okay?” She didn’t want to leave him by himself like this.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” He closed his eyes.
Reluctantly, she let go of his hand. She touched him on his forehead once more, then closed the door quietly behind her and left.