Josh handed me a small, white box. "Okay, this is it," he said, his eyes gleaming. "You're gonna love this."
I slowly opened up the box ... and nearly dropped it on the floor. Inside was the biggest cockroach I'd ever seen. Seriously, this thing was several inches long. I stifled a scream.
"Relax, Jiminy here is just a hissing cockroach," Josh said, taking the box from me. "I got him from the pet store today. Believe it or not, people keep these things as pets."
"Jiminy?" I squeaked, eyeing that —- that horrible thing. "That's not a cricket, Josh!"
He shrugged. "Well, he looks like a Jiminy to me. And he's here to help us. We —- actually, you —- will be doing the honors."
"Oh my God, you want me to touch it?" I shuddered and backed away. I didn't want to look all scared and silly, but you have to understand, I hate bugs. If I see so much as a spider in my room, I'll call in my dad to get it out of there.
"You don't really have to touch it, per se," Josh explained, "but just find a way to get him into Kathy's vicinity."
"And then what?" I still didn't quite get this plan.
"Oh, she'll go crazy. And then Francis will go crazy. And then Francis will go crazy on Kathy." He laughed and clapped his hands at the thought of all of this happening.
"But how am I supposed to do this?" I asked. "I don't know if I can really drop a roach into her things without her well, noticing."
Josh's lips spread into that lopsided grin. "That's where I come in. I'll create a diversion."
###
We entered the band room and I approached my new seat ... the second chair. Resisting the urge to kick it, I slowly sat down and unpacked my flute. Meanwhile, I carefully placed Jiminy under my seat, praying that no one would see him. Maya Chen, who sits third chair, gave me an encouraging smile. "Sucks that you lost your seat," she told me. "You're so good."
"Thanks," I said, thinking that maybe sitting next to Maya wouldn't be completely horrible.
Then Kathy arrived. Dressed in a green sundress, she looked every bit the queen she seemed to thinks she is. She pasted on a huge pageant-style smile as she ascended her throne, a.k.a. the first chair. "This is so cool, now I'm going to get to play all the solos!" she burbled as she leafed through the music. She turned to me. "Oh, sorry, Mel. I guess that means you won't get them now." She laughed. "But life's full of disappointments, right?"
"Right," I said, sneaking a quick peek under my chair to make sure that Jiminy was still safe in his box. He was.
"So, did you have a good weekend?" Kathy went on, doing her whole fake-friendly schtick. "Oh, wait, that's right. You probably did nothing this weekend. Because you have no life."
I didn't answer, figuring she'd get hers when Jiminy was released.
"Well, you know what I did?" Kathy was saying. Maya rolled her eyes at me. "I went to this awesome party with my boyfriend. He came down from college just to see me. But you wouldn't know about that, would you Mel, since no boy has ever liked you."
Okay, this was quickly getting old. By now I was itching for Josh to do whatever "diversion" he was planning. Then, as if I’d summoned him with my great mental powers, Josh swooped over to the flutes and stood right by Kathy. "Hey, Kath," he said, smiling at her.
She made a face. "What do you want, Josh? Or did me spilling soda on you not give you the message?"
Josh shrugged. "I just wanted to congratulate you on getting first chair is all. You deserve it."
That made Kathy smile. "I know, right? I've worked so hard to get it."
"Oh, really? Well, uh, what exactly did you do?" Of course, Kathy, who loves to talk about herself, began to ramble on about how gifted her private teacher thought she was. As she spoke, Josh raised an eyebrow and subtly nodded at the box, signaling me to let Jiminy out. But when I reached for him, the roach was gone. I surreptitiously held up the box to show him. Josh's eyes widened in alarm.
"Oh, uh, well, Kathy, it was nice talkin' to you," Josh said. "Congrats again on being such a perfect specimen of a human." I stifled a laugh as Kathy looked at him, puzzled. I then set about dealing with Operation Cockroach.
After a quick scan of the band room, I saw Jiminy scuttling toward the oboes. That was only a few feet away from me, so I leaned over to grab him (Ewwww!). But just then, Mr. Francis arrived, looking as crotchety as ever. He adjusted his maroon pants and orange shirt and held up what was sure to be the first of many batons he'd use that day.
"I hope you all had a restful weekend because I'm going to work you like dogs!" he growled. "I was extremely disappointed in your auditions the other day..." He gave me a pointed look. "But now that that's over, I'm going to fix that. So be prepared to drill, drill and drill. By the time I'm finished with you, your instruments are going to be permanently welded to your bodies and you're going to be breathing notes!" A drop of sweat plunked down on his podium, signaling the end of his tirade. He held up his baton to begin.
I still had a roach to catch. By now, he'd moved from the oboes to the clarinets. Josh caught my eye and mouthed, "Did you get him?" I mouthed back, "Nope." He mimed banging his trumpet against his head. Ken gave Josh a funny look, so Josh sat up straight, pretending that nothing had happened.
For the next 20 minutes, I kept an eye on Jiminy. The little guy sure seemed to like exploring the band room. After scurrying past the clarinets, he crept behind Mr. Francis's podium; he then climbed up the wall, right near the poster that said, "Scale Model," and had a drawing of musical notes in a heap. “Are you okay?” Maya whispered to me as I squirmed around. I prayed that she wouldn’t notice the bug. “I’m fine!” I lied. Mr. Francis glared at us and we shut up.
"That's not how Annie is supposed to sound," he bellowed at the trombones. "You're supposed to sound like an orphan, who's cold and lonely and misses her mommy! You guys sound like you're ready to go to the circus! I want SORROW! And DESPERATION! I WANNA HEAR YOU ALL CRYING FOR YOUR MOMMIES, DAMMIT!"
The trombone players cringed at the attack. Jiminy fell back onto the floor. Now I at least had a chance to grab him. I turned a little in my seat and caught Josh's eye, then pointed to the ground. He motioned with his hands to act now. Jiminy again scuttled away, but did move closer to the flutes.
"Kowalski, do you have a problem?" Mr. Francis cut in, as he noticed Josh waving at me. "Is it your goal to interrupt every single one of my practices?"
"Uh, no, sir," Josh replied. "I, uh, just had a question."
Mr. Francis didn't seem to believe him. Still, he said, "Okay, let's hear it."
"I, um, just wanted to know about uh, measure 42," Josh stammered. "I'm not sure about the trumpet pickup..." He went on for a bit, trying to buy me some time. Meanwhile, I pretended to drop a pencil so I could snatch Jiminy. But as I bent down, Kathy suddenly let out an ear-piercing, toe-curling scream that easily could've gotten her the lead in any horror movie.
Jiminy was perched right on the back of her chair.
###
The room suddenly became dead quiet, save for Kathy's shrieks. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, GET IT OFF!" she wailed, as she jumped around. "SOMEBODY KILL ITTTTT!"
Mr. Francis came running —- well, waddling —- over to her and attempted to calm her down. "It's just a little bug, Miss Meadows," he said, actually making a half-hearted attempt to show some compassion. "It won't hurt you."
"I think it bit me!" Kathy cried. She began to scream again. I struggled to hold back my laughter, but Josh was having an even more difficult time. He was hunched over his music stand, his shoulders bobbing as he giggled.
Mr. Francis let out a loud sigh, then marched up to Kathy's chair and flicked Jiminy onto the floor. He lifted his booted foot and plunked it right down on the roach. There was an audible crunch and then silence. Jiminy was no more. I gasped. Maya put her hand over her mouth and looked like she was about to puke.
"Th-thank you, M-Mr. Francis," Kathy sobbed. He handed her a tissue from his briefcase and she dabbed at her eyes. He bent down to scrape away Jiminy's re
mains.
"Miss Meadows, why don't you go to the nurse?" our conductor suggested. "This way, she can check you out. It'll also give you a chance to get some water and calm down."
"Okay." She skulked out of the room with her head down.
Mr. Francis returned to his podium and picked up a fresh baton. "Alright, where were we?" he asked. "Oh yes, the flute solo in Annie." He looked around and realized Kathy was gone. "Uh, Miss Rhodes," he said, pointing at me. "Since Miss Meadows isn't here, why don't you take over?"
I looked over at Josh, who was grinning in delight. He winked at me, then gave me a thumbs up.
He knew he had me.
CHAPTER 5
After band, Josh offered to drive me home again. As we walked to the parking lot together, I thought back on what a great day this had turned out to be. I mean, sure I had to sit — ick!-- second chair and had to get up close and personal with a -blech! —- giant roach from hell, but still; I had to hand it to poor, little Jiminy for coming through for me. It had totally been worth it. After I played the flute solo everyone, including Mr. Francis, complimented me. Maya even told me that she thought I deserved to keep first chair.
Now I was being driven home by Josh for the third time in a row! For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel like such a geek.
###
"Oh my God, Mel, that was awesome!" Josh shouted once we were safely in his car and could openly discuss the scheme. "Did you see the look on Kathy's face?" He did a falsetto imitation of her. "Oh, no, Mr. Francis, it bit me! WAAH!" I giggled as he pretended to wipe tears from his eyes. "Boo hoo hoo, I'm a big baby. AAAAHHH!"
"I'm sorry that I never actually caught Jiminy," I told him, "but he kept getting away from me!" I laughed. "Wow
, I didn't know that cockroaches could run so fast."
"That's okay, you made a good attempt. And besides, it couldn't have worked out more perfectly." He sighed. "Poor, poor Jiminy. I don't think he had any idea that this would turn out to be a suicide mission."
"I know. I'd almost feel bad for him ... if he weren't so gross." I stuck out my tongue.
"Well, either way, Jiminy is a hero." Josh mimed raising a glass. "To Jiminy. May he rest in peace and always be remembered for his noble deed."
"To Jiminy!" I repeated.
###
Josh pulled out of the parking lot, putting on his favorite rock station as he did so. Once we got going, he turned down the radio. "So, what do you want to next?" he asked.
I thought for a moment. "Homework, I guess, and then I'll practice for a while." Not too exciting, but what else would I be doing on a school night?
He shook his head. "No, no, I meant, what do you want to do next to Kathy?"
"Um." I wasn't sure how to answer him. I thought that the roach thing was it.
"Well, we can't do nothing," Josh said, as if he could read my mind. "We're on a roll now."
"But I got to play the solo today. That's what we wanted."
"No, the idea is to get you back your seat and we haven't done that yet. So we need to keep going."
I sighed. "I don't know, Josh. I'm not very good at this. I couldn't even catch the roach today."
"But I don't want to do this alone," Josh explained. "I want you to get your seat back, but I really want you to help." He grinned. "Come on, when you get placed in first chair again, don't you want to be able to take credit?"
"I want to know I'm first chair because I'm a good flutist."
"You are. You're a great flutist." He patted my arm. "Everyone knows that. This has nothing to do with that; it has to do with Kathy being a bitch and Mr. Francis being a dick. Don't you want to get what you deserve?"
Josh's blue eyes were wide and pleading and his lips were turned into a pout, which made him look really vulnerable and cute. I could still feel where he'd touched my shoulder. Man, I thought I was strong enough to not become one of those girls who'll do anything for a guy, but I knew that I wanted to keep spending time with Josh ... even if it meant doing some uh, unusual things. Besides, it wasn't like I liked Kathy.
"Okay," I told him. "I'll think of some ideas. But again, nothing that's too terrible."
Josh smiled. "Have I let you down yet?"
###
Josh didn't drive me again that week but over the next few days, he made a point to say hello to me in band or if we happened to pass each other in the halls. This didn't go unnoticed by Lana.
"I think he likes you," she said on Friday afternoon after he called to me while walking by my locker. "He didn't just say hi to you when you happened to catch his eye. He went out of his way to get your attention." She peered into the small mirror in my locker and put on a fresh coat of pink gloss.
"Well, I guess we're kind of friends now," I said, shrugging. Instead of gloss, I spread on some ChapStick; not nearly as luscious, but functional. "But I don't think he likes me like that. He can date almost anyone he wants. Why would he want to date me?"
Lana looked at me. "Why wouldn't he?" She sighed. "Seriously, Mel, you need more confidence. You're cute. If you believed in yourself a little more, guys would ask you out." She offered me her lip gloss. "If you use this, you'll be hot."
"I'm not cute, I'm fat," I argued, pushing her hand away. I made a face and looked at myself in the mirror. My stomach bulged, my boobs sagged. Next to Lana, I looked like a marshmallow.
"You're not fat, despite what your mom says," she replied. "Your curvy. And guys like curves. You should wear more low-cut things, show off your assets."
I eyed my chest again. “So I can show off mounds of flab?”
“No, so you can show off a nice figure.”
"Look, I'm just not good at flirting," I reminded.
My friend smiled. "I'd say you're doing a pretty good job with Josh. After all, he keeps making up excuses to see you."
"Maybe," I muttered.
"What do you mean 'maybe?' He probably planned this whole Kathy thing so he could work with you."
"Maybe." I turned away from her.
Lana turned me back toward her and looked me in the eyes. "So c'mon, admit it -- you have a little crush on him."
"Maybe," I said, smiling.
Lana jumped up and down. "That's great! Crushes are fun. And I can tell you, it's nice when you have someone to think about in a boring class."
Just then, Ken walked by, his arm around Dani, who he’d recently started dating. They made quite the All-American pair; the blonde football player and his blonde cheerleader girlfriend. "Hey, Mel, " Ken said, as he passed by, ignoring Lana. "Nice job in band." Dani didn't say anything; she just crinkled her nose at us and chewed loudly on a piece of gum.
"Uh, hi," I said. "Thanks."
Once they were out of sight, Lana stuck her head in my locker and moaned. "I hate him. I hate that stupid dick-face and his stupid beyotch of his girlfriend." She crossed her arms. "Did you see the look she gave me? And can you believe he had the nerve to ignore me? What a pig!"
"Oh yeah," I said, closing my locker. "Getting involved with guys is real fun."
###
Later at band, I found Josh waiting for me in the music locker room. He was wearing a black Billy Joel T-shirt and was leaning against the lockers as if he didn't have a care in the world. "What are you doing this weekend?" he asked.
I shrugged. "Visiting my grandfather, uh, painting and studying." I sort of hated when he'd ask me these type of questions because I always sounded so boring. I reminded myself to make up some wild adventure the next time he decided to chat me up, something like, "I spent my weekend sky diving then went snow boarding. And then I hung out with movie stars."
Josh put on his lopsided grin. "Well, I have a better idea. Why don't you come to my house?"
Come to his house? I pinched myself to make sure I'd heard right.
"C'mon," he said, not waiting for my answer. "It'll be fun." He looked around and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I figured it would be easier to work on our little project if we actual
ly spend some time on it. We'll go online... look for some ideas and stuff."
"Oh." My heart sank. So he didn't want me to come over so he could be with me. He was just worried about the Kathy thing.
"I'll have to see if it's okay with my parents," I said, doing my best to mask my disappointment. "Like I said, I have a lot to do this weekend. I'm really busy."
"I'll bet you are," Josh replied, looking into my eyes. "But think about it, okay?"
"Okay." We both made our way into the band room.
###
When I got to my section, I could see that Kathy was not exactly Miss Cheerful. Her eyes were red and her cheeks blotchy. She'd obviously been crying over something, but I wasn't about to ask her what was wrong. "Watch where you're stepping!" she snapped as I plopped down in my chair. She glared at me as she shoved her flute case under her seat. "You almost stepped on my things. Do you know how much it cost?"
"It's a flute case," I answered. "It would've been fine."
"I don't care. I don't want your footprints mucking it up. God knows what you've stepped in with those shoes." She glanced at my sneakers and wrinkled her nose. "Those are really ugly, by the way," she added.
"Whatever." I calmed myself with the thought of Josh's invitation. But when I saw Kathy quickly text someone on her phone, I couldn't resist taking a look. "WE BRK UP. IT SUX," it said. "I H8 ADAM."
I realized things weren't going so well with Kathy and her college guy. Guess even beautiful people have romantic troubles.
CHAPTER 6
On Saturday, I woke up early so that I could visit my grandfather. This would make my mom happy and then it would be easier to get her to take me to Josh's house. Not that I don't love my grandfather or anything. But it's hard seeing him looking like a shell of himself when it was only a while ago that he was so full of life.
After my dad dropped me off by the nursing home, I stood outside for a moment and stared at the boxy gray building in front of me. The place where my grandfather's staying is a special center for elderly patients who are in really bad shape. They call it a "home," but it's really more like a hospital. That's why I hate visiting. I hate the sterile antiseptic smell; the cold, muted colors of the walls, the way the staff talks to the patients as if they're children. Most of all, I hate that feeling I always get of being helpless and knowing that no matter what I do, my grandfather might not improve. I guess my mom has more hope than I do because she's down at the home almost every day. I sometimes wonder what I'd do if she or my dad got sick. Would I be able to put my life on hold the way she has with my grandfather? The thought scares me.
Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad Page 4