“No!” Nettie crossed her arms. “No, that was the crazy neighbor.”
“Wait. I thought he was mean, not crazy.”
“Trust me, he’s supercrazy.” Nettie was actually yelling at her sister. She never yelled. There were people staring at them. What would they think of her?
Ophi narrowed her eyes. “What happened? Did he do something to you?”
“Yeah!” Seeing Ophi’s burgeoning outrage, Nettie corrected herself. “No, not like that. It’s fine…I don’t think he’s the girlfriend type.”
“Why is that?”
“You know, we may have kissed, and he may have had a complete nervous breakdown directly afterward.”
“Ouch.” Ophi rubbed Nettie’s back sympathetically. “You must be a terrible kisser.”
“Very funny.”
“Sis, it’s his loss.” Ophi hugged her, and Nettie let herself collapse into her big sister’s arms. Ophi was as much of a maternal figure and role model that Nettie would ever have. “How about we grab some apple pie and hot apple cider and go watch the dance of the sugar pumpkin fairies.”
Nettie nodded, reaching for Richard’s hand as they walked back toward the fair.
“Mrs. Rosemarie’s dance school sure knows how to milk one dance throughout the year, don’t they?”
Ophi laughed, but was serious when she said, “How many dances do you think five-year-olds in tutus bigger than their bodies can learn?”
* * * *
Joshua pulled into his driveway and for the first time in his life, wished he had a garage he could shut the door on and keep his engine running. Not even after the awful divorce had he ever felt this embarrassed or ashamed. That kiss had been amazing. It had been full of life and need, and yet he’d thrown it away. Why? Because his ex-wife had kissed him for the first time in a fucking corn maze, at a festival much like the one he’d been to tonight. The memory had assailed him, teasing and taunting him and turning the kiss into a waking nightmare.
He never should have gone. He should have stayed home, had a beer, and caught up on some TV or something. Hell, watching C-span would have been a better idea and had a better outcome.
“Damn idiot,” he muttered as he exited the car, slamming the door shut with a bit too much vigor.
“Is someone there?”
Josh regretted turning around the second he saw Armie standing listlessly in the middle of Nettie’s lawn.
“Seriously, I just need to get back to Nettie’s front door. Hello?”
The pathetic ass had his arms held out and he was turning in circles. Josh looked over toward the door, and sure enough, his cane was leaning against the outer wall of the house.
He sighed.
“I heard a sigh. I know you’re there!”
“I’ll be there in a second,” Josh grumbled, knowing this would most likely make the night worse. He cursed the day he ever met the Croft siblings…and he’d barely exchanged one word with the eldest. What would it mean when all three converged in the same spot? The apocalypse?
“Thanks, Josh,” Armie said as Josh walked across the connected lawn. “It is Josh, right? I thought I heard a car near your driveway, and I’m hoping it’s not some murder—”
“I’m not a murderer…or am I? Mwa-ha-ha.”
“That was not a convincing evil villain murderous laugh.”
Josh sighed heavily, attempting to act silly. Running into Nettie’s brother only served as a reminder for what a major idiot he was. Even through the dim light of the evening Josh could tell Armie looked like her. “Seems even my murderous laughs are lackluster tonight.” He gently took Armie by his elbow and began to walk back toward Nettie’s front door.
“Why?”
“Well…” He couldn’t tell Armie he kissed and then freaked out on Armie’s little sister like some scared virgin, pissing her off yet again. It had barely been a week since he officially met Nettie Croft and they’d had at least three arguments already. Any hope for a friendly, neighborly relationship was slipping further and further from view, and Mrs. Berkin across the street was probably already plotting to have him evicted. He couldn’t tell Armie all that. “I was at the fair, and I think I ate some corn that disagreed with me.”
“Connecticut corn will do that to you. Now tell me what type of argument you got into with my sister this time. I promise I won’t judge…although I may hit you with my cane a few times if you did something to her.”
“Why do you think this had anything to do with your sister? I told you, I had bad corn.”
“Because she sighs and sounds exactly like you do whenever she complains about you…mostly when she tells me about the fights you keep having. Nettie never fights with anyone. In fact, she will jump through flaming hoops to avoid getting into an argument with anyone outside our family.”
Josh sighed again, this time genuinely. Armie laughed, shrugging as if to say Josh had proved his point. Josh figured if he didn’t want Armie to smack him with his cane, he’d better give the situation some background.
“I was divorced recently.”
“So I heard from the gossips.”
That didn’t surprise Josh one bit, but as with anyone’s history, there was always more to the story. “Yeah, well what I don’t advertise is that the divorce took over two years because my ex couldn’t decide whether she wanted to go through with it or not. She dragged it on and through it all dragged my pride behind her in the mud. She slept with other men, with other women, she spent the money in our joint account that we both contributed to. She blamed me for wanting too much from her, saying that I’m too needy. Then at our joint lawyers’ meeting, she would say she couldn’t imagine ever sleeping with only me for the rest of her life because I don’t satisfy her voracious needs, that I’m absent. Everything she said was a fucking contradiction, and I’m tired. I’m tired of that whole relationship scene and how it can fuck you up and make you forget who you are. I moved here to be alone, so I could start a life and figure out who I am again, me as a single guy.”
“And then my sister happened.”
Josh could picture it in his mind so clearly, how absolutely floored he had been by her sweet beauty. Then her acerbic mouth had opened, and he’d delighted in all her sarcastic repartee. “I saw her with your niece and nephew, and I don’t know what happened to me. A screw fell out or something because now whenever I run into her, I get fucking mad. In a weird, irrational way.”
Armie nodded thoughtfully. “I can see why instantly liking someone the second you met them might do that to you after swearing off relationships.”
Josh couldn’t tell whether Armie was being serious or not.
“What happened at the fair?”
“We kissed, and I freaked out on her. I had a total meltdown, and now she thinks I’m crazy—” A hard stick hit his side. “Ow, what the fuck, man?”
They’d made it back to the house, and Armie held his white cane in his hand. “I told you I’d smack you with the stick if you hurt her.”
“I didn’t mean to offend her, I just…” He didn’t know what he’d meant to do, but kissing someone like she was the only person he ever wanted to kiss again had not been in his playbook for the first week in a new town. “What are you doing out here, anyway?”
“I was supposed to meet Nettie and Ophi here after the fair. They’re usually back by now.”
“You don’t have a key?”
“I forgot mine, and Nettie hides a key, but I think she changed the spot without telling me. She does that every now and then. At least it’s not snowing. One time I waited through a blizzard for an hour…she’d been taking a bath with her music blasting and couldn’t hear the doorbell.”
They laughed, and Josh relaxed when Armie rested the cane against the front door again. “Listen, Josh, I don’t know a lot about relationships and I’m not the best at giving advice on them, but I do know my sister. And I know that Nettie has talked about you nonstop for the last week.”
“Probably beca
use she hates me.”
“No. It’s worse when she dislikes someone because she tries her hardest to get them to like her in order to hide her opinion. It’s a problem for her, an overwhelming desire to have everybody’s approval. I’m sure some psychologist would attribute it to our parents being absent all the time when we were kids and then dying suddenly. But with you…I don’t know, she’s not trying. I mean, she made you cookies and shit, but I don’t think it was because she wanted you to like her, not really.”
“I’m the first person she doesn’t care about. I should just move now, shouldn’t I?”
“No, you’re not listening.” Armie tapped him with the stick playfully. “She doesn’t feel the need to get approval from you because she innately trusts you. She’s comfortable enough with you to fight like you’ve known each other for years. She doesn’t put on a mask for you. She shows the real Nettie, prickly sides and all.”
Josh thought for a second. Nettie was prickly. He’d never seen the convivial woman everybody in town kept talking about. “She doesn’t behave this way with other people?”
“The only poor souls she’s actually rude to are our older sister and me. Her family.”
Car lights turned onto the street, and Josh tensed. He didn’t want to see Nettie again that night…despite actually desperately wanting to see her, especially after listening to Armie. He was too embarrassed.
“I think they’re coming. Can I leave you here at the door?”
“Yeah, I’ll be good.”
Josh took Armie’s hand, shaking it. “Thanks for listening to me. I know that was probably more than you wanted to know about me.”
“If I can’t see, I might as well listen, right?” Armie dropped Josh’s hand. “Don’t break my sister’s heart, man.”
“I think it’s mine that’s at risk.” He’d never spoken this frankly to anyone about his emotions or about his ex. It was refreshing and liberating. He hoped he and Armie had more talks like this in the future, except more manly and without all the feelings and shit.
Josh clapped Armie on his shoulder, then ran back to his house as the car neared the driveway. He watched from his entrance window to make sure it was, in fact, Nettie and that Armie got inside quickly.
He needed to make this right, this thing between him and his bewitchingly eccentric neighbor. Thinking he might know how, but not looking forward to the method, he waited until the Croft family was safely locked away in their house, girded his loins, then headed over to Mrs. Berkin’s house for some help.
Chapter Six
“This was the best Halloween ever!” Richard said, fist pumping to victory music only he could hear. “Wait till Mom sees our big haul.”
“She is going to be so proud of both of you, Rich,” Nettie said, her arms tiring after carrying Dani and her massive costume for the last three blocks. The poor child had conked out after Richard made them continue the route, despite their candy buckets already being filled. Fortunately, sweet Richard had volunteered to hold both candy buckets, though she didn’t know whether it was to actually be helpful or to scope out what kind of candy his sister got compared to his. Nettie didn’t think he’d swipe anything, but he’d definitely use the knowledge to his advantage during the ritual candy swap at the end of the night. Richard was ruthless when it came to Halloween candy, even with his baby sister. Nettie had taught him well.
They reached Nettie’s house as their mom drove into the driveway. Richard waited until the car was turned off and Ophi opened the driver’s door before pouncing, yelling and laughing about all the fun decorations they saw and how much candy he got this year. The best Halloween ever.
Nettie rocked Dani who was drooling on her shoulder, mumbling in her sleep about candy and costumes. Her subtle turning and stepping brought Josh’s house into her line of sight. She tried to look away, tried to listen to Ophi and Richard discussing the spoils of the night, but his light was on. If she listened hard, she thought she could hear music playing. What sort of music did he listen to? She could imagine him sitting with a beer or whiskey by the fireplace in the large living room. God, she’d loved that fireplace when she was considering buying the place. It was a main selling feature.
What would it feel like to be sitting with him, lights out in the house, just the two of them cuddled on the couch with the light from the flickering fire filling the room? He would have his big hands around her shoulders, pulling her in close. Maybe he’d whisper something silly in her ear, making her slap his chest playfully. He’d grab her hand, holding it to him, then he’d kiss her ear. Then he’d kiss her cheek, then the corner of her mouth until he reached her lips and her heart was pounding.
“Nettie!” Richard yelled.
Nettie looked back at Ophi and Richard so quickly she got a crick in her neck. “Huh?”
Ophi was smiling at her in that knowing, annoying way, and she knew she’d been caught. “Whatcha lookin’ at?” Ophi asked, knowing full well what Nettie had been looking at.
“Nothing of importance,” Nettie said, glancing over her shoulder one last time before heading toward the car. She set Dani on the seat, then tugged the costume off her.
“I can put her in the car seat.” Ophi had Richard on the other side, strapping him in. He was still talking but had begun to slow down.
“It’s okay. I don’t have anywhere to go.”
They both snapped the children in and closed the doors to the car, walking around to meet at the trunk.
“What about the adult Halloween party? You always go to that.”
“I don’t have a costume. I was gonna do the ballerina mechanic thing I made the other day, but I think he who shall not be named ruined it for me.” She kicked the bumper with her heel. “He’s ruined everything this Halloween. I wish he’d never moved here.”
“This attitude is ridiculous. I have never seen you this bent out of shape before, and I refuse to let this stand.” Ophi wrapped Nettie up in a hug, then smacked her upside the head.
“Ow!”
“That was tough love, my dear.”
Nettie rubbed her head, pouting. “I don’t think you’re supposed to take that phrase so literally.”
“I’m gonna get a sitter, and you and I are going to that party.”
“I don’t have a costume, and there is no way you’ll be able to get a sitter on such short notice.”
“Don’t worry about the sitter, I have favors to call in…and as for a costume, I have something for you.” Ophi opened the trunk with the key fob, then reached in and pulled out a large, flat box topped with a decorative black-and-orange bow. “I wanted you to wear this to seduce your sexy neighbor, but I think you need it more for yourself at this point. I’m gonna bring the kids over to Mrs. Berkin’s and then I’ll be back. We’ll change, have a couple drinks, and head over. Sound good?”
Fortified by the love of her family, Nettie nodded, grinning wider than she had all week. “Let’s do this.”
* * * *
The gymnasium at the high school was decorated to the nines with hanging spiders, webs, and creepy yet silly looking ghosts with glowing eyes. The usual stage had been erected for a local band to play, but this time, there were moving lights and a fog machine, spreading the mist across the floor of the gym. Nettie hardly recognized the place; it was the best anyone had done to decorate it in all the years she’d been able to attend as an adult.
“Wow,” Nettie said on an excited gasp. The band was playing a fun and quirky cover of “Monster Mash,” and the female lead singer was killing it, her vocals amazing. “Wow.”
“I know, right? We really went all out this year.”
Nettie turned to her sister, looking fantastic in the mechanic ballerina outfit Nettie previously planned to wear. “We? Since when are you on the planning committee for the Halloween party? Since when do you have time for that? No wonder you’ve been busy lately.”
“They begged me to help, and I told them I had to be allowed to take pictures for the blog.
Everything is a form of advertisement and marketing.”
Nettie hugged her big sister, excited and overjoyed that they’d decided to come. “This is the best Halloween ever.”
“Let's get some creepy punch and then dance until we drop. Deal?”
And that was exactly what they did. Not wanting to waste any time by stopping to chat with other neighbors, they downed a couple glasses of punch, made creepy by the fake floating eyeballs in the large bowl, and headed straight for the dance floor.
The band was fantastic. They played the perfect mix of classic and modern songs that fit into the Halloween theme. There was a male and a female singer, constantly trading off or singing duets. Nettie was delighted by all the compliments she received on her kick-ass costume, but mostly she was thrilled to dance and forget about everything that had happened the past week.
Her sister left the dance floor, saying she needed some water, and the music turned slow. Some water would be a good idea. Nettie turned to leave, and he who must not be named was less than a foot from her, staring at her. Without a word, he took her by the waist and began to dance. She glanced around frantically, hoping her sister would come to her rescue, but Ophi was nowhere to be found.
It was just Nettie with Josh—dressed in a Zorro costume with tight black pants, the mask, and a loose shirt, to match her Spanish senorita costume—on the dance floor, his hands on her waist and hers compulsively sliding up his arms to his shoulders.
She was in deep trouble.
JOSH HAD FELT like a fool putting on this costume, but Ophelia and Mrs. Berkin had insisted, Ophelia saying she had the perfect, sexy Catherine Zeta-Jones costume to match that she’d get her sister to wear. He was Antonio Banderas as Zorro—sexy Zorro, as Ophelia put it. He didn’t feel sexy; he felt like a damn idiot. But walking into that gymnasium and spotting Nettie on the dance floor in her beautiful costume erased any doubt or fears about this plan.
She was ethereal, swishing her skirt to the music, her long dark hair in waves around her breasts. She wore a white peasant shirt that clung below her shoulders, large enough to have a billowing effect but tight enough to show her curves. The skirt was large as well, flowing around her like a turquoise sea, the bottom hemmed in reds and oranges. She had a red flower in her hair by her right ear, and it only added to the spell she cast.
Trick or Treat or Kiss Me (Croft Holidays Book 1) Page 5