The three girls exchanged a curious glance.
“Everything,” Tiffany said. “From what Dylan tells me, he works all the time and goes running with him a few times a week, but Dylan makes it sound like Carson is otherwise pretty closed off. He said Carson doesn’t talk to any of them about women. Like, ever.”
“I’ve worked for Mick for several years, and when Carson comes by the office, he’s a complete gentleman, very reserved and proper,” Amanda said. “I thought he was like that because our office is so professional, but Brett barges in hitting on Sophie, joking around with everyone, and Carson never has. Is he that serious all the time?”
“That’s such a hard question to answer. He’s a pretty serious guy in general,” Tawny said honestly. “But he has a playful side, and a great sense of humor. At least with me. I mean, I get what you’re saying. He’s never been the type of guy to brag about what he does with women. If anything, he used to downplay it.” Memories of their study sessions came rushing back. Do you have a girlfriend yet? she’d asked a few weeks into their friendship. She used to tease him with “yet” because he’d laugh it off every time and say something like, Not going to happen, Tabs. “I think he’s too confident and in control to brag about anything.”
“Sounds like Heath.” Ally sighed dreamily. “There’s nothing better than a man who’s confident and knows what he likes.”
“My sister is talking about in the bedroom.” Amanda rolled her eyes.
“In and out of the bedroom.” Ally lowered her voice and said, “I mean, who has sex only in the bedroom?”
Tawny felt her cheeks flame. She was surprisingly anxious to jump into their conversation about sex, and equally nervous about doing so. It dawned on her that she and Carson had definitely not had vanilla sex last night, and she wasn’t panicking about the girls finding out. Maybe it was because they were talking so openly, or maybe it was because she really had changed.
“Before Ally got together with Heath, she had a thing for one-night stands. I was just the opposite,” Amanda explained. “I was petrified that something bad was going to happen to her, and then she found the man of her dreams.”
“I’m a lucky woman,” Ally said. “Heath and I met at a conference. We were supposed to be a one-night stand, but you can’t dodge Cupid’s arrow. And then Little Miss Wig and Mask here”—she motioned to Amanda—“followed in my footsteps and found her true love.”
Tawny looked at Amanda. “‘Wig and mask’? Do I even want to know?”
“Hell, yes, you want to know,” Tiffany said. “Her story is ten times better than me showing up wearing nothing but a jacket and heels to surprise Dylan and accidentally flashing his brothers and the Wilds. If that wasn’t enough, I fell bare-ass up in front of Brett.”
Tawny stifled a laugh. “No!”
The waitress brought their breakfasts, and after she walked away, Tiffany said, “It’s the truth. It was definitely not my best moment.”
“Maybe not, but you’re fierce,” Amanda said. “Tiffany owned it when she met them all face-to-face. Carson didn’t tell you?”
“No,” Tawny said, but it didn’t surprise her. “I’m sure he probably blocked it from his mind out of respect for Tiffany and Dylan. He’s not a gossiper. But I really want to know about the wig and mask. That sounds intriguing.” Do you use them in the bedroom? Role-play? Maybe they had more in common than she thought.
Amanda went on to explain how her sister’s relationship with Heath had inspired her to try to step outside of her comfort zone. She’d studied a book on seduction and had gone to a masquerade bar crawl to put her newfound talents to the test—and she’d accidentally tested them on her boss. Mick.
“It turned out we’d both been in love with each other for a long time, and we went for it,” Amanda explained. “I’ve never been happier. Hey, you guys were really close in college, right? That’s what Mick told me. Is that how it was for you and Carson? Or were you just friends before now?”
They were so open and nonjudgmental, the truth came easily. “We were really close friends throughout college, and for almost two years, we were more.” She felt like a thousand pounds lifted from her shoulders, but that didn’t stop her nerves from whirling like a tornado.
“I knew it!” Amanda said. “Mick and his brothers are so frigging loyal, and when they fall in love, they fall forever. The way Carson was looking at you last night? Tawny, you are one lucky woman.”
Knowing they saw the same emotions in the way Carson looked at her as she did made her warm all over.
“Then you’re definitely moving here, right?” Tiffany asked. “We can help you find space for your perfumery.”
“Mandy and Tiff told me you were going to make personalized fragrances,” Ally said. “That’s the coolest idea ever. I definitely want to get on your list. Will you do colognes for men? Can we get one for Heath, too?”
Tiffany pulled out her phone. “I’ll reach out to Phoebe Nice right now and put you two in touch.”
“Wait, you guys…” Overcome with emotions, Tawny felt her eyes dampen with unexpected and confusing tears.
“Oh no, did we say something wrong?” Amanda asked.
“No,” she said, trying to regain control, but her feelings came tumbling out. “I’m just…I spent years trying not to think of Carson, and being with him again is even better than I ever expected. Our connection is so deep, it’s like all those missing years, and my marriage, never existed. But I don’t think I can open a shop here. There’s a little girl in Paris, an orphan named Adeline, and I love her so much. I can’t just leave her. But even the thought of not being with Carson kills me. And now there’s you guys to consider. I have never had friends like you, and overnight you just opened your arms and let me in. I feel like it’s all a dream and I’m going to wake up back in Paris alone again.”
“A little girl? Are you thinking of adopting her?” Tiffany asked.
“I wish I could, but no. It wouldn’t be fair. I work too much, and I’m single, and I’m also orphaned now, so I have no family support. But I’m not ready to move away from her. I really want to stay in Paris until she’s adopted. I need to know that she’s safe and happy with a loving family.”
Amanda touched her arm. “Tawny, even if you go back to Paris, you’ll never be alone again. We’re here for you. But how can you leave Carson? Will he move away from his family? Have you talked about it?”
Oh God. She could never ask him to do that.
“Um. Am I the only one who picked up on the word ‘marriage’? You were married before?” Ally arched a brow.
Tawny could kick herself for letting that slip. Mick and his brothers are so frigging loyal, and when they fall in love, they fall forever. Would they think less of her for having run from her feelings? Should she tell them the truth, or try to play it off in some other way? One look at the empathy in their eyes brought more of the truth.
“Yes. I’m divorced now. In college, Carson and I weren’t a couple. Not in the traditional sense, anyway,” she admitted. “No one knew about us, and we didn’t date, or go to parties together. I had to keep up my grades for my scholarship, and on weekends I tutored kids who were in foster care. I was pretty introverted back then. My friends were bookworms and lab rats. I didn’t have girlfriends who talked about things like sex, and I grew up with just my dad. You don’t talk about sex with your father. And Carson? Gosh, you guys, he is the most amazing person I’ve ever known. But he told me when we first met that he’d never settle down with one woman. So when we started sleeping together I never thought to push it. For almost two years, we had a secret sexual relationship. Things between me and Carson were so hot, I’m surprised we didn’t combust. And after a while, he was all I thought about. Being with him, in his arms. In his bed. At the same time, I was terrified that people would find out about what we did, because we were…creative.”
Her cheeks burned, and she waved her hands, laughing nervously. “Anyway, I couldn’t handle feel
ing so out of control. Right before graduation I broke it off with Carson, and a few months later I married a safe, boring guy. When my father died, it all came to a head. I ended my loveless marriage and took off to Paris to find myself.” Her gaze drifted around the table. The compassion in their eyes made her feel safe enough to tell them the rest of the story. “But how could I find myself when a part of me still belonged to Carson?”
Amanda and Tiffany said, “Aw,” in unison.
“You poor thing,” Ally said. “You needed better friends for sure. No wonder Amanda said you and Carson couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”
Tawny was kind of relieved they’d noticed. Hiding wasn’t something she wanted to do anymore. And she knew that just because they recognized affection didn’t mean they knew what happened behind closed doors.
“Ally! Sorry, Tawny. I meant it in the very best way. What you described? That’s true love,” Amanda said. “That’s how you know. I know it’s overwhelming to have the three of us ready to blaze a path with you. I’ve always been reserved and private, more like you than Tiff and Ally. But you can trust us, Tawny. Whether you take baby steps with that trust, or dive right in. Either way, I meant what I said yesterday about adopting you into our sisterhood. It’s obvious you and Carson are together for the long haul, even if long-distance, and we’ll be here for you, too.”
CARSON’S CELL PHONE rang, and he snagged it from his desk, where he’d been poring over a contract in his home office. Mick had called earlier to tell him he’d be back later that evening, and they’d made plans to get together for lunch tomorrow so Mick could finally meet Tawny. He had been the only person Carson had opened up to after Tawny had broken things off. He trusted Mick with his life, but he’d only confessed his heartbreak over Tawny because his brother had seen him locking himself away from the world again and he’d refused to stand idly by and let that happen. He’d ridden Carson until he’d confessed, and Mick had once again been there for him, listening, trying to help figure things out.
Brett’s name flashed on the screen. Talk about going from one extreme to the other.
“What’s up?” Carson answered, hoping there wasn’t an issue at the office.
“Considering I’m at work, what’s up is not what I’d like to be up.” Brett laughed at his own innuendo.
Carson shook his head. He was used to Brett’s humor, but he wasn’t in the mood for it today. Tawny had been gone only a few hours, and he missed the hell out of her. How would he get through weeks at a time when she was in Paris? They’d successfully skirted the issue of where they would go from here. He wasn’t anywhere near ready for her to leave. And he knew he never would be.
“Hey? No laugh?” Brett asked.
“Just busy. What’s going on? Is there an issue at the office?”
“No. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Carson leaned back against the soft leather chair. “I’m fine. Why?”
“Why?” Brett said incredulously. “Dude, the woman who you’ve been madly in love with since college just appeared in your life out of nowhere, and she’s leaving tomorrow. She didn’t answer last night when the girls asked her about coming back. I’m worried about you, bro. I’ve never seen you like you are with her.”
“How did you know how I felt about her in college when I didn’t even know? You were even more wrapped up in nonsense then than you are now.”
“Seriously? I can check out tits and ass at the same time I’m taking in everything around me. You know that.”
Carson smiled. “Yeah, I do. But you’re not really a touchy-feely guy. And what the hell do you know about love?”
“Nothing, but I know you. You’re harder to crack than a coconut. But when you’re with Tawny? When she came to your door in college that time I was visiting with Mom and Dad? Man, one look at you two together was all I needed to know something was up. Around her you’re soft as butter.”
Carson sighed, surprised he was that easy to read. Or hard as steel was on the tip of his tongue, but he knew better than to give Brett that kind of line to run with.
“It’s a good thing, right?” Brett asked. “She’s back in your life. You’re more relaxed, happier.”
“Yeah. It’s complicated, but it’s good. It’s amazing, actually.”
“I wasn’t kidding when I said you should go back to Paris with her. I can manage the operations here for however long you need me to.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that. But you and I know it’s a much bigger deal than handling a few phone calls. One thing’s for sure. I’m not making the mistake of letting her go again.”
A call beeped through, and Tawny’s name appeared on the screen. “Thanks for worrying, bro, but we’ll figure this out. I’ve got to take this call.”
“Okay, cool. I’m here if shit goes south.”
“Thanks.” Carson switched over to Tawny’s call, his nerves strung tight. “Hey, babe, are you having fun?”
“Carson,” she said in a trembling voice.
He bolted to his feet. “What’s wrong?”
“The Biology Café is gone. I met the girls around the corner and decided to come by and see it, but it’s closed. Empty. There’s no sign saying it moved or anything.” She exhaled loudly. “I just can’t believe it’s gone.”
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m coming to get you. Stay there.”
“What if this is a sign?”
Fuck. “It’s not a sign, Tabs. There are no signs. That’s something people say when they need false hope, or to rationalize what they’re doing.” As he said the words, his own claim came back to him. You coming back to me on the night of the fundraiser? That is important. A sign even. Goddamn it. Maybe he wasn’t as rational as he thought, because that did feel like a sign, but this? No fucking way. He wasn’t going to lose her over a failed café.
“Tabby, sweetheart, listen to me. I love you and you love me, and a closed café has no bearing on that. I’m going to call Barton and head over. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
After talking with Tabby, he called Barton, shoved his feet into his boots, and grabbed his leather bomber jacket. While he waited for Barton to arrive, he made a few more calls to find out what happened to the café. If Tawny was looking for signs, he’d sure as hell find the right one.
Chapter Fourteen
TWENTY MINUTES LATER Carson stood outside the empty retail space that was once the Biology Café with a heartbroken Tawny tucked beneath his arm.
“I don’t even know when it closed,” she said sadly. “This is the first time I’ve been back since my father died.”
He gazed into her sad green eyes, feeling her sorrow as his own. After losing her father, she must feel like losing the traditions she’d once counted on were like losing pieces of herself all over again. Did she worry that those memories would be forgotten? Or was it bigger than that? Did she feel like parts of herself were being erased?
Whatever was going on in Tawny’s head Carson wasn’t about to let happen.
“The café was just a symbol, Tabs. Symbols are meaningful on a deep level, but on the surface they’re just symbols. If you took away the symbol H20, water would still exist, right? Everyone in the world knows that water is a substance, but not everyone knows that H20 represents it.” He waved toward the empty retail space. “That café was your symbol, but what happened here, on this corner, will never change, regardless of the landscape. This corner, this spot on earth, will always be here. That retail space may not be a café, but you’ll have this area to come back to, to celebrate your parents’ love for each other. I’ll set up a table for us right here every year, and we’ll have a beautiful lunch in memory of your parents on the anniversary of the day they met. We won’t let your traditions be forgotten. I promise you that.”
A radiant smile reached all the way up to her eyes. “Is there anything you won’t do for me?”
He cradled her face in his hands, vaguely aware of people walking around them, glad she
was smiling again. “No. You can count on me, Tabs. You always could. Nothing has changed for the worse, and everything has changed for the better. And right now we’re going to get out of here and get your mind off of this.” He guided her to the car and asked Barton to take them to Greenwich Village.
“Don’t you find it weird that the café closed after my dad died?” she asked. “Like it was meant to be the end to an era, or something? Like I’m supposed to move past it?”
“No, I don’t think you’re supposed to move past anything. Celebrating your parents’ love made you happy. This is a coincidence, that’s all. Not a sign,” he assured her. “We can’t control the variables around us. You know that. We are the only constants in our lives, and some days we can’t even control ourselves.”
“We can’t control them, but we can appreciate them.” She pulled a small black velvet bag out of her pocket and set it in his hand. “Even though you’re technically a variable, in my heart, you’ve always been my constant, Carson. It was thoughts of you that drove me to discover the real me back in college, and again now. And I’m one hundred percent convinced that thoughts of being with you again were what pulled me through my father’s death.”
He slid a hand beneath her hair and pulled her into a warm, sensual kiss. “Thank you, baby, but you don’t need to buy me anything. You’re here with me, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He opened the bag and out dropped a silver necklace with a lowercase, italic h charm.
“It’s Planck’s constant,” she said excitedly. “A physical constant that is the quantum of action, central in quantum mechanics. And quantum mechanics is the body of scientific laws that describe the strange behavior of photons, electrons, and the other particles that make up the universe. In my universe, you are my Planck’s constant, which explains all of my wacky behavior.”
He laughed, but his heart felt like it might crawl out of his chest. He drew her into another kiss, his throat thickening with emotions. “Only you would ever think of something like this, and it’s only one of a million reasons why I adore you. Thank you, Tabs.”
Bad Boys After Dark: Carson (Bad Billionaires After Dark Book 3) Page 16