How could I say no? My body was practically begging for him to touch it, as if his words had been foreplay.
I told him, he could tie me up, he could touch me wherever he wanted, but I wanted to keep my panties on – for now.
He was so delicate with the way he handled the rope. It didn’t feel uncomfortable like I had expected. But I was feeling vulnerable, in the best way possible.
My body was aching to be touched, every part of me on edge, I had never been more aroused. And when he finally touched my skin, all of my senses sung harmoniously.
He worked his way down my body, running his hands through my hair, caressing my face, my neck, across my collarbone and shoulders. Down my arms and back up again. To my chest. He let his fingers run across my breasts, to my erect nipples, ever so slightly tweaking them with his fingertips as they crossed. I let out a soft gasp for air. Mr. H responded by pinching them harder.
“O.” I mouthed, moaning slightly.
“Good Girl Miss James.”
I lost myself in that moment. Basking in the glorious pleasure of his touch mixed with his words.
I snapped back to, when I felt his fingers brush across my panties, before running his hands all the way down the outside of my legs and then all the way back up the inside, tracing the outline of my panties once reaching the top.
I desperately wanted him to go further, to venture inside my panties. But he didn’t. His fingers briefly brushed across my warm, wet sex through the fabric of my underwear. Sending tingles throughout my entire body before he moved back up towards my head, kissing me tenderly before beginning to un-tie my wrists. “I think that’s enough for your first time.” Mr. H said, much to my disappointment, although I was pretty tired.
Chapter Six.
Waking the next morning, still snuggled into a soundly sleeping Mr. H’s chest, I was overcome with instant regret, what if he’d wanted to have sex with me last night?
He un-tied me from the bed posts and I just curled up and fell asleep on him. How could I do that? He’s probably realised now that I’m not as good as he’d hoped I was.
Gently as I could manage, I inched myself away, trying to get up without disturbing him, hoping it would at least give me a chance to sneak a shower before he realised I was missing. I wasn’t ready for him to see me like this, makeup smudged all over my face and stinky morning breath.
As I slipped off the bed and began tip-toeing around towards the ensuite, I thought I was in the clear, but then I heard,
“And where do you think you’re going?”
Darn it, I thought. Busted.
“To the shower.” I said, “I won’t be long.” There was no way I was stopping or turning around to face him.
Closing the door behind me I realise, there’s no lock. What the fuck?
“Great Idea.” Mr. H said, walking through the unlocked door, “Allow me to join you? I believe we have some unfinished business.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” He pointed down towards a rather noticeable, hardened bulge in his briefs.
I bit my lip, trying not to smile as I watched this glorious hunk of a man remove his only item of clothing.
Oh, wow, I thought, it’s even larger than I expected. How on earth am I going to handle that, especially after having had no sex at all for a year?
Stepping out of my panties. I took a deep breath, this is what I had been waiting for. I shakily walked in to the huge shower, immediately enveloped by his huge arms from behind, I could feel his hard cock digging into my lower back as he leant forward to adjust the shower head’s aim onto my breasts.
This is it, I thought, here we go, I was so ready. I’d never wanted anyone this much.
And honestly, it was the best shower of my life, but not only because this shower was probably worth more than my apartment. It was because, I had never felt so filled by a man before. I don’t know if it was because it hadn’t had sex for a year or what, but, he felt huge inside me, filling me entirely, his voice lining my ears, his words permeating my thoughts. Every part of me was filled by this man in ways I’d never dreamed of.
“I’d better go make you some breakfast before you get started on your writing.” Mr. H said, stepping out of the shower, “Take your time, get yourself ready for the day, I’ll be waiting for you down in the kitchen.”
He was going to make me breakfast? I’d never had breakfast made for me before, not by a man, especially after sex. This man was unlike any I’d ever met.
Walking down the large staircase, I could see Mr. H standing in the kitchen, flipping pancakes like a pro. Of course he could cook, he owned a restaurant after all, and clearly he’s a food lover, a definite commonality we shared.
“Mm mm, something smells amazing.”
“You said bacon was your weakness right?” Mr. H joked.
“Something like that.” I laughed, remembering our conversation of my unadulterated love for bacon. My one true love, I think I remember saying.
“Over there.” Mr. H said, pointing to the dining table.
On the table I see my new laptop, all set up, and ready to start typing. So fancy, much nicer than the one I had, mine barely kept up at this stage, its software was a tad outdated. Sitting next to the computer is a coffee, a latte. He remembered. What. A. Man. Does he ever forget anything? How was a man like this still single? His attention to detail was superb. Every small gesture proving his worth.
After scoffing down my maple syrup soaked pancakes and bacon rashers, I pulled the computer over in my direction.
“Uh-Uh” Mr. H said, “Not yet, it’s only 8:58.”
Really? He’s making me wait for two stinking minutes?
Standing up to take our empty dishes across to the kitchen, he gently kissed my forehead on the way past, such a simple thing, a kiss on the forehead, why does it make me feel so, special?
“Now.” He points at his watch, indicating it was finally time to write.
“Thanks.” I said sarcastically, but the look he shot in my direction was more than enough for me to reconsider ever speaking to him like that again.
“Sorry.” I said, with clenched jaw, as I began typing.
I started by just jotting random words and ideas down on the page – food, whiskey, rivers, views, rope, showers, and so on. I didn’t realise what I was doing but I was describing our night in keywords. Before I knew it, I was replaying last night in my mind, spewing the words out onto the blank screen. My heart was racing as I typed, the warmth returning between my legs.
“What you writing?” Mr. H asked, giving me one hell of a fright. He’d either snuck up on me, or I was so tranced out writing that I didn’t even notice him.
“Oh, shit! – Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
“Sorry Hannah, I didn’t mean to? Time’s up though, it’s time we left for brunch. How many words did you get?”
“Um… 2,104”
“Wow, ok, I think I underestimated you, perhaps 2,000 should be our target from now on.” The shocked look on his face evidentially revealed he had minimal knowledge of writing.
In the car, Mr. H again resumed his curiosity over what it was that I was writing so enthusiastically about.
“Nothing.”
“You embarrassed?” He asked.
“Kind of.” I was awkwardly staring out the window, wishing I could jump out of it to avoid any more questioning.
“Alright, I’ll let you keep your dirty little secret. – This time.”
Writing about Mr. H and my sexual relationship had completely taken my mind off the fact we were going to meet his friends, I didn’t even get a chance to realise how I was feeling about meeting his friends until we had pulled in the car parking building and we were getting out of the car. And then the anxiety hit me, like a ton of bricks.
“What if they don’t like me? What if I make a fool of myself? I don’t want to embarrass you. I’ll just catch a cab home, you go by yourself ok? I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”
I smiled, accepting his hand, instantly feeling the sense of calm wash over me. He was definitely my safe place. My comfort blanket.
After a two minute walk up the road, we arrived at small restaurant – ‘Bouffe.’
Mr. H’s friends were already seated when we walked in, three men and three women, the men down one end of the table, the women down the other. Mr. H and I sat in the middle, bridging the gap between the sexes, which was good for me because it meant I could listen in on both conversations.
I heard the men talking about some gathering they were planning, I tried to hear more but I unfortunately couldn’t hear too much over the constant laughter from the girl’s side.
I was trying to put together who went with who, assuming I was correct and they were three couples. Watching their eyes, who was looking at who, who did she smile at? Was that a wink? I loved people watching, narrating in my own mind. Constantly scanning for storylines and interesting characters. The joy and pitfall of a writer.
“So you’re Callan’s new girl huh?” One of the women asked, snapping me from my fictional world daze.
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Must be some kind of special, Callan hardly ever introduces any of his women to us.” Another woman said.
Women. She said women. Plural. How many women does he have? I wondered, am I not the only one? I thought I was special. I knew it was too good to be true. He’s just using me. How could I let this happen? So stupid. I began to panic. My anxiety took over. Breathing became something I’d forgotten how to do. I needed to get out. Now.
“I need some air.” I whispered breathlessly, before standing and heading rapidly towards the door.
“What did you say to her?!” I heard Mr. H ask, before I made it outside.
I carried on walking, I wasn’t sure where I was going, just anywhere but there. I had no sense of direction other than, far, far, away from here.
“Hannah, stop!” I heard from somewhere behind me.
Turning around, thinking it would be Mr. H, I realised it wasn’t.
It was Jason.
No, not now, I can’t deal with this now, I thought, wishing he would vanish. No, no, no. He was that one thing too many, I tried to cross the road to get away but the traffic was busy and moving too quickly, I closed my eyes and wished he would vanish.
Regardless of my wishes, I heard him running up behind me.
“Hannah, what’s wrong, you look upset.” Jason said, trying to catch his breath.
“Please, just leave me alone.”
“No, Hannah, I just need to talk to you.”
“You need to leave.”
“Hannah, I just want to talk, I miss you, I miss you so much.” He reached out, stroking my face, tucking the fallen hair back behind my ear – just like he used to.
“Don’t touch me.”
“I’m sorry Hannah, what can I do to get you to forgive me? I will do anything, I have to have you back, please. I need you Hannah James. I love you so much.” Again, he reached out, placing a hand on my shoulder, getting closer to my face as he spoke.
“Don’t touch me!” I yelled, loud enough for everyone around to draw their attention toward us. I needed it all to stop, there was far too much going on right now, my head was spinning, I was beginning to feel a little dizzy.
“Is everything ok here Baby girl?” Mr. H said, walking up behind us, catching me just at the right time before I lost my balance.
“Baby girl? Who the fuck is this Hannah?” Jason asked.
“Let me guess, this is the moron who cheated on you.” Mr. H said.
“Who the fuck are you?” Jason asked Mr. H.
“He’s my boyfriend.” I said, butting in. Trying to separate the testosterone fuelled duel. I did not want to have to break up a fist fight on top of everything else.
Mr. H looked down at me, smiling before adding,
“Yeah, what Hannah said. Boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend? Is this a joke? I thought you loved me, how could you? – Oh, you’re going to regret this. Both of you.” Jason threatened, brushing shoulders with Mr. H on his way past. Immature, meaningless, empty threat. Or so I thought at the time.
“Go back to your friends, I’m alright now.” I said to Mr. H.
“Not likely Miss James.”
“No, really, I’m going home.”
“I’m going to go explain what happened, my friends will understand. Take my keys, go wait for me in the car. I’m taking you home.”
Chapter Seven.
Mr. H wasn’t happy that I wouldn’t let him come up to my apartment, I just wanted to be left alone. I had a shift in a few hours anyway, I needed to get my head straight before then. I’d had anxiety attacks before, I was on edge a lot, but never like that. Something about this man made me feel things I’d never experienced before. I was far too attached to him for my liking. Obsessing over the need for more of him. All of him.
I wanted to ask Mr. H about what the other women said, but I didn’t want to come across as being too needy. Even though that’s exactly what I was. I didn’t want to be one of many women either, I never have been that good with sharing. I needed to tell him that, I needed to know he wasn’t seeing anyone else, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach that situation just yet, so I tried to push it aside for now, deciding to catch up on some reading to calm my mind. Which it somewhat did, I lost a good couple of hours into the other realm the story had taken me to before realising I needed to start to get organised for tonight.
Jade was supposed to be coming down to collared after closing time, we’d organised this days ago as I really wanted her and Ben to meet Mr. H, Katie and the rest of the crew. But mainly just Mr. H. Tonight had seemed the perfect time as we had all planned to stay on for drinks after we’d closed, but now, after this stupid shit this morning, I didn’t even know if Mr. H was going to be there anymore. I still wanted Jade and Ben to come though, at least they would get to meet Katie and everyone else.
‘Still on for tonight Jade?’ I sent.
‘You know it Hanny, can’t wait.’ Ugh, she drives me nuts every time she calls me that, and she knows it.
Ok, that’s one thing sorted, I thought, now for the next. Unable to hold it in for any longer, Anxious Hannah took over. Again.
‘I don’t want to be one of your many women.’ I sent to Mr. H, before quickly turning it on to mute and placing it back in my bag. I wasn’t ready to read his response, I wasn’t ready to hear the truth.
An hour later, grabbing my phone out as I walked out of my apartment, checking for his text, I don’t see anything. No reply. He normally answered my texts within the minute. Great, I thought. I’ve definitely scared him off now.
Walking to work I had the feeling of dread. I had no idea what I was arriving to find, was he mad with me? Were we done? Whatever it was that we even were. I wasn’t ready for it to be over so soon. I found myself walking slower than usual, as if to put off the inevitable. Eventually though – I arrived.
Taking my bag out the back of the restaurant, I found a note in my cubby hole,
‘You are the only one for me. I hope you know that. See you after your shift. Mr. H. x’ –
“You okay Hannah?” Katie asked. “Callan said you had a run in with your ex today.”
“Oh. Right, yeah I did. I’m ok.” I’d forgotten all about seeing Jason today, Mr. H was my only concern. “Katie…” I said, “Am I not the only woman? That Mr. H’s dating?”
“What? Of course you are – what gave you that idea? He’s smitten with you.”
“Oh, just something that was said at brunch. Must have been a misunderstanding, don’t worry about it, forget I said anything.”
I don’t know if I felt more stupid or relieved, but whatever it was, I wa
s much happier now. I knew I still needed to speak with him face to face about it, but at least for now the spring was back in my step and I was ready to get this shift done. I’ve got to stop underestimating this man, I told myself. He was different, he didn’t run at the first sign of trouble.
“Was it one of the women at brunch? Brown hair, freckles, nasty cackle laugh?”
“Yeah… How did you-” I began before Katie took over,
“That bitch is nothing but green with envy. Rachel’s wanted Callan for as long as I remember. I’m sure she’s only play acting as Pete’s submissive to stay nice and close to Callan.”
Fanfuckingtastic, I thought. I hated the feeling of competition. Especially romantic competition. Especially she-is-an-experienced-submissive-and-I-know-nothing competition. What if Callan wanted her if he knew she wanted him?
The restaurant was extremely busy, being a Saturday night, but that was a good thing. The busier I was, the less time I had to get lost in my thoughts. The busier it was, the faster time went. Before I knew it, we were pushing the last few customers out, slamming the doors shut behind them.
“Oh thank fuck.” Katie said, “Time for a drink!”
Grabbing a bottle of rosé and glasses from behind the bar, we headed out the back to get changed before the others arrived.
As I took my bag from my cubby I found another note, I didn’t even know Mr. H had been here, I hadn’t seen or heard a word of him.
‘Use my office to get changed, the outfit I chose for you is in there. I’ll be back soon. Mr. H. x’
I stood there, staring at the note, wondering how he pulls all of this off, wondering what I did to deserve any of this.
Katie recognised the look of confusion on my face.
“What’s wrong?”
I handed her the note.
“Is that it? I thought you would know what he’s like by now. Do you not like his taste in clothes?” She asked.
“No, it’s not that, I just think, he’s just, he’s spent so much money on me already, it’s only been a week. I feel so –”
MR. H. Page 6