by Alexa Kang
On the beach, Anthony couldn’t decide if he should walk any further. He was afraid if he went any closer, he might see more of her. He turned his back to the beach, but they were out here alone and it was dark. He feared something might happen to her. He turned back toward the water and watched her continue her nonsense. Before she immersed her body into the water, he could see her naked silhouette under the shining moonlight. His breath quickened.
He watched her swim back and forth, sliding through the soft waves like an ethereal sylph in the water.
“Don’t you want to come in too?” she called out from the water. “Isn’t swimming your forté?”
Flustered, he tightened his fists and walked a few steps forward. “Enough, Tessa. It’s dangerous swimming in the lake in the dark. Please! Come back already,” he shouted. “If you don’t come out now I’ll tell Father you got us into a fight. I’ll tell him everything!”
She stood up from the water and reveled at the sight of him standing there agitated and not knowing what to do. It made her laugh so hard, her stomach hurt.
When she recovered herself, she got out of the water and picked up her clothes. Still naked, she walked toward him. He took a step back and turned his face away from her.
“Could you please relax?” she said. “What’s wrong with you? Have you never seen a naked woman before?”
“Stop playing around,” he said, his head still turned away. “You’re sixteen. You’re not a woman.”
“How would you know? You aren’t even looking at me.” She put her dress back on and went back to the car.
Entirely embarrassed, he returned to the car and drove away.
Heading home, he held tight onto the steering wheel. He could not believe she would trick him this way. He wanted to tell her what she did was reckless and reprehensible, but her dress was soaked and he could see the curves of her body and her undergarments beneath the wet, clinging fabric. Her hair was drenched too. His heartbeat quickened every time he glanced at her. As the night wind blew through the car windows, he could smell a faint scent of sweet rose perfume from her dress flowing in the air.
When they arrived home, all the lights of the house were off except for the porch light. His parents must have already gone to sleep. He breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t want them to see him coming in with Tessa all wet and her dress practically transparent.
He parked on the circular driveway and they got out. Before heading inside, she came up close to him and whispered to his ear, “Will you tell Uncle William about tonight too?”
She walked away with a devilish smile on her face.
How could she? He stood by his car for a long while after she had gone back into the house.
Chapter 35
At breakfast the next morning, Anthony had every intention of letting Tessa know he was displeased. Her behavior last night was out of line beyond words. The girl had no concept of the boundaries between right and wrong. She had made him lose all sense of decency. This could not be. She must understand she could not do this to him again.
Good thing his mother had gone to a ladies’ breakfast. He couldn’t face his mother this morning with Tessa there.
His father had just finished eating and opened the newspaper to enjoy his coffee when Tessa walked in.
“Good morning, Uncle William,” she said, bright and cheerful as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
“’G’morning, Tessa.” William greeted her and returned to his newspaper.
She took a seat across from Anthony and stared him in the eyes. “Good morning, Anthony.” She made a point of talking directly to him, all the while taunting him with a smug, winner’s look on her face.
He was about to give her a stern look of admonishment. But the moment he looked at her, only one thought remained in his head.
I saw her naked…He wanted to dig a hole and bury himself in it.
“Is everything okay, Anthony?” William asked. “You look flushed. Are you ill?”
Anthony stared down at his plate. “I’m fine.”
William looked at Tessa. She looked back at him and shrugged, her expression innocent.
Anthony stuffed the rest of his breakfast down. “Excuse me,” he muttered and hurried out of the room. He could feel Tessa’s eyes following him, still smirking as if this was all a funny joke.
# # #
He could no longer look directly at her. For days after the night at the beach, Anthony could not look at Tessa without thinking thoughts he knew he shouldn’t. Whenever he saw her, the memory of her standing on the beach would return. His heart paralyzed at the thought of her silhouette under the moonlight as she turned around and smiled. The fragrance of the faint scent of her perfume lingered in his mind, refusing to let him forget.
Stop. He told himself. This was not right. He shouldn’t think about her this way.
But he couldn’t stop. When he closed his eyes, he could see her on the dance floor, her skirt swirling and flying up high. The fast movements of her legs sent his heart racing.
As if drawn by an invisible force, he came to the room on the third floor that was now her studio. Her artwork lay around all over in no discernible order. Most visible was the large canvas drying on the table against the wall on the left side of the room. It showed the West End bustling with people crowding a theater entrance.
The smaller painting next to it provided a diametrical contrast. In it, William and Sophia were strolling down the quiet, idyllic street outside of their home. He smiled when he saw that she had painted his parents, and came in closer to take a better look. She did a fine job depicting his father and mother.
In the back of the room, he found her less successful creations. Abandoned pieces of half-finished illustrations and failed attempts at abstract cubism spread on the floor on top of each other. He smiled again. He could imagine the grudging look on her face when she couldn’t achieve the results she wanted.
On the floor on the right side leaning against the old bookshelf was the painting he saw last time, the one with the redheaded woman and her lover entwined in an erotic embrace. The painting was finished. He recognized the woman now. Nadine. The bartender at Murphy’s.
What went through Tessa’s mind when she painted this? Did the woman named Nadine tell her about these things? Did Tessa truly understand what she had painted? He studied the two people in the painting again. There was so much passion in the way they looked at each other. How was she able to so artfully capture their emotions?
As his eyes traced the curves of Nadine’s body in the painting, his thoughts returned to the lines of Tessa’s body that night at the beach.
No. He turned away from the illicit image of the painting. What was she working on now? He looked to the center of the room. On the easel was a painting of waves. Not large or violent waves, but gentle, soft waves that appeared to be moving, beckoning him to come closer and reach out to touch the water’s smooth, slippery surface. Below it, a deep, seductive undercurrent tumbled and flowed, pulling him in. He touched the foam of the waves with his fingertip. He could almost feel the water enveloping him, whirling and gliding around every part of him. He closed his eyes. The image of the waves and water in his mind transformed into Tessa herself. He could almost feel the smoothness of her skin as she embraced him and her legs slid down his body.
He snapped his eyes open. What was he thinking? How could he think of her that way?
Quickly, he left the room. This was not right. His family had a duty to guard her and he must respect her. He could not lose control of himself. He hurried downstairs to get away, but it was useless. The speck of desire within him was growing and it wouldn’t stop tapping at his heart.
# # #
For Tessa, being around Anthony had become absolutely impossible.
He wouldn’t talk to her. He avoided her when he saw her. If they must be in the same room, he would stay as far away as he could from her.
Did he think that badly of her? All she did
was play a prank on him. She only meant to shake him off his high horse and mess with his mind. It was high time someone showed him what a prude he was. Besides, he deserved it, after his criticism of Nadine and the way he kept telling her what was or was not good for her. She showed him she knew how to break the rules of decency on her own without Nadine. She showed him he didn’t know anything.
But she never meant for things to become this awkward. Not only did he keep his distance, the way he looked at her was so odd. Sometimes she would catch him staring at her. If she looked back at him, he would frown and look away.
Did seeing her without her clothes on traumatize him that much?
By God. Maybe he really hadn’t ever seen a girl naked before.
Or maybe he now thought she was one of “those” women. The type of women who, as he said, one “shouldn’t associate with.”
If he thought that, then he was the one with the problem. Good thing her own friends, Ruby, Nadine, Henry, and Jack and his friends weren’t close-minded and judgmental like him.
# # #
Returning from his jog, Anthony slowed down in front of the driveway entrance to his home to rest his legs. Saturday mornings were the best. The streets were quiet and devoid of people. A warm summer breeze blew past him, carrying with it the fragrance of the roses in their garden. He took a deep breath and soaked up the sweet, pleasant scent.
In the memorial garden, Tessa was kneeling on the ground picking flowers to take to the hospital again. His mind told him to stay away and go back to the house, but the sight of her compelled him to walk toward her. She looked so different now than the child he saw the first time they met. She had grown taller. All hints of her juvenile awkwardness had disappeared. When she tucked her hair back behind her ear, she moved with such graceful softness, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She looked so beautiful.
He came up next to her. “Do you want some help?”
She looked up. Her cheeks, flushed from the work and the summer heat, looked so ripe, he wanted to reach out and touch her face.
“Sure.” She looked slightly surprised that he was talking to her, then smiled. She even looked happy to see him. “Here.” She picked up a bundle of flowers off the ground. “I already scraped the thorns off these. Would you wrap them up? Five stems in each bundle?”
“Okay.” He began wrapping up the flowers with the tissue papers she had laid on the ground. His heart raced being so close to her. Unable to look her in the face, he kept his eyes on the flowers.
“Ouch!” she cried out and startled him. “I pricked myself.”
She held up her finger. A drop of blood oozed from where the thorn had pricked her. Without thinking, he took her hand, wiped off the blood, and put her finger in his mouth. He only meant to help her clean her wound, but in that instant, he felt as if he had just kissed her.
Shocked at what he had done, he froze, unaware he was tightening his grip on her hand.
“What?” she asked, her voice confused and worried. “What’s the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?”
He let go of her hand. An awkward silence hung between them. Her face reddened and she looked away from him. “I’m almost done. I’ll finish up inside.” She picked up all the flowers and started to walk away.
“Tessa, wait!” He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She stared at him, but he had no idea what to say. He had an urge to pull her into his arms, but he was afraid of what might happen if he did. He might frighten her, or…she might laugh at him.
Still holding his breath, he let go of her arm. She took an uncertain step back, her eyes confused.
“I’ll see you later.” She turned to leave.
He watched her rush away with the batch of roses in her arms. Could this really be happening, the way he felt? Would she ever accept him?
Could it be possible, the two of them?
# # #
The uncomfortable silence between them continued at dinner that evening. Anthony could not bring himself to look at Tessa again. Tessa, too, avoided direct eye contact with him. He wished his father wasn’t out at a business dinner. With just him, Tessa, and his mother at the dining table, the awkwardness between Tessa and him was too obvious. But if his mother had noticed anything, she didn’t let on that she knew.
“Katherine’s preparing for the Passavant Cotillion.” Sophia passed the dish of green beans around the table. “The Passavant Cotillion is Chicago’s annual debutante ball, Tessa, in case you haven’t heard. Katherine plans to enroll in ballroom dancing classes. She and her friends are talking about signing up for etiquette classes too.”
“Hmm.” Tessa nodded and reached for a piece of bread.
“Anna wanted me to ask you if you might be interested in joining them.”
“Joining them for what? Ballroom dancing class or etiquette class?” She asked Sophia, still avoiding any eye contact with Anthony. “I already know how to dance. My father taught me. I can do the tango and the foxtrot. I don’t know about etiquette class, although I’m sure Uncle Leon and Aunt Anna probably think I should enter and stay there until I turn thirty.”
Anthony smiled. He noticed she didn’t mention the jitterbug.
“Join them to go to the debutante ball,” Sophia said.
Tessa put her hand over her mouth, nearly choking on her food.
“Katherine has started looking for her dress. It could be a fun experience.”
Anthony glanced up from his plate. Would Tessa go? He wondered. If she went, would someone she knew from her swing dancing escort her? The thought was enough for him to hope she would say no.
“No,” Tessa said firmly without a second thought. “No, I have no interest.”
He smiled again, but then disappointment hit him. What if she had decided to go and needed someone to escort her? Now she didn’t need an escort.
“Well, let me know if you change your mind,” Sophia said, but didn’t push her any further.
“I’m sure Katherine will look beautiful at the Ball,” Tessa said.
“I think you would look better.” Sophia poured herself more water. “You have your father’s stage presence. I think you would make a grand entrance like no one else.”
She would look better. He imagined Tessa walking into the Cotillion in a formal evening gown. What a shame they wouldn’t have a chance to see her that way.
“And we would have some wonderful photos to send to your parents,” Sophia continued.
“Oh, no. That would be the last thing I want. If my father sees me all dressed up in a frilly ball gown like a socialite, he would laugh at me.”
But she looks so stunning when she dresses up. Anthony thought. He remembered again how alluring she looked in the red dress she wore at the Melody Mill.
Perhaps feeling his eyes on her, she glanced at him. This time, he dared to look back, but she didn’t seem to understand. She lowered her eyes and turned her face away.
Could it be possible, the two of us? he thought again. From the way she reacted, he didn’t think he had much hope.
After dinner, Sophia pulled Anthony aside to speak alone with him. “Is everything all right with you and Tessa? Are you two bickering again?”
“No.” Anthony shook his head. “We’re not bickering.”
“Then why are you two acting so strange around each other?”
“We’re not.” He put on as honest a face as he could.
“You’re sure nothing’s wrong?”
“I’m sure.”
Sophia studied his face. “Okay. If you say so, I’ll believe you. But if something is wrong, you should resolve it quickly. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable living here.”
“Yes, Mother,” he said and left without giving her any more chance to ask questions.
Back in his room, he lay down on his bed with his hands clasped behind his head. His mother was right. He couldn’t take chances with Tessa. She lived here. It would not do if she felt uncomfortable living with
them because of him.
He looked at his door. Her room was only a few feet behind it across the hallway.
So close and yet there was nothing he could do.
PART ELEVEN
Cadet Nurse
Chapter 36
Tessa knew something was wrong when Aunt Sophia told her Ruby was on the phone. Ruby didn’t have a telephone at her home, and it was too early in the day for her to be at work or at the USO club where she usually made her calls.
“Hello?” Tessa said into the receiver.
“Tessa…” Ruby’s voice was shaking.
“Ruby? Are you all right? Where are you calling from?”
“I’m calling from the Chicago Veterans Hospital. Jack’s back.”
“Jack’s back?” Tessa didn’t understand. “What do you mean Jack’s back?”
“He’s back and he’s at the Veterans Hospital.”
“The Veteran’s Hospital…” The implications of what Ruby said dawned on her and she felt a chill shooting up her spine. “Is he okay?” she was afraid to ask.
“He’s…” Ruby’s voice trailed off and she could hear Ruby crying on the other end of the phone.
“Ruby? Ruby?” she cried into the receiver. “Wait for me. I’m coming.” She hung up the phone, grabbed her bag, and ran out of the house to head to the hospital.
# # #
Tessa rushed to the Veterans Hospital as fast as she could. Once inside, she slowed her steps. The closer she came to where Jack was, the less she was able to move forward. Her heart palpitated and each step became harder and heavier. She feared finding out what had happened to him.
She came to a large room filled with patients. For a moment, her mind went into a state of confusion and she could not immediately process what she saw. As she looked at all the disabled patients with arms and legs amputated lying on the rows of beds, she felt an odd dissociation from the scene. This could not be real. This was not real. How could it be that someone she cared so deeply about was here? There must have been a mistake. She couldn’t recognize anyone here. The noises around her buzzed and her vision blurred. She felt dizzy. She wanted to turn around and leave, to run and make this all go away.