Table of Contents
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Epilogue
Loose Id Titles by Ceri Grenelle
Ceri Grenelle
Croft Holidays 1:
TRICK OR TREAT OR KISS ME
Ceri Grenelle
www.loose-id.com
Croft Holidays 1: Trick or Treat or Kiss Me
Copyright © October 2016 by Ceri Grenelle
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eISBN 9781682522295
Editor: Kerry Genova
Cover Artist: Victoria Miller
Published in the United States of America
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Dedication
To the awesome little girl who insisted on wearing her Star-Spangled Banner dance recital costume for Halloween, even though it made her look like an American Flag tube sock.
Chapter One
Nettie Croft watched her nephew, Richard, and her niece, Dani, place themselves in the optimum position on her neighbor’s porch. They looked back at Nettie with serious, no-nonsense expressions, nodded at her, then at each other. They were ready. Richard stepped forward and rang the doorbell. No one answered, so he did it again. And again. And again. Footsteps traipsed along hardwood floors inside the house, locks unlocked, a doorknob turned, and hinges squeaked. The door opened, and Nettie’s eyes widened as a grumpy angel exited the house.
Light-brown skin with contrasting intense, pale green eyes. His hair a dark chocolate, the strands loosely curled on top and sides shorn short. There were strands of caramel oddly scattered across his head, beard, and eyebrows, giving the tresses an ethereal glow. But what she found the most confounding was the adorable way his ears stuck out. It was as though a master painter had seen his beauty and thought this man too perfect to live, and gave him protruding ears. The element of imperfection didn’t detract from his beauty. If anything, it only served to further highlight the stunning features. And he was tall, so tall. A man tall enough to match her five-foot-eleven frame, and he lived right next door.
“Trick or treat!” Richard and Dani yelled.
The man was either a god or a devil. A sexy, dark, and dangerous devil she wanted to flirt with endlessly for the pure joy of it. Oh the things she would do with that body. Her face turned red as innumerable thoughts raced through her mind. She licked her lips, then smiled, pushing her long hair over her shoulder in slow and practiced fashion. She took a breath to say hi to her neighbor.
Then she remembered her niece and nephew were standing in front of her with large orange pumpkin buckets held aloft. Right. Flirting shamelessly would be inappropriate in front of the children. Shit, it had been way too long since she’d had sex. Her hyperactive libido was taking over her brain.
“Can I help you?” the man asked, looking down at the kids in annoyed confusion, then back up at Nettie. His voice was light and airy, almost melodic in his intonations. What had she done for fate to land such a sweet deal?
“Trick or treat,” Dani said again, a frown forming as she thrust the pumpkin bucket out farther.
“Please simulate giving them candy.” Nettie gestured to the kids. “I’m your neighbor, by the way, Nettie Croft. This is my nephew, Richard and my niece, Dani. Welcome to the street. What’s your name?”
“Trick or treat.” Four-year-old Dani stood on her tiptoes, trying to put her orange bucket level with Richard’s, never allowing herself to be outdone by her ten-year-old big brother.
“Joshua,” he said distractedly. He kept looking between the kids and then back to Nettie. “I don’t have any candy.”
“We know, now trick or treat!” Richard was getting frustrated at this point as well. Nettie thought it best to cut off the shenanigans now before her new, unbelievably hot neighbor decided to call the police. It wouldn’t have been the first time that happened when she watched the kids. In her defense, they were crazy. She blamed her sister, as was her right to do as an aunt.
“You need to simulate getting the candy and putting it in the bucket.”
“Why?” he asked, like it was the most preposterous idea. “Halloween is next week.” He looked down at them again, even more bewildered than before. “They’re not in costume.”
“We can’t spoil the surprise,” Richard said, rolling his eyes like the answer was obvious. Nettie had to laugh at her nephew’s attitude. Unfortunately, the stoic Joshua didn’t seem to think her precocious nephew as amusing as she did.
“What do I need to do to get my porch back?”
“Trick or treat!” the kids screamed.
“I told you, put some candy in the buckets.”
“Air candy,” Dani said with a stomp of her foot.
“Fake candy,” Richard added. If he tried to raise the bucket any higher, he would pull a muscle.
Joshua stared awkwardly at Nettie for a minute, his wide mouth a thin line and his eyes narrowed. His lashes were so thick. “You’re my neighbor?”
Nettie pointed to the small colonial next door. “That’s me, Nettie Croft.” She’d already said her name, and now she sounded like a parrot. “I saw the moving trucks last week but no owner.”
“My stuff got here before me.” He glowered at her for another half second before looking down at the kids and sighing. “Just great,” he muttered, then to the kids’ delight, simulated putting candy into their buckets. “There is candy.” He looked back at Nettie with a deepened scowl and asked, “Why are you fake trick-or-treating?”
“We’re practicing,” Dani said with a smile, clutching her bucket to her chest.
“We do it every year,” Richard added.
“Every year. Great.”
“I’m sorry if we disturbed you,” Nettie said as Joshua turned to go.
“Is this the only practice session before the actual Halloween night?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Good.”
He slammed the door in their faces. What a dick.
“Well, he’s not that attractive after all, is he?”
“What’s attractive?” Dani asked.
“Nothing. Let’s go practice at Mrs. Berkin’s house. She’s much nicer.”
“She smells weird,” Dani said on a belly giggle, laughing at her own joke.
“She smells that way because she eats a plant that makes her act silly.” Nettie didn't know how to talk to small children about old ladies smoking weed
“Can I have some?” Richard asked.
“Not until college,” Nettie said with a grin. She couldn't wait to tell her sister about this conversation.
As they walked down the neatly manicured path, Nettie turned back to the large house. She’d been so excited to finally get a new neighbor, bumping her down a spot as newbie on the block. But a taciturn, albeit gorgeous, neighbor was not what she was looking for. The kids only wanted to practice their Halloween route, and he’d slammed the door in their angelic faces.
What person with a soul does that? No amount of good looks can excuse someone from being an ass.
“C’mon, Aunt Nettie!” Richard and Dani were already across the street, ringing smelly Mrs. Berkin’s doorbell. Nettie followed and met them on the front porch right as the door opened.
“Oh!” Mrs. Berkin cried, clapping her hands together upon seeing them with their buckets. She knew the drill and loved to play along. Practice trick-or-treating had been a tradition before Dani was born. Richard liked to have the best routes planned out.
“Trick or treat!” the kids cried, smiling.
“Well hello, hello. What scary or beautiful or handsome or fierce costumes you have on. Whatever it is this year I’m sure it will wow the neighborhood as your costumes always do.” She looked at Nettie with a wink. “That sister of yours sure is impressive with a sewing machine.”
“Mrs. Berkin,” Dani cried, getting impatient.
“Oh, right, right.” She mimed putting candy into their buckets. “You be safe now, and stick with your auntie tonight. The ghouls and ghosts are out and about.”
Richard laughed. “I’m not afraid. You’re funny, Mrs. Berkin. Thanks for letting us practice here.”
“You’re welcome.” Before Nettie could go, Mrs. Berkin stopped her. “Did I see you were at our mysterious new neighbor’s house first?”
Mrs. Berkin was more than a little nosy and liked to peek out her window at the neighbors every now and then. She was a class A busybody. Something she had no problem with, as long as she didn’t make me the headliner of what eventually became town gossip.
“Yeah, I figured it would be a good excuse to scope the place out.”
“And?”
“He’s handsome, no ring on his finger, and a total—” She mouthed, dickhead.
“No!” Mrs. Berkin gasped.
“Yeah, he completely shut the door in our faces just now, and getting him to help them practice their trick-or-treating was like pulling teeth. The idiot clearly has no imagination.”
“Well, my dear.” Mrs. Berkin leaned in like she had the juiciest piece of gossip in town. “I heard something about him recently coming out of a bad divorce. The woman raked him over the coals. So maybe cut him some slack? We don’t know the details, and you can’t judge someone for having a bad day.”
Mrs. Berkin never missed an opportunity to guide Nettie in her own way, and Nettie could never ignore her. The woman had been one of the many people in town who’d taken care of Nettie and her siblings.
“I can judge if it means he won’t give my niece and nephew the time of day. He’s a total ass.”
“Ass!” Richard yelled after Nettie forgot to mime that word. “Auntie Nettie said a bad word. I’m telling Mom!”
“Richard,” Mrs. Berkin said in a severe tone. “If you keep your mouth shut and don’t rat your aunt out, I will give you a big cookie.”
“Mrs. Berkin, don’t bribe my nephew!”
Mrs. Berkin ignored her, of course. “We aren’t tattletales in this neighborhood. You remember that, Richard. No matter what the police ask.”
“Okay, we’re leaving now. Thanks, Mrs. Berkin.” Nettie made a mental note to have a talk with Richard about tattling and that it was okay if it was a serious situation. Mrs. Berkin was a bit old-fashioned for Ophelia’s parenting style, and wouldn’t appreciate the kids being taught that lesson. They moved on from house to house for about an hour until it began to get dark. Once back home, Nettie ordered pizza, and by the time her sister, Ophi, got there the pizza was open and half eaten on the counter.
Nettie was about to take a huge bite of her third slice when Ophi walked in and dramatically dropped to the floor.
“Mommy!” Dani yelled, running over to her mom who lay on her back in the entryway. Nettie smiled, watching as the young girl played out the familiar routine. Pinching and prodding Ophi, trying to get her to wake up until she growled at her daughter, then engaged in the fiercest tickling match. Dani was so little her laughs were thick and straight from the belly, music to Nettie’s ears. Richard laughed as he watched them, well accustomed to the tickling attack.
“Mommy missed you,” Ophi said once the tickling subsided, the winner to be determined in the next round. “How was practice trick-or-treating?” she asked, standing with Dani in her arms. “Did you find a good route?”
“Really good,” Richard said around a mouthful of pizza. “Lots of people, lots of candy. Though we got off to a bad start.”
Ophi grabbed a meat lovers’ slice, then sat on one of the stools. “Oh? What happened?”
“Auntie Nettie has a mean newborn,” Dani said.
“Neighbor,” Nettie corrected, laughing at Ophi’s questioning eyebrows.
“The new neighbor is mean?” Ophi’s mouth was full, her words garbled. “What did he do?”
“He wouldn’t practice with us.” Richard was outraged.
“He’s new, honey. He might not have known what to do.”
“Nettie told him, but he just stared at Nettie like that time Dani and I went trick-or-treating as the top and bottom half of a severed Liberace, and nobody thought it was funny.”
“I remember,” Ophi said, looking at Nettie. “That was one of my finest costumes.”
“I thought it was funny,” Nettie said with a shrug. They had looked odd, but Richard with the wig on was too good not to laugh at. Although, covering Dani’s head in blood and making the rest of her body into walking legs might have seemed a tad inappropriate for some parents.
“And then, he was rude to Aunt Nettie!”
Ophi gasped, turning her shock and awe on her sister. “Rude to my baby sister? How dare he!”
Nettie shrugged again, thinking back to the annoyed glare of her new neighbor. “It’s all right. I’ll win him over with cookies tomorrow.”
“Win him over?” Ophi put down her half-eaten slice to gently wrap a greasy hand around Nettie’s wrist. “Sweetheart, not everyone has to like you. Some people are born buttheads.”
Dani giggled. “Mom said buttheads.”
“Nope, I refuse to believe that my new neighbor is a butthead.” Nettie stabbed the table, making her point. “I refuse to live next door to a butthead. If that butthead doesn’t make nice and eat the freaking delicious cookies I’m gonna bring him tomorrow, well then he’s just gonna have to find somewhere else to live.” She sighed, unwilling to give up on the grumpy next-door angel. “But that’s not gonna happen, and why is that, Richard?”
“Because the butthead is going to be nice and like your cookies.” From the mouths of babes.
“Damn straight.”
“Stop cursing in front of my kids.”
Dani stood on her stool, placed her hands on her hips, then cried out with a triumphant yell, “Buttheads!”
Chapter Two
Nettie rang the doorbell and waited, and waited. She looked around the side of the house. Car
was in the driveway, check. But there weren’t any lights on in the house. Well, it was broad daylight, why would the lights be on? She didn’t hear music or the TV playing. Maybe he was asleep…but it was almost seven in the evening. No self-respecting adult man slept through the day…or went to bed that early.
She walked back to the porch and rang the doorbell again. Maybe he’d been in the shower the first time she rang, and he hadn’t heard it. She looked around the small porch while she waited, giving him time to dry off and dress if her previous assumption was correct. There was a delightful porch swing she decided to sit on, not that the swing was any surprise.
The house had been empty for the three years she had lived on this block, but the swing had always been there. In fact, on warm summer nights, she would bring a beer or glass of wine over and swing by herself. She would people watch, chat with passing neighbors, or read a book by candlelight. She’d wanted to buy this house, but couldn’t afford the cost of the many repairs the charming old residence needed, so she’d settled for the slightly newer and cheaper home next door.
Her brother Armie had lived with her at first, helping with the mortgage payments. Then Nettie had received a promotion at the theater she worked in, and she was able to afford the quaint place herself. But it wasn’t the same as Josh’s large colonial.
Two months ago, the for-sale sign had disappeared, and a construction crew had appeared. No matter how much she grilled them or brought them iced tea, they wouldn’t tell her anything about her new neighbor. Though she now suspected they had just been too nice and didn’t want to disappoint her by mentioning he was an asshole.
“My cookies are going to get cold…where is he?” Nettie placed the foil-covered ceramic plate on the swing beside her and rocked gently. She had hoped to befriend the new neighbor so she wouldn’t miss out on prime swing time in the summer, but her chances of him letting her swing on his porch seemed slightly dimmer now that she’d met him.
After waiting another ten minutes, her ill-planned outerwear of a light jacket and no gloves began to lose to the cold October wind. She stood, intending to make another batch and come back later—she refused to give her new neighbor reheated cookies—when she saw a man running around the corner. He wore tight-fitting black shorts, a long-sleeved blue shirt that clung to his body, wet down his chest and sides from all the sweat, and a tight workout belt with a water bottle and other handy pockets. His calves were muscular, and she was sure she could see ridges of a six-pack beneath the shirt. Her face heated, and her stomach tumbled.
Trick or Treat or Kiss Me (Croft Holidays Book 1) Page 1