“You never seem worried. You’re always so calm, except when Eddie fell off the zebra, but that doesn’t count because it was an emergency.”
“I was glad you were there. You were the calm one. Sometimes, though, I’m not so sure of myself as I might seem to others. Sometimes I sit alone in the apartment and wonder how Eddie is going to survive his mother’s nervous breakdown. Other times, I feel pretty good about the future.”
Luke fell silent for a while, then said, “I guess we all go through that. Ever since I discovered Brittany, I’ve been the same way.”
“You’re going to be fine. Do you know when the agency is going to do a home visit?”
“No, but I hope they’ll be here by the end of next week. If not, Brittany is moving in anyway. I’d just like to get everything straightened out legally.”
“Is her birth certificate changed?”
“It’s in the works. I’ve submitted everything to the Florida officials. Her airline ticket is purchased—one way from Orlando to San Antonio.”
“That’s good. That makes it seem much more real, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, it does, and it’s kind of scary.”
“Just keep her safe, well fed and happy. The rest will fall into place.”
“Lord, I hope so. I feel like the most ill-prepared father in history.”
Kate laughed, even though she didn’t feel so amused. “No, I believe Ed Wooten was the most ill-prepared father in history. And, unlike you, he had no interest in improving. Unfortunately for Eddie, and for me, I didn’t see that until after he was already born.”
“Do you regret having a child?”
“Never,” she said immediately. “Eddie is wonderful, and you’re going to feel much more relaxed as soon as Brittany moves in.” She hoped Luke believed her.
THEY STOPPED for an early dinner on the way home after checking with Travis to make sure Eddie was okay. Luke encouraged Kate to order a margarita or whatever she’d like, since he was driving and drinking iced tea. She remarked about getting out so seldom, then ordered a chardonnay. Kate was a good mother, an intelligent woman and deserved to go on more dates. Not that they were dating. He was simply treating her to a meal after a successful shopping trip, enjoying her company before they each returned home.
She’d get herself back together soon. She’d start that teaching job she mentioned, get her own place and then find herself another husband. Someone to give Eddie a little brother or sister.
The idea of Kate with another man left a bitter taste in Luke’s mouth that not even a gallon of sweet tea could eliminate.
Once their food arrived, they commented mostly on the meal and stopped talking about anything personal. That was fine with him. He needed a little space to remind him that Kate wasn’t the kind of woman he dated. She wasn’t loose or flamboyant. She didn’t sleep around. She wasn’t casual about anything, especially sex.
After he paid the check and they walked out to the late-afternoon sunshine, Kate squinted against the bright light. The unpaved parking lot was uneven and on a hill, and after only one glass of wine, Kate seemed a little intoxicated. He offered his arm and she took it.
She actually giggled as she clung to him. “I don’t ever remember being this silly after one glass of wine,” she said as they walked side by side up the hill.
He didn’t mention that it had been a very large wineglass. “You deserve to be a little silly once in a while.”
As they neared the truck, she tripped on a root and toppled against him. He grabbed her shoulders and steadied her as she laughed up at his startled expression. She looked so young and happy and carefree that he smiled backed, then grinned. “You’re tipsy.”
“I know. And you’re cute.”
Surprised, he chuckled at her comment, but then she reached up and touched his cheek—that dimple that was about the only feature he shared with his father—and all his good intentions evaporated. His smile faded as her eyes got that come-hither look and he captured her finger in his hand. Bringing it to his lips, he kissed the tip, then sucked the end into his mouth.
“Umm, dessert,” he murmured.
“I think I’m too tipsy for this,” she whispered.
“I haven’t had a thing to drink, but I don’t think I can sober up in time.”
“In time for what?”
“In time to stop myself from doing this.” He leaned down and captured her parted lips in his, kissing her deeply as he pulled her body against his. She molded herself tightly to him, then wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
“Luke,” she whispered when he came up for air.
“I’m right here,” he said, nibbling beside her mouth.
“This feels so good that it must be wrong.”
Chapter Twelve
This was wrong. She was so right. They were supposed to be resisting these urges to kiss, and instead he’d jumped right into the feelings.
He stopped kissing her and leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. You’re right. You’d think I was the one who’d had wine instead of iced tea. All I can say is that you make me tipsy.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet.”
“There you go again, calling me sweet. As I see things, I’m the guy who’s trying to seduce you in a restaurant parking lot in broad daylight.”
“You’re trying to seduce me?”
“Oh, never mind. You don’t have a bit of self-preservation. I have to be strong for both of us.”
“I think that would be a very good idea,” she agreed.
He took her arm and steered her toward the truck. “We’re going back home—our individual homes—before I do something very unprofessional.”
“Another good idea,” she said, suddenly sounding much more sober. “As soon as we get back to reality, this attraction thing will go away.”
“Right.” He helped her into the passenger side and thought to himself, wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. That’s what his desire for Kate was. This crazy attraction wasn’t going away. He’d just have to control it, because they had one more week before he had to be ready for Brittany.
He didn’t have time to get involved with any woman…and especially not someone like Kate, whom he couldn’t walk away from after a couple of nights. Kate didn’t have any experience with meaningless flings. He wasn’t going to enlighten her on how to love ’em and leave ’em.
BY THE TIME Luke pulled into the driveway by her garage apartment, Kate’s headache had begun and her mortification was complete. She’d made a complete fool of herself in the parking lot of the restaurant. Right in public! What had she been thinking?
Nothing. That was the problem. She’d only been feeling, letting her emotions get the better of her due to one glass of wine. One! She couldn’t really blame it all on the alcohol. She had a deep and abiding weakness where Luke Simon was concerned.
She had ever since he’d ridden into town that day. She’d never been attracted to tall, dark and dangerous men. Maybe she should have dated a few before she married the seemingly perfect man. Maybe she was spreading her wings after years of a bland marriage. Perhaps Ed’s disinterest in her, his disrespect for their marriage, had made her see life—and men—differently. Maybe.
“Are you okay?” Luke asked as he turned off the engine.
She nodded as she sat there in the early evening, with the sunlight filtering through the hackberry and cottonwood trees and fluttering around the dashboard of the truck like demented moths. “I’m fine. I’ll just go get Eddie and…I have lots to do.”
“Will I see you tomorrow?”
She looked up at Luke. “Of course.”
“I wasn’t sure. You’ve been awfully quiet after…”
“I’m sorry about that.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I keep…well, acting inappropriately. You must think I’m some kind of desperate divorcée who throws herself at men.”
“You didn’t throw yourself at me. You just flirted a little. Let’s blame it on
the wine and try to forget it.”
“Do you think we can?”
“I definitely think we should.”
“Okay, then.” If he could, so could she. She hoped.
He smoothed a strand of hair back from her cheek. “Maybe you should get a good night’s sleep, take a day off tomorrow and we’ll begin over again on Monday.”
His touch felt so good, so right. She wanted to lean into his hand and stay there forever. She jerked upright. No, she didn’t. She wanted to be independent, to start her life over with a new career. “Yes. That sounds good. Everything will be back to normal Monday.”
“Right,” he said as he reached for the steering wheel.
“Okay, then. Thanks for the dinner. I think Brittany will love the furniture, and I’ll see you on Monday.”
Luke nodded and sat there, staring out the wind-shield and not at her as she opened the door and hurried toward her brother’s house.
Travis met her at the back door, Marsha in his arms. Kate smiled at the baby and gave her loud kisses on the cheek, making Marsha giggle. Eddie had to be watching television; she heard the set on in the family room.
“That was interesting,” Travis said with a frown as she slipped through the door and walked toward the family room.
“This isn’t a good time to pick a fight,” she said.
“I’m just curious about this professional relationship you claim to have with a man who makes all those emotions flash across your face.”
“You shouldn’t be spying on me,” she replied in a low voice so Eddie wouldn’t hear as she turned to confront her brother. “And you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know what I saw. Is he putting pressure on you to do anything you don’t want to do?”
“Of course not! He was a perfect gentleman.” She’d been the instigator.
“I just want you to be careful. You haven’t dated since Ed—”
“No, and I’m not dating now.” She stood a little straighter and continued talking before Travis could say anything else. “I’m sorry I was gone so long. We had a lot of shopping to do. We had to go all the way to the north side of San Antonio to find the furniture we needed, then to the outlet mall, and by then we were both hungry.”
“Gee, sounds like you two are setting up housekeeping.”
She threw up her hands in desperation. “That’s ridiculous. I’m taking my son home now.”
Travis sighed. “Just listen. Sometimes when you look at Luke or talk about him, it’s like back when you didn’t know why guys wanted to get you alone in their cars.”
That stopped her. “It is not!”
“Yeah, it is, and it kind of scares me.”
It scares me too, Kate thought as she hurried toward her son. But like Luke had said, they’d forget about it and focus on their other relationship. The one that wasn’t a minefield of painful repercussions.
ON MONDAY Luke was visited by a child-welfare official who reviewed his home, the renovation almost finished, and listened to him explain his plans for himself, his ranch and Brittany. He had to have said the right things, because the woman was smiling when she left and said she’d forward a copy of her report to the Florida court.
He breathed a sigh of relief when her sedan pulled across the cattle guard onto the road.
“How did it go?” Kate asked, coming through the front door. She watched the departing car also.
“Fine, I guess. She was friendly.”
“Hmm. She probably enjoyed spending time with you.”
Luke frowned. “What does that mean?”
Kate took a deep breath. “Never mind.”
“You’re jealous!”
“I most certainly am not!” She turned and went back into the house. “I simply made an observation. Now I’m going to get back to sorting these books for Brittany. As soon as the furniture gets here, we need to get it in place and add the accessories Robin picked out.”
He followed her into the newly painted bedroom that Brittany would inhabit in just about a week. “Do you think we made the right choice? White furniture doesn’t seem too practical for a kid.”
“On the contrary, the furniture is cream, not white, and if she does get it dirty, you can see the smudges and clean them. Or have her help you clean it. Dirt doesn’t show up as much on natural or stained wood, so really, it can become much more dirty.”
“Okay, but what about the whole ocean theme? I was thinking something more to do with animals.”
“You mean mammals, and that’s your passion, not necessarily hers. Robin and I both agree that the ocean theme will make her less homesick for Florida.”
“I don’t even know if she likes all those fish the artist is going to paint on the walls,” he said as he looked at the ocean-blue paint above a sandy-tan color at the bottom of the wall.
“She’ll love the total look. There will be fish and dolphins cavorting through this ocean, and seashells and starfish and other creatures on the sandy bottom.”
“Still, maybe we should have gone with the circus idea.”
“Not all children like circuses. You’re projecting.”
“Projecting?”
“And worrying.”
He frowned. “Maybe. I want the room to be perfect.”
Kate placed her hands on her hips and faced him. “Tell me this. What are you going to do if she doesn’t like it?”
He thought for only a moment. “Offer to change it?”
“Right. So besides the expense of hiring the mural painter and buying the bedspread and curtains, there won’t be a problem.”
“I suppose. But I want her to love her new room.”
Kate took him by the arms and looked into his eyes, her expression serious and determined. “No, you want Brittany to love her new dad. And she will. Believe me, she will.”
Kate was right. He did want his daughter to love him. He’d never wanted someone’s love before. He’d always been sure of his mother’s love. His father—well, he’d been just as sure of the bastard’s disinterest, until it was too late. However, the uncertainty of Brittany’s feelings made him wish all this was over and everything was perfect and he could get on with life, everyone happy and healthy.
“You’re going to be a great father.”
He wished he could be as certain as Kate.
KATE HAD FELT the tension escalate all week as the furniture was put in place, the accessories added, the kitchen put in order and the mural completed just in time.
Brittany would be here tomorrow afternoon.
Kate had left Luke’s ranch to pick up Eddie from school. They went to Robin’s Nest to get a welcome gift for Brittany, then stopped for fast food before going home. Even Eddie seemed excited, but tired. She hoped he’d sleep well tonight because she was exhausted.
Or maybe she wasn’t so much physically exhausted as she was tense with anticipation. Despite all her efforts and assurances, Luke still had doubts. Personally, she thought he was doing great, but it was impossible to convince someone that he was competent, had excellent instincts and would succeed beyond his expectations.
As Eddie watched one of his favorite shows on television, Kate relaxed in a tub filled with warm water and vanilla-scented bubbles. With any luck, she could get to bed right after Eddie. She closed her eyes and thought about the past two weeks. Luke was such a nice man. Even when he was worried sick and faced with unfamiliar obstacles, he kept his patience. He didn’t rant and rave, or get moody or surly. And despite their ill-advised kisses, he hadn’t taken advantage of her weakness for him.
So, she thought as she eased deeper into the water, to recap: Luke was determined, patient, even-tempered, noble and, most of all, a fantastic kisser.
Her eyes snapped open. No, that’s not what she was supposed to be thinking! She was such a confused mass of memories and emotions.
After tomorrow, when Brittany was safely here and Luke could relax, things would return to normal. She’d enjoy spring break with h
er son, go back to substitute teaching and only see Luke around town or if Eddie got a wild urge to visit the animals. Maybe they could arrange some play time for Brittany and Eddie, if the children got along. It was hard to say because a two-year age difference was huge when kids were six and eight.
Two years wasn’t such a big age difference when the people were thirty and thirty-two. Not that she should be thinking about that, either.
The water started to cool, so she shaved her legs quickly and finished scrubbing with the exfoliating puff Jodie insisted she use daily. Her sister-in-law was a fount of information about beauty and skin care, some of which actually seemed practical, and not just for women interested in attracting men. Which Kate wasn’t. At least not in the near future.
She and Eddie shared a couple of shortbread cookies and two glasses of milk before his bedtime. Dressed in her soft cotton short pajamas, she was already getting sleepy when the phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Kate, it’s Luke.”
She heard the barely controlled panic in his voice. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Everything. Maybe nothing. I’m just not sure I’m ready for this.”
“You’re ready. You’re doing great.”
“That’s easy for you to say. Brittany isn’t going to be judging you.”
“Judging? No, that’s not what she’s going to do.”
“How can you be sure?”
Kate had a feeling this conversation was only going to get more intense. She couldn’t reassure him over the phone. He was stressed out, understandably, and needed her.
But she shouldn’t see him now, especially since it was night and they never saw each other except in broad daylight.
“Luke, you’re going to be a great father. Remember how well you’ve interacted with Eddie? How I’ve mentioned you have great instincts?”
“That’s fine, but I already know Eddie. And Brittany is a girl, someone I’ve mostly just talked to on the phone.” Kate’s heart went out to him because she knew how much he cared. She wished Eddie’s father cared half as much as Luke about relating to his child.
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