“Ross was a harmless pothead, a wannabe hippy who got sucked in by some local druggies. He made a bad call with the weed, and Mum never forgave him for it. She conveniently overlooked the months after dad’s funeral when he’d spend hours teaching Eric to play the guitar, help Matt with his assignments, and take all of us in his beat-up van to the beach to swim and surf and muck around.”
The nostalgia in his voice contained a shard of grief that gave his words an edge. For the first time she sensed there was more to the story.
“Did your dad do that sort of thing with you and your brothers?”
Kyle shook his head. “Summer was the busiest time of year for the farm, and once we got off the bus from boarding school we were expected to work. He didn’t have the kind of temperament to sit for longer than a few minutes. There was always something he could find that needed doing.” He blew out a long breath. “I think the hardest part of battling cancer for him was all the sitting and waiting in hospitals. And then later on, not having the strength to be his normal active self.”
“It must’ve been incredibly hard for you to lose your father and uncle so close together,” she said softly.
“Yeah. It was rough. On all of us.” He scraped a hand through his hair. “With Mum on autopilot, the four of us started spending more and more time with Griff.” He shot her a guarded glance. “And I don’t need to tell you what sort of bedtime stories he filled our heads with.”
Icy claws gripped her gut. “Stories about my family.”
“I didn’t get indoctrinated as much since I returned to university at the end of every summer, but my brothers…” His lips seamed together. “It’s not an excuse, but we were young and we had no idea how to work through a grief process, let alone that there was a grief process.”
“You all fumbled through it alone.” She didn’t need to pose it as a question. It was obvious by the harsh angle of his jaw that the four brothers had been left to their own devices.
“Pretty much. Some of us got stuck on guilt”—he lifted his hand with a sheepish grimace—“others on denial, depression, and anger.”
“Eric?” she asked softly.
“Yeah.” He tipped his head back to stare at Beaker, who’d given up howling and now sat like a pissed-off gargoyle watching them below. “All those negative emotions had to get channeled somewhere. I was fortunate that university kept my brain challenged and focused on getting a degree.”
“Your brothers chose to stay on the farm?”
“I don’t think choice played into their decisions. Dave was Dad’s right-hand man with the bees, with Eric tagging along. Griff knew this and used it to his advantage. Matt had the brains to go to university, but Griff played on his sense of duty, told him he could study when he was older. Of course, by the time Matt was older, Griff had piled so much responsibility on him that my brother couldn’t escape the burden of it.”
As Kyle hadn’t been able to shake the burden of guilt for being the brother who’d left to pursue a career. Tui turned, slipped her arms around his waist, and buried her face in the crook of his neck.
“Hey,” he said, stroking her hair. “It’s all in the past. Didn’t mean to drag you into my pity party.”
“You’re not asking for pity,” she murmured into his neck. “So I’m giving you empathy in the form of physical comfort.”
He gave a low chuckle and she squeezed her arms tighter around him.
“Yes, I know,” she said, “you’re imagining other ways I can give you physical comfort.”
“You’re reading my mind now?”
Her lips curved against his sun-warmed skin, loving the feel of their bodies pressed together, not only because of their sexual attraction but in a deeper, grounding sense of acceptance and peace.
It was unlike anything she’d ever experienced with a man before. A stillness of the soul that made her want this moment to stretch out into eternity.
A raucous meow from directly behind her shattered the blissful bubble of silence. Tui twisted in his arms to see that Beaker had decided enough was enough and clawed his way down to a lower branch.
“I think he’s ready to go home,” she said.
“I know I am.” Kyle brushed a kiss on her forehead and released her. “I need another dose of physical contact.”
As she laughed, Kyle reached for the cat, who flattened his ears and hissed. Kyle jerked back, narrowly avoiding a claw-tipped swipe of Beaker’s paw.
“Mate,” he said, exasperated. “I’m trying to help you out.”
A threatening rumble issued from Beaker as he hunkered down even lower on the branch. Trying not to giggle at the offended expression on Kyle’s face, Tui elbowed past him to stand eyeball to eyeball with the growling ginger butterball. Not close enough to get a faceful of claws, though.
She put on her well-practiced aren’t you such a handsome boy? face and puckered up to make kissy noises.
Beaker stopped growling.
Cue more kissy sounds. “C’mon, sweet boy.”
“That’s so hot,” Kyle quipped from slightly behind her.
“Oh, shut up,” she said.
Beaker gave a kitten-like mew and rose to his feet, tail high, spine arching in greeting. Seconds later, his motorboat purr started up. Tui stepped up to the tree trunk, balanced on an exposed root, and snagged Beaker from his perch, holding him close into her chest where he stretched up and butted her chin with his furry head.
“Hope you’re prepared to carry him all the way home.”
Beaker snuggled in closer, jamming his face into her neck. She met Kyle’s amused gaze over the cat’s head. “Of course.”
They headed back in the direction they’d come from, this time with Kyle leading.
“I think your cat likes me,” she called out as they crossed the clearing in single file.
“I think he’s a little in love with you.”
Kyle readjusted his backpack on his shoulders and kept up his brisk pace, but Tui could’ve sworn she heard him say under his breath, “As am I.”
Chapter 18
It started with a text from Tori two and a half weeks after Beaker’s great escape.
Tori: Inquiring minds want to know…how’s the baby daddy dating going?
Tui: Dating? I’m pregnant. Little late for dipping my toe in the dating waters.
Tori: Don’t you know the secret to a lasting relationship is a regular date night? It’s a thing.
Tui: Like you have insider information about lasting relationships, cuz.
Tori: Touché. But how many dates have you two boink-buddies been on? At least three, right?
Tui glanced over at Kyle snoozing on her couch in front of some Hallmark Christmas movie muted onscreen. She wasn’t even sure what the name of it was since they were all pretty much the same. Truth be known, it was a little test on her part to see how tolerant Kyle was about chick flicks—spoiler, very tolerant—and she’d been about to doze off herself when her phone binged.
But did it count as a date?
They’d been seeing each other almost every day, and, ahem, seeing a lot more of each other almost every night. But dating? Candlelight and dinners and ten-pin bowling and crap? Not so much. She racked her brains trying to come up with three actual dates she could list to meet Tori’s little challenge.
Date One. She’d invited him over for a burned steak dinner—dinner being the important word. So, check.
Date Two. The overnight stay at his friend’s place—there were candles. Check again.
But since then…
They’d hung out at the beach with her brothers and their families. They’d gone shopping and Tui’d insisted Kyle buy Beaker an obnoxiously large scratch tower which they’d then spent over an hour assembling. Beaker, of course, preferred the box it came in. There was dinner with her friends, and a pre-Christmas barbecue with Claire and Adam at their eco-house, with Tui trying not to look at Kyle’s face as she sat on the couch—the couch—with his friends.
She screwed up her face at the phone and composed a semi-truthful response.
Tui: At least. He’s coming to my first sonogram at the end of the week, so that counts as another ‘date.’
Tori: That’s pretty lame. What father doesn’t want to see his kid on camera? Where’s the romance, Tu, where’s the ROMANCE? Gotta fly. Update me at Christmas. Xx
Tui set her phone down on the coffee table with a sigh. Kyle’s eyes popped open and he lurched upright.
“What’d I miss?”
She rolled her eyes at him and snuggled into his side. “Only about five sips.”
She pointed at his wineglass, which she’d already refilled once after starting their Christmas movie drinking game. “Someone’s holiday travel plans got screwed up, there was a huge misunderstanding, a kid sang a Christmas carol, the guy and gal kissed in the snow, and a grumpy old neighbor—a widower, so bonus points—discovered the true meaning of the season.”
Kyle scrubbed a palm down his face, then held his hand out for the wine. Tui giggled, passed it to him, and watched him drain the glass. He crooked an eyebrow at her. “Now can we make some Christmas magic of our own?”
She plucked the empty glass from his hands and straddled his lap. “Yes, please.”
Kyle buried his face in her throat, dropping hot kisses along her collarbone.
This was the only romance she needed.
Friday afternoon, two weeks before Christmas, and Bounty Bay was busy. Tui creatively cussed herself for not organizing Vee’s baby shower gift weeks earlier. Leaving it until the day before was really, really dumb.
But she’d managed to find a parking spot on a side street, pick up a few more Christmas gifts, and find her way to the baby section of the department store. Being surrounded by tiny pastel outfits, strollers and changing tables, car seats and cribs which looked like you’d need an engineering degree to figure out how to assemble them, was like stepping onto an alien planet. Bewildering and a little scary.
Don’t overthink this, she ordered herself as she poked through a rack of striped onesies. Don’t think at all.
Fortunately, a sales assistant appeared to offer some guidance, and Tui latched onto her retail knowledge of all things aged five and under. She pretty much handed the woman her credit card and told her to go nuts.
Twenty minutes later she had a giant lemon-yellow plush ducky under one arm and two bags of assorted baby stuff loading down her other arm. She bustled her way out of the store’s sliding doors and with the giant ducky nearly collected a man about to step inside.
“Whoa,” he said. “Need a hand?”
It was Dave, grinning at her as he gave the stuffed duck a wide berth.
Habit had her snipping out an, “I’m good,” but Kyle’s brother ignored her and plucked her shopping bags from her hand.
“I’ll get these. Where are you parked?”
“Tātahi Street.”
Since she didn’t intend to wrestle the bags back from Dave and cause a scene, she walked with him down the crowded Main Street until they turned off into Tātahi. She tossed the duck into the back seat of her SUV, and Dave handed her the shopping bags.
“Thanks,” she said.
He made no move to leave and instead ducked his chin sheepishly. “I’m sorry about how my family behaved when they found out about you being pregnant.”
“You don’t have to apologize on their behalf.”
“I kind of do, because Eric and my mum won’t ever admit they were out of line.” His mouth twisted and he rolled his shoulders. “No one holds a grudge like my mother, so it’s just as well you and Kyle will move to Auckland in the New Year.”
Her jaw sagged while her fingers tightened on the shopping bag handles. “We’ll what?”
“Move down to Kyle’s place where you won’t have Mum and Eric breathing down your neck when the little one arrives.” Dave frowned, slanting her a side-eye. “Oh. Kyle and I talked about it a while back. I thought you two had already made plans.”
“Huh,” she said, her scalp prickling. “Nothing solid at this stage.”
“My bad. It was probably just a passing comment, though I guess Kyle’s got to return to the city at some stage for his work.” He chuckled wryly. “All those eco-homes aren’t going to design themselves.”
“Yeah.” Tui shoved the shopping bags into the passenger seat. “Well, I’d better run. I’m meeting Kyle at the hospital.”
Dave’s eyebrows shot up and he lightly touched her forearm. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”
The genuine concern in his voice dampened her initial anxiety about speaking to him alone. Dave’d been the brother to first hear the news of Kyle’s wife losing their baby, she remembered. It was sweet that he was so thoughtful of his brother’s feelings.
“I’m fine,” she said with a small smile. “And I’m sure the baby is fine, too. It’s just a routine ultrasound check.”
“Good, good.” He ducked around the vehicle and opened the driver’s door for her. “Listen, hope I didn’t drop Kyle in the crapper by mentioning you both moving to Auckland. It was probably an off-the-cuff idea since he hasn’t said anything to you about it.”
He hadn’t. And she didn’t quite know what to think about that.
“After what Kyle and Lydia went through, I wish you guys and the baby all the best, you know?” he added as she climbed into the vehicle.
He shut the door and she buzzed down the window. “Thanks, Dave. We’ll figure something out.”
He gave her a quick salute as a goodbye and walked back toward town.
Tui stared at the rear mirror, grimacing at her reflection. They hadn’t talked about what happened after Christmas and New Year’s, hadn’t really broached the subject again of what would happen once a baby bump was too big to hide.
What would they tell her extended family? His friends and colleagues in the city? Was she going to be a part of his world in Auckland, or would he become part of hers in Bounty Bay? Did he want to be part of her world, or just their baby’s?
Her phone bleated with an alarm she’d set so as not to be late meeting Kyle.
Dammit, she was terrified to know the answers to those questions.
If Kyle was any more nervous, he’d be climbing the walls of Bounty Bay’s hospital waiting room like Spider-Man. Tui sat beside him on one of the hard plastic chairs, a pained expression on her face as she shifted restlessly.
“It’s inhumane,” she said. “Expecting a woman to wait for her ultrasound after drinking a gallon of water and with a bladder swollen to the approximate size of a watermelon.”
He took her hand. “That’s so the technician can get a better—”
“I know, I know. I read the instruction letter from the hospital, too.” Squeezing her thighs together, she rose from her chair and directed a filthy look down the hallway to where the ultrasound room was located.
The heel of his shoe beat a heavy metal rhythm against the chair leg, mimicking Tui’s nervous foot twitching for the past fifteen minutes that they’d been waiting.
Finally, Tui’s name was called and they followed a woman in a white lab coat into a private room.
“Just hop up onto the table, Tui,” she said. “And your…support person can sit beside you.”
Support person? He only had a second to contemplate whether or not to be insulted by the term when Tui shoved her handbag into his chest and clambered onto the table.
“Let’s get this show on the road,” she said.
The technician smiled at Tui with kind eyes. “This won’t take long. You must be dying to see your baby for the first time.”
“That, and the dam is about to burst at any moment.”
She chuckled and rolled Tui’s top up over her still-flat stomach. Tui slid him a sideways glance and he took her hand again, offering a confident smile, even though his heart was pounding so hard it nearly knocked him off the bedside chair.
Was he reliving his and Lydia’s first ultrasound? Hell ye
ah.
Tui squeezed his fingers as the technician applied the gel to her belly and positioned the transducer on it. Transducer—he’d learned the name of the microphone-like bit of equipment from last time around. He swallowed hard, torn between keeping his gaze on Tui’s face or looking at the screen the technician had turned their way.
The woman continued to roll the transducer across Tui’s stomach, pausing frequently to tap buttons on the machine, her expression completely neutral. As in Lydia’s ultrasound, Kyle had no idea how the blurry light and dark shapes onscreen represented an actual baby.
“Everything looks good,” the technician said. “Exactly what I’d expect to see in a healthy ten-week-old embryo.”
Kyle released the breath he’d been holding.
She manipulated the machine’s crosshairs to circle a black spot on screen. “See this fluttering? That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
“Oh,” Tui whispered. “I see it, I see it. The jellybean’s heart is beating! Can you see it, Kyle?” She rolled her head toward him, her dark eyes bright and just a little shiny.
“I can,” he managed to get out of a throat tight with relief and emotion. It still looked like a blob of nothing, but that blob definitely throbbed in a strong rhythm. That blob was definitely his son or his daughter.
The technician put away the transducer and hit another button. “I’m just sending an image to print that screen for you.” She beamed at them while passing Tui a box of tissues. “I’ll leave you to get cleaned up. Congratulations. Baby Ngata looks strong and perfect.”
She left the room. The only sound remaining was the squeak of the door closing behind her and the rustle of tissues being pulled out of the box, then Tui scrambling off the bed.
“I’ll meet you in the waiting room,” she said. “I’ve got to find a toilet—stat.”
She slipped out the door, leaving him alone to stare at the now dark screen.
Tame Your Heart: A Small Town Romance (Bounty Bay Book 6) Page 24