Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad

by Rabinowitz, Naomi

  "Fa la la la la," he shrieked in a falsetto voice, "La di da di da."

  A woman in the audience stifled a scream, while everyone else tried not to crack up. "Who is that?" I heard someone next to me whisper. A murmur broke out over the crowd. "Maybe we should call security."

  Kathy attempted to continue her piece, but her flute let out a loud squawk in the middle of a difficult passage. Lenny kept going on, as well.

  "La la la la la," he sang out. "Doo bee doo bee doo."

  By now, everyone was openly laughing at the guest "performer," which just rattled Kathy; she ended up turning the page and skipping an entire passage. Mr. Francis arrived with two security guards and was pointing at the window. Lenny quickly ducked down and I hoped for his sake, was making a run for it. The guards walked toward the window....

  That's when I heard Lana let out a shriek that could've been used in any horror movie. Everyone abruptly stopped what they were doing. Kathy just gave up and threw her music on the floor, quietly cursing. Her eyes filled with tears. No one noticed, though, because of the commotion.

  "Oh my God, oh my God!" Lana was yelling. "There's a rabid dog in the hallway! Stop him before he bites someone!"

  A tiny terrier dog ran into the band room. Seriously, he was so small, you could probably fit him in your pocket. He was just about the cutest doggie I'd ever seen.

  "Aww," called out several of the audience members.

  "Oh, he's sooo adorable!" said one woman. She tried to pet him, but he backed away. "He's such a little baby."

  A few other people tried to catch him, but the little guy was quick. He scurried and scampered around the band room, sniffing in every corner. Mr. Francis and the security guards joined in the chase as the terrier did laps around the room. Mr. Francis was bright red and dripping sweat from all the exertion. "Someone," he panted, "stop ... that ... animal." Pant, pant. "He's ... causing ... too ... many ... dis ... tractions." Pant.

  With all the panting, Mr. Francis was beginning to sound like a dog himself.

  The audience roared. Our conductor and the dog hurried around and around the room in what looked like a bizarre game of tag. A few members of the audience tried to grab the terrier, with no success. He scampered out of the band room and went next door to the orchestra room, where the refreshment table was set up. We all followed.

  "Come back here!" one of the security guards bellowed. "I'm gonna get you, you little sucker, and then it's the glue factory for you!"

  "That's where they take horses," someone pointed out.

  "I don't care," he yelled. "This little guy's already caused enough trouble."

  He spoke too soon. The guard nearly had the dog, but the animal got away once again. In an effort to escape, he ran with all his might ... right into the refreshment table. Within seconds, the floor was covered with cupcakes, candy bars, and fruit punch. The terrier happily licked up the food.

  Just then, a young blonde girl appeared and ran up to the guard. "That's my dog!" she cried. "That's Poocher. He's always running away."

  The guard checked the dog's tags and handed him over to her. "I guess he got in with some of the guests," he concluded. "Please take him out of here. And kindly tell your parents that if they don't chain him up or keep him inside, he's going to end up at the pound."

  "Nooo, don't take him to the pound!" the girl yelled. She began to sob. "He didn't mean it. I thought I'd lost him forever!"

  "It's okay," the guard said, a little more gently. "No one's taking your dog away. Just bring him home." To Mr. Francis and the rest of us he said, "I think we're done here. You guys can go back to your recital. Tell that young lady that she can continue with her solo."

  But it was too late for Kathy, who was clearly in no shape to play. She just sat hunched over in one of the chairs, refusing to look at anyone.

  ###

  After the recital, my friends met me in the parking lot.

  "Dude, that was awesome, man," crowed Lenny. He'd changed back into his normal clothes. "Did you see the look on her face when I showed up? HA-HA, HA-HA, HA-HA!"

  "I know, right?" said Lana, giving Lenny a high-five. "But what did you guys think of my scream? Pretty good, huh?"

  "Yeah, my ears are still ringing!" said Lenny.

  Lana laughed. "But seriously," she asked Josh, lowering her voice. "What do you think people are gonna say about all of this, about the freak in the window? Will they come after us?"

  "I doubt it," Josh answered. "I mean, it's not like anyone will know who Lenny is because he goes to another school. And it's not like he threatened anyone. They probably just think it's a stupid prank. It'll blow over in a few days."

  Lana nodded. "You're probably right."

  "Aw, man," sighed Lenny. "I was hoping they'd put my picture in your school paper."

  The little blonde girl who'd claimed the dog emerged from a blue car and approached us. "Okay," she said to Josh, "hand it over."

  I watched, astonished as Josh handed her a five-dollar bill. "Are you serious?" the girl asked, critically eyeing the money. "I did a great job in there. I deserve an Academy Award."

  "You're right, you're right," agreed Josh, fishing in his pocket. He gave her two more dollars. "There, are you satisfied? It's all I've got."

  The girl stuffed the bills into the tiny purple purse she had on her. "It'll have to do," she said, "but next time I do a favor for you guys, I want more."

  "Okay," said Josh. We all watched as she returned to the car and hopped into the passenger's side. Josh, Lana and Lenny smiled and waved to the driver as they rode off.

  After they were gone, I turned to Josh. "Uh, who was that?" Lenny smiled. "My friend Chaz. And that was Chazzy's little sister, Laura. Poocher's her dog. Isn't he cute? I was playing with him before Josh picked me up."

  Lana and I exchanged a look. No wonder he'd smelled bad!

  I frowned. "But how old is that girl, 10? It must be past her bedtime."

  Lenny snorted. "Dude, are you serious?"

  I just shook my head, still not quite processing all that had happened that evening. I stretched my arms over my head and let out a loud yawn.

  "I think it's past Mel's bedtime," chuckled Josh. He unlocked his car's doors. "Come on, everyone, let's get home."

  Lenny returned to the front seat, while Lana and I took the back. As we were buckling our seatbelts, Lana leaned toward me.

  "OMG, Mel, we have so much to talk about," she whispered in my ear. "Josh likes you. I can totally tell."

  I glanced up front to make sure they couldn't hear us, but the guys were playing with the radio. "How?" I whispered back.

  "He kept asking me for stories about you as a kid. Guys don't ask that kind of stuff unless they really care."

  I groaned softly. "What did you tell him?"

  "Relax, I didn't tell him anything bad or embarrassing," she murmured. "I told him what a good friend you are." She smiled. "But I'm certain that the guy is completely into you."

  ###

  Later, after Josh had dropped off Lenny and Lana had entered her house, he walked me to my front door. I walked slowly, not wanting the night to end. "So tonight was one for the books," he said. He laughed. "I think it's safe to say that you've now officially defeated Kathy."

  I thought back to the image of her sitting hunched up and crying, but pushed that out of my mind. "I guess I have," I said. "But she deserved it. She's always so nasty to me."

  "That was it, right?" Josh asked. "Game over?"

  I shrugged. "I guess. You made it pretty clear that after today that the Kathy thing was over. But thanks for tonight."

  "You know, you were great," he told me, pushing a lock of hair away from my forehead. "The thing is, I think that even if we hadn't distracted Kathy, you would've been the stand-out performer of the evening."

  "Thanks," I said shyly.

  "It doesn't matter what stupid Francis thinks. Now everyone knows you're the best."

  "Thanks," I repeated, wondering why my vocabul
ary had suddenly seemed to all but disappear.

  "You know what else?" Josh said quietly. He shifted his eyes down to the ground. "You look really pretty tonight."

  "Thanks," I said again, blushing. He leaned in, and I was overcome with panic and excitement, thinking he wanted to kiss me. Would I know what to do? Instead, he pulled me into an embrace.

  "I'll-I'll call you," Josh stammered as he pulled away from me. "Maybe we could, uh, go to the city, or uh, something over Christmas break."

  "Okay."

  "Um, I guess I'll see you soon then," he said.

  "See ya," I said.

  He walked to his car, not looking back.

  I watched him drive away.

  CHAPTER 12

  "Somebody has a boyfriend, somebody has a boyfriend," Lana teased as we sat at my kitchen table. It was the first day of our holiday break and we were both in good moods, especially since Josh had called the night before and invited me to go to Manhattan with him.

  My parents were also in decent spirits, mainly, I guessed because my grandfather had been showing some signs of improvement. That said, my mom didn't give me a hard time when I asked if Lana could bake Christmas cookies with me. "We've both been busy and I haven't seen as much of her," I explained. "You know how she loves celebrating the holiday with us. And I promise I won't eat all the cookies," I added for good measure.

  "No, it's okay," Mom said. "It'll actually help me if you girls do some of the baking. It'll save me a lot of work and then I can give your cookies as gifts to the other performers in my orchestra."

  "Great idea. They'll love that."

  She was even cool about me going into the city. "Just take your phone and don't talk to anyone who looks shady," she warned me. "And be careful when you cross the streets."

  "Mom, I'm 15. I know how to cross a street!"

  "I know, but they have crazy drivers there."

  I rolled my eyes. "I think I'll be okay."

  As Lana and I sat at the table cutting the dough into stars, mini-Santas and bells, we discussed what we'd nicknamed "Operation Josh," otherwise known as "How To Get The Guy Of My Dreams To Finally Make A Move On Me."

  "I don't know why he hasn't," I complained. "I mean, is something wrong with me? I know he's out of my league..."

  "He's not out of your league," Lana interrupted. She lightly bonked me on the head with a rolling pin. "You say that again and I'll have to hit you harder."

  "Then what's his deal? He's had millions of girlfriends. I'm pretty sure he knows what to do with a girl."

  "Yeah, but it's different if you just want to make out with someone and if you really like the person," she explained. "Plus you're younger than him and haven't had much experience..."

  "Gee, thanks for reminding me!"

  "Anyway, he could be afraid of moving too fast for you. You're obviously not just some girl to him, you're important. He might be afraid that if he kisses you, you'll freak out and that'll be the end of your friendship."

  "But I wouldn't freak," I said. I groaned. "I can't believe he thinks I'm such a prude."

  Lana shrugged. "He probably just respects you." She sighed, most likely thinking of Ken. "Trust me, that's a good thing."

  "I know, but I don't want him to be so protective," I told her. "What do I do to get him to stop?"

  "It's simple. Make the first move. Kiss him."

  I blushed just thinking about what almost happened the other night. "I-I couldn't. I don't even know if I know how."

  "You do," she assured me. "It's like an instinct." She lowered her voice. "I can tell that you're a wild woman!"

  "Lana!" Now it was my turn to playfully hit her.

  She worked on her cookies for a few minutes, lost in thought. "You know, you definitely need to have a gift for him," she finally said. "That will get his attention."

  "You think?" I eyed the cookies. "I can always give him a batch of these."

  "Sure, you can give him cookies, but you need to get him something else, too. We're talking about a guy who cleaned up your kitchen for you on Thanksgiving. Show him how grateful you are for that."

  "But I don't have much money. Oh, I know," I said. "I can give him one of my paintings." Now that I'd finished with the Magritte-type ones, I was proud of how they'd come out. Josh was the one who'd suggested I look up the guy in the first place so I was sure he'd like something like that. But Lana made a face at the mention of my artwork.

  "I don't know, you're talented, but your paintings might be a bit, uh, much," she said. "You don't want to scare him off. Maybe save that for later. You do have some cash that you've saved up from birthday gifts and stuff, right?"

  "Yeah, but not enough to get him anything good." In my mind, I ran through a list of things Josh would probably like: motorcycles, leather jackets, original vintage albums ... nope, I definitely couldn't afford any of that.

  "Well, when we're done here, let's go to the mall," Lana said, her face lighting up at the mere idea of shopping. "I'll help you find something. I'm good at this sort of thing."

  I smiled. "You're right, you are. You're the best."

  "Damn straight I am. And I have a good feeling about the city," she added. "I am zee great psychic Lana," she boomed in a foreign accent, "and I pree-dict that he's going to make a move soooon. SOOOOOOON!" We both cracked up.

  ###

  When we'd finished baking the cookies, Lana asked her older sister to drive us to the mall. The parking lot was so crowded, it took us nearly a half hour to drive up to the front entranceway. As soon as we headed inside, Lana strutted forward through the crowds, a woman on a mission. I followed her, doing my best to keep up.

  She suddenly stopped when we strolled past one of the shoe stores. "Ooh, look at those!" she cried, eyeing a pair of tan leather boots with fringe. "Oh, they would look so cute on me, don't you think?"

  I eyed the price tag and gasped. "Lana, they're $1000."

  She sighed. "Okay, I guess I'll have to find something else." She then perked up again. "But we're here to get your thing. So let's go!"

  ###

  For the next two hours, we visited pretty much every store in the mall. Usually I hate malls, especially when they get too crowded during the holidays, but I found myself enjoying the experience. Despite there being so many people around, everyone seemed to have smiles on their faces as they purchased gifts for their friends and families. I loved seeing how each shop was decorated for the holiday. I knew, though, that my sudden burst of optimism really had to do with me having Josh on my mind. I guess love really does make you view the world differently.

  Shopping with Lana took a lot of patience. She was like a whirlwind, who'd zip from one store to another ... and then reject everything I suggested along the way.

  "Nope," she said when I asked if I should get him a book. "Book are nice, but not the type of thing you give to make an impression. They're too much like school." As a lover of books, I disagreed with her, but wasn't about to argue.

  I then mentioned getting him a gift certificate to the music store, but she stopped me mid-sentence. "A gift certificate, are you kidding me? That's as impersonal as you can get." Okay, I did agree with her there. I hate when I get gift certificates to stores I never shop in. I'd rather just get the money.

  I finally spied something that could work in one of the last stores we stopped in. In the corner of the card store was a little tree on which hung various ornaments for sale. I fingered the tiny wooden soldier, who just happened to be holding a trumpet. "What do you think?" I asked Lana, holding him up. "It has something to do with music and I can afford it."

  Lana came over to examine it and then smiled. "It's perfect," she said softly. "He'll love it."

  I was relieved that I'd managed to find something she approved of. But then I took a second look at it. "I don't know, you don't think it's lame? It's so little."

  "He'll love it," she repeated. "Trust me. Like I said, I have great instincts when it comes to these sort of things."
/>   ###

  Josh and I planned to meet up on Tuesday, two days before Christmas. He wanted to spend the entire day in the city so he arranged to pick me up at seven in the morning.

  "Ugh, are you serious?" Lana said, when I filled her in. "This is my holiday break. I wouldn't get up that early for anyone, even if he was my dream boy."

  "I don't mind," I said. "It means I'll get to spend more time with him."

  "That's true. And if you get sleepy, it's the perfect excuse for you to rest your head against his shoulder. You're looking for ways to make a move on him -- that's a classic."

  I laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

  On Tuesday morning, I got up around 5:30. My alarm wasn't set to go off for another hour, but I just couldn't sleep. I was too excited about my day ahead.

  Was Lana right? I wondered. Was it up to me to make the first move? I wasn't sure, especially since Josh was the type of guy who'd never seemed to have any problems with this in the past. I figured he knew what he was doing ... or didn't want to do, as the case could be.

  After debating this for a half hour, I finally decided to just stop worrying about it. He'd invited me to go to the city with him, which was a good thing, right? Even if he didn't want me as a girlfriend, he was still my friend.

  ###

  After finishing my breakfast, I grabbed my winter coat and went to wait for him on the front porch. The air was cool and crisp, but the sun was just beginning to come up over the horizon. I stared up at the sky, admiring the change in colors as the light streaked the indigo with pinks and oranges. Though it was early and nearly freezing, the quiet of the morning calmed me. I liked feeling as if I were the only one alive.

  A few minutes later, Josh pulled into my driveway. "Hey," he said, stepping out of his car to greet me. "You ready for our big adventure today?"

  I grinned. "Yep. I love going to the city."

  "Cool." He glanced at my backpack. "But I need you to bring one more thing. Take your flute, okay?"

  I looked at him. "What? Why?" I couldn't help being suspicious; Josh never seemed to have a "normal" day planned for us, especially when it involved music.