Wild Inside (Four Corners Book 2)

by Artemis Anders

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Just like that.”

  Asher kept at it. Then, as if feeling constrained by the awkwardness of their position, he released her from his tight grasp, putting his hand on her back and pressing. Diana followed his lead, bending forward and leaning on the gritty sandstone ledge with her hands. Asher grabbed her hips and thrust into her again, the strange new angle sending her reeling, offering up a pleasure beyond anything she’d ever felt.

  Asher grunted and began going at her even faster, and Diana held on to the rock, letting it ground her as he found her pleasure spot over and over. Finally, he grabbed a mass of her hair and pulled, hard enough to nudge her head back but not so hard that it hurt. With that, Diana began losing control of herself, until she let out a high-pitched cry of ecstasy when it all came crashing upon her like a massive ocean wave. She rode that wave until another came, then another, and another after that, until Asher climbed his own peak and buried himself deep inside her with a quiet cry, his hand still gripping her long hair.

  Diana rested on her hands, catching her breath and waiting for the stars to clear from her vision. Asher released her hair and she felt the tension go out of him, hearing only his own attempts to catch his breath. He pulled out and put his arms around her, pulling her up from her bent-over position, hugging her close as they remained still for a moment, breathing in the quiet darkness.

  Diana, overwhelmed with it all and having no idea what to do or say, began searching the ledge for her clothing. She found her panties and started to put them on, stumbling due to her wobbly balance. Asher caught her, and both finished dressing in silence as Diana tried to gather her wits. His pants back on again, Asher disposed of their protection by storing it in a plastic bag. He resumed his seat on the ledge, stretching his legs in front of him and patting the area between them. Diana pulled herself onto the ledge and scooted between his legs, leaning back against him as he gathered her in his arms. They silently watched the stars for a while, Diana’s emotions flooding her like the rush of the Colorado River during spring melt-off.

  What the hell was that?

  What the hell was going on between them? That wasn’t just two people having great sex. That wasn’t just the sunset, the starlight, or the fact that they had exposed themselves on public land. That was… something else. Something she didn’t understand.

  She waited for Asher to speak. To ask her how she was, how she felt about their little tryst, to even ask her if she was okay. But he didn’t. He remained silent, holding her, his eyes aimed toward the heavens.

  There they stayed for a while, until it was time to head back down the trail. They hiked down, their headlamps on, Asher leading the way and lighting their path, but remaining uncharacteristically silent. She didn’t need him to talk… she was too overwhelmed to speak as it was. But it wasn’t like him.

  Was he just shocked that she’d let him screw her senseless in a national park? Did it fly in the face of his idea of her as the prim, family-minded good girl who’d claimed to eschew casual sex?

  On the drive back, the starlight illuminated the rocky landscape, making Diana feel like she was on another planet. Asher still said nothing at all. He only held Diana’s hand, glancing over at her now and again, probably wondering who she really was. Did he feel like she did? Not that she knew exactly what she felt, other than overwhelmed and confused.

  And what he’d said. About her amazing him. Maybe he’d gotten caught up in the moment. He was probably regretting his words now, now that he was sexually spent. They’d gotten too close and now he needed space.

  Diana sighed. She wouldn’t make it hard on him. After all, he didn’t owe her anything. And maybe some space was better for her too. Yes, she loved his company, and yes, things had progressed beyond what they expected, but they knew this couldn’t last. They’d never said so, but they didn’t have to. Both knew the truth from the start.

  When they got back to town, Diana said, “You should probably drop me off at Mel’s.”

  Asher scowled, but only momentarily. His eyes remained on the road. “Is that what you want?”

  “I know you have to open the shop in the morning.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  Diana made a face, annoyed at his irritable tone. “Why are you angry?”

  Asher glanced over. “Sorry,” he said, his tone quiet again. “I didn’t mean to sound angry.”

  “I just thought maybe you might want some space.”

  “Why?”

  Diana hesitated. “I don’t know.” She really didn’t, at that moment.

  “I’d like you to come over,” he said quietly.

  Diana stared for a moment. He wanted her to come over?

  She squeezed his hand. “Okay.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Diana woke Sunday morning in Asher’s bed. The space beside her was empty, but she heard the distinct sound of splashing water. Asher was in the shower.

  She got up and made herself some tea before getting back into bed. She pulled out her phone to browse Facebook, and there were tons of fun weekend posts. Her brother and kids at a fall festival, her biking friends on some trail near Junction, her Red Rim friends hammered and laughing at Desert Starlight last night when she and Asher were sitting under the stars. When things got… intense.

  She shook her head. She wouldn’t think about that now.

  She continued scrolling until she came across a post from Carrie, an acquaintance Diana hadn’t seen in years. She’d posted a picture of a newborn baby, and Diana smiled at the sweet little thing and felt happy for Carrie, who she hadn’t known was pregnant. But when she read the headline and saw two names tagged, Diana realized the baby didn’t belong to Carrie.

  It belonged to Diana’s ex-husband. They’d just had their third child.

  Diana closed her eyes, her throat tightening. When she opened them again, the photo remained on her phone, taunting her. She’d heard about the first two babies through the grapevine, a grapevine that wasn’t especially long when you grew up in a town like Junction. But this was the first time Diana had seen one of the babies for herself, and it felt far worse. Especially when she’d done everything she could to avoid him and any reminder of what had happened between them.

  “Morning.”

  Startled by the voice, Diana immediately put down her phone. Asher stood there in nothing but a towel.

  She forced a smile. “Good morning.”

  “Sleep well?” He still looked a little pensive, like he had last night.

  “I did. Time to head to the office?”

  “Soon.” He sat down on the bed. “What are your plans today? I can probably get to the festival by four…”

  “That sounds good,” she said, trying to sound normal.

  He eyed her. “You okay?”

  She nodded.

  Asher’s eyes narrowed. “No, you aren’t. Was it last night? Did I push it too far?”

  She shook her head, offering a real smile this time. “No. I had an amazing time.”

  He looked relieved. “Good.” He lightly stroked her leg, traveling up to her stomach. He stopped at a small, half-inch scar on her abdomen, then another. Her scars from laparoscopic surgery. “Battle wounds?”

  Diana’s throat tightened again, and her emotions began to get the better of her. “I’ll be right back.”

  She went to the bathroom and relieved her full bladder, hoping that doing so would give her time to gather her wits. She couldn’t deal with this. Not now. Not in front of Asher. But the flood came nonetheless, finally overwhelming her. She stifled a sob as a couple of tears ran down her face. She covered her mouth with her hands and tried to make it stop, but the pain only grew more intense. She let a few tears escape, hoping that a brief cry would get her by for now, until she left Red Rim and could really let it out and cry and curse all she wanted.

  But the tears wouldn’t stop. They flowed until her nose ran. Then, a knock at the door.

 
“Diana? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Don’t bullshit me. Is it something I did?”

  Diana stayed silent, unable to move and not knowing what to say.

  “Diana.” Asher’s voice sounded louder and more commanding. “If you don’t fucking answer me, I’m coming in there.”

  Diana knew Asher’s threats were out of concern, rather than something more sinister. To put him out of his misery, she stood up and opened the door. When he saw her tear-stained face, he looked alarmed. “What’s going on? You’re scaring the shit out of me.”

  Diana walked past him and began dressing herself. “It’s not you, or anything you did. I just… I just saw something on Facebook that upset me.” She barely got her undies back on before she gave up and sat down on the bed.

  Asher sat next to her. “What did you see?”

  A few more tears fell. “That day at Mariah’s office, when you waited so patiently while I told her my history with endo, I didn’t tell her everything.” She took a deep breath. “I was married once. We wanted to have kids, tried to have kids… but endo does a number on your fertility. We tried everything and it really stressed our marriage. Plus, I was in pain all the time and he didn’t understand. He always thought it was in my head or that I was making it worse by ‘stressing’ about it. He didn’t get how bad it can be. Finally, I got pregnant, and then…” She stopped, unable to say any more.

  “You miscarried.”

  She nodded, tears welling up again. “And another time after that. It nearly destroyed me, and my husband… he couldn’t take it. He left. And within no time, he met someone else. I heard that they’d had kids, but I never… I never had to see it. Today, an old acquaintance posted a picture of their third baby.” Diana put her hands over her face as the floodgates fully opened and the grief hit her hard.

  Asher took her in his arms and held on to her while she bawled. Finally, after most of the storm had passed, she sat up again and wiped her eyes. “Endo ruined my marriage. It ruined my fertility. It even ruined my recent relationship. Even if Mariah’s treatment works, I’m thirty-five and the odds of me getting pregnant go down every day.”

  “How did it ruin your last relationship?”

  “After a bad bout of pain, after the doc told me I needed surgery, I talked to Matthew about it. I knew the surgery would create a window of opportunity, fertility-wise. He seemed onboard with that. But I had to acknowledge that it might not work—it didn’t before, and I was younger then. So I brought up adoption. He turned into such a jerk, saying that adoption is going too far and no man wants a child who has some other man’s genes…. That wasn’t the only reason we broke up, but it made me angry.” She looked at Asher. “I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to heap on you. But all I’ve ever wanted was to become a psychologist and to have a family. And I don’t think the family thing is ever going to happen.”

  Asher reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Of course it’ll happen. Even if things don’t work out for you to have your own kids, there are plenty of kids in this world who need a home, and the agencies will take one look at you and your credentials and give you all the damned kids you could ever want.”

  “You really think that?”

  He nodded. “I know it. And to be honest, your ex-husband sounds like a dick, and your ex-boyfriend doesn’t sound much better. Raising kids is the most important job in the world, and you don’t want to do it with some asshole who doesn’t appreciate you.”

  “Would you adopt a kid? I mean, assuming you changed your mind and decided you wanted a family? Would you ‘tolerate another man’s genes’ if you had to?”

  Asher stared at her. “I am another man’s genes, Diana. I’m adopted.”

  Diana’s jaw dropped. “You are?”

  He nodded. “I get it, alright? I get wanting your kid to have your genes. But taking on a kid someone else isn’t ready to care for and giving him or her a home? That’s like ten times better than your own kid, in terms of making the world a better place. Who the fuck knows where my life would be if my folks hadn’t adopted me. And as far as your failed relationships go… that’s not your fault.”

  “It was hard on my husband. I didn’t handle it well.”

  “So what?” he said, his eyes lit up with emotion. “How hard is it to see that if someone’s in pain, there’s a reason? You don’t have to understand the reason. You just have to have compassion. I don’t know why that’s so fucking hard for some people.”

  Diana couldn’t help but smile. “I love it when you get fired up.”

  Asher chuckled. “Yeah? Well, you know me. I don’t hold back.”

  She caressed his face. “Thank you, for being so sweet.”

  “Any time.”

  Diana heaved a big sigh. Poor Asher. He just wanted to have fun, and here he was dealing with all her emotional baggage. “You’re smart. Your desire for freedom means you get to avoid all this drama.”

  He made a face. “You make me sound heartless. I’ve had my heart broken.”

  She giggled. “Yeah? By who? The one girl who wouldn’t sleep with you?”

  But he didn’t laugh. “No. By the girl I wanted to marry, but didn’t because instead of marrying me she fucked my best friend.”

  Diana stared at Asher as her smile faded. “Are you serious?”

  “Yep.”

  She covered her mouth with her hand for a moment. “Oh, Jiminy Christmas, Ash. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be so insensitive.”

  He shrugged. “People make assumptions about me, too. Just like they do with you. They think you’re some hot girl who can’t ride a bike or sleep outdoors, and they think I’m some douche who’s incapable of love. And I let them. It’s none of their business anyway.”

  She took his hand. “I never thought you were incapable of love. I just… you’re so confident in yourself and in your decision to avoid the trappings of traditional adult life. I would never have guessed you’d experienced something that awful because it doesn’t show.”

  He didn’t look that convinced. “When you met me, you didn’t think I was some player who loves nailing girls for sport?”

  Diana bit her lip. “Okay, maybe at first. But you made a snap judgment about me, too. And, you did everything you could to play up that image of yourself. You looked at me like you wanted to strip me bare and screw my brains out.”

  He was silent for a moment, before he grinned. “That’s because I did.”

  She gave him a playful shove. “It didn’t take long for me to see that you were far more than that. And if that girl who hurt you couldn’t see how amazing you are, then she was stupid and not worthy of you.”

  He shrugged. “I was too young to be married anyway. I was young and naive and she did me a favor. I like my life. It’s just… sometimes I feel like I let my mom down. My brother’s the good Mormon boy, with his wife and his kids and his involvement with the church. But I can’t do it. I can’t be that guy.”

  “You don’t have to be, Ash. You’re an extraordinary man the way you are and you do a lot for people. You’ve made my life better.” She gestured at herself. “I mean, look at me! I haven’t had any pain worth complaining about in weeks. And, I do not believe in casual sex, and how many times have I done it with you now? I let you screw me in a national park for crying out loud! Do you think I’d bend that rule for just anyone?”

  It was true. She’d broken a lot of rules for him. And now she knew why. Because he was everything she’d just told him he was, and more.

  Asher gazed at her, his eyes stormy. He leaned over and kissed her, his hand buried in her hair. When he pulled away, his expression hadn’t changed. “Diana—”

  A knock at the door cut him short. Asher made a face. “Who the hell is that?” He sighed in annoyance. “I’ll be right back.”

  Diana quickly dressed herself, just in case. She heard Asher talking to someone. A woman. She couldn’t hear any s
pecifics, until the woman raised her voice and said something about them spending time together. She was upset because Asher had let her down somehow. Then the door shut and their voices disappeared. They’d stepped outside.

  Diana went to the living room and peeked out Asher’s blinds. She shouldn’t look. Shouldn’t listen. But she couldn’t help herself.

  The woman was petite, blonde, and athletic looking. She was angry, but it didn’t take an expert to see that behind the anger was genuine hurt. Asher put his hands on her arms, talking to her as she looked up at him, listening to every word. She even smiled once and he stroked her hair, the way he’d stroked Diana’s hair.

  A stab of jealousy ran through Diana. Who was she and what was she doing here? Diana knew she should back away from the window. Asher wasn’t hers and what he did when she wasn’t around was none of her business. They had no understanding, no commitment. And it was clear by this woman’s behavior, and the way Asher then hugged her and held her to him, that he meant something to her, and she to him.

  Diana finally stepped away from the window, a bout of nausea hitting her. She went to the bedroom and began making the bed. When Asher came back inside, he gave a long sigh, glancing at her with a guilty look.

  “Sorry. Long story,” he said, like it was no big deal. He glanced at his watch and cursed. “I’m late for work. Can I give you a ride back to Mel’s?”

  She shook her head. “I’ll walk. I could use some fresh air.”

  “You sure?” When she nodded, he grabbed his keys and gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll call you later so we can meet up at the festival.”

  Diana nodded.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Diana walked back to Mel’s, images of what transpired between Asher and the blonde woman flashing through her mind like a bad movie.

  What the hell happened? She came to Red Rim to have fun with Mel, to go to Desert Starlight and to go mountain biking. Next thing she knew, she and Asher were dancing together. Having sex in his truck. Spending the night together. Hiking the far reaches of a national park and doing… whatever that was. Breaking down that morning after seeing her ex’s baby. Then that blonde showing up, just as Asher seemed ready to say something important…