"Mel, Josh has been calling and texting all morning," Mom said, sticking her head into my room. "Are you going to answer?"
"No!" I said. I pulled the covers up over my head and slid down beneath them.
"Do you wanna tell me what's going on?"
"It's nothing," I grumbled. "Just ignore him."
"Uh, that's pretty difficult to do when someone's called five times," she said. "Can you please just talk to him already? He obviously has something important to say."
"No, he doesn't. Tell him that if he doesn't stop, I'm going to get a restraining order."
My mom turned to Lana. "Do you know what's going on with my daughter since she refuses to fill me in?"
I peeked out from under the covers and saw Lana shake her head. "I think Mel just has major PMS or something."
Just then, my phone rang. My mother picked it up. "Sure, she's right here," she said. She handed it to me, or well, the lump under my covers that was shaped a lot like me. "It's Josh. Again."
I burrowed deeper beneath them. "Lana, will you talk to him? I can't deal with this," my mom said. I heard Lana sigh and take the phone. Traitor.
"Yeah, yeah," Lana was saying. Pretty soon, a hand appeared beneath my covers and held the phone next to my ear. I tried to squirm away, but she just kept pressing the phone against me. "You keep doing that and I'll join you under there," Lana warned.
"Okay, okay," I said, realizing I was outnumbered. "Gimme the damn phone."
"Mel, I'm so sorry," Josh said as soon as he heard me breathing on the other end. "Really, really sorry."
"That's nice," I sneered.
"I don't even know where to begin about last night. Truthfully, I don't remember half of it. But I know I was a jerk to you, and I'm sorry."
"Yeah, you were a jerk," I replied. "No ... come to think of it, that's an understatement. Look, Josh, what it comes down to is, I don't think you possibly know how much you hurt me last night. I can't even express it."
"Oh..." He didn't seem to know what to say. "Um, well... I don't even know how to apologize. I know I was wrong. But if you'd just give me a chance ... I promise I'll make this up to you. That's all I want, another chance."
I hung up the phone before he could say anything more.
###
After that, Lana came and sat on the edge of my bed. Her eyes were red, probably from crying all night. "Mel, I don't want to fight with you," she said softly. "Can we please just forget whatever it was that happened between us?"
"Yeah," I said, sitting up. "I don't want to fight with you either."
She stretched her arms above her head "I am on your side, you know. I guess I was just trying to prevent you from losing someone you care about. But I do understand how much this hurts. And I do think he's an idiot for what he did, drunk or not."
"Thanks." I hugged her.
"You know this will be okay, right? That everything will blow over soon enough?"
"Maybe," I said, "but I'm just tired of people finding reasons to laugh at me. I finally thought I met someone ... and then he went and humiliated me along with the person who hates me most. It's just so messed up."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I doubt their kiss was that great anyway. They probably both tasted like beer. That's so gross. Yuck." She stuck out her tongue. "I can barely stand how my mouth tastes right now. About the last thing I can think of doing is kissing someone else with beer breath."
"You really think their kiss sucked?"
"Yeah. Trust me -- that type of kiss so doesn't count. Maybe you didn't kiss for as long, but at least he was sober."
I nodded. "That's true."
"You know, you said some mean things last night. But for the record, I just want you to be happy," Lana said.
"I was just upset," I said. "I didn't mean to make you my punching bag." I stood up on my bed and jumped up and down a little. "You know, you were right, I do feel better now."
"Good." Just then, I heard my mom’s phone ring downstairs. I wondered if it was Josh, but realized that he didn’t have my parents’ phone numbers. It was probably just something business related.
I heard my father answer the phone and mutter something to the person on the other line. As I waited for him to call for me, I tried to think about what I'd say to Josh if he called again. Should I forgive him? Did he deserve another chance? Yeah, he screwed up royally, but it wasn't like he usually went around randomly kissing people...
Finally, my father appeared in my door, but didn't have the phone with him. His face was grave. "Sit down, Melinda," he said, nodding to my bed. "I have some bad news."
###
My grandfather's funeral was held a couple of days later. After, when everyone gathered at our house, I hid in my room. My dad had picked up the framed photo I made from the hospital; it was now sitting on my desk. I held it up. My grandfather looked so young in the picture. It was hard to believe that just a few days ago, he'd been talking to me and now he was gone.
"Mel..." My mom stood in my doorway, still clad in her black dress suit. I went over and hugged her. "Melinda, Josh is here to see you."
I looked up in surprise.
"I don't know what happened between you two the other day, but this isn't the time to hold grudges. Let him comfort you. He's been a good friend."
"Okay," I said, "but for just a little while." I really just wanted to be by myself.
Josh entered my room, and handed me some roses. "I'm really sorry, Mel," he said. "When I called a little while ago, Lana gave me the bad news."
"Thanks." I placed the flowers down on my bed.
"Is that your grandfather?" He picked up the picture. "You know, he looks a little like you around the eyes."
"I know," I said, my throat tightening. "He was just this really cool guy. He was laid-back and funny, a lot different from us and he always made me laugh..." I choked on the words. Josh pulled me into an embrace.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, resting his chin on my head. "I've lost people close to me, too. It's awful."
"I don't think I'm ever going to feel normal again," I admitted. Though being in Josh's arms was definitely a start.
"Well, I'm here if you want to talk or not talk, or anything," he said. He led me over to my bed and we sat down. "And I know this probably isn't the right place, but about the other night..."
I cut him off. "I don't want to talk about it. Especially not now."
"I was an idiot..."
"Josh, not now," I said, sniffling. "There's so much going on, I can't worry about that."
Josh looked down. "You're right. I'm sorry."
I gave him a small smile. "Look, I don’t hate you or anything. It's just that ... it was you and Kathy, of all people. And when you kissed me, I thought..."
"That it meant something?" he finished. "It did. That day we spent together in the city was the best. And Kathy, well, you know how I feel about her."
I managed a laugh. "At least she didn't dump soda over you this time."
"Maybe you should've done that to me instead." He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Mel, I didn't think there was ever a question about how I feel about you, but I care about you. A lot. I didn't want to kiss Kathy. I only want to kiss you. I'll be waiting for when you're ready to talk about it and for me to make things right."
###
That evening, I went downstairs to help clean up. My mom was sitting in the dark, quietly crying.
"Mom," I called out. "Are you all right?"
I turned on the lights and sat down next to her. She put her arm around me. "He's really gone," she said. "I just can't believe it."
"I'll miss him, too," I said. "I loved him."
"That's not the only reason why I'm crying," she confessed. "I feel guilty."
"For what? You were a great daughter. You did so much for him."
"That's just it, Mel. I've spent nearly every waking hour for the last few months in the hospital with him. And it's been so hard. I hate to say it, but I feel sort of ... re
lieved that I don't have to go back there." She blew her nose. "What does that say about me as a person?"
"Mom, Grandpa hated that you spent so much time there. He thought you were wasting your life. He said this the other day."
"He did?" She looked up at me.
"Yeah. He said you were cramping his style."
She began to laugh. "That's so like him." She changed the subject. "What's going on with you and Josh, honey? You seemed so happy with him a few days ago."
"He just disappointed me. I really thought that our relationship was going someplace, but then he did something stupid. In fact, I'm still not sure what we are to each other, even though we've basically made up."
"Maybe you should just enjoy whatever you have together for now." I could tell she was thinking of Grandpa. "He obviously cares for you in some way, and that's important."
"I didn't think you liked him. Josh, I mean."
"I don't really know him, Mel," Mom said. "But anyone who sticks around to help you clean up after you've had a temper tantrum can't be bad." She wiped her eyes. "So, how'd I do? Did I sound mom-ish? I've been a little out of practice."
"You were okay," I said.
"Mel, I know I haven't been around much this year. But now..." She sniffled. "Things will get back to normal. I promise."
We just sat there for a while, enjoying each other's company.
CHAPTER 15
School was back in session in early January, but after the vacation I'd had, I welcomed the routine. At home, everyone was being kind. I knew that our relatives meant well, but I needed to be able to forget my pain for a while. I'd been thinking about my grandfather every single night since his death, counting backwards each day from when it happened. It was the worst for me during the night when everything was quiet. It was then that I had waking nightmares, when I'd remind myself over and over again what I could've done differently when he was alive. My parents urged me not to have any regrets, but I had plenty. Being in school, at least, would give me a chance to move forward.
###
Things got off to a decent start in band. I'd dreaded seeing Kathy again after the whole party debacle, but she didn't even look at me when I sat down. She simply stared at her music, deep in thought. I noticed that she had dark circles beneath her eyes and her face was pale and drawn. I guessed her vacation hadn't been so great either. Maybe her parents had been on her case for getting so drunk at the party ... or maybe she was just still upset over Ken. Probably the latter, I decided.
Josh was also keeping some distance from me, most likely so he could give me space after everything that had happened. I wanted to run up to him and tell him how much I missed being with him, but knew I wasn't quite ready. When I got to band, though, I found a sympathy card from him placed on my chair. "You're a very special person," he'd written. "Even though I never met him, I know that your grandfather was very proud to have someone like you for a granddaughter." I searched for him in the band room and we locked eyes; when I held up the card and waved, he broke into his beautiful grin.
Mr. Francis was also smiling when he approached his podium. "Happy New Year, band," he bellowed. He rapped a baton against his stand. "I hope you all had a great holiday. Meantime, I have some terrific news. Remember my friend, Dr. Chambourg?”
Of course we all remembered! A low rumble swept across the group. "Enough, enough," our conductor said, rapping his baton again, only he was laughing. We quieted down. "Well, as I was saying, I have something wonderful to tell you. Chambourg loved our recital, despite all of the distractions," Mr. Francis muttered. "But the rest of it, he enjoyed very much. That said, he's chosen not just one, but two of our performers to join his orchestra this summer: Kenneth Samuels and Melinda Rhodes, would you please stand up? Everyone congratulate them!"
My stomach dropped and my legs turned to jelly as I slowly rose out of my chair. I couldn't believe I'd heard him correctly. I knew I played well at that recital, but I wasn't counting on getting a spot in Chambourg's group. But there I was, taking a bow while everyone applauded. "Mel, that's awesome!" Maya said, squeezing my hand. I looked over and waved to Ken, who was busy getting high-fives from the rest of the trumpet section. He had a huge smile on his face and was shaking his head like he couldn't quite process the news, either. Josh caught my attention again and pumped his fists above his head as a sign of my victory. I cracked up.
Once we sat back down, I stole a glance at Kathy. She lifted her flute to her lips, her expression blank, but a single tear rolled down her cheek. I quickly closed my eyes and attempted to erase the vision, the same way I had when I'd seen her crying at the recital. I reminded myself that I deserved a spot in that orchestra. After all, I'd played my heart out that evening and had gotten a standing ovation.
###
I got a nasty surprise when Tamara appeared in my gym class the next day. "I needed to switch some classes around," I heard her explaining to one of the gym teachers. "I need to repeat my math class this semester so they put me in this gym session."
"That's fine," the teacher told her, looking bored. "Just go join one of the volleyball teams."
I cringed as Tamara looked around the gym for an open spot. This was already my most hated class, mainly because for all of the musical skills I have, I have no athletic ability. The last thing I needed was for Tamara to call me "Moo-linda" as I struggled to not get hit in the head with a volleyball.
Of course, once she spied me, Tamara made a beeline for my section. She really is a bitch, I thought, as she sauntered across the gym, a smirk playing on her lips. Just like a female dog, she could smell fear.
"Well, look who it is," she said, standing right next to me. "How'd you like the party the other night? I'll bet you'd love to know what a great kisser Josh is." Tamara made smooching noises. "He and Kathy looked pretty hot together, I think."
"I don't know if you can exactly count it since they were both smashed," I answered.
Tamara shrugged. "Well, Moo-linda, what's important here is that she can get any guy she wants and you can't. And I think she proved that to everyone the other night."
"Know what?" I answered. "I feel bad for her thinking that she needs to prove anything at all."
Tamara glowered at me and crossed her arms over her chest. "You'd better watch your back, Rhodes," she warned. "I know you think you're hot stuff because you had the balls to slap Kathy, but trust me, I am not someone you want to screw with."
"Neither am I," I said, looking right into her eyes. And for once, I wasn’t just saying it; I meant it.
###
The next morning, Kathy was again huddled around her main locker with her friends. Her eyes were even more sunken and hollow and she had her arms wrapped around herself as if she were trying to hide from something. They all glowered at me as I walked past them.
"This isn't fair," I overheard Kathy whisper to them. "She doesn't deserve this. I’m first chair. And I played a much more difficult piece than she did at that recital. It's not my fault that that freak and that dumb dog ruined it for me that night."
"It's okay, Kath," Tamara said. "We all know you're the best. Mr. Francis knows it, too. That other guy with the orchestra is just stupid is all."
"I worked so hard on that piece, too," Kathy said. "My private teacher said it gave her chills when I played. And even my dad liked it. You know him, he never gives me compliments." She sniffled. "My parents were so mad at me when I screwed up that night and now they're even more upset. My dad went on all vacation about how disappointed he is in me; he and my mom were so upset when I told them about not getting the orchestra, that they couldn't even look at me last night. I'm probably never gonna see daylight again, because they're gonna make me practice whenever I'm not in school."
"Then you'll get out of it," Tamara told her. "You always do. Otherwise, Clara and I will help."
"I don't think it's going to be so easy this time..." Their voices faded as I made my way down the hall.
I ducked my h
ead down, again fighting that bubbling sense of shame that churned inside of me. Kathy did deserve what we'd done to her ... right?
###
I dreaded seeing Tamara in gym, but she was not going to make it easy for me to hide from her. During that day's volleyball game, I was almost knocked unconscious when the ball beamed me in the head.
"Ow!" I cried as I stood up. I looked over at Tamara, who was across the net, laughing at me. "That hurt!"
Tamara stopped laughing and stared me down. "You're lucky that's all I do to you, Rhodes. You're such a thief." She grabbed the ball and again threw it at me, but this time I ducked out of the way.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied. I tried to serve the ball back to her as hard as she had to me, but she volleyed the ball without even looking.
"No, I think you know exactly what I mean," she said. "So, what did you do to get into that orchestra, anyway -- blackmail Mr. Francis? Sleep with the other conductor? Everyone knows you stole Kathy's spot." She slammed the ball back in my direction.
Oh God, I thought to myself. She knows, she knows, she knows. I gulped a couple of times and tried to stay calm.
"Look, I practiced, same as she did," I said carefully, but I could hear my voice wavering. "I just didn't mess up during the recital is all." I tried to throw the ball at her again, but this time it missed and bounced off the wall ... hitting me. Tamara cracked up. "Not funny!" I called out.
Tamara stopped laughing and held onto the ball. She narrowed her brown eyes and gave me a strange look. "Yeah, that was kind of weird what happened at the recital, wasn't it? That weirdo standing in the window ... that dog coming in ... all of this happened right during Kathy's piece." She pointed at me. "You did something, didn't you?" She brushed her short dark hair out of her face. "I think you made Kathy mess up that night."
I backed away from her and felt the hairs on my neck stand up. It figured that a witch like Tamara would come so close to determining the truth. She'd probably done millions of evil things to people over the years so she'd recognize a scheme when she saw one. "I... that's ridiculous," I managed to spit out. "Kathy messed up on her own. And she could've started over. No one stopped her from trying again. Part of being a good performer is being able to handle distractions."
Revenge Of A Band Geek Gone Bad Page 16