“Why you gotta play like that, Novie? Her name is Heather. But what the hell are you doing heading to Javion’s?”
“No, I’m going somewhere else.”
“Wait, I knew something was up with your little phone call. What’s the matter? You been spendin’ every weekend up in your little love nest. And now you goin’ somewhere else? Do I need to get my little cousins to fuck him up, with his young-looking ass? Oh, let me guess. He lied about his little age? I told you that nigga was a twenty-five-lie. What is he, seventeen, nineteen?”
I bust out laughing. He really was a very, very young-looking twenty-five. I gave Denise a quick recap of my day, leaving out the part about Shandy and the baby.
“Well, damn, how are you going to get all that shit cleared up? You can’t turn yourself in. There’s no guarantee that they’ll believe you,” Denise pointed out the obvious.
I took a deep breath, paused, and exhaled my answer into the phone.
“I’m going to Krypton.”
“Oh, hell to the naw. I know you ain’t talkin’ about Kryptonite, Novie.”
I cringed even though she couldn’t see me. The tone of Denise’s voice said one hand was on her hip while she gave every word with a self-righteous head wiggle.
“Kryptonite in the flesh,” I answered weakly.
“I’m coming to get you because your ass is obviously on somethin’. That nigga is off-fucking-limits. Sammie is gonna kick your ass, and he’s gonna skin that nigga alive when he finds out what you’re up to.”
My teeth tugged at my lower lip. Just thinking about Swiss put a smile on my face.
“That’s why my dad ain’t gonna find out,” I answered in a smart-ass tone.
There was also a chance that Swiss could help me with my problem since I didn’t get a chance to ask my dad for help.
“Novie, miss me with all that. You are way too forgiving after what you went through . . . and that nigga . . . You’ve always been too forgiving.” She took some of the harshness out of her voice. “I know you still have your little feelings for Swiss, but does Shandy know you’re still messing with her brother? Family or not, Swiss ain’t never been shit and never will be. Girl, we were barely out of high school. How many men go around fuckin’ they baby sister’s only best friend in the whole world, just to fuck her over? Only my no-good, bullshit brother would do that. You had to let go of a man, but she let go of family behind that shit. Wrong is wrong. You shouldn’t pick something up after God’s smacked it out of your hand.”
Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I was always deeply grateful but guilt-tripped, knowing Shandy was loyal enough to cut her own brother off. She was obviously stronger than I, I thought. I couldn’t cut him off completely, and every time I did, I somehow found my way back or he found me.
I cleared my throat. “You know I was just having a moment. Talking to you about all that actually helped. The moment has passed.” I lied to get her mind off the subject.
The line beeped in my ear. “Speaking of the devil. Javion’s callin’ me. Probably to apologize and clear all this up. I’ll let him buy us a few new Michael Kors purses or something before I fully accept his apology.”
“Yassss. That’s my bitch! I need a new clutch too. Make him get one in pink boa or some exotic shit. Hit me back if it sounds like he can’t fix this.” Denise all but oozed into the phone.
Instead of answering Javion’s call, I turned my phone completely off. It only took me six sticks of spearmint gum and thirty minutes to make the drive from DC to Woodbridge. My jaw was sore from chewing so much gum, but I didn’t want to get to my destination smelling like Smokey the Bear. I promised myself a smoke on the way back home, and that eased some of my anxiety.
If there was one thing my momma always told me, it was to make sure I kept a spare tire. My palms got hot and sweaty on the steering wheel at the sight of Swiss’s muddy work truck sitting in the driveway. I gave my hair a quick check in the mirror. The steam from my bath knocked all my curls out, leaving me with no other option than to tuck the sides behind my ears.
The front door swung open as I walked up to the house. He stood in the door in a pair of oil-stained coveralls barely hanging around his waist. Despite my conversation with Denise, I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. Swiss was my spare tire. We’d been off and on for the last three years, but we could never claim each other, so we’d fall together, and then we’d fall apart. Swiss always called it an understanding. I called it stubborn denial.
“I missed you, Novie-star!” Swiss sang out my name in his deep, raspy voice returning my smile. “Am I off punishment?”
His thick bottom lip was drawn in between his teeth as I climbed the last step toward him. I stepped into the heat of his body, inhaling the smell of him. It was masculine, metal, motor oil, almond butter, and sweat. His locks were loose, hanging down the middle of his back, brushing against my hands wrapped around his shoulders.
There was a low rumble in his chest when he pulled back and cupped an ass cheek in each hand. He slowly dragged me toward him the way a bulldozer pulls earth. He parted my lips with his and fucked my mouth with his tongue. Shockwaves danced across the tops of my teeth. He stole my breath and breathed it right back. It was some kind of tantric CPR. Swiss was the only man in the world who could tell me exactly what he’d do to my pussy without ever saying a word. When I was panting, soaking wet, and wobbly, cool air replaced the heat of his lips.
“You can’t be leavin’ a nigga like that,” he said in a quiet voice, pressing his forehead against mine.
“I know,” I whispered. “I missed you too.”
His warm gingerbread-colored eyes stared hard into mine. He seemed more bothered or hurt than usual. I was stubborn, always put up a fight, and he was trying to figure out why I was throwing in the towel so easily this time. My eyes felt hot thinking about everything. I’d been working extra hard at avoiding him. The last time we were together, I felt myself falling for him, and I panicked. Swiss swore that he was ready for me and a family, and that he’d tell my dad everything. He said he’d quit working for the family, get a regular job, and it’d be us. I was the one who got cold feet. I did what I had to do to move forward, and then I turned all my attention toward Javion, hoping he could erase Swiss’s name off my heart. But Javion was only good for keeping my mind busy. All his kisses and caresses couldn’t make my body stop yearning for Swiss. As long as Swiss was in the picture, my mind and my pussy would never align with the same guy.
I stared at the goose bumps rising along his chest. They matched the bumps that circled his dark nipples. “I’m kinda sort of in trouble,” I told him.
He tilted my chin up with his thumb. The corner of his mouth quirked up into a half smile. “So I heard through the underground gossip line. Don’t even worry about that bullshit. I’ll handle it for you.”
NOVIE
9
The Fairer Sex Never Plays Fair
Now that that was taken care of, I could focus on another pressing matter. I pressed my hand against Swiss’s chest, urging him backward into the dark living room. The contact from his bare skin radiated through my fingertips, down my wrists, and through my elbows. He pinned me back against the front door the second it closed. His lips rained kisses down the side of my neck. We were getting a semicool breeze through the window, but it wasn’t enough to keep me from breaking into a sweat.
He peeled me out of my T-shirt, covering my skin with kisses as he went.
“It’s a li’l humid in here. My AC on the fritz. That’s what I’ve been working on,” he said while unzipping my jeans.
“I know you’re still good with those hands.”
He kneeled to tug my jeans down over my hips, past my thighs. “I had to keep myself busy since you weren’t around for me to feel on.”
I tangled my fingers in his soft locks, tugging them just a little. “Are you too tired to work on this, or no?” I asked.
My jeans hit the floor. Swiss wrapped o
ne of his hands around my neck. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it was just enough to make me want more of him. He’d come close to kissing me before backing away in the sweetest form of torture I’d ever experienced. I let him know how much I liked it by dragging my nails along his back.
He had a way of taking complete control of me whenever I was with him; my mind, my body, and my senses. His finger blazed a ridiculously slow trail of heat up my inner thigh. The pressure building in between my thighs was so much it was almost painful. He was slowly parting my lips, teasing me at first, letting his finger explore the soft, sensitive skin around my already throbbing lips. I was already wet and ready. Swiss growled when he felt it, returning his finger to my mouth so I could taste myself. He licked my lips as he shoved two fingers deep inside me, and I swear I almost exploded right there on the spot. Before I could get too close, he kneeled between my legs. I squirmed underneath the hot slickness of his tongue running up my inner thigh.
“You know I ain’t never too tired for you,” he answered.
His hands were in all the right places at the right time. He palmed my ass, squeezing each cheek in alternating rough circles. My hips moved with him, circling toward him. Swiss buried his face in between my legs. He inhaled a long, deep breath, letting me feel his nose and the air he was taking in brush against my most sensitive parts. When he exhaled, he groaned. And it was a long, hoarse, deep sound that said, I missed you, and I want you, all at the same time. It rumbled against my clit and sent ripples of feel-good up my body that shot all the way up to the hairs on top of my head.
My panties dug into my skin before giving away with a loud rip. My legs were already feeling shaky, and the nigga hadn’t even touched me for real yet. The last time I came good and hard it was by my own hand. Swiss closed his eyes, rolling his tongue across my skin slow and steady. His tongue dipped into the liquid heat between my legs and the world stopped. Swiss slurped and sucked up my juices until I couldn’t hear anything except the sound of him enjoying his meal. I could feel electric points of light at the roots of my hair. They surged down my spine, arching my back, ending at my feet and shooting out of the tips of my toes. This nigga was my tour guide as I rode the tip of his tongue. He dragged me closer to the edge, sucking my clit slow and steady before flecking it with his tongue. Before I could dive off the edge, Swiss stood. The heat from his hands scorched my skin. He palmed my ass, sliding me roughly up the length of his body.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my ankles together behind him. He crushed my lips with his, and I kissed him back with the same fierceness that he gave me. He was just as long and hard as I remembered. Before my mind went completely blank, I couldn’t help thinking briefly about how he’d spoil me paying hundreds to get the best tables and the best seats whenever we’d go out. But this dick right here was the best seat in the world to me.
* * *
I don’t remember falling asleep, but I drifted in and out through most of the night. It was muggy and Swiss’s big-ass body was like a damn furnace. He had me tucked into his side with his arm draped across my bare hips, but as sweaty as I was, I was too comfortable to move. I’d had plenty of arms hold me, but none of them felt exactly right. Not like this did. But unlike every other time where I’d run back to Swiss with the hope that we’d work and be okay, I was coming to the realization that if I wanted to be happy with him, I’d have to do it in secret or lose my father’s respect.
The bed shifted. Swiss leaned over me bracing himself on his elbow. He ran the tip of his finger over my eyebrows, tracing their shape. It was all good until he headed toward the tip of my nose, tickling me. I scrunched up my face, and we laughed as I tried to wiggle myself away. That got him growing hard and hot against the side of my thigh. I was trying to pick the perfect moment to ask him for help. Every minute I waited was a minute wasted. I’d gotten picked up when I was fourteen, so my prints were in the system. It wouldn’t be long before I got found out. I reached down, giving him a soft good morning pat.
“Ahh, just because you’re up, you think I wanna be up too?” I teased him.
“You the early bird. You know yo’ ass was already up. Plus, I’ve got the best seat in the house right here waiting for you,” he teased me back, placing kisses on my shoulders that led up to my lips.
I smiled at the nickname I’d given him from years ago. It was something I did with all of my boyfriends. In my opinion, naming a man’s dick was like taking sole proprietor ownership of that bad-boy. Especially if he started calling it the name you gave it, you all but trademarked it.
Swiss leaned back, putting all his attention into plucking at a frayed thread on the sheet.
Something was on his mind. I didn’t have to press him for details, though.
“How my sister been doin’? I mean, y’all really think she’s gonna be all right with a . . . a . . .” Swiss was always hard to read. He was never one for showing his emotions. His face was blank, but the tone of his voice was distant and sincere.
My mouth opened and closed a few times. Loyalty to Shan made me clam up. She would have a fit if she knew where I was, let alone talking about her. But he’d never asked about them before. The least I could do was ease his mind.
“Shandy is gonna be fine. She has Momma to help her, so I’m guessing the two of them will make it work. Some chicks are made to be mommies.” My voice caught in my throat. I turned away from him, focusing on the clumps of black dust piled along the edges of the ceiling fan blades. Yeah, Swiss and me always fell back into place, but not once had we ever talked about what displaced us to begin with. That was the bad part of the movie we both skipped over, because neither one of us wanted to watch it.
Swiss grabbed my hips, pulling me in close. His mango-lime-scented locks washed across my face, tickling my cheek. The fresh stubble on his chin was scratchy against my skin as he buried his face in my neck. My arms instinctively went around his broad back. I distracted myself, pretending my finger was a tattoo needle. I absentmindedly wrote my name over and over in his skin, hoping it would sink in and imprint on his heart the way his name was tagged all over mine.
“I am so sorry,” Swiss’s voice was muffled against the side of my neck.
My body stiffened, my finger stopped mid-O. I’d heard him, even though I didn’t want to. Five years was a long time to wait for an apology. It never ceased to amaze me how my eyes could water just a little and drain every ounce of wetness from my mouth. He let me push him away from me. Tears that I didn’t want to cry, that I shouldn’t even have had, left, sliding down my cheeks. I dragged the sheet up toward my chin like a shield, glaring at him out of the corner of my eye.
Clenching my teeth against the tightness in my throat, I said what I’d practiced in my head over a million times for five years.
“Nigga, I was only eighteen, and you left me. I was pregnant and you—”
He reached for me, “I know what I—”
“Do not interrupt me!” I couldn’t hold back anymore. I let go and reared up, slamming my fists into his chest, slapping his face. He could have stopped me, but he didn’t. My nostrils flared wide, my eyes were glazed over from tears and years of things unsaid. I wore myself out and stopped to catch my breath. We both sat back on our knees, facing each other. Red handprints formed all over his chest and shoulders.
“You don’t know what you did!” I screamed into his face, jabbing the tip of my nail into his stony cheek. “I had to find somewhere to go to get an abortion where nobody would know who I was. I’m the one who stays up at night wondering if I did the right or the wrong thing all because I was too scared to do it without you.” I hopped to my feet, standing no farther than a breath away from him.
Swiss was so sick with guilt he couldn’t even look me in my eyes. He should have been weighed down with all the guilt—the one wearing all the emotional scars, not me.
I clapped my palms together circling him. “You should have manned up and taken care of us. Nobody else. You!�
� I screamed in his face. My throat was raw from yelling, and I wanted to—I needed to make sure my words sank into his dumb head. I took a breath to calm myself down.
Ever since I was thirteen, I’d been training at commanding Daddy’s soldiers. Yelling was the attention getter, but quiet storms raised fear; they were memorable. Ignoring my nakedness, I got down in front of Swiss, planting my elbows on my knees. I gave him the same disgusted look Daddy gave dudes when their count was off or they got caught trying to skim off the supply. He shifted in place, his eyes drifted from mine to the floor and back uncomfortably. His hood ass understood that shit.
I let out an exhausted chuckle.
After all these years, it was finally out there, hanging in the air mixing with the dust, our sweat, and the lingering smell of sex. I hated him for being a coward, and I hated myself just as much for still loving him. The air mattress hissed as I dropped back onto it, tired from venting. Swiss’s shoulders slumped forward. He moved like gravity was working against him as he dropped down next to me.
“Don’t . . .” I started to argue when I thought he was leaning in for a hug. He laid his head on my stomach, facing away from me. I stared at the top of his head in disgust. I wanted to fight this out. I didn’t want to feel bad for making him relive his lowest moment.
I could feel cold wet spots from his tears on my stomach, but I refused to acknowledge them. I’d cried an ocean and three rivers altogether. His fifteen crocodile tears wouldn’t kill him.
“Now that we’ve finally aired out our issues, do you think we can do this for real this time?” he asked. “Sammie’ll be good as new in a couple of days. He can get someone else to watch his back, and I can tell him that I’m in love with you.”
My heart jumped up into my throat. I was still trying to process the whole list of shit we’d just thrown into the air. I wasn’t ready for this kind of talk.
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