Carson’s stomach turned over at the thought of his Tawny putting herself out there like that because of the things they’d done together. Hearing it from Tawny, and hearing Mick’s description of her, brought it slamming into him. He should have pushed harder in college. He never should have let her go.
“Cut to the chase, Mick. I need to go to her.”
“It was a BDSM club. She went into a room with a guy, and I was worried, so I stood by, listening. I got her out when things turned out to be more than she could handle. She wouldn’t let me drive her home, wouldn’t tell me her name. She drove off, and I never saw her again. I had no idea she was your Tawny. You’re sure she’s okay? Stable?”
“I wouldn’t marry her if I didn’t trust who she was one hundred percent,” Carson seethed, out of anger for the situation, for the mortification he knew Tawny must feel. He plowed past Mick and out the office door. “I knew she went to a club,” he said under his breath to Mick, who was storming down the hall beside him. “She told me. But I didn’t know things went that badly.”
He stopped beside the ladies’ room, causing Mick to plow into him.
“Thank you for getting her out of there,” Carson said. “I love her, Mick. She was there because of things we did together in college. She was trying to figure out who she was. It’s my fucking fault.”
Carson pushed the bathroom door open, and Amanda spun around as he and Mick burst in.
“Where’d she go?” Carson asked.
Amanda pointed to the stall. “She said she’s sick, but she won’t open up. What should I do?”
“Babe, she’ll be okay,” Mick said. “Just keep everyone out of the bathroom.”
TAWNY PRESSED THE wad of toilet paper to her eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears pouring down her face. Of all the people in the world to have seen her in that stupid, goddamn club, why did it have to be Carson’s brother?
“Tabs?” Carson’s concerned voice came through the stall door. “It’s me, baby. Open up.”
She closed her eyes, her heart hurting so badly she could barely think. She tugged at her beautiful engagement ring, her vision blurred from tears. “I know you can’t marry me now, but I can’t get the ring off. It’s stuck.”
“Tawny Bishop, if you take that ring off, I will tear this stall apart and tan your sweet ass.”
Not a threat. That made her ache even more. Carson was it for her. The only man she’d ever want. Her true love. Her one and only.
“Babe, please. I already knew about the club. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Tawny,” Mick said.
Her eyes sprang open. Mick was still in the bathroom? Oh God.
“I was in that club, too.” Mick’s deep voice came through the door, closer this time. “We were both there for the same reason. I’m sorry you’re embarrassed, but please don’t be.”
“Oh my God. Not only are my worst fears coming true, but we’re at your brother’s office. Can you two please get out of the ladies’ room?”
“I’m not leaving until you’re in my arms, babe.”
“And I’m not leaving until we get past this,” Mick declared. “My brother loves you, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to walk out that door until this situation is rectified.”
“Then we’ll be living in the bathroom for a long time.” She wiped her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Two big men in the women’s bathroom. What is your staff going to think? God, I’ve embarrassed all of us.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what his staff thinks, Tabby.”
“And I don’t get embarrassed,” Mick said.
She was silent for a long moment. She loved Carson so much, how could she ever face Mick or Amanda again. “Mick? Does Amanda know?”
“That I used to go to those clubs?” Mick asked. “Yes. I have no secrets from her.”
She swallowed hard and forced herself to ask the more difficult question. “Does she…? Did she go to them?” Her voice came out thin and shaky.
“No,” Mick answered. “She never has. But the night we first got together, both of us were in costumes and masks. We both thought we were hooking up with a random person in a bar. We almost had anonymous sex in the bathroom. When I realized it was her, I put a stop to it. We’ve all done things that are embarrassing, but that’s how we learn and grow as adults.”
She’d known this about them—Amanda had told her—but hearing Mick say it made her cry even harder. He didn’t hesitate to share his private moment to save his brother’s relationship. Brotherly bonds…
“I’m sorry, Carson,” she said softly, causing more tears to fall. “I don’t even know who the guy was that I was with. What if he was one of your clients and we run into him next month, or next year, or five years from now? How can you ever look at me again?”
Carson’s face appeared over the stall door. His concerned, loving gaze sucked the air from her lungs. “Tabby, I wouldn’t care if you’d slept with any number of nameless, faceless men before me. I only care that we’re together now. You told me the truth, baby. The only part of this that hurts me is that I caused you to search for something you could only find with me. I regret that, and I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she said. “I didn’t sleep with that guy. He spoke to me like I was a dog. He wanted me to take off my clothes and sit with my back to him. But he wasn’t you, and I was petrified to give him control. He got angry and said horrible things, and then Mick came in and he got me out of there.” She covered her face. “And I was awful to Mick because I was so embarrassed. And now I’m mortified that I was such a bitch to him and that he saw me there, at the lowest time in my life.”
Carson’s face disappeared from above the door, and the door crashed open, and then she was in his arms, sobbing into his shirt as he whispered reassurances.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“It’s okay, baby.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, one hand on her back, the other holding her around her shoulders. Her shield. Her protector. Her best friend. “I’ve got you, and I am never letting go.”
Carson’s love made her cry harder. What did she do to deserve him? “You’re not bothered that Mick knows?”
“Baby, he got you out of a bad situation. As much as I hate him knowing you were in that club because of me, he protected you as if you were his own flesh and blood, and he didn’t even know you. I’m not ashamed of you trying to figure out who you were if that’s what you’re worried about. No. Not even a little.” He closed his eyes for a beat, breathing deeply. “We talked about signs before. I think it’s a pretty big one that he was there for you.”
She tried to focus on Mick through her tears. “I’m sorry, Mick. You must think I’m a slut, but I’m really not. I swear it. There’s only been two men since college. My ex-husband and Carson. I’ve never gone to a place like that except that one time.”
“Tawny, I married a woman who thought she was picking up a random guy for a one-night stand,” Mick said. “And what’s even more remarkable is the fact that the incredible woman standing on the other side of that door married me, a guy who spent years sleeping with women I didn’t know. I would never judge you. If anything, I think what you did shows incredible strength in your character. At least you were looking for answers. I was doing everything I could to escape them.”
His confession hit her hard. Did everyone have demons they tried to outrun?
Amanda peeked her head into the ladies’ room. “Sorry to interrupt, but there’s a line forming out here. Are you okay?” Her gaze fell on Tawny.
Oh no. What could she tell her?
“Can you give us another minute, sweetheart?” Mick asked. “Tell them to use the bathroom in my office.”
After Amanda closed the door, Tawny said, “How am I ever going to live this down?” What do I tell Amanda? She’s been so good to me. I can’t lie to her, but what will she think of me if I tell h
er? How can I marry into your family with this shadowing me?”
“I’m going to leave you two alone to figure this out, but our family has bigger shadows than this, Tawny. This is a blip on the radar screen, even though it feels huge to you right now.” Mick reached for the door.
“Wait.” Tawny went to him. “I can’t ask you to keep a secret from Amanda. I’ll tell her.” Carson’s arm circled her waist, and she drew courage from his support. “If Tiffany can look Brett in the eye after flashing him, I can do this.” That earned a smile from each of them, including her.
Mick left the bathroom, and Carson turned her in his arms. “Tiffany told you about flashing us?”
Her tears finally stopped, though her heart was still racing. “Yes.”
“Does that mean you’ll tell her about this?”
She hadn’t thought about that, but now that she was, she realized she wouldn’t feel right keeping a secret with Amanda and not including Tiffany. If I’m going to be mortified, might as well let everyone in on it. “Probably.”
“Are you okay with that? Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” rushed from her lungs. “I’m so emotionally exhausted, all I want to do is be with you someplace quiet so I can tear apart this nightmare and put it behind me.”
He lifted her chin and pressed his lips to hers. “You asked how you could marry into my family with this shadowing you. How can you not?” A tease rose in his eyes.
“Are you questioning my question?”
“I read it on a mug somewhere.” He kissed her again. “You scared the hell out of me, baby.” He cradled her face in his hands and touched his forehead to hers. “I wish you’d run to me—not away from me—when you’re scared. I’ll always be here, and there’s no shadow big enough to take me on. My love for you is endless.”
“God, I love you,” she said, hugging him tight.
“Maybe we should start a new tradition of meeting in this bathroom every year on this date.”
She laughed, and it felt so good, it brought more laughter. Slightly hysterical laughter, which led to tears and kisses and more tears—happier tears as her heart put itself back together.
“Ever have sex in a bathroom?” Carson asked between delicious kisses.
“Carson!”
“Can’t fault a guy for trying.” He took her hand, but she didn’t budge.
She was too busy contemplating the lock on the bathroom door.
Epilogue
TAWNY HAD NEVER experienced such a glorious Christmas Eve. The lights of Paris twinkled against the evening sky, shimmering off the falling snow as it blanketed the city. Tawny’s gaze drifted from the balcony around her new, large dining room table. The one she’d had wouldn’t have allowed for Carson’s family and their significant others to join them for their holiday celebration. It was a special night. They’d been granted permission to have Adeline join them for dinner. She and Carson had been visiting her several times each week at the orphanage, and it wouldn’t have felt like Christmas without her. She’d immediately taken to his brothers, climbing on them like they were jungle gyms. Mick had been whispering in Amanda’s ear all night, and Tawny swore she heard the word babies more than once. He was whispering again now. Tiffany, Dylan, and Brett were arguing over who should get the last sweet roll. Tiffany’s eye roll told her Brett might win, but she knew if he did, he’d give it to her anyway.
Adeline’s giggles drew everyone’s attention. She sat on Carson’s lap in her pretty new pink taffeta Christmas dress and shiny white Mary Jane’s she and Carson had bought her last week when they’d taken her shopping. Carson was busy putting on a very animated puppet show with his napkin, earning more of Adeline’s sweet laughter. Tawny had wondered how the two would get along. She’d never seen Carson with a child before, but they’d hit it off from the moment they’d met, and tonight they were inseparable.
Carson’s mother, Jackie, tapped Tawny’s arm, looking adoringly at the two of them. “If that doesn’t make your ovaries explode, I don’t know what will.”
“I can barely stand it,” Tawny admitted. She and Carson had gone to New York for Thanksgiving and had spent several days with his family. His mother had taken Tawny under her wing, treating her as if she were her own daughter. Jackie was funny and insightful, and her love for her children showed in everything she did. Tawny liked to believe her mother would have been the same way.
“Have you guys set a wedding date?” Tiffany asked. She and Dylan had recently gotten engaged, and they were trying to figure out their wedding date just as Carson and Tawny were.
“I wanted to head to Vegas, but Tawny said it wasn’t fair to my mom.” Carson looked at Adeline. “That’s silly, isn’t it, Addy girl? Tawny should marry me right this second.”
“I’d marry you right this second.” Adeline kissed his cheek, and a unified aw sounded around the table.
“Vegas?” Jackie sounded appalled. “Baby, you are the last child of mine I’d expect to do something like that. I always thought if any of you did something impetuous, it would be Brett.”
Brett sat back with a big grin on his face. “Way to expect great things from me, Mom.”
“Oh, honey,” Jackie said. “If Lorelei were here, I’d expect her to be impetuous, too. It’s that need to live life to the fullest. You were like two peas in a pod that way. It’s a very good thing.”
Carson’s family had been sharing their feelings for Lorelei more and more since the fundraiser, and it had continued opening doors between Carson and his father. He’d even called to congratulate Carson on their engagement.
“I can be impetuous,” Carson insisted. “Right, Addy girl?”
Adeline smiled up at him. “I don’t know what that means, but if it means you can be red, then yes. Because you feel red to me.”
Adeline put colors together the way Tawny did fragrances. When asked, What does that taste like? Adeline would respond with something like, Kind of blue and a little yellow. She had no interest in science or computers, or even books. She loved colors and music, especially the piano, which was why there was a new one in their living room. Carson insisted on learning to play, and he was getting pretty good, too.
Carson waggled his brows, and everyone laughed. He hugged Adeline and said, “That’s my girl.”
Tawny’s full life still felt like a dream, but she was no longer afraid she’d wake up alone. Not when there were so many loving family members who refused to be ignored. Tiffany, Amanda, and Ally had all gotten international phone plans and they texted often. She spoke to Jackie once a week on the phone, like she used to do with her father, and she looked forward to those conversations. What she wasn’t looking forward to was Carson’s return to New York. He was leaving right after the holidays for two weeks to handle business matters, and two weeks felt like forever. She worried about him being so far away from his family and his business, and the truth was, she’d become so attached to his family, she missed them terribly despite the texts and phone calls.
“Tawny’s going to make me my own perfume,” Adeline announced to no one in particular. “It’s going to smell like flowers and sugar and pink!” She reached up and touched the pink bow on her barrette, which kept her long dark hair out of her eyes.
“That’s right, sweet girl.” Tawny’s heart might explode right along with her ovaries. She had prepared all she could to start her business, but she’d been putting off the final decision about where to open it. She wanted to wait until Adeline was adopted by a loving family, and settled, but every day that thought became harder to swallow. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she pushed to her feet and began gathering dishes. “I’ll make room for dessert.”
“I’ll help, Tabs.” Carson set Adeline on Jackie’s lap.
The others rose to help clear the table.
“You remind me of someone very special,” Jackie looked at Adeline adoringly as she tucked the happy little girl’s hair behind her shoulders. “Are you ready for Christmas, Miss Adeline
?”
“Yes! My Carson and Tawny bought me presents, and there’s a party where I live. Can you come? Please?” Adeline had been calling Carson “my Carson” since they met.
She blinked wide baby blues at Jackie, and Tawny swore she saw Jackie melt a little. Her eyes connected with Carson’s, and his heart was overflowing with love for them.
He put a hand on Tawny’s shoulder and whispered, “Can I talk to you alone for a second?”
“Sure.” She followed him into the kitchen and set the dishes down, peeking out at Jackie and Adeline. “They’re really getting attached to each other.”
His hands cradled her face, and he touched his soft lips to hers, centering her. “You love our little girl.”
A single, unstoppable tear slipped down her cheek. “Don’t call her that. I think I need to start getting used to the idea of letting her go, or I’ll never be able to.”
“What if you never had to?” he asked. “What if we adopted her, Tabs? She belongs with us. We can get married right away and bring her to the States, where she would have more family than she could ever hope for. You can open your perfumery and work part-time while she’s in school.”
Tawny couldn’t see through her tears, couldn’t speak for the thickening of her throat, as her loving fiancé made more of her dreams come true.
“I’ve wanted to bring it up from the moment I met her, but we had so many pieces of our lives left to figure out, I was waiting for the right time. Having my family here, watching Adeline climb all over Dylan, calling him Dilly, like Lorelei used to do, and swinging from Brett’s biceps like a little monkey, reminded me of how life could change in an instant. I’m not willing to take the chance of losing her tomorrow, or the next day, or a year from now. If you want to stay in Paris, we’ll do that. But I don’t want to let her go, Tabby, and I know you don’t either. She’s your sign, baby. She’s meant to be with us.”
Bad Boys After Dark: Carson (Bad Billionaires After Dark Book 3) Page 20