by Regine Abel
The flood of Amalia’s thoughts shocked me. First, because I hadn’t meant to read her – at least, not intentionally. Second, the cold shards of deception and betrayal stabbed at me. I had openly confided all my secrets to her. She’d kept hers close to her chest. Worse, she’d deliberately misled me.
Whatever expression currently sat on my face made her realize something was off.
‘What’s wrong? Why is she…?’
Amalia’s gaze dropped to my hand still resting on her wrist.
‘She’s reading me!’
I pulled my hand away from her skin as if it burnt me. Her eyes flicked back up to mine. All warmth left them. The green specks in the sea of gold glimmered as her irises darkened.
I went on the attack.
“You lied to me,” I hissed.
“I did not.” Amalia’s voice could cut through stones.
“I bared my soul to you, told you everything.” My voice was gravelly, almost growling. My season made me more aggressive. “You not only kept secrets, you deliberately answered in a way that allowed me to continue believing in lies.”
“You did bare your soul,” Amalia conceded with a stiff nod. “And while I appreciated it, that doesn’t make you entitled to reciprocity. My secrets are mine to give when I see fit, not yours to take at your convenience. You of all people should be repulsed by the mere thought of violating others.”
My cheeks burned. Her words echoed too closely those spoken by Zhul.
“I hadn’t meant to read you. It was an honest accident,” I bit back, refusing to be shamed into silence. “It was wrong of me, but you misled me on purpose. Why would you hide the presence of other Veredians from me?”
“Because those are not my secrets to give,” she snapped. “If my Nana wanted her presence known, do you think she would remain confined to the estate? Secrecy is the only thing that guarantees that those of us who have been freed remain so. You may be Veredian, but I don’t know what kind of brainwashing you’ve been exposed to.”
I recoiled. “You think I’d betray you? No Veredian would ever betray another sister!”
“Wrong.” A strange look flickered through her eyes. “The Tuureans have encountered a few Veredian assassins during some of their most recent rescue missions. They all had warrior markings like me but their minds had a single focus; kill Tuureans.”
A sick feeling rose in my stomach. I hugged my midsection, feeling angry, ashamed, and confused.
I looked at the Veredian markings on her arms and legs. The pattern identified her as warrior. Back in Veredia, although she wouldn’t have been forced into a military career, her natural aptitude for combat would have likely led her into that field. My own markings identified me as a nurturer. Vahleryon’s though, didn’t match any known Veredian pattern. The Goddess only knew what he was. That Guldans had started turning our warrior breed into assassin commandos was worrisome.
The strong impression of someone observing me made me turn around. Sitting at a table across from Lhor, Zhul’s eyes weighed heavily on me. The slight frown marring his crihnin told me he could feel – or is it see and hear? – the tension between Amalia and me. My stomach twisted further and I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat. Things had just started getting better between us. I couldn’t risk mucking it up now.
I cast a nervous glance at Lhor. His electric-blue eyes quietly assessed me. I gave our mates a shaky smile before turning back to Amalia. Worry gnawed at me. Although she didn’t strike me as a spiteful female, she could make things difficult for me and she knew it.
“You did the same to him, didn’t you?” Amalia’s voice and expression softened again. “And now, he struggles to trust you.”
The unexpected kindness made my eyes sting. It was the same voice my mother used to explain that she wasn’t angry at me for what I had done to that Korlethean. Although actions have consequences, she believed I had been too harshly punished for my curiosity.
I nodded, unable to speak through the tightness choking me.
“Both friendship and love require your willingness to take a leap of faith,” Amalia said. “You can never be certain what the other thinks and wants. We go in blind and rely on our other senses and our reason to assess if that person is who they claim to be – if they are right for us.”
“But you can never be sure. I can be. Why wouldn’t I do it? Wouldn’t you want certainty over doubt?”
“Tell me, Valena, do you think Lhor loves me?”
Anyone with eyes could see he adored her.
I nodded.
“Do you think Khel loves me?”
Again, that could never be questioned.
“I see your point. But not everyone finds mates such as yours.”
“And how is that an excuse?” She tilted her head. Though the question was tough, her tone wasn’t. “Jhola and Sivh, our housekeeper and groundskeeper, also adore each other. They cannot read minds. My Nana and Dr. Minh love each other. They can’t read minds, either. Our willingness to make a commitment to someone, despite the unknown is a testament to the depth of our feelings.”
She grabbed my hands in hers and flipped them so my palms faced up. Her gloved thumbs traced my life line.
“Zhul cannot read your mind. Yet, of your own admission, he’s put his entire life on the line for you. If you were in his shoes, how would you feel knowing the person you loved only committed because they knew they had you right where they wanted you?”
I pulled my hands out of her grip. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Wasn’t it?” Amalia asked? “Would you have given yourself to him so soon had you not read his mind?”
No.
“Would you have asked him to become your mate after two weeks?”
No.
“Without your ability to read minds, would you have given him the time to earn your trust instead of immediately manipulating him?”
No.
I didn’t need to answer any of these questions. Each one made me ache even more with shame. When I sent out Pouki to lure Zhul to me, it was purely for my own purpose. I would have used him, then discarded him, hopefully not too damaged. Falling for him had changed everything. But would I have fallen for him had I not been able to read the beauty of his mind and the strength of his feelings for me?
I wanted to believe the answer was yes. But I would never know.
Amalia smiled gently and patted the back of my hand. “Don’t be so sad. I kept secrets from my mates, too. Khel wasn’t amused when he found out the hard way about my ability. Especially since I had just given him the mother of all guilt trips for keeping secrets from me.” She chuckled at my stunned expression. “And he almost had to throw me in the brig for high treason when I used my ability to play a prank on Lhor.”
“No way!”
“Yes way. I was a walking disaster.” She smiled fondly, reminiscing. “I gave my mates – especially Khel – a million reasons to leave me. Yet, they remained steadfast.”
Amalia glanced at our mates helping Vahl with a set of puzzle blocks. The awed expression on Zhul’s face pulled at my heart. We deserved a child of our own.
“Our gifts are both a blessing and a curse,” Amalia said, looking at her gloved hands. “Khel gave me a chance, knowing I had the ability to hack into the military’s most secure systems.” She looked up at me, her eyes flicking between mine. “Your ability is part of who you are. Your true mate and your true friends will embrace everything that you are, even this. Just show that you can be trusted not to abuse it by simply not abusing it.”
She made it sound so easy. Could it truly be that easy? How did she resist the temptation of using it, though? I looked at Zhul who’d gone to fetch himself something to drink. The short tunic didn’t hide his toned legs. The thought of how they felt rubbing against mine sent a surge of lust through my belly. The hem of the tunic barely reached him mid-thigh. My skin heated at the knowledge he wore no underwear beneath it. I wanted to feel my hands roaming all over him
. Chewing my bottom lip, I pictured myself nipping at his erect nipples. Those sexy hisses of pleasure-pain he made when I bit, pinched, or clawed him drove me insane.
Amalia’s laughter snapped me out of my lustful daze.
“Someone’s in her season.”
Her smile was half-mocking, half-sympathetic. It didn’t make me feel any less embarrassed.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“You were purr-growling and looking at Zhul as if you wanted to feast on every inch of him.” She gestured at my arm with her chin. “Plus your markings are a couple of shades shy of you going into the ‘I’m about to ravage the fuck out of him’ mode.”
My jaw dropped at her crudeness. The burning in my cheeks felt as if they were about to burst into flames.
She giggled at my dismay and waved in a beckoning gesture. “Zhul,” she called out.
“Yes?” he answered, coming our way.
I was mortified.
“Relax,” she whispered to me in a conspiratorial tone. “I just finished my season last week. Poor Lhor is still raw from my assaults.”
I almost swallowed my tongue.
She faced Zhul with a mischievous grin. “Your mate is about to jump your bones. As my son is still underage, I would rather spare him the spectacle, if you get my drift.”
I buried my face in my hands.
Shoot me now.
CHAPTER 22
Zhul
Morning found me with Valena’s warm, naked body wrapped around mine. She shifted with a soft sigh. Her reddish-brown hair tickled my skin with its gentle caress. My arm circled possessively around her. She fitted so perfectly against me, I couldn’t imagine a future that didn’t include both of us.
Losing our child had been a severe blow. I saw the fear in her eyes that I would blame her for it.
How silly. But I never would.
All it did was strengthen my desire to give her one… no, not one, but many children. Seeing little Vahleryon made my heart ache. The way he looked at Lhor and called him Papa woke a rabid hunger deep within me I didn’t know lay dormant. I’d always wanted offspring but didn’t realize how much.
But above all, I wanted them with the female lying in my arms.
In the six weeks since our captivity, I’d been getting to know Valena all over again. She wasn’t as perfect as when she could read my mind and therefore react exactly the way I wanted. Although I reveled in it at the time, my every instinct told me it had been unnatural.
But that didn’t make me care for her any less.
In truth, while I occasionally missed our almost symbiotic interactions, I liked the real Valena more. Her little flaws and weaknesses made her unique and all the more appealing. Assertive females turned me on. Valena’s life of slavery had buried that aspect of her, but it lurked beneath the surface. From time to time, her dominant side perked up and I fucking loved it. But knowing it happened of her own free will rather than my wishful thinking made it all the more sexy.
She shifted again, her hand coming to rest over my heart.
Her gloved hand…
Sadness and guilt tugged at me. Her lies still hurt, but like she’d said, it was done and I needed to get over it. The question was how did we move forward? I couldn’t condemn her to wear gloves for the rest of our lives. They were yet another form of prison. But how could I trust her to respect my privacy? Of her own admission, she’d read Amalia by accident a couple of nights ago. Her confession both surprised and touched me. I had suspected some tension between them but they seemed to work it out quickly. I knew she was trying hard to fix things between us as well, and that meant more to me than she realized.
Valena turned her head and kissed my chest.
My hand gently ran up and down her back. “Good morning, my darling.”
She didn’t respond but proceeded to pepper my chest with kisses. Laughter rumbled through me but died in a choked gasp when her teeth latched onto my nipple. Trepidation sent spasms through my abdominal muscles. Any time now, she would bite the stiff nub or suck on it hard enough to burn. Anticipation of the impending sting sent blood flooding my groin.
Nip.
I hissed in pleasure and my cock jerked in response. She soothed the gentle abuse of my nipple with her tongue while her hand slipped between my legs. I parted them slightly, giving myself over to her.
Fucking gloves…
Despite the smoothness of the leather, it was her bare palms I wanted fondling me.
“Take them off,” I whispered.
She froze, then lifted her head to look at me. Her eyes flicked between mine, worried.
“But… I risk…”
I cupped her face, my thumb resting on her lips.
“Shhhh… It’s okay. If it happens, it happens. I need your hands on me.”
The look of pure adoration and gratitude she gave me stole my breath away. I knew then, whatever our problems, we would work them out.
“Give me your hands.”
She complied, pressing her lips together to control their trembling. I removed the first one then kissed her palm. Valena made a choking sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. Her eyes misted as I lay her hand down against my heart. I repeated the same with her other hand before resting it against my cheek. We stared at each other in silence.
“I am sorry for turning my back on you and on our vows at the first sign of trouble.”
She took in a shuddering breath. I covered her hand with mine and her fingers tightened over my heart.
“You were right – Hall of Records be damned. We committed to each other. You are my mate and I am yours. However much time it takes, we’ll sort out our problems together. There will never be another for me but you.”
Valena smiled through the tears that trickled down her cheeks. She lowered her face and kissed me. Our tongues mingled. Tentative at first, her hands began roaming over my skin.
Goddess, how I’d missed this!
It had been too long since I had felt her hands on my naked flesh. Each caress left a blazing trail behind it. With only a couple of days left in her season, her aggression levels had diminished. That didn’t make her any less insatiable and impatient.
She rubbed her palm over my cock.
“Yes,” I whispered against her lips.
The silky heat of her hand wrapped around my length. She held me in a tight squeeze while stroking me. I moaned, thrusting my pelvis up in counterpoint to her movements. I held the back of her head as her lips found their way to my neck. She licked, kissed, and bit my pulse there. I wished she would bite harder.
She didn’t.
“Harder,” I breathed out.
She did.
I moaned even louder then ran my fingers along her pitch-black markings. She shuddered with a growl of pleasure. Her teeth clamped down even harder on my shoulder while she raked her nails down my chest.
I cried out. “Ah, fuck!”
It burned. It hurt. And, Goddess, that felt good. Precum seeped from my slit. It took everything to hold myself back from spilling. I tried to push her onto her back to pleasure her, but she resisted. With a threatening hiss, she slammed my shoulders back against the mattress with both hands. She straddled me, our sexes aligned, and rubbed herself against me. The warning look in her eyes dared me to challenge her dominance.
Like I would even want to.
I grabbed her breasts, squeezing and fondling them. She threw her head back with a rumbling purr. Her hands covered mine, pressing them more firmly against her chest. After rubbing herself a couple more times over me, coating me in her juices, she grabbed my cock and guided me inside her.
Goddess she felt good.
Without pausing, she began to ride me with desperate fury. I wouldn’t last. Her bouncing breasts made my mouth water. I tried to sit up to catch a mocha nipple in my mouth, but her palm on my chest forced me back down. Slipping a hand between us, I massaged her engorged little nub with my thumb. She cried out, her fingers digging into my shou
lders.
Valena picked up her pace and I met her halfway, thrust for thrust. The heavy sound of our breathing mingled with the slapping sound of flesh meeting flesh.
Our climax seized us at the same time. She collapsed over me, trembling. We kissed while her walls throbbed around me. Slipping my lips down to her neck, I drank from her. The oxytocin in her blood sent another blast of lust through me. My softening cock hardened again. I injected her with my Thylin and flipped us around so she lay beneath me. She shuddered as my venom coursed through her.
Blinded by lust, I took her again, hard and fast.
“Yes, yes!” she cried out, her hands digging into my back.
We both found our release again. Our skin slick with sweat, we lay in each other’s embrace trying to catch our breath.
As awkward as it would be, I needed to speak to Lhor. Valena’s reaction to my Thylin worried me. So did the effect of her oxytocin on me. For now, though, it could wait. I closed my eyes and reveled in the closeness of my mate.
* * *
My worries turned out to be unfounded. That didn’t make the conversation any less uncomfortable.
“Based on Amalia and Maheva’s reaction to Thylin, your mate’s response is normal,” Lhor said, smiling at my embarrassment. “Veredians take a few weeks to adapt before the high becomes less overwhelming.”
“But what of her oxytocin?” I asked. “It felt amazing before, but now it makes me…”
“Horny?”
Lhor laughed as my cheeks burned. The fiend seemed to derive malicious enjoyment out of my discomfort.
“When Amalia was in her season, drinking from her also made Khel and me ravenous for her. We suspected the hormonal change might be the reason. Until you, we couldn’t confirm it since Maheva no longer gets her season.”
I looked at him in horror. “You’ve questioned Amalia’s great-mother about her sex life?”
“How else would we compare biological reactions between a Veredian and Xelixian?”
I shook my head. “Goddess…”