by B. B. Hamel
He also had deep ties with the mob. They were helping him out, greasing the wheels in a lot of ways. He was also paying off his debt, little by little, and he was getting more deeply ensnared in their web the more he used them.
Then came the pros. He told me about the money, the parties, the women, and the mob. He paid them off, but that wasn’t enough. They had him, and because of that he used their services, paying a premium. He threw party after party just to keep the mafia happy.
I also wrote about his charities. I wrote about him volunteering at local cancer hospitals and about his involvement with Make-A-Wish.
I wrote about everything, sparing no details. Bull came off as a real man, flawed but inherently good, and it was the best thing I had ever written.
And Coop was the second person to read it. Not even Lacy Gray got to read a copy. Only Bull and Coop had seen the whole thing.
“It’s unbelievable,” he said finally.
“So you like it?”
He shook his head. “I do. If you can prove a lot of this stuff, and it gets past my fact checkers, well, this is probably the best story I’ve ever read in my entire career.”
That made me want to stand up and scream for joy. I couldn’t believe Coop liked it, much less was willing to rave about it. Bull grinned at me.
“So then you want it?” I asked him.
“Of course I want it.”
“Hold up now,” Bull said, jumping in. “This is where I get involved.”
Coop cocked his head at Bull. “How’s that?”
“We’re raising the price for this article.”
Coop frowned. “How much?”
“Fifty grand.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “Good joke.”
“I’m serious. Fifty grand. We have meetings with every big publication in the country, but we’re offering it to you first.”
“I can’t do fifty grand.” Coop leaned back in his chair. “Plus, Charley works here. Everything she writes belongs to us.”
“No,” Bull said, “it doesn’t. And I have an army of very expensive lawyers that will say otherwise.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“No. I’m telling you that if you try to pull that bullshit, I will sue this company until it goes bankrupt. I have the resources and the desire. All I need is for you to test me.”
Coop just shook his head, completely taken aback. “I don’t know what to say. Fifty thousand is a lot of money. I can’t make this deal.”
“Okay,” Bull said. “That’s fine. We’ll go elsewhere.” He stood up.
“Wait,” Coop said. “Wait a second. That doesn’t mean I can’t get it done.”
“Don’t waste my time,” Bull said.
“I’m not. Please, sit.”
Bull slowly sat back down. I couldn’t have been prouder.
“Fifty thousand,” Bull said again.
“Okay,” Coop answered. “I want this story. I’ll make some calls and get it done.”
“We have another meeting tomorrow. You have until then to decide, or else someone else will have the chance to buy it.”
“Fine,” he said. Coop looked at me. “Congratulations, Charley. Looks like you’ve outgrown me.”
“Thanks, Coop.”
He shrugged. “Good luck out there, kid.”
“I don’t need luck,” I said, and smiled at Bull.
We all shook hands, and then we left Coop’s office. I couldn’t believe how well that had gone. I felt like we had just won some kind of battle, although really we had just sold a story.
We left the office calmly. Dee was nowhere in sight, but I didn’t really look for her. We got into the elevator and the doors slowly shut.
Bull turned to me.
I laughed and threw my arms around him.
He lifted me into his arms, hugging me hard. “We did it,” he said.
“You did it.”
“Fuck, we did it together.” He put me down and kissed me hard. “God, you’re so fucking sexy to me right now.”
“Stop this elevator. You can have me right here.”
“I bet I can.” He smiled, and we laughed together.
I felt so giddy and lighthearted. I couldn’t believe that had gone down so well. We were getting fifty grand, and we were one step closer to finally being free of the mafia.
After this, after we finally fixed things and paid them their money, they wouldn’t be able to hurt us anymore.
And we had done this together. I wrote the article, but it had been Bull’s idea from the start to write it the way I had. Bull told me the stories, and we worked together on the details. It was his idea, and I couldn’t have done it without him.
We were a team. We were a damn good team, and I couldn’t believe we were really pulling this off.
Soon, we would be raising a baby together. And if this last week meant anything, I had a feeling we were going to make great parents. Great parents were always a great team together, and I knew I could do anything with Bull.
Only a week ago, I felt like I was drowning and like I couldn’t do anything to save myself. But now that I had Bull, I felt secure and safe for the first time since everything had started. He made me feel that way. He made me feel like the world was going to be okay.
That was all because of Bull. He took what was broken and he made it right.
We slowly broke apart as the elevator reached the ground floor. He took my hand in his massive palm, and we walked out into the foyer and left that building together.
28
Bull
I was fucking nervous.
There. I admitted it. I was fucking nervous as I stood there in the empty parking lot, a briefcase full of cash at my feet, a gun tucked into the waistband of my jeans.
I didn’t know how this would go down. I had spoken to Rafa on the phone, and he had agreed to meet me, but I didn’t tell him exactly what we were meeting about. Maybe he expected me to grovel at his feet and beg forgiveness, or maybe he knew better than to expect that from Bull Dixon.
But either way, I was making a serious move here. I’d been dealing with Rafa and men like Rafa for most of my life, and I understood how they operated. They didn’t take this sort of thing lightly, and if Rafa was in the mood, there might be some violence.
I was prepared for violence. Hell, I lived in violence. Hurting men and destroying bodies was how I made my living. Except in this case, the stakes were even higher and we’d both be armed with guns.
It didn’t matter. I wasn’t backing down.
I took a deep breath and pictured Charley’s face back in the elevator two weeks ago. We had just negotiated payment with her boss, and she was fucking glowing with pride and excitement. She was perfect in that moment, and it was right then that I realized I really was in love with her.
It felt weird to know it so suddenly like that. I’d never been in love before, but it hit me, then and there, that what I was feeling had to be love.
I’d do anything for her. When she smiled, I wanted to smile. Bringing her joy and happiness was suddenly a priority for me above almost anything else.
I didn’t read love poems or listen to sappy fucking songs or some shit like that, so maybe I didn’t really know what love was, but in that moment, I was sure.
Just a few hours later, her boss called and confirmed the deal. We’d get fifty grand, and they’d get the best fucking article on the planet.
It was terrifying. I was going to air all of my dirty fucking laundry. All of my secrets were going to be out there. My PR girl assured me that I’d survive it that they’d be running damage control, but it was still nerve wracking.
It didn’t matter, though. In the end, I had money and I had Charley. I could live without money. I couldn’t live without Charley.
I saw the headlights slowly turn into the lot. We were on the south side of Chicago in an abandoned parking lot. There wasn’t another soul for miles, probably, and this was the perfect spot for ending this shit
.
The car parked. It was a big black SUV, the sort of shit you saw in gangster movies. The engine cut and Rafa stepped out.
He was alone. Good.
“Bull,” he said, walking over. “What’s with the fucking theatrics?”
“We need to talk.”
“You have my number, you know.”
“This needed to be done in person.”
“What do you need, Bull?”
I nodded at the briefcase at my feet. “That contains fifty thousand dollars.”
Rafa looked surprised. “And I’m guessing that’s for me?”
“It is for you,” I confirmed. “It’s to buy Charley out of debt, and to get you off my ass.”
“Good,” Rafa said. “Very good. But why do you think we’d leave you alone? You’re such a good fucking earner for us.”
“Because you can’t hurt me anymore. I’m above you now.”
He looked at me for a second before bursting out into laughter. “What the fuck are you talking about, Bull? We’re the mob. We can always hurt you.”
I sighed and shook my head, waiting for him to calm down. When he finished, I spoke.
“Charley wrote that article, just like you wanted. But as soon as it’s published, all of your power goes away. You can’t blackmail me anymore, Rafa. I won’t have anymore secrets.”
He grinned at me. “There are always more secrets. I’m sure you didn’t reveal all of them.”
“I didn’t,” I confirmed. “But after this article, I have my PR team ready to release a bunch of other outlandish rumors. So if you do decide to release something, nobody will believe you.”
I could see the doubt creeping into his expression. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not. We’re fucking done, Rafa. Tell your boss that I’m through with him.”
“Blackmail isn’t the only way we operate,” he said, and I could hear the menace in his tone. “We can hurt you, Bull. I mean really hurt you. Or maybe we can hurt that girl of yours.”
“Threaten all you want. I’m too high profile for you to mess with. Plus, I can hire as much muscle as I need to keep you guys away.” I kicked the briefcase over to him, and it slid across the gravelly ground. “It’s over, Rafa.”
Just then, I saw it: the true anger, the blinding rage I was afraid of. It took hold of his face so quickly that I nearly missed it.
My gun was out and in my hand faster than I thought possible. I aimed it at him and he froze, his hand behind his back, in the process of drawing his own weapon.
“Stop,” I said to him.
He laughed. “You’re not a killer, Bull. You fucking run a charity.”
“I’m not a killer,” I agreed. “Not yet at least. I’m going to back off and leave. You’re going to stay still until I’m gone. Then you have your money, and I have my freedom. Deal?”
“We won’t stop,” Rafa said. “We’ll never stop.”
“Yes, you will. You’re mad now. But your bosses aren’t stupid.” I began to back off, staring at him with my gun leveled. “Don’t call me again.”
“It’s not over,” Rafa called as I continued to back away. “It’s not over by a long shot.”
I made my way to the edge of the lot and then found the corner of the building. I ducked around to the other side and walked fast.
It was over, no matter what he said. He thought they owned me, but nobody fucking owned Bull Dixon.
I was my own man, and all I wanted was my woman and my child.
I hurried to my car, got in, and started the engine. It roared to life, and I smiled to myself.
I rode the elevator up to my penthouse apartment for what was probably the millionth time, but for some reason it felt fresh.
I was running on adrenaline. It was late, around one in the morning, and I should have been exhausted. It had been a long day of gathering funds and preparing for this little meeting, but now that it was over, all that stress that had been building was suddenly completely gone.
I felt new. I couldn’t really understand it or explain it, but I felt like I was a brand new man. It was like something had been washed clean, and now I was starting over.
All of my secrets were about to be made public. The article was going to be published tomorrow, and then I’d be completely exposed to the world. I wasn’t going to be able to do anything about it, and frankly, I didn’t want to.
I should have felt stressed. I should have felt something, but suddenly, now all of that didn’t matter. Now that Rafa had his money, and he knew it was over, I didn’t care about anything else.
Only two things were important to me anymore.
The elevator doors slid open. Across the room, Charley stood up.
I smiled. There they were, the two most important people in my life.
“I was worried,” she said, coming toward me. “How did it go?”
I didn’t respond. I just walked across the room, took her into my arms, and kissed her hard. She seemed surprised but kissed me back. I held her like that for a few minutes, kissing her and feeling her body pressed against mine.
Finally, I broke off. She smiled at me. “Went that well?” she asked.
“I love you,” I said. “I’ve been thinking about that for days now. I just needed you to know.”
She blinked, and her smile got bigger. “I love you too, you big idiot. Why else would I be here?”
I smirked at her. “Because of all the hot sex, obviously.”
“Well,” she said, “that doesn’t hurt.”
I laughed and pulled her back over to the couch, gently pushing her down. She sat and laughed along with me as I knelt down in front of her.
“The article comes out tomorrow,” she said as I kissed her stomach. “Are you nervous?”
“Not at all,” I said.
“Good. I don’t think you need to be. Lacy said she’d handle it all.”
“That’s not it. I just don’t care about any of that anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
I kissed her stomach again. “All that matters is here.” I pulled her shirt up and kissed her belly button. She giggled softly.
“Do you mean that?”
“I mean it.” I kissed her again. “I couldn’t mean it more.”
“What if things go bad? What if you lose your job?”
I kissed her lower. “I have savings.”
“I’m nervous.”
I looked at her. “You don’t have to ever worry, Charley. You’re with me now, and I’m never going to leave.”
She nodded and smiled. “Okay, Bull, prove it.”
“Prove what?”
“Prove how you’re going to take care of me.”
I grinned and laughed at her and then kissed her a little bit lower, and a little bit lower, and lower still.
I was going to take care of her however she wanted. I’d play ball if I could, or I’d do something else if I couldn’t. But all through that, through the ups and the downs that were coming, I’d be with her.
She made it all seem worth it, Charley and my little baby growing inside her.
They gave me a reason to keep fucking fighting.
29
Charlotte
Months Later
I felt so freaking huge.
Probably because I was huge. I still had a few more weeks before my due date, but I could tell that I was practically on the verge of giving birth. I was ready to be done with this stupid pregnancy and get on with my life.
But I was too nervous to really worry about that.
“Are you almost ready?” I called out.
“Almost.”
He took forever to get dressed. I could never get over that. For such a big, tough man, Bull sure could take forever to get ready.
“How’s this?”
I looked over as he walked out into the living room. He wore a suit that was clearly made for him, fitting in all the right places, plus the glasses that I convinced him to wear during interviews.
He grunted. “I still hate these glasses.”
“Trust me, they soften you a little bit. And we all know you could use a little softening.”
Bull laughed and joined me on the couch. “I’m not a soft man, though.”
“I don’t know. You sure do take forever to get ready, a lot like a woman.”
“Are you calling me a woman?”
I smiled at him. “Maybe. And what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing. You’re too pregnant. You’re not thinking clearly.”
I laughed and playfully smacked his arm. He grinned at me and kicked his feet up, leaning back.
After the article was released, there was an absolute shit storm of calls and messages from reporters. Bull ignored it all, as instructed by Lacy, but it was unrelenting. For almost a month, the only thing the sports world could talk about was Bull Dixon.
But Bull Dixon wasn’t talking. The only person he spoke with was his friend Calvin. His coaches weren’t calling him, and neither was the owner. As far as Bull could tell, his team was basically acting like the article never happened.
Which was strange, because they were getting a ton of shit for it. More scandals broke in the wake of Bull’s article, some of them planted by Lacy and her team and some of them legitimate attempts by the mob to make him look bad.
But as Lacy had predicted, nothing stuck. The only things people really talked about were in the article.
And not all of the press was bad. A lot of people were really getting into the story of a young boy who took on his father’s debt to save his mother only to be corrupted by it in the long run. He was getting a lot of sympathy from people.
But he was also getting a lot of vitriol. There was a petition being passed around that wanted Bull to be suspended from the NFL, and the commissioner was apparently thinking about some kind of disciplinary action.
Training camp was coming up in a week, and nothing was resolved. I could remember how angry Bull was that his team hadn’t even contacted him yet. He hated all the lies and the speculation going around, but I did my best to shelter him from the worst of it. He spent most of his time either at the gym with Calvin or back home with me in those weeks.