So, this couldn’t help but remind me of those times.
It wasn’t a good feeling.
Noelle laughed. “No, I don’t think he was.”
I forced a smile, bringing my mind back to the present. I slapped a piece of tape on Susan's stuffed animal—she loved cats and was obsessed with getting as many of them as possible—before lifting my head. “I don’t know, he seemed like he felt pretty bad to me.”
Noelle rolled her eyes and set aside a prettily wrapped package for Cory. “Riley’s good at looking sorry when he really isn’t. That’s okay, though. I love him anyway.”
“Do you miss him?” I asked.
"Like crazy," she admitted, smiling sheepishly. "But we're kind of used to it. I travel a lot for book signings, and he does the same for his day job. Once he's published, he'll have even more traveling. But when we come back together…"
Marie leaned closer. “Yeah?”
“Reunion sex.” She sighed and picked up her wine. “It’s the best.”
I licked my lips. “Ooohhh.”
Marie groaned and set the scissors down. “You guys are killing me. I don’t have a guy who’s gone, and can give me amazing reunion sex.”
“There’s an easy fix for that,” I said, putting a bow on Susan’s cat.
"Don't," Marie groaned. She put down her wine and picked up a board book about dinosaurs for Cory. "This for Finn?"
I rolled my eyes. “Nice.”
“Sorry. I’m cranky.” She rubbed her forehead and placed the book on the wrapping paper. “I just…I don’t know. I don’t know why it keeps coming back to him all the time, or why people are trying to push us together. I feel like nothing is working out because people keep putting that thought in my head. If we were going to be together, don’t you think it would have happened by now?”
I swallowed. “Well, I mean, have you guys ever…you know…?”
“No, God, no.” She cut the wrapping paper, her blonde head lowered. “We kissed, once, in college, and then he started acting all possessive over me, so I was like, no way.”
Frowning, I thought back. “Did he?”
“Yep.”
Noelle sighed. “He was pretty young back then, though. Maybe he’s changed?”
"He's definitely changed," I agreed. "He used to be one of the most serious people I knew. Never smiled. Only spoke when spoken to. But then over the years, after he got out of the military, he changed. He's funny and talkative, lighthearted…"
Marie rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should date him, then.”
"I would if I didn't already have the love of my life by my side," I shot back. "Don't you want that, too?"
“You know I do,” Marie muttered. She lowered her head again. “He just…I don’t know. He intimidates me. The way he looks at me, it’s like if I let him, he would consume me.”
Noelle smiled. “Riley looked at me like that, too, and it scared me.”
“Finn, too,” I said slowly, remembering the heat in his eyes after our first kiss all those years ago. He still looked at me like that. Like he couldn’t live without me. “Notice a trend here?”
Marie shook her head. “I don’t know if I can do it.”
I said nothing, not wanting to press her more. Naturally, I wanted my best friend to be happy, and in my opinion, she could find that happiness in Hernandez. But if she wasn’t ready?
She wasn’t ready.
Noelle handed me the wrapped present, then reached for another from Cory’s pile. “How did you know Finn was the one, Carrie?”
I picked up the Fingerling Monkey Finn had scored for Susan. "We had a rocky start, as you know. When I fell for him, I fell hard, but he kept pushing me away. When we finally got together, he…well, to steal Marie's words, he consumed me. He was my world. I thought I finally understood what love was, and why people were willing to do anything for it."
Noelle nodded, eyes on me. “Mmhm.”
“I was there. She’s telling the truth.” Marie picked up another present. “He was all she thought about. All she talked about. At the time it was annoying, but it was also inspiring.”
Noelle nodded, all wrapping forgotten as the scissors dangled from her fingers.
"But then I found out that he worked for my dad and was protecting me for cash, so I called it off with him. Even when he begged me to give him a chance, even when he told me it had always been more than just a job between us, I didn't believe him. I couldn’t bring myself to hope again, because it crushed me, thinking I'd been nothing more than an assignment."
Marie shook her head. “All you had to do was look at that boy to see it wasn’t.”
“I know, but back then…” I shrugged. “Anyway, after we split, I felt like half of me was missing. A while after that, I got sick, and he found me. He carried me to his place, and took care of me despite his own issues with vomit—something he still has to this day.”
Noelle shuddered, touching her stomach. “Me too.”
“I guess that's when I knew. I loved Finn, and despite everything, I was ready to forgive him, so…I did. I might not have said it right away, but that was the moment I knew for me, it would always be him. At the time, I'd been trying to make it work with Riley—"
Noelle straightened. “That was then?”
“Yeah.”
Marie snickered. “Awkward.”
“Not at all, he told me about it.” She laughed. “He also told me he was in love with you for years, despite respecting and caring for you and Finn. He just couldn’t shake it.”
I blushed.
Marie chimed in with, “Yeah, he was, but he never looked at her like he looks at you.”
“How did you know Riley was the one?” I asked, trying to take the focus off my failed attempt to fall for her husband. I picked up my wine and took a chug.
“He asked me to marry him when I was going down on him.”
I choked on my wine, coughing and gasping for air.
Marie cracked up, holding her stomach and laughing so hard tears streamed down her face. I hadn't seen her lose it like that in…well, years. "Are you serious?" she finally managed to ask.
"Dead," Noelle said, grinning, getting back to wrapping. "From then on, I knew he was the one."
“Because he asked you to marry him…”
“When his dick was in my mouth,” Noelle finished for me. “Yep.”
Marie laughed again. “Why, though? Why then?”
“Because it was so spontaneous and fun.”
I lifted my brows. “That doesn’t sound like Riley.”
“I know, which makes it even more real now that I know him.” Noelle taped the wrapping paper. “When he was with me, he was a different guy, and maybe on some level, I recognized that in him, even though I didn't know it at the time."
Marie stared at Noelle, her lips parted.
"Then when I, too, found out that we weren't going to work out after all, on that awful night…" She swallowed hard. "It broke me."
I reached out and squeezed her knee. I'd been there that night, and it had been terrible to see them fight like they had. Riley had been cold, a different man, and he'd almost lost her because of that.
Marie cleared her throat. “Luckily, he came to his senses, and now we have you.”
“And I have you guys,” she said, smiling at us both.
I blinked rapidly. “I love you guys.”
“Take the wine away,” Marie joked. “She’s drunk-loving on us.”
“I’m not drunk,” I argued. I wasn’t. “I haven’t gotten drunk since college.”
Having a husband who couldn’t drink without slipping back into his bad habits kind of made it hard. We usually didn’t even have alcohol in the house, despite his ability to not touch it. I didn’t like to make it harder on the man I loved to stay clean, thank you very much.
Marie frowned. “How’s Finn been?”
"Fine. Perfect. Finn."
Noelle hesitated. “He was hooked on pills?”
I looked away from her, not liking to revisit that time in my life.
Marie grabbed my hand, this time. "They broke up, her and Riley hung out, he thought they were hooking up, and they kind of relived history. After the attack on Riley and Carrie, where he saved them—"
“Oh my God, you were with him then?” Noelle cried.
“Yeah. He didn’t tell you?”
“No. I mean, kind of.” She hesitated. “When we talked about it, I didn’t know you yet, but he told me he was with a friend who was attacked for ransom with him.” She licked her lips. “It never occurred to me that friend was you, but it makes sense, considering your fathers’ connection.”
“Yeah.”
Noelle waved a hand. “Go on. Continue.”
"Oh, right. Well, he got clean with help, and then he came back into my life, but we didn't get together right away. He'd said some awful things to me when we broke up…but when he saved me again, it all just kind of poured out, and we got back together. He went to college with my dad's help, so did I. We got married, and all was good until a little after Susan was born. He got in an accident, and acquired pain pills without me knowing…"
"Enough of this," Marie interjected. “He slipped up, they made up, now they’re happy.”
Noelle nodded. “Yeah, let’s move on.” She looked at the present she was wrapping. “Your kids are adorable.”
"Speaking of which... You guys thinking of having kids anytime soon?" I asked.
“We…” She cleared her throat. “We’re trying. We were pregnant a couple of months ago, but we lost the baby, so…”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” I dropped the present I was wrapping and crawled over to her, hugging her. Marie did the same. “I had no idea.”
"We didn't tell anyone," she said, holding onto Marie and me.
“I lost a baby, too, when I was shot.”
Noelle nodded. “Riley told me about that.”
"We're so depressing, guys," Marie said, sniffling. "It's Christmas. We're supposed to be fricking jolly. Ho ho ho, and all that crap.”
We all laughed, hugging each other closer. As we held one another, I realized that no matter how much I missed my husband, I was a lucky girl because I had friends like them.
That was never anything to take for granted.
Six
Finn
We sat at the glitzy hotel bar, everyone a few beers in while I nursed my coke. Riley’s words were slurring a little bit, and Ben was a goner. Hernandez had only had one, so we were having fun laughing at the drunk assholes. Riley didn’t usually drink around me, but Ben had insisted on having a drinking partner tonight, and Riley had drawn the short straw.
I'd never seen Riley this wasted before.
It was fucking hilarious.
"But then I said, listen here, woman, I'm the man, and I make the rules."
I cracked up. “No, you didn’t.”
"You're right, I didn't," he said, grinning. "I told Noelle I'd do whatever made her happy because I loved her, and then we fucked."
I laughed, tossing my head back. “Yep. That’s marriage for ya.”
“Truth,” he agreed.
Hernandez rolled his eyes. “You guys are ridiculous.”
“You’re just jealous because you can’t do it,” Riley said, pointing at him.
“Jealous of being married to the same boring woman my whole life?” He snorted. “Yeah, no thank you.”
“Neither of us is marrying anyone anytime soon,” Ben agreed.
They high-fived each other.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
“Have you ever been in love?” Riley asked, slurring his words.
“Who? Me?” Hernandez asked.
“Both of you, but you first.”
Hernandez sighed. “Nope. Never bit that bullet.”
“Why not?”
“Never met a girl who made me forget logic,” he said dryly. “Love is the biggest weakness a guy can have. I’m not against it or anything, but I have yet to meet someone who makes me want to become weaker instead of stronger.”
I shook my head. “Being in love makes you stronger, not weaker.”
“If she loves you back, sure.”
Riley squinted at him. “This is about Marie.”
“Jesus, not everything is about Marie,” Hernandez snapped. He looked at Ben. “Your turn to answer the question.”
Ben blinked. “What question?”
“Have you ever been in love?” Riley repeated, letting go of the whole Marie thing.
Ben opened his mouth, shut it, and opened it again. “Once, yes.”
“Tell us,” Riley demanded.
Ben sighed. “We were in high school, and I loved her with all my heart. We were going to go to school together, marry each other, have kids…but then one day, she up and decides to leave town and me. She never came back. Went to college at Duke instead.”
Riley whistled through his teeth. “Why?”
“I have no idea, to this day.” Ben shrugged. “Probably never will, since I have no intention of ever talking to her again. Even if she did come back to Somerton.”
Hernandez grimaced. “Let’s hope that never happens. I’d never hear the end of it.” He made a face and mimicked his partner. “‘Sarah said this, and then Sarah did that, and she’s so mean.’”
“Fuck you,” Ben shot back. But he ruined the angry words by laughing.
Hernandez winked at him. “In your dreams, pal.”
Riley snorted.
“Did you ever love anyone before Carrie?” Ben asked me.
I shook my head. “It’s always been her.”
“We all saw that,” Riley said.
Ben focused on Riley. “You?”
“Carrie,” Riley admitted.
“Wait, seriously?” Ben asked, straightening.
“Dead,” I said dryly.
“And you two are still friends?”
Hernandez crossed his leg over his knee. “Why wouldn’t they be?”
Riley nodded at me once.
"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?" I echoed.
Ben blinked, saying nothing.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out. Carrie was Facetiming me. I held it up for the guys. “Speaking of Carrie…”
“Answer it,” Riley said, grinning. “I might get to see my Noelle.”
I swiped the screen, grinning when Carrie's face popped up. Her cheeks were pink, and she was very smiley, so I suspected she and the girls had hit the wine tonight. I always felt guilty that she didn't drink much because of me, but she assured me she didn't give a damn. "Hey, Ginger."
She smiled wider. “Hey yourself. What are you up to?”
“Hanging with the boys.” I panned the phone around, showing her everyone, and they all waved at her. “You?”
“The girls.” She did the same, showing me the mess our living room was in. Presents, wrapping paper, scissors, and tape covered the Mahogany wood floor. “We’re wrapping presents.”
I lifted a brow. “I see that.”
"Show me my wife," Riley called out.
I rolled my eyes, but when Carrie handed the phone to Noelle, I did the same with Riley. He lit up when he saw her, and immediately stood up and walked off with my phone.
“Unbelievable.” I gritted my teeth. “He stole my Facetime.”
Hernandez laughed. “Yep.”
The waiter came, and we all ordered coffee. It was time for two of us to sober up. We had our big tree lighting ceremony tomorrow afternoon, then it was back home the next morning.
I couldn’t fucking wait. I missed my wife.
Riley came back and handed me my phone. When I glanced at it, I wasn't sure what or who would be on the other end, but it was my wife. She'd left the living room, and was climbing the stairs
. I grinned at her. "Whatcha doing?”
“Heading to our room. The girls went on a pizza run.”
I frowned. “They’re sober enough?”
“They Ubered it.”
I relaxed. “Good.”
“Can you excuse yourself?”
I glanced at my buddies. “Yeah…”
“Then do it.” She went into our bedroom, flicked the light on, and bit her lip. “You owe me a naughty Facetime session, you know.”
My dick instantly hardened, and I glanced around to make sure no one heard her. Of course no one had. They were too busy ribbing one another to listen to our conversation. “I’ll be right back, guys.”
They all nodded, not really paying attention to me.
Even if they had heard her, I still would’ve gone.
I made my way to my room. As I entered the elevator, she laid on the bed, holding the phone over her face. Her red hair cascaded all around her like a halo, and I wished more than anything that I was there with her, so I could touch the silken strands. She licked her lips and trailed her fingers down her shoulder. “Are you alone?”
Biting my tongue, I nodded.
Lifting the phone a little more, she touched her breast, lowering her hand over her stomach, and down between her legs. “I miss you, Finn.”
“I miss you, too,” I managed to croak.
The doors opened, and I hurried through them and down the hallway to the left, reaching my room in record time. As I entered, I turned the lights on and locked the door.
She moved her fingers over herself, moaning. “Hurry up, I’ve got a head start.”
I kicked my shoes off and stumbled toward the bed, undoing my pants as I went. “You’re so damn hot, Ginger. It won’t take me long to catch up.”
"Good," she whispered breathlessly. She slid her skirt up, showing me her black panties. Her manicured finger worked over the satin, in slow, big circles. She was teasing herself, not ready to go over the edge yet. If she wanted to come, she'd be moving faster with shorter circles.
We both knew that made her come faster.
Groaning, I closed my fist over myself, watching her as I pumped my shaft. She bit her lip, quietening a moan, and demanded, “Let me see. I want to see you.”
I’ll Be Home for Christmas: An Out of Line Novella Page 3